If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Billings Gazette)   Man hitchhiking across the country to write book called "The Kindness of America" shot by random passer-by on the side of the highway   (billingsgazette.com) divider line 110
    More: Ironic, Glasgow, Raymond Dolin, Montana Highway Patrol, Bureau of Land Management, highways  
•       •       •

15811 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2012 at 5:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-06-11 12:29:13 AM
What the hell country did this guy come from? I wouldn't hitchhike across town without expecting robbery or rape.
 
2012-06-11 12:31:50 AM
Dolin, from West Virginia, is hitchhiking across the country and writing a memoir called "The Kindness of America," Meier said.

That's a shootin'.
 
2012-06-11 12:33:59 AM
He was able to flag down a passer-by for help and is now recovering at Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital in Glasgow.


i50.tinypic.com

This is my thesis, man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP HITCHHIKING ACROSS AMERICA!
 
2012-06-11 12:35:11 AM
I am certain it will make for an intersting, if short, book.
 
2012-06-11 12:36:06 AM
Well, he found the real America.
 
2012-06-11 12:36:44 AM
"It's totally random," he said. "These two gentlemen did not know each other. They'd never seen each other and we don't know of a motive. We don't know why this happened."

I always wonder, when I hear police statements like this. My first thought is always, "Did you ask him?" Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.
 
2012-06-11 12:48:15 AM
Kinda missed if he aint dead.

And thats the kindness!
 
2012-06-11 01:12:47 AM
It was kind enough of the guy to not go for the kill shot.

/like raaaiiin, when all you need is a fork
 
2012-06-11 01:24:50 AM
Chapter 1

WTF was I thinking?
 
2012-06-11 01:29:20 AM
To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land.
 
2012-06-11 01:32:05 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.


Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.
 
2012-06-11 01:41:55 AM

Confabulat: Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.

Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.


Kaiser Soze he is not, that's for sure.
 
2012-06-11 01:53:42 AM

Confabulat: To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land

people.

FTFY
 
2012-06-11 02:36:19 AM

doglover: Confabulat: Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.

Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.

Kaiser Soze he is not, that's for sure.


She. And no - I'm well aware I am not suited to a life of crime. This is why I'm a librarian, and not a Billionaire Evil Mastermind.

But seriously - this guy is apparently not a hardened criminal, accustomed to police interrogation in his normal line of work. TV dramas aside, most people don't have enough practice to withstand an interrogation, I would think.
 
2012-06-11 02:49:52 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: doglover: Confabulat: Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.

Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.

Kaiser Soze he is not, that's for sure.

She. And no - I'm well aware I am not suited to a life of crime. This is why I'm a librarian, and not a Billionaire Evil Mastermind.

But seriously - this guy is apparently not a hardened criminal, accustomed to police interrogation in his normal line of work. TV dramas aside, most people don't have enough practice to withstand an interrogation, I would think.


No ammount of practice could help you withstand an interrogation by someone determined to get info from you. Tourture is very easy and can be done in any kitchen.

But the police? You just clam up. TV shows make it look easy, but it's more of an hours long ordeal I'm sure. But they're not allowed to beat a confession outta you. If you are guilty, get a lawyer before you say ANYTHING. Unless it's rape, murder, or animal abuse. Then you fess up. Exagerate it even. Why? Because a little larceny or mob racketeering is bad, but those three are unforgivable.
 
2012-06-11 02:57:31 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: She. And no - I'm well aware I am not suited to a life of crime. This is why I'm a librarian, and not a Billionaire Evil Mastermind.

But seriously - this guy is apparently not a hardened criminal, accustomed to police interrogation in his normal line of work. TV dramas aside, most people don't have enough practice to withstand an interrogation, I would think.


Smart criminals don't leave a long rap sheet behind them.

And I'm hardly a hardened criminal but I don't say a word to cops unless it's to attempt not being hauled off to jail this time again. Usually that backfires.
 
2012-06-11 03:33:32 AM
Hey Malkovich! Dolin! Think fast!
 
2012-06-11 03:39:25 AM

borg: Hey Malkovich! Dolin! Think fast!


i.qkme.me
 
2012-06-11 04:05:49 AM
So proud of my compatriots.
 
2012-06-11 04:22:15 AM
America The BeautifulHazardous
 
2012-06-11 05:21:01 AM
USA USA USA
 
2012-06-11 05:34:15 AM

Mark Ratner: /like raaaiiin, when all you need is a fork


In my head...while reading your post.... Alanis burst right in and sang this part as loud as she does. It was really funny.
 
2012-06-11 05:39:47 AM
In 1998 I hitchhiked from Michigan to California, to Oregon, back down south to Arizona, east through Texas and then North back up into Michigan. The trip took four and a half months and it was completely worth it. I met a lot of really wonderful people, learned a lot about my country, its people, and of course myself. There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California. A couple of guys in a pickup truck stopped and offered me a ride when I wasn't looking for a ride. They were a little too insistent and when they got a little too close I pulled a knife on them and convinced them to get back in the truck and leave. Which they did, and then I did. Nothing more came of that.

