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(Gizmodo)   12. Damn, the girl next door is HOT What are they feeding the kids in elementary school these days?   (gizmodo.com) divider line 104
    More: Obvious, Facebook, personal message, elementary schools, manned mission to Mars, damn  
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24316 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Jun 2012 at 4:53 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-10 01:49:57 PM  
While some valid points are brought up, I'm also willing to bet no one wants the author as a friend, facebook or otherwise.

It's their facebook account, their posts, unsubscribe from them if it bothers you so much.
 
2012-06-10 02:01:14 PM  
So... use Facebook to keep in touch, but don't actually keep in touch while doing so. Got it.
 
2012-06-10 02:06:20 PM  
13) No "Like this photo if..."
14) think twice before posting about politics or abortion
15) daily or hourly religious affirmations

Seriously? Engagements and college admissions are totally appropriate to share, it seems the author is pissed at people calling attention to themselves, isn't that 90% of what Facebook is about?
 
2012-06-10 02:06:54 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: So... use Facebook to keep in touch, but don't actually keep in touch while doing so. Got it.


Exactly, the author of that seemed like a bigger douche than most folks on FB
Also missing is polititcs I am fairly liberal but i avoid posting politics because i work in a small town and dont want to piss off potential customers
 
2012-06-10 02:07:15 PM  
13. Maaaaan I hate my job/school! My boss/teacher is a total $%%^#. At least I can spend all day slacking on Facebook instead of working.
 
2012-06-10 02:11:51 PM  
"Please never use Facebook to inform your friends or relatives about any major changes in your life. That would come off as rude."
 
2012-06-10 02:13:30 PM  
"nobody cares how much weight you benched or how many miles you ran". Author sounds fat.
I really appreciate seeing my friends post their accomplishments.
 
2012-06-10 02:18:53 PM  

serial_crusher: "nobody cares how much weight you benched or how many miles you ran". Author sounds fat.
I really appreciate seeing my friends post their accomplishments.


Well he did mention that posting a picture of a cake is one of the few things you can do on Facebook that is okay by him, so it's pretty likely.
 
2012-06-10 02:33:47 PM  
I'm not a big Facebook fan, but the author needs to get a life.
 
2012-06-10 02:38:24 PM  
...that or you get a FB account to share your Fark related material, and other for family and business contacts...
 
2012-06-10 02:40:56 PM  
If nobody posted these 11 things, then nobody would post on Facebook.
 
2012-06-10 02:51:47 PM  
I wonder how many Farkers have created an alt because their boss might bust them in a thread?

Deep thoughts...
 
2012-06-10 03:06:09 PM  

whidbey: I wonder how many Farkers have created an alt because their boss might bust them in a thread?

Deep thoughts...


Mebbe one or two. But then again, there's private Fark groups on FB so the REALLY kooky postings are at least sort of kept out of the regular checking.

Not so much if your spouse or buddies are reading over your shoulder though...
 
2012-06-10 03:17:30 PM  

serial_crusher: "nobody cares how much weight you benched or how many miles you ran". Author sounds fat.
I really appreciate seeing my friends post their accomplishments.


I just posted this comment.

Aren't you glad for me?!?!?!

/jeesh
 
2012-06-10 03:34:24 PM  

serial_crusher: "nobody cares how much weight you benched or how many miles you ran". Author sounds fat.
I really appreciate seeing my friends post their accomplishments.


I do, too. Let's see, one of my friends just posted about hiking in the Grand Canyon. I definitely think that's cool. I'm also proud of a few friends of mine who were overweight when I knew them in college but have since slimmed down due to jogging and biking--one of them even ran a marathon, which would have been unthinkable 50 pounds ago. The author sounds like someone whose Facebook "friends" aren't even friends, so (s)he's jealous of rather than happy for them.

CommieTaoist: Seriously? Engagements and college admissions are totally appropriate to share.


This, too. Facebook is great for announcing major things like that. It makes meeting up with old friends and attending family functions that much easier because you can avoid the embarrassment of bringing up an ex-boy/girlfriend, a job that they no longer have, or that school they wanted to get into but didn't.
 
2012-06-10 03:39:43 PM  
sharpiron.files.wordpress.com

Click like if you believe in Him. Ignore if you reject Him.


Like/Share begging is the crap that makes me want to scream, not someone posting that they are engaged or graduated or whatever...
 
2012-06-10 03:55:29 PM  
Other gems from this guy:

"Five ways a comment section should never be used."
1. Commenting on a page. Honestly, now. Someone worked very hard to write something. Now you just come in and act like your opinion matters.
2. Agreeing with the page. If you agree with the page, a simple "like" or "share" will do nicely. Any more than that, and it just comes off like an opinion echo chamber.
3. Disagreeing with the page. How would you like it if someone told you that you were wrong? It's just bad manners.
4. Replying to other posts. This article is about me. And my opinions and beliefs. How dare you act like other people exist?
5. Recommending similar sites. You guys, seriously. Seriously. Guys.

