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(Billings Gazette)   Man hitchhiking across the country to write book called "The Kindness of America" shot by random passer-by on the side of the highway   (billingsgazette.com) divider line 26
    More: Ironic, Glasgow, Raymond Dolin, Montana Highway Patrol, Bureau of Land Management, highways  
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15814 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2012 at 5:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-11 01:24:50 AM
26 votes:
Chapter 1

WTF was I thinking?
2012-06-11 01:29:20 AM
4 votes:
To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land.
2012-06-11 10:23:45 AM
3 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Well, he found the real America.


"Good morning America how are you?
Don't you know me I'm your native son? (BANG)
I'm the guy who tried to hitchhike 'cross Montana,
I'll be down three pints of blood 'fore the day is done."

2012-06-11 08:19:23 AM
3 votes:

doglover: Tourture is very easy and can be done in any kitchen.


My wife knows this only too well. I fear her meatloaf in particular.
2012-06-11 06:04:17 AM
3 votes:
"Just call it 'Sometimes You Hear the Bullet', it's a better title anyway."
2012-06-11 01:53:42 AM
3 votes:

Confabulat: To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land

people.

FTFY
2012-06-11 12:36:06 AM
3 votes:
Well, he found the real America.
2012-06-11 12:33:59 AM
3 votes:
He was able to flag down a passer-by for help and is now recovering at Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital in Glasgow.


i50.tinypic.com

This is my thesis, man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP HITCHHIKING ACROSS AMERICA!
2012-06-11 09:13:38 AM
2 votes:

skinink: I am also writing a book called The Kindness of America. Except my research is being done solely on Fark, where none of you assholes can harm me!


Right the hell on. I totally agree. Let's meet up for a beer. I'll email you the address. I know this great little bar that has an "abandoned frozen burrito factory" as a theme. When you get about 1/4 of a mile away, shut off your headlights. When you're standing adjacent to the entrance, you'll see a hole in the bottom of the fence that you could probably squeeze under but DON'T. Go around the back and hop the fence where the barbed wire has be cut. It's tough to miss so just keep looking. You'll see it. Under a rock next to the backdoor you'll find a blindfold and a sharpie. Put the blindfold on and mark an 'X' on your forehead. It doesn't need to be perfect, it's totally casual LOL! Knock on the door three times. When you hear three knocks in return you'll answer, "The dog needs a toy." And that's it! We'll party all night and I'm totally not going to so anything creepy to you. That's for sure.
2012-06-11 01:12:47 AM
2 votes:
It was kind enough of the guy to not go for the kill shot.

/like raaaiiin, when all you need is a fork
2012-06-11 12:35:11 AM
2 votes:
I am certain it will make for an intersting, if short, book.
2012-06-11 12:31:50 AM
2 votes:
Dolin, from West Virginia, is hitchhiking across the country and writing a memoir called "The Kindness of America," Meier said.

That's a shootin'.
2012-06-11 10:52:07 AM
1 votes:
"When you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."
I don't think that was meant to be taken literally.
2012-06-11 08:12:59 AM
1 votes:

JohnnyC: In 1998 I hitchhiked from Michigan to California, to Oregon, back down south to Arizona, east through Texas and then North back up into Michigan. The trip took four and a half months and it was completely worth it. I met a lot of really wonderful people, learned a lot about my country, its people, and of course myself. There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California. A couple of guys in a pickup truck stopped and offered me a ride when I wasn't looking for a ride. They were a little too insistent and when they got a little too close I pulled a knife on them and convinced them to get back in the truck and leave. Which they did, and then I did. Nothing more came of that.

The second time was in Arizona. I stopped in Tempe to visit a couple of hot girls that had moved to Tempe from back home in Michigan. When I arrived there, I was quickly informed I had to leave because one of the girls was hooked up with a heroine dealer and he and his friends were coming over because they heard about me coming there. Apparently the guy wasn't happy about my visit. So I booked it out of there and watched from a safe distance as two cars with seven guys pulled up. None of them looked very friendly and at least one of them had a pistol (saw him put it in the back of his belt before he went into the girls' apartment. There was some yelling and arguing between the girlfriend and her boyfriend, and I could see that was going nowhere fast... so I hitched it up to Flagstaff because I heard it was a cool town (and it was).

A pack of raccoons also tried to steal my crackers once... and a bear burst out of the woods and ran across the road ten feet in front of me... and I got really cold on a mountain one day... but in general... my trip wasn't very dangerous. I didn't get shot, stabbed, robbed, raped, or even assaulted. Even the cops that talked to me along the way were nice to me. People took me to their houses, let me crash on their couches, showed me great places to see, invited me to join their hippy commune, offered me a cabin in the woods, gave me food, let me use their showers, gave me more rides that I could keep track of, and were general pretty farking awesome.

My absolute favorite thing I did on my journey was visit the coastal redwoods of northern California. If you get the chance to see/touch/smell those in person, I highly recommend taking the opportunity to do so. It was kind of life altering for me.


Hey, dude, watch out fot the flies when you shoot the moose. Oh, and that school bus is going to get cold. Bring a sleeping bag.
2012-06-11 07:53:59 AM
1 votes:
I'm guessing the shooters defense will be "Well, he kinda looked like a hippie, and I was drunk and thought - What the hell, free hippie to shoot".