The second time was in Arizona. I stopped in Tempe to visit a couple of hot girls that had moved to Tempe from back home in Michigan. When I arrived there, I was quickly informed I had to leave because one of the girls was hooked up with a heroine dealer and he and his friends were coming over because they heard about me coming there. Apparently the guy wasn't happy about my visit. So I booked it out of there and watched from a safe distance as two cars with seven guys pulled up. None of them looked very friendly and at least one of them had a pistol (saw him put it in the back of his belt before he went into the girls' apartment. There was some yelling and arguing between the girlfriend and her boyfriend, and I could see that was going nowhere fast... so I hitched it up to Flagstaff because I heard it was a cool town (and it was).

A pack of raccoons also tried to steal my crackers once... and a bear burst out of the woods and ran across the road ten feet in front of me... and I got really cold on a mountain one day... but in general... my trip wasn't very dangerous. I didn't get shot, stabbed, robbed, raped, or even assaulted. Even the cops that talked to me along the way were nice to me. People took me to their houses, let me crash on their couches, showed me great places to see, invited me to join their hippy commune, offered me a cabin in the woods, gave me food, let me use their showers, gave me more rides that I could keep track of, and were general pretty farking awesome.

My absolute favorite thing I did on my journey was visit the coastal redwoods of northern California. If you get the chance to see/touch/smell those in person, I highly recommend taking the opportunity to do so. It was kind of life altering for me.
 
2012-06-11 05:49:04 AM

NewportBarGuy: He was able to flag down a passer-by for help and is now recovering at Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital in Glasgow.


[i50.tinypic.com image 288x162]

This is my thesis, man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP HITCHHIKING ACROSS AMERICA!


Well, yeah if they sent him all the way to Scotland, I guess he can write enough about America to get by: "Got shot, locals hate you so much they send you across the ocean to recover."

/and yeah, I know which Glasgow, so STFU and try to laugh, purists
//not you, Newport.
 
2012-06-11 06:04:17 AM
"Just call it 'Sometimes You Hear the Bullet', it's a better title anyway."
 
2012-06-11 06:11:53 AM
Chapter 1

[This page intentionally left blank]
 
2012-06-11 06:20:42 AM

Lorelle: Confabulat: To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land people.

FTFY


This.
/bums me out about stuff like this. What happened to society?
//Get off my lawn.
encrypted-tbn3.google.com
 
2012-06-11 06:22:39 AM
Didn't John Waters already do this? Or just finish doing this, successfully?
 
2012-06-11 06:24:19 AM

Lorelle: Confabulat: To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land people.

FTFY



encrypted-tbn3.google.com

I broke it. Sorry.
6:20AM and only four beers deep since Saturday.
 
2012-06-11 06:31:34 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Well, he found the real America.


"He was able to flag down a passer-by for help and is now recovering at Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital in Glasgow."


Yes he did
 
2012-06-11 06:43:23 AM
That any idiot in this country can have a firearm is the stupidest idea.
 
2012-06-11 06:44:38 AM
A friend of mine and one of his friends crossed America on a Ural with a sidecar. They met loads of great people, especially a young mechanic in a nowehere little town. Two weeks after they met him the mechanic was shot by someone for apparently no reason. I'm not sure if the video is on youtube (of the trip, not the shooting) but it's worth a watch.

That friend and his wife also travelled the length of the Americas from Alaska to Patagonia on a Ural with a sidecar. It was their honeymoon and they shot a documentary along the way of married couples and interviewed them about their stories, their relationships etc. It's called Going The Distance and may be up on youtube as well although I know they haven't finished editing it.
 
2012-06-11 06:50:15 AM
NewportBarGuy:
[i50.tinypic.com image 288x162]

This is my thesis, man! This is my closing argument! I CAN STOP HITCHHIKING ACROSS AMERICA!


Holy crap. Pigman.
 
Skr
2012-06-11 07:03:57 AM
It's the 9 times out of 10 that you don't get shot that we should all be focusing on.


/at least he wasn't picked up by a pair of ladies in the mood for killing.
 
2012-06-11 07:14:23 AM
Run, Forrest, Run!
 
2012-06-11 07:19:39 AM
i527.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-11 07:29:04 AM
Every society has its sociopaths, but America's sociopaths have many more opportunities to indulge in their twisted desires. Despite a population of 300 million plus people, America still has a lot of sparsely populated rural areas. Combine this with near universal access to private motor vehicles and guns (no questions asked in many places) and it's sociopath's paradise.

The American Tradition of Shoot Strangers
 
2012-06-11 07:36:42 AM
I blame Hollywood

brammofan.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-11 07:41:12 AM
Somebody stopped and helped him, right? There you go. The kindness of America.
 
2012-06-11 07:49:59 AM

doglover: borg: Hey Malkovich! Dolin! Think fast!


I cannot explain why, but "Gooby pls" makes me laugh out loud every time. Especially when it's unexpected.
 
2012-06-11 07:53:46 AM
Didn't someone attempt a similar journey globally themed a few years ago only to end up getting murdered in Turkey?
 
