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(NJ.com)   Robbery note to hand to bank teller: ✔ Garden hose spray nozzle in lieu of weapon: ✔ Getaway car: ✔ Gas in getaway car:   (nj.com) divider line 31
    More: Dumbass, getaway car, New Jersey, getaway, vineland, garden hose, garden hose spray, weapons  
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4103 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2012 at 10:58 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-11 11:00:40 AM
Well, if he had money for gas he wouldn't be robbing a bank.
 
2012-06-11 11:04:41 AM
✔ is a thing now?
 
2012-06-11 11:06:01 AM
The reassuring thing about most criminals like this -- they are basically quite stupid.

/if the man was really interested in stealing some big money, he'd have gotten a job working at a bank, not robbing it.
 
2012-06-11 11:07:01 AM
Gub
 
2012-06-11 11:07:01 AM
I have no idea why It thought of this, but it instantly came to mind:

Skis, huh?
That's right.
Great. They yours?
Uh-huh.
Both of them?
Yeah.
Ah, cool!
 
2012-06-11 11:08:19 AM
CSB Time

I used to have a Toyota Camry that was stolen 3 times. I was dirt poor back then and could never put more than a couple dollars of gas in at a time. Every time it was stolen, it was recovered within 2-3 miles of where it was stolen. Twice I found it myself! Dumb criminals apparently aren't aware of a fuel gauge.
 
2012-06-11 11:09:09 AM

MAYORBOB: /if the man was really interested in stealing some big money, he'd have gotten a job working at a bank, not robbing it.


cs10917.userapi.com

Approves.
 
2012-06-11 11:11:09 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

approves.
 
2012-06-11 11:11:14 AM

marleymaniac: CSB Time

I used to have a Toyota Camry that was stolen 3 times. I was dirt poor back then and could never put more than a couple dollars of gas in at a time. Every time it was stolen, it was recovered within 2-3 miles of where it was stolen. Twice I found it myself! Dumb criminals apparently aren't aware of a fuel gauge.


Darn! I was expecting it to end up with more fuel than it started with, costing the robbers money.
 
2012-06-11 11:16:41 AM
Wow.... just.... wow
 
2012-06-11 11:16:53 AM
 
2012-06-11 11:21:16 AM
My dumbass cousin once robbed a gas station with some of his buddies at gunpoint. They then ran out of gas about a mile from the gas station - the police responding to the call recognized them from the description provided by the attendant and arrested them as they were walking from the gasless car...

Too stupid to steal the gas before stealing the gas station's money = several years in the state pen. He is an idiot...
 
2012-06-11 11:28:52 AM
Maybe he needed the money to BUY gas. It's not exactly free these days, y'know.
 
2012-06-11 11:31:22 AM
I drive a 100% electric, solar charged Prius so the only thing I worry about running out of is NPR.
 
2012-06-11 11:31:33 AM
I think I just figured out why the crime rate isn't booming during this recession. Nobody can afford gas for the getaway car.

Then again, the price of a gallon of gasoline in 1933 was about $2.75 in constant 2006 dollars. Except for the current spike and the Oil Crisis of 1973 and thereafter, it has generally declined despite massive increases in the number of cars, the number of cars per capita, the number of miles driven, the miles of roadway to drive on, etc.

http://www1.eere.energy.gov/vehiclesandfuels/facts/2006_fcvt_fotw426. h tml

I'm surprised more banks aren't robbed by thieves on racing bicycles. If they disguised themselves as bicycle courriers, they'd be inconspicuous no matter how insanely they darted in and out of traffic.
 
2012-06-11 11:33:31 AM

brantgoose: I think I just figured out why the crime rate isn't booming during this recession. Nobody can afford gas for the getaway car.

Then again, the price of a gallon of gasoline in 1933 was about $2.75 in constant 2006 dollars. Except for the current spike and the Oil Crisis of 1973 and thereafter, it has generally declined despite massive increases in the number of cars, the number of cars per capita, the number of miles driven, the miles of roadway to drive on, etc.

http://www1.eere.energy.gov/vehiclesandfuels/facts/2006_fcvt_fotw426. h tml

I'm surprised more banks aren't robbed by thieves on racing bicycles. If they disguised themselves as bicycle courriers, they'd be inconspicuous no matter how insanely they darted in and out of traffic.