/Might work if he gets a jury of his peers
2012-06-11 07:29:04 AM
1 votes:
Every society has its sociopaths, but America's sociopaths have many more opportunities to indulge in their twisted desires. Despite a population of 300 million plus people, America still has a lot of sparsely populated rural areas. Combine this with near universal access to private motor vehicles and guns (no questions asked in many places) and it's sociopath's paradise.

The American Tradition of Shoot Strangers
2012-06-11 06:20:42 AM
1 votes:

Lorelle: Confabulat: To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land people.

FTFY


This.
/bums me out about stuff like this. What happened to society?
//Get off my lawn.
encrypted-tbn3.google.com
2012-06-11 06:11:53 AM
1 votes:
Chapter 1

[This page intentionally left blank]
2012-06-11 05:49:04 AM
1 votes:

NewportBarGuy: He was able to flag down a passer-by for help and is now recovering at Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital in Glasgow.


[i50.tinypic.com image 288x162]

This is my thesis, man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP HITCHHIKING ACROSS AMERICA!


Well, yeah if they sent him all the way to Scotland, I guess he can write enough about America to get by: "Got shot, locals hate you so much they send you across the ocean to recover."

/and yeah, I know which Glasgow, so STFU and try to laugh, purists
//not you, Newport.
2012-06-11 05:39:47 AM
1 votes:
In 1998 I hitchhiked from Michigan to California, to Oregon, back down south to Arizona, east through Texas and then North back up into Michigan. The trip took four and a half months and it was completely worth it. I met a lot of really wonderful people, learned a lot about my country, its people, and of course myself. There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California. A couple of guys in a pickup truck stopped and offered me a ride when I wasn't looking for a ride. They were a little too insistent and when they got a little too close I pulled a knife on them and convinced them to get back in the truck and leave. Which they did, and then I did. Nothing more came of that.

The second time was in Arizona. I stopped in Tempe to visit a couple of hot girls that had moved to Tempe from back home in Michigan. When I arrived there, I was quickly informed I had to leave because one of the girls was hooked up with a heroine dealer and he and his friends were coming over because they heard about me coming there. Apparently the guy wasn't happy about my visit. So I booked it out of there and watched from a safe distance as two cars with seven guys pulled up. None of them looked very friendly and at least one of them had a pistol (saw him put it in the back of his belt before he went into the girls' apartment. There was some yelling and arguing between the girlfriend and her boyfriend, and I could see that was going nowhere fast... so I hitched it up to Flagstaff because I heard it was a cool town (and it was).

A pack of raccoons also tried to steal my crackers once... and a bear burst out of the woods and ran across the road ten feet in front of me... and I got really cold on a mountain one day... but in general... my trip wasn't very dangerous. I didn't get shot, stabbed, robbed, raped, or even assaulted. Even the cops that talked to me along the way were nice to me. People took me to their houses, let me crash on their couches, showed me great places to see, invited me to join their hippy commune, offered me a cabin in the woods, gave me food, let me use their showers, gave me more rides that I could keep track of, and were general pretty farking awesome.

My absolute favorite thing I did on my journey was visit the coastal redwoods of northern California. If you get the chance to see/touch/smell those in person, I highly recommend taking the opportunity to do so. It was kind of life altering for me.
2012-06-11 05:34:15 AM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: /like raaaiiin, when all you need is a fork


In my head...while reading your post.... Alanis burst right in and sang this part as loud as she does. It was really funny.
2012-06-11 02:49:52 AM
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: doglover: Confabulat: Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.

Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.

Kaiser Soze he is not, that's for sure.

She. And no - I'm well aware I am not suited to a life of crime. This is why I'm a librarian, and not a Billionaire Evil Mastermind.

But seriously - this guy is apparently not a hardened criminal, accustomed to police interrogation in his normal line of work. TV dramas aside, most people don't have enough practice to withstand an interrogation, I would think.


No ammount of practice could help you withstand an interrogation by someone determined to get info from you. Tourture is very easy and can be done in any kitchen.

But the police? You just clam up. TV shows make it look easy, but it's more of an hours long ordeal I'm sure. But they're not allowed to beat a confession outta you. If you are guilty, get a lawyer before you say ANYTHING. Unless it's rape, murder, or animal abuse. Then you fess up. Exagerate it even. Why? Because a little larceny or mob racketeering is bad, but those three are unforgivable.
2012-06-11 02:36:19 AM
1 votes:

doglover: Confabulat: Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.

Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.

Kaiser Soze he is not, that's for sure.


She. And no - I'm well aware I am not suited to a life of crime. This is why I'm a librarian, and not a Billionaire Evil Mastermind.

But seriously - this guy is apparently not a hardened criminal, accustomed to police interrogation in his normal line of work. TV dramas aside, most people don't have enough practice to withstand an interrogation, I would think.
2012-06-11 01:32:05 AM
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.


Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.
2012-06-11 12:36:44 AM
1 votes:
"It's totally random," he said. "These two gentlemen did not know each other. They'd never seen each other and we don't know of a motive. We don't know why this happened."

I always wonder, when I hear police statements like this. My first thought is always, "Did you ask him?" Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.
2012-06-11 12:29:13 AM
1 votes:
What the hell country did this guy come from? I wouldn't hitchhike across town without expecting robbery or rape.
 
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