2012-06-11 07:53:59 AM
I'm guessing the shooters defense will be "Well, he kinda looked like a hippie, and I was drunk and thought - What the hell, free hippie to shoot".

/Might work if he gets a jury of his peers
 
2012-06-11 07:57:30 AM

badhatharry: Somebody stopped and helped him, right? There you go. The kindness of America.


This is what we need to keep in mind. There are more people out there who would help you than there are who would shoot you.

Yesterday my daughter lost her purse containing credit cards, £30, gig tickets. She rang around trying to find it and it eventually turned up. The finder had handed it in to the supermarket where she'd left it. The supermarket employee had kept all the content safe. These as the normal people.
 
2012-06-11 07:58:29 AM

Confabulat: What the hell country did this guy come from? I wouldn't hitchhike across town without expecting robbery or rape.


Ah. America!
 
2012-06-11 08:00:40 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: "It's totally random," he said. "These two gentlemen did not know each other. They'd never seen each other and we don't know of a motive. We don't know why this happened."

I always wonder, when I hear police statements like this. My first thought is always, "Did you ask him?" Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.


Yeah, well, usually when you just ask them, the answer is "I didn't do it and I wasn't there when it happened."
 
2012-06-11 08:01:43 AM

doglover: Benevolent Misanthrope: doglover: Confabulat: Benevolent Misanthrope: Because I'm fairly certain that, once caught, the vast majority of people who commit a serious crime would start jabbering due to the stress.

Stay out of criminal activity. That is a very poor attitude.

Kaiser Soze he is not, that's for sure.

She. And no - I'm well aware I am not suited to a life of crime. This is why I'm a librarian, and not a Billionaire Evil Mastermind.

But seriously - this guy is apparently not a hardened criminal, accustomed to police interrogation in his normal line of work. TV dramas aside, most people don't have enough practice to withstand an interrogation, I would think.

No ammount of practice could help you withstand an interrogation by someone determined to get info from you. Tourture is very easy and can be done in any kitchen.

But the police? You just clam up. TV shows make it look easy, but it's more of an hours long ordeal I'm sure. But they're not allowed to beat a confession outta you. If you are guilty, get a lawyer before you say ANYTHING. Unless it's rape, murder, or animal abuse. Then you fess up. Exagerate it even. Why? Because a little larceny or mob racketeering is bad, but those three are unforgivable.


She's right. When I worked for law enforcement I dealt with a lot of taped interrogations (they're all taped). The only criminals who know how to act in that situation are the ones who've been in it many, many, MANY times. The rest, believe it or not, if you can make them laugh, you can make them talk. And if people talk, the say too much.

Also a lot of very bad people seem to think that "Deep down, I'm really a good person". Heard that time and time again.
 
2012-06-11 08:08:46 AM

Ablejack: That any idiot in this country can have a firearm is the stupidest idea.


Any idiot can vote, and in the long run those that do cause far more damage than idiots with guns. An idiot who is served by battalions of armed and trained non-idiots is incomparably more dangerous than a mere armed idiot.

So, no, it' not the stupidest idea.
 
2012-06-11 08:12:59 AM

JohnnyC: In 1998 I hitchhiked from Michigan to California, to Oregon, back down south to Arizona, east through Texas and then North back up into Michigan. The trip took four and a half months and it was completely worth it. I met a lot of really wonderful people, learned a lot about my country, its people, and of course myself. There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California. A couple of guys in a pickup truck stopped and offered me a ride when I wasn't looking for a ride. They were a little too insistent and when they got a little too close I pulled a knife on them and convinced them to get back in the truck and leave. Which they did, and then I did. Nothing more came of that.

The second time was in Arizona. I stopped in Tempe to visit a couple of hot girls that had moved to Tempe from back home in Michigan. When I arrived there, I was quickly informed I had to leave because one of the girls was hooked up with a heroine dealer and he and his friends were coming over because they heard about me coming there. Apparently the guy wasn't happy about my visit. So I booked it out of there and watched from a safe distance as two cars with seven guys pulled up. None of them looked very friendly and at least one of them had a pistol (saw him put it in the back of his belt before he went into the girls' apartment. There was some yelling and arguing between the girlfriend and her boyfriend, and I could see that was going nowhere fast... so I hitched it up to Flagstaff because I heard it was a cool town (and it was).

A pack of raccoons also tried to steal my crackers once... and a bear burst out of the woods and ran across the road ten feet in front of me... and I got really cold on a mountain one day... but in general... my trip wasn't very dangerous. I didn't get shot, stabbed, robbed, raped, or even assaulted. Even the cops that talked to me along the way were nice to me. People took me to their houses, let me crash on their couches, showed me great places to see, invited me to join their hippy commune, offered me a cabin in the woods, gave me food, let me use their showers, gave me more rides that I could keep track of, and were general pretty farking awesome.

My absolute favorite thing I did on my journey was visit the coastal redwoods of northern California. If you get the chance to see/touch/smell those in person, I highly recommend taking the opportunity to do so. It was kind of life altering for me.


Hey, dude, watch out fot the flies when you shoot the moose. Oh, and that school bus is going to get cold. Bring a sleeping bag.
 
