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(CNN)   Commerce Secretary John Bryson charged with trying to increase commerce for car repair shops   (cnn.com) divider line 121
    More: Dumbass, hit-and-run accident, Southern California, automobile repair shop, Secretary of Commerce, railroad crossing  
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5348 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2012 at 9:45 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-11 08:49:56 AM
This is good news for Obama.
 
2012-06-11 08:50:18 AM
... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?
 
2012-06-11 08:55:03 AM

SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?


Clearly he was drugged by ACORN thugs to prevent him from exposing 0bama's gay lover.
 
2012-06-11 08:55:26 AM
Could be a medical condition. Alcohol test came up clean. But hard to imagine someone doing all this without something going on. It was probably pills. Ambien or Ativan
 
2012-06-11 08:55:37 AM

SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?


I'm guessing alcohol was involved.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-11 09:34:04 AM
It almost sounds like he had a stroke, or maybe some sort of drug interaction. Just because he didn't have alcohol in his system doesn't mean it wasn't some prescription medicine.
 
2012-06-11 09:43:43 AM
HOPE AND CHANGE
BUT DONT YOU DARE CALL THEM RACIST
BOTH SIDES ARE BA, SO SAY fark IT AND STAY HOME ELECTION DAY
 
2012-06-11 09:44:20 AM

cman: HOPE AND CHANGE
BUT DONT YOU DARE CALL THEM RACIST
BOTH SIDES ARE BAD, SO SAY fark IT AND STAY HOME ELECTION DAY


fixt

Damn iPad
 
2012-06-11 09:46:07 AM
If it were a stroke or seizure the cops would have beaten him I to submission, denied medical care, apologized and sent him on his way. That leaves only controlled substances or aliens. Or maybe the Bilderberg group.
 
2012-06-11 09:46:58 AM
I guess someone spiked the Obama Kool-Aid.
 
2012-06-11 09:47:08 AM
Bet you $5 he had a stroke
 
2012-06-11 09:49:20 AM
He had a seizure.

This is clearly the end of Obama.
 
2012-06-11 09:49:43 AM

TravisBickle62: Bet you $5 he had a stroke


From the update at the top of the article page:
U.S. Commerce Secretary John Bryson, who police say caused two traffic accidents, suffered a seizure, his agency says.
 
2012-06-11 09:50:00 AM
TravisBickle62: "Bet you $5 he had a stroke"

This.
 
2012-06-11 09:51:13 AM
Appropriate use of a tag to describe a story linked by fark? Unpossible!
 
2012-06-11 09:51:24 AM

TravisBickle62: Bet you $5 he had a stroke


California is a long par five, so on in one is very impressive.
 
2012-06-11 09:51:26 AM
But was it a Muslim seizure?
 
2012-06-11 09:52:16 AM
I'm no lawyer, but this looks like a clear cut case of illegal search and seizure.
 
2012-06-11 09:53:51 AM
Somewhere Darrell Issa has a boner.
 
2012-06-11 09:54:11 AM
CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.
 
2012-06-11 09:54:15 AM

Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.


I'm guessing you didn't RTFA.
 
2012-06-11 09:55:45 AM

chimp_ninja: CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.


When an old dude's brain gets farked up he doesn't immediately realize it so he may go on his way for a while with a farked up brain.
 
2012-06-11 09:55:56 AM

chimp_ninja: CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.


seizure ---> crash ---> leave scene in confused post seizure state ---> crash again
 
2012-06-11 09:56:13 AM

spentmiles: I'm no lawyer,


but do you play one, on TV?
 
2012-06-11 09:56:16 AM
... and here I thought they were going to talk about state required "safety" inspections which are just a giant scam for the repair industry. "Your car is still under warranty? OK.. the alignment of your headlights are off, you need a headlight adjustment. Give us $100 or the police will punish you for us."

fark the commonwealth of Virginia so hard.
 
2012-06-11 09:56:27 AM

Satanic_Hamster: TravisBickle62: Bet you $5 he had a stroke

From the update at the top of the article page:
U.S. Commerce Secretary John Bryson, who police say caused two traffic accidents, suffered a seizure, his agency says.


It's called a seizure when you are rich and connected. For regular folks it's called DUI.
 
2012-06-11 09:57:31 AM
Bath salts! omg1 mUSLI1M BATH SALTS!
 
2012-06-11 09:58:22 AM

JerseyTim: Somewhere Darrell Issa has a boner.


Why? Are car alarm sales going up as a result of this?
 
2012-06-11 09:58:27 AM

Nasty_McFilth: Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.

I'm guessing you didn't RTFA.


What part of the word 'guessing' didn't you understand?
 
2012-06-11 09:59:21 AM

Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.


Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."
 
2012-06-11 09:59:32 AM

TravisBickle62: chimp_ninja: CNN now has a 'breaking news' banner that they claim he suffered a seizure. It's not clear to me why that would cause two traffic accidents. I am confused.

When an old dude's brain gets farked up he doesn't immediately realize it so he may go on his way for a while with a farked up brain.


Nah, the tag says "DUMBASS" so let's just go with that and move on. It's easier to laugh than feel empathy.
 
2012-06-11 10:00:58 AM
Non-event, this will go away, swept under the rug, disappear. Official report will say a "mild seizure"
 
2012-06-11 10:02:21 AM

cig-mkr: Non-event, this will go away, swept under the rug, disappear


Yeah they're doing a bang up job with this cover up. CNN front page should be able to be scrubbed, right?
 