Bicycle couriers are not that common.
 
2012-06-11 11:46:14 AM
That's why he wanted cash, not a check.
 
2012-06-11 11:49:46 AM

MAYORBOB: /if the man was really interested in stealing some big money, he'd have gotten a job working at a bank, not robbing it.


You have obviously never worked at a bank.

/work for the bank
//i am not the bank
 
2012-06-11 11:54:07 AM

Nakito: That's why he wanted cash, not a check.


I remember hearing about a bank robbery a couple decades ago where the robber handed a teller the note, and she calmly explained to him that the armored car had just done a pickup and there was hardly any cash on hand, but she'd be happy to write him a cashier's check for whatever amount he wanted. He agreed, and as she was writing out the check she told him that she needed to see his drivers license, which he handed over. Before police were able to even go to the robber's address (which the teller had kept a copy of), they were able to apprehend him at a different local bank, trying to cash the check.

/All-time favorite: the robber who had planned the perfect heist, down to what day & time to rob the bank, which teller was least likely to cause a fuss, and the perfect spot directly outside the bank doors to park his getaway car. Unfortunately for him, he didn't consider the possibility that someone else might steal said getaway car, which he left running on the curb, while he was inside the bank.
 
2012-06-11 12:25:35 PM

Christian Bale: [upload.wikimedia.org image 640x430]

approves.


Came for this. Leaving a champion in their eyes.
 
2012-06-11 12:52:09 PM

497.5 Feet of Rope: Christian Bale: [upload.wikimedia.org image 640x430]

approves.

Came for this. Leaving a champion in their eyes.



I figured I was the only one who instantly thought of that.

This life can be very strange.
 
2012-06-11 01:17:28 PM
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-11 01:26:16 PM
Was I the only one who thought the headline was an itemized list of things to put in a robbery note, and then got profusely confused.

Put yo checkmarks to the left of the item.
 
2012-06-11 01:47:40 PM
I have to ask. Why can we not just shoot these people and leave them for the farking crows instead of arresting them? Doesn't there have to be a point where a person is just too stupid to be alive?
 
2012-06-11 02:05:15 PM

Profedius: Doesn't there have to be a point where a person is just too stupid to be alive?


Yes but sadly at that point, they becomes members of Congress
 
2012-06-11 02:15:54 PM

MAYORBOB: /if the man was really interested in stealing some big money, he'd have gotten a job working at a bank, not robbing it.



Dumbass criminals like this guy can never pass background checks, I'm pretty sure they do that at banks. Also, how much exactly do you imagine an entry level bank employee is making? I don't quite think it would be on par with "stealing big money."
 
2012-06-11 02:57:04 PM

blorpen: Gub


Came for this, leaving satisfied.
seattle98.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-11 03:02:34 PM

D_Evans45: MAYORBOB: /if the man was really interested in stealing some big money, he'd have gotten a job working at a bank, not robbing it.


Dumbass criminals like this guy can never pass background checks, I'm pretty sure they do that at banks. Also, how much exactly do you imagine an entry level bank employee is making? I don't quite think it would be on par with "stealing big money."


No, but I think he's wondering what if a criminal got a job with a bank, so they could work it, from the inside
 
2012-06-11 03:55:42 PM

Trance750: No, but I think he's wondering what if a criminal got a job with a bank, so they could work it, from the inside



Even a teller isn't going to get away with stealing significant sums of money, and if he/she tried they'd have all their employee information for the bank to hand over to the authorities. At least if this asshat had put $2 in his gas tank beforehand he'd have been off pretty much worry free.
 
2012-06-11 08:16:12 PM
Geez, all the guy had to do was light a match and look in to see how gas he had.
 
2012-06-11 08:38:12 PM
Should have used a Ford ESCAPE Hybrid, ya think?
 
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