2012-06-11 08:19:23 AM

doglover: Tourture is very easy and can be done in any kitchen.


My wife knows this only too well. I fear her meatloaf in particular.
 
2012-06-11 08:19:39 AM

jjacobs7: Didn't John Waters already do this? Or just finish doing this, successfully?


I came here to say this too.
 
2012-06-11 08:22:48 AM
They kindly gave him free bullets?
 
2012-06-11 08:30:01 AM
That damn "oil patch" in North Dakota has brought in more trash and vermin than we need out here in the boondocks. They aren't hiring every warm body that shows up anymore either (contrary to what Fark Experts have told us all), so the drifters are left to drift off somewhere else, in a bad mood and broke besides.

I've also hitchhiked all over the U.S. and parts of Canada, and found most people to be friendly, helpful and not creepy at all. Yes, I did get hit on a lot--but only in a few instances did I feel threatened. I'd suggest you stick to the west if you'd like to try it. It's not unusual to see hitch-hikers all over the highway on-ramps during the summer around here.

steerforth: Hey, dude, watch out fot the flies when you shoot the moose. Oh, and that school bus is going to get cold. Bring a sleeping bag.


Someone sounds jealous. Now you just get on back in your cubicle where it's safe.
 
2012-06-11 08:30:13 AM
I HitchHiked across the US in 1970.
Wasn't much "fun".
Cold, wet, tired, hungry and prey.
Highlights-
Beaten, left for dead in Ohio- (saved by state cop)
Threatened with a shotgun in Indiana
Clipped by a car outside E. St. Louis
hiat by a case of empty 75mph Coors in Amarillo
Hid in a dumpster all Friday night in Brownsville (on advice of a gentleman that looked like John Lee Hookers brother)
Damn near froze to death in Wisconsin (saved by a trucker)

Had no cash so it wasn't "romantic".

Couldn't forget any of it if I tried.

I think you'd be nuts to try it now - that or you'd end up walking most of the way
 
2012-06-11 08:38:48 AM

JohnnyC: In 1998 I hitchhiked from Michigan to California, to Oregon, back down south to Arizona, east through Texas and then North back up into Michigan. The trip took four and a half months and it was completely worth it. I met a lot of really wonderful people, learned a lot about my country, its people, and of course myself. There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California. A couple of guys in a pickup truck stopped and offered me a ride when I wasn't looking for a ride. They were a little too insistent and when they got a little too close I pulled a knife on them and convinced them to get back in the truck and leave. Which they did, and then I did. Nothing more came of that.

The second time was in Arizona. I stopped in Tempe to visit a couple of hot girls that had moved to Tempe from back home in Michigan. When I arrived there, I was quickly informed I had to leave because one of the girls was hooked up with a heroine dealer and he and his friends were coming over because they heard about me coming there. Apparently the guy wasn't happy about my visit. So I booked it out of there and watched from a safe distance as two cars with seven guys pulled up. None of them looked very friendly and at least one of them had a pistol (saw him put it in the back of his belt before he went into the girls' apartment. There was some yelling and arguing between the girlfriend and her boyfriend, and I could see that was going nowhere fast... so I hitched it up to Flagstaff because I heard it was a cool town (and it was).

A pack of raccoons also tried to steal my crackers once... and a bear burst out of the woods and ran across the road ten feet in front of me... and I got really cold on a mountain one day... but in general... my trip wasn't very dangerous. I didn't get shot, stabbed, robbed, raped, or even assaulted. Even the cops that talked to me along the way were nice to me. People took me to their houses, let me crash on their c ...


Cool story, brah. Sounds like a more exciting version of, "Into the Wild." And with a happier ending.
 
2012-06-11 08:48:10 AM

ShannonKW: Ablejack: That any idiot in this country can have a firearm is the stupidest idea.

Any idiot can vote, and in the long run those that do cause far more damage than idiots with guns. An idiot who is served by battalions of armed and trained non-idiots is incomparably more dangerous than a mere armed idiot.

So, no, it' not the stupidest idea.


WTF am I reading here.
So a nation of armed idiots is supposed to be protection against a battalion of non-idiots led by an idiot? How about a professional Army led by an idiot like we have now? Doesn't seem to make a difference. Please parse this nonsense so it makes sense in this context. If you understand context.
 
2012-06-11 08:49:18 AM
I am also writing a book called The Kindness of America. Except my research is being done solely on Fark, where none of you assholes can harm me!
 
2012-06-11 08:50:24 AM

skantea: Also a lot of very bad people seem to think that "Deep down, I'm really a good person". Heard that time and time again.


Lots of cops and prison guards think that about themselves, too.
 
2012-06-11 08:52:29 AM

JohnnyC: \There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California.


There's something seriously wrong with that part of the world. Like hills-have-eyes wrong.
 
2012-06-11 08:54:42 AM

cryinoutloud: That damn "oil patch" in North Dakota has brought in more trash and vermin than we need out here in the boondocks. They aren't hiring every warm body that shows up anymore either (contrary to what Fark Experts have told us all), so the drifters are left to drift off somewhere else, in a bad mood and broke besides.