2012-06-11 10:02:53 AM
Here's my two-handed prediction:
On the one hand, this guy steps down to "take care of his health."
On the other, the Democratic machine in California gets the charges quashed.
Bonus third option, all of the the above.
 
2012-06-11 10:04:38 AM
"Economy, Obama Commerce Secretary suffer seizures, multiple crashes."
 
2012-06-11 10:05:09 AM
He had a seizure.

Pretty obvious, though.
 
2012-06-11 10:05:10 AM

Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."


"The official, who spoke to CNN on condition of not being identified, said Bryson was given medication to treat the seizure."

As I understand it, someone who's just had a seizure can be mightily confused for a bit afterwords. IINAD of course, but just because he talked to them doesn't mean he made any real sense, and if he had a couple of seizures in a short time it could explain a lot. I used to work with a guy who was epileptic and he told me some stories about it. He technically wasn't supposed to drive either, but he'd had surgery and no seizures for a while and needed to be able to get to work.

I call it plausible with a chance of bullshiat.
 
2012-06-11 10:05:25 AM
He shoulda gone for a walk in the woods instead...
 
2012-06-11 10:06:18 AM

cig-mkr: Non-event, this will go away, swept under the rug, disappear. Official report will say a "mild seizure"


No, it will turn out that Bryson has no health insurance, will be saved by Obamacare. Win-win all around.
 
2012-06-11 10:06:43 AM

Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."


Yeah seriously. If you're having a seizure and just caused a car accident, why don't you just call 911 and get yourself in an ambulance?
 
2012-06-11 10:07:48 AM
Bath salts??
 
2012-06-11 10:08:17 AM

ladyfortuna: Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."

"The official, who spoke to CNN on condition of not being identified, said Bryson was given medication to treat the seizure."

As I understand it, someone who's just had a seizure can be mightily confused for a bit afterwords. IINAD of course, but just because he talked to them doesn't mean he made any real sense, and if he had a couple of seizures in a short time it could explain a lot. I used to work with a guy who was epileptic and he told me some stories about it. He technically wasn't supposed to drive either, but he'd had surgery and no seizures for a while and needed to be able to get to work.

I call it plausible with a chance of bullshiat.


Liberal POV: about 75% chance he had a seizure, about 25% chance he was drunk or high.
Conservative POV: 1023479012834719237840% chance he was drunk and high, no chance it was a legitimate medical condition.
 
2012-06-11 10:08:53 AM

Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.


TFA said he wasen't under the influence. I'm guessing a medical condition or something of that sort.
 
2012-06-11 10:09:20 AM
Anyone else reminded of the lead in to WKRP when the news VO says," And while the senator insisted he hadn't been drinking, he still couldn't explain his nudity:"?
 
2012-06-11 10:09:20 AM

Cythraul: SlothB77: ... and california defense lawyers.

Why was he unconscious when they found him - drugs and/ or alcohol; accident-related injuries; or did he just pass out/ fall asleep?

I'm guessing alcohol was involved.


I'm going with 80% odds of crunk!
 
2012-06-11 10:12:39 AM

ladyfortuna: I call it plausible with a chance of bullshiat.


You have an amusing profile, so you must be right. You really should get out of NY more often, though.

Clearly something was wrong. The speed of the diagnosis implies that this was a known but unpublicized condition. Not gonna be a secret anymore. Also, questions about his judgement will be raised.
 
2012-06-11 10:13:11 AM

Arkanaut: Galloping Galoshes: Satanic_Hamster: suffered a seizure, his agency says.

Pretty good long-distance diagnosis. Of course, since everything is commerce, I'm sure the Dept of Commerce is fully staffed by medical experts.

Two accidents? And after the first, he stopped and talked with the folks in the other car? "Sorry, I was having a seizure. Gotta go now. I have to get to another accident."

Yeah seriously. If you're having a seizure and just caused a car accident, why don't you just call 911 and get yourself in an ambulance?


Your brain really isn't working right during and after a seizure. It's not like the seizure ends and you are 100% immediately. I know someone who has had seizures and it can be a day or two before they are really fully back to normal.
 
2012-06-11 10:16:04 AM
Watching the Fox News coverage of it this morning was interesting. First it was "Obama cabinet member commits hit and run" with a picture of him standing next to Obama. As soon as the news broke that it was the result of a seizure, all mention of Obama's name during the story suddenly disappeared.
 
2012-06-11 10:18:42 AM

Serious Black: Liberal POV: about 75% chance he had a seizure, about 25% chance he was drunk or high.
Conservative POV: 1023479012834719237840% chance he was drunk and high, no chance it was a legitimate medical condition.


You caught me. I am 100+% sure it was drugs or alcohol. Actually, both. And his was the hand behind Obama's forged birth certificate, he flies a black helicopter, he's a demolition expert and was seen in the Twin Towers on 9/11, and (geez, I'm running out of conspiracies).

Not enough information available to make a judgement. If it was a known medical condition, there will be questions about his judgement. Particularly since he's a CABINET SECRETARY and has a driver available.
 
2012-06-11 10:19:46 AM

NeoCortex42: Watching the Fox News coverage of it this morning was interesting. First it was "Obama cabinet member commits hit and run" with a picture of him standing next to Obama. As soon as the news broke that it was the result of a seizure, all mention of Obama's name during the story suddenly disappeared.


Not surprising. Probably the reverse for MSNBC.
 
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