I've also hitchhiked all over the U.S. and parts of Canada, and found most people to be friendly, helpful and not creepy at all. Yes, I did get hit on a lot--but only in a few instances did I feel threatened. I'd suggest you stick to the west if you'd like to try it. It's not unusual to see hitch-hikers all over the highway on-ramps during the summer around here.

steerforth: Hey, dude, watch out fot the flies when you shoot the moose. Oh, and that school bus is going to get cold. Bring a sleeping bag.

Someone sounds jealous. Now you just get on back in your cubicle where it's safe.


Sorry my ovaries aren't brassy enough for you. You see, the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved.
 
2012-06-11 08:55:03 AM
Manky Scots Git !
 
2012-06-11 08:55:14 AM

Confabulat: To put aside my normal cynicism, I'm very sure the USA is a very kind country, once you manage to avoid all the murderers, rapists, thieves, and general sociopaths that are such an integral part of the mosaic of the fabric of our great land.


So, stay away from Washington, D.C, then?
 
2012-06-11 08:56:51 AM
This memoir will be disappointing because the writer is going to focus more of it on the people who helped him after he was shot and not the fact you can't hitchhike across the country for too long before you get shot randomly by a stranger.
 
2012-06-11 08:57:03 AM
Do people still pick up hitchhikers? I always associate it with the 60s and 70s. I'll occassionally see them on road trips, but it's never crossed my mind to stop. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I'd assume the guy was crazy or an axe murderer.
 
2012-06-11 09:00:42 AM
The man starts his journey across America from heading east from West Virginia?

That sounds like something someone from West Virginia would do. I mean, that's the way I would do it too, but I'm lazy. It's a lot shorter to the coast that way.
 
2012-06-11 09:01:10 AM
Well, that snaps it. I'm changing the title of my book to "My Journey Across America Without A Shot In Hell Of Finding An RV Full of Nubile Arizona State Cheerleaders Looking For A Guy To Be Nice To"
 
2012-06-11 09:01:12 AM
Could have been worse, he could have heard banjo music prior to being attacked
 
2012-06-11 09:01:56 AM
bulk.destructoid.com

Mostly harmlessful
 
2012-06-11 09:05:02 AM

jamspoon: I blame Hollywood

[EasyRider.jpg]


/satisfied
 
2012-06-11 09:09:41 AM
It will also rain on his wedding day
 
2012-06-11 09:13:38 AM

skinink: I am also writing a book called The Kindness of America. Except my research is being done solely on Fark, where none of you assholes can harm me!


Right the hell on. I totally agree. Let's meet up for a beer. I'll email you the address. I know this great little bar that has an "abandoned frozen burrito factory" as a theme. When you get about 1/4 of a mile away, shut off your headlights. When you're standing adjacent to the entrance, you'll see a hole in the bottom of the fence that you could probably squeeze under but DON'T. Go around the back and hop the fence where the barbed wire has be cut. It's tough to miss so just keep looking. You'll see it. Under a rock next to the backdoor you'll find a blindfold and a sharpie. Put the blindfold on and mark an 'X' on your forehead. It doesn't need to be perfect, it's totally casual LOL! Knock on the door three times. When you hear three knocks in return you'll answer, "The dog needs a toy." And that's it! We'll party all night and I'm totally not going to so anything creepy to you. That's for sure.
 
2012-06-11 09:14:30 AM

bearcats1983: Do people still pick up hitchhikers? I always associate it with the 60s and 70s. I'll occassionally see them on road trips, but it's never crossed my mind to stop. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I'd assume the guy was crazy or an axe murderer.


I used to stop if they seemed normal looking. The problem is you can't see mental illness.

I don't stop anymore. Nothing happened to change my attitude but I don't do much long distance driving without my wife anymore and no matter how innocent someone looks I'm not letting them into the car with my wife.
 
2012-06-11 09:15:45 AM
Damn I had a lot of typos. More coffee. Back later.
 
2012-06-11 09:20:16 AM
I just hitch hiked from Reno to Oregon last month and had a blast, met some really nice people, got a really biatchen tan, only took 31 hours to go 500 miles.
 
2012-06-11 09:25:09 AM

bearcats1983: Do people still pick up hitchhikers? I always associate it with the 60s and 70s. I'll occassionally see them on road trips, but it's never crossed my mind to stop. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I'd assume the guy was crazy or an axe murderer.


================

I only picked up a hitchhiker once....although I don't really know it you could call it hitchhiking. This Chinese dude knocked on my car window while I was at a stop light. As it turns out, he got off at the wrong bus stop and was a fairly long way from where he worked. He asked me about bus service to where he was going, but I didn't know the answer, since I don't generally ride buses, although I do take other types of mass transit. The dude was in a near panic because he was going to be late for work, so I drove him the three miles to his office building.
 
2012-06-11 09:27:52 AM
A little off topic, but why can't some of these journalist figure out that if the story is going to posted on the internet that the 'where' part of the story can't include the state or more info. for the non local people reading the story. They did a wonderful job making sure you know the state the victim came from but not much about the state it took place unless you know the counties and areas by being local to the story.

/something that just bugs me
//several Detroit's in the USA
///only one famous for being Detroit the rest facepalms
 
2012-06-11 09:28:00 AM

Egoy3k: bearcats1983: Do people still pick up hitchhikers? I always associate it with the 60s and 70s. I'll occassionally see them on road trips, but it's never crossed my mind to stop. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I'd assume the guy was crazy or an axe murderer.

I used to stop if they seemed normal looking. The problem is you can't see mental illness.

I don't stop anymore. Nothing happened to change my attitude but I don't do much long distance driving without my wife anymore and no matter how innocent someone looks I'm not letting them into the car with my wife.


Totally agree with you. Pre-marriage, I picked up hitchers a few times when they seemed harmless enough. Now that I'm married, there's no way in hell I'll even consider stopping. I think most people are good, but I don't trust any stranger to be near her. The odds of something happening are low, but it's an easily avoidable tragedy.
 
2012-06-11 09:28:30 AM
I want to keep track of this story. Why did he do i t? We have also had a series of random shootings here in San Antonio recently... I would really like to know wtf went wrong in his head.
 
2012-06-11 09:32:28 AM

Egoy3k:
I used to stop if they seemed normal looking. The problem is you can't see mental illness.
I don't stop anymore. Nothing happened to change my attitude but I don't do much long distance driving without my wife anymore and no matter how innocent someone looks I'm not letting them into the car with my wife.


I still pick them up. Like I said, there's a lot of them out west. And I have my dog with me, who would chew the face off of anyone who tried to mess with me, even though she's pretty mellow.

I look for what they have with them--if they have really crappy stuff, they're probably not a good bet. They're people who've been thrown out of somewhere, are grifters, or are so mental that they can't get it together even enough to get a sleeping bag and decide where to go. If they have camping gear, a decent backpack, stuff like that, they're just travelers who are usually pretty interesting and decent people. They're going somewhere and won't try to get money from you or get you to take them home with you.

Their personal appearance isn't much of an indication of anything, since a lot of hippies hitch-hike, and you can get pretty scruffy-looking after a few days on the road, no matter how clean you might normally be.

If they have nothing, they're locals. Pick them up. They probably ran out of gas or their car broke down or they just don't have transportation for some reason.

/I wouldn't bet your life on this advice. But I do mine.
// and I could die on a car accident tomorrow too.
 
2012-06-11 09:43:01 AM
 
2012-06-11 09:52:58 AM
bearcats1983: Do people still pick up hitchhikers? I always associate it with the 60s and 70s. I'll occassionally see them on road trips, but it's never crossed my mind to stop. Maybe I've seen too many movies, but I'd assume the guy was crazy or an axe murderer.

I picked up some guys a a few years back in a tremendous farking blizzard a mile or so past where their car had broken down. They just wanted to make it to the gas station off the next exit, but they only lived a few miles further in the direction I was going, so i just brought them home. I legitimately didn't think they were gonna survive the stretch to the gas station, I mean it was a white-out of frozen mix and high winds and low temps. I had at the time a large, metal, combo-locked laptop case. I figured even if they wanted to try and grab it and run, they weren't gonna be making good time in the snow lugging 20lbs of bulk.
 
2012-06-11 10:01:53 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: ShannonKW: Ablejack: That any idiot in this country can have a firearm is the stupidest idea.

Any idiot can vote, and in the long run those that do cause far more damage than idiots with guns. An idiot who is served by battalions of armed and trained non-idiots is incomparably more dangerous than a mere armed idiot.

So, no, it' not the stupidest idea.

WTF am I reading here.
So a nation of armed idiots is supposed to be protection against a battalion of non-idiots led by an idiot? How about a professional Army led by an idiot like we have now? Doesn't seem to make a difference. Please parse this nonsense so it makes sense in this context. If you understand context.


You fail at reading comprehension.
 
2012-06-11 10:03:55 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Chapter 1

WTF was I thinking?


milk - nose - laptop

/classic
 
2012-06-11 10:19:57 AM
*blink* another novel about walking across the country. The last one I read, the guy was walking in the 60's or 70's and his dog got shot in a small town because everyone wanted the "Reveneur" aka the author/cross-country walker out of their town.
 
2012-06-11 10:23:45 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Well, he found the real America.


"Good morning America how are you?
Don't you know me I'm your native son? (BANG)
I'm the guy who tried to hitchhike 'cross Montana,
I'll be down three pints of blood 'fore the day is done."

 
2012-06-11 10:24:46 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: WTF am I reading here.
So a nation of armed idiots is supposed to be protection against a battalion of non-idiots led by an idiot? How about a professional Army led by an idiot like we have now? Doesn't seem to make a difference. Please parse this nonsense so it makes sense in this context. If you understand context.


I hope I understand the concept of context. I have to teach reading comprehension every semester.

Put in other words I was suggesting sarcastically that foolish leaders elected by foolish voters cause more damage than armed fools acting independently.
 
2012-06-11 10:28:39 AM

Ablejack: That any idiot in this country can have a firearm is the stupidest idea.


Then your entire society is premised on a stupid idea, bub: Freedom minus responsibility.

Howzabout this? Everyone gets a gun, but anyone found guilty of using it criminally is harvested for organs and their entire estate is given to the family of the survivors. Every farking penny.

Along with his family. All killed for medical experiments and all asset-stripped.

Along with everyone in a ten-block radius. Heap of skulls, piles of money and damn, did we just run out of coolers and helicopters? NO U DINT.

Organ crisis averted, and "community standards" are in full effect. Not just one law for all, but really, just one law.

Yep, Attila the Hun is my kind of libertarian.
 
2012-06-11 10:30:18 AM

skinink: I am also writing a book called The Kindness of America. Except my research is being done solely on Fark, where none of you assholes can harm me!


Look behind you.
 
2012-06-11 10:31:44 AM

cwolf20: *blink* another novel about walking across the country. The last one I read, the guy was walking in the 60's or 70's and his dog got shot in a small town because everyone wanted the "Reveneur" aka the author/cross-country walker out of their town.


It's a good thing that it wasn't this guy they tried to run out of town.

chenzhen.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-11 10:35:54 AM

Ablejack: That any idiot in this country can have a firearm is the stupidest idea.


I appreciate the honesty. Sure beats what we have had to listen to from people who believed the same thing but pretended to not understand what was intended by the second amendment.

(changed because they've now been so soundly defeated we almost never hear from them any more)
 
2012-06-11 10:38:27 AM
With this, fark officially needs a SUPER IRONIC tag.
 
2012-06-11 10:43:33 AM

Big_Fat_Liar:
I appreciate the honesty. Sure beats what we have had to listen to from people who believed the same thing but pretended to not understand what was intended by the second amendment.
(changed because they've now been so soundly defeated we almost never hear from them any more)


Funny how we still get to hear ad nauseum from all the gun nuts over how "they're coming to take our guns!" then. It seems that paranoia is a big seller with some people.
 
2012-06-11 10:43:58 AM
That Eustace Conway had the better idea... ride a horse. I think he did that more than a few times, if I remember reading that book right.
 
2012-06-11 10:44:41 AM

jamspoon:
This is what we need to keep in mind. There are more people out there who would help you than there are who would shoot you.


Oh wow, are you serious? You want to big-up America because the people who will help a GSW victim outnumber the people who cause GSW's? That's setting the bar a little low, isn't it?
 
2012-06-11 10:47:12 AM
The shooter probably tried to read an article on that papers mobile site. Made me want to shoot someone. Couldn't even fit the headline between the two huge ad blocks.
 
2012-06-11 10:52:07 AM
"When you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."
I don't think that was meant to be taken literally.
 
2012-06-11 11:02:36 AM

cryinoutloud: Big_Fat_Liar:
I appreciate the honesty. Sure beats what we have had to listen to from people who believed the same thing but pretended to not understand what was intended by the second amendment.
(changed because they've now been so soundly defeated we almost never hear from them any more)

Funny how we still get to hear ad nauseum from all the gun nuts over how "they're coming to take our guns!" then. It seems that paranoia is a big seller with some people.


Oh they still want to disarm people. They just know they've had their arguments totally destroyed in the court of public opinion and the current court. Their hope now is to change the meaning of the Bill of Rights by getting appointees to the Supreme Court that see things the way they do. The last two appointees suit them fine and they're hoping to get a few more just like them. That's all it takes.
 
2012-06-11 12:19:06 PM
headline made me LOL

then i apologized
 
2012-06-11 12:20:32 PM
Picking up hitchiker's is fun. They expect to be raped, so when you try to touch them and aren't up for it, they just politely open the door and tuck and roll out into the road, and I can continue on my way.
 
2012-06-11 12:21:32 PM

JohnnyC: In 1998 I hitchhiked from Michigan to California, to Oregon, back down south to Arizona, east through Texas and then North back up into Michigan. The trip took four and a half months and it was completely worth it. I met a lot of really wonderful people, learned a lot about my country, its people, and of course myself. There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California. A couple of guys in a pickup truck stopped and offered me a ride when I wasn't looking for a ride. They were a little too insistent and when they got a little too close I pulled a knife on them and convinced them to get back in the truck and leave. Which they did, and then I did. Nothing more came of that.

The second time was in Arizona. I stopped in Tempe to visit a couple of hot girls that had moved to Tempe from back home in Michigan. When I arrived there, I was quickly informed I had to leave because one of the girls was hooked up with a heroine dealer and he and his friends were coming over because they heard about me coming there. Apparently the guy wasn't happy about my visit. So I booked it out of there and watched from a safe distance as two cars with seven guys pulled up. None of them looked very friendly and at least one of them had a pistol (saw him put it in the back of his belt before he went into the girls' apartment. There was some yelling and arguing between the girlfriend and her boyfriend, and I could see that was going nowhere fast... so I hitched it up to Flagstaff because I heard it was a cool town (and it was).

A pack of raccoons also tried to steal my crackers once... and a bear burst out of the woods and ran across the road ten feet in front of me... and I got really cold on a mountain one day... but in general... my trip wasn't very dangerous. I didn't get shot, stabbed, robbed, raped, or even assaulted. Even the cops that talked to me along the way were nice to me. People took me to their houses, let me crash on their c ...


Excellent story, thank you
 
2012-06-11 12:58:06 PM
PLOT TWIST
 
2012-06-11 01:30:30 PM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: JohnnyC: \There was only two points along the trip that were a bit dodgy.

The first was near Redwood, California.

There's something seriously wrong with that part of the world. Like hills-have-eyes wrong.


One of the two guys had maybe a dozen facial hairs and they were all about 5 inches long. They looked more like random whiskers than any kind of beard/goatee/mustache... I'll never forget those scraggly few hairs sticking out of his face. Heck, it was one of the things that clued me into the fact that those two guys were not going to be a good scene.

Mark Ratner: Cool story, brah. Sounds like a more exciting version of, "Into the Wild." And with a happier ending.


Well yeah... I saw that movie. It reminded me a lot of my trip... not exactly, but it hit a lot of the same kind of notes. That guy didn't know when to quit though. I knew better than to try keep going through the winter. I extended the trip a bit by heading south as the weather got colder, but winter was catching me anyway, so I decided the trip was done and I headed back to Michigan to familiar stomping grounds. Of course, it gets cold in Michigan too, but I had friends and family here.

The closest I came to that kind of situation (starving in the woods) was in King's Canyon. It's this huge national park in California that didn't have roads going through it. I ran out of food in there and had to do a little fishing, trapping, and gathering to put food in my belly. It was a little scary, but really satisfying and exciting too.
 
2012-06-11 01:33:46 PM
I picked up a hitchiker a few months ago and he was on mushrooms. He lived in the woods a couple hundred yards off the road (or so he said) and made his living selling shrooms. True story bro.
 
2012-06-11 01:34:30 PM

cryinoutloud: Funny how we still get to hear ad nauseum from all the gun nuts over how "they're coming to take our guns!" then.


You mean the Brady Center, National Gun Victim's Action Council, Coalition to Stop Gun Violence and Violence Policy Center have all ceased operation?

Not quite. True, they are now limited to doing thing like boycotting Starbucks, but that does not mean that the issue is going to go away. Always need to keep alert.
 
2012-06-11 01:44:47 PM
I've traveled across the United States a couple times. Most folks just mind their own business, a few will chat or help you, and of course there is also a portion that will try to hurt/injury/steal from you.

It's just part of current human civilization. It was never better in some previous era.
 
2012-06-11 04:09:28 PM

MAYORBOB: With this, fark officially needs a SUPER IRONIC tag.


So, is that like 20,000 spoons when all you need is a knife?
 
2012-06-11 05:26:14 PM

HeadLever: True, they are now limited to doing thing like boycotting Starbucks, but that does not mean that the issue is going to go away. Always need to keep alert.


Yes, that sounds like it really requires vigilance. Armed and ready! They can take our lattes, but they can't take our dignity!

I love how somebody got shot for no reason, but the gun-toting psychos are the REAL victims.

/eyeroll
 
2012-06-11 05:51:37 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: skinink: I am also writing a book called The Kindness of America. Except my research is being done solely on Fark, where none of you assholes can harm me!

Right the hell on. I totally agree. Let's meet up for a beer. I'll email you the address. I know this great little bar that has an "abandoned frozen burrito factory" as a theme. When you get about 1/4 of a mile away, shut off your headlights. When you're standing adjacent to the entrance, you'll see a hole in the bottom of the fence that you could probably squeeze under but DON'T. Go around the back and hop the fence where the barbed wire has be cut. It's tough to miss so just keep looking. You'll see it. Under a rock next to the backdoor you'll find a blindfold and a sharpie. Put the blindfold on and mark an 'X' on your forehead. It doesn't need to be perfect, it's totally casual LOL! Knock on the door three times. When you hear three knocks in return you'll answer, "The dog needs a toy." And that's it! We'll party all night and I'm totally not going to so anything creepy to you. That's for sure.


It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

/Yes, it will, Precious, won't it?
 
2012-06-11 06:39:24 PM

supageil: Yes, that sounds like it really requires vigilance.


Yep. These groups are not going away, neither are 'we'. Even though I am not as parinoid as many NRA higher-ups, we all need to get used to it. The fearmongering is needed to bring in money. This applies to both sides. Just recognize that about 2/3rds of it is BS and you will do just fine.
 
2012-06-11 06:48:14 PM

doglover: If you are guilty, get a lawyer before you say ANYTHING.


FTFY.

Even if you're innocent, you can only incriminate yourself further by talking to the police during interrogations. Everyone's a suspect, and phrases like, "but you told police that..." will haunt you--especially if you're stressed out and accidentally say something you didn't mean to say or accidentally got backwards. All cops are notaries public, and anything you say to them is, for all intents and purposes, set in stone.
 
2012-06-12 12:51:25 AM
Wait, I'm confused. Is this the sequel to Grizzly Man?
 
Displayed 110 of 110 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report