"Four things you should never use a car for"
1. Getting from place to place. It's just showing off to the people with no licenses.
2. Transporting friends. To anyone who looks in the window, it's just saying, "look how many friends I have."
3. Sitting. It makes you come off as lazy.
4. Moving items. You're just bragging about the stuff you bought.

"Five things to avoid doing with your smartphone"
1. Making phone calls. It's not only an outdated method of communication, but it just makes you look like a showoff. Ooh, wow. Someone actually wants to hear from me.
2. Playing games. You might think you're having fun, but you're hurting someone's feelings. Some of us blog for a living and can't afford 99 cents for a game.
3. Texting. If you really cared enough about someone to write out a message, you'd send an email. Your 160 character limit just makes you come off as terse.
4. Looking up information. Sure, you think you're just finding out when the next showing of some movie is. But you're being a know-it-all.
5. Listening to music. Take out those earbuds. If I can't listen to music on my phone, neither should you.


Clearly this writer is a sensitive artiste.
 
2012-06-10 04:03:16 PM  
Clearly, the author is trolling.
 
2012-06-10 04:04:37 PM  
Well looks like you guys got this.

/likes the exercise and engagement announcements but loves the baby pics the best
 
2012-06-10 04:10:11 PM  

NuttierThanEver: The My Little Pony Killer: So... use Facebook to keep in touch, but don't actually keep in touch while doing so. Got it.

Exactly, the author of that seemed like a bigger douche than most folks on FB
Also missing is polititcs I am fairly liberal but i avoid posting politics because i work in a small town and dont want to piss off potential customers


Now that's good advice for pretty much any social situation.
 
2012-06-10 04:40:11 PM  

GreenAdder: Other gems from this guy:

"Five ways a comment section should never be used."
1. Commenting on a page. Honestly, now. Someone worked very hard to write something. Now you just come in and act like your opinion matters.
2. Agreeing with the page. If you agree with the page, a simple "like" or "share" will do nicely. Any more than that, and it just comes off like an opinion echo chamber.
3. Disagreeing with the page. How would you like it if someone told you that you were wrong? It's just bad manners.
4. Replying to other posts. This article is about me. And my opinions and beliefs. How dare you act like other people exist?
5. Recommending similar sites. You guys, seriously. Seriously. Guys.

"Four things you should never use a car for"
1. Getting from place to place. It's just showing off to the people with no licenses.
2. Transporting friends. To anyone who looks in the window, it's just saying, "look how many friends I have."
3. Sitting. It makes you come off as lazy.
4. Moving items. You're just bragging about the stuff you bought.

"Five things to avoid doing with your smartphone"
1. Making phone calls. It's not only an outdated method of communication, but it just makes you look like a showoff. Ooh, wow. Someone actually wants to hear from me.
2. Playing games. You might think you're having fun, but you're hurting someone's feelings. Some of us blog for a living and can't afford 99 cents for a game.
3. Texting. If you really cared enough about someone to write out a message, you'd send an email. Your 160 character limit just makes you come off as terse.
4. Looking up information. Sure, you think you're just finding out when the next showing of some movie is. But you're being a know-it-all.
5. Listening to music. Take out those earbuds. If I can't listen to music on my phone, neither should you.


Clearly this writer is a sensitive artiste.


lol
 
2012-06-10 04:53:01 PM  
I don't know, I kind of agree with the article. I don't even use Facebook but I do have an account and I get an email whenever someone's little snowflake does something adorable that they have to post. I mean they're my friends and everything but I never knew them to be so self absorbed. But I'm not a dick about it. The problem might be that a lot of people have dozens of "friends" on Facebook that are really just casual acquaintances and don't care about your recent breakup with that Vegas hooker. Unless there are pics.
 
2012-06-10 05:02:07 PM  
I work for Mark Zuckerberg and am getting a real kick out of this thread.
 
2012-06-10 05:03:22 PM  
People wish you happy birthday and Im the asshole if I thank them for it?
 
2012-06-10 05:05:17 PM  
12. Dude I so totally ripped off this guys stuff. Heres the video
 
2012-06-10 05:05:52 PM  
That more or less sums up the true nature of social media. People don't use it because they want to know what you are up to. They don't give a fark, and they find your life and thoughts stupid and annoying. All they really want is for you to be the captive audience to their own stupid life and thoughts.
 
2012-06-10 05:09:21 PM  

serial_crusher: "nobody cares how much weight you benched or how many miles you ran". Author sounds fat.
I really appreciate seeing my friends post their accomplishments.


When my friends post their latest cycling feat, it often helps motivate me to get out and ride myself.
 
2012-06-10 05:18:03 PM  
Honestly, the only thing to really keep in mind when posting on facebook is this: potential employers are looking at Facebook now. Because they know that the person they interview is not going to be the person they actually hire. So to get to know the real you, they check out your Facebook page. If it's full of religious affirmations, negativity and/or posts about getting drunk, stoned or how many guys you blew last night in the glory hole, potential employers are going to see that.

At my last job, and current job, I never friended the boss. My coworkers did/have. I even had a new supervisor who on day one sent us all facebook friend requests. I was the only one to reject the friend request. I told her that I had just met her, so I felt that it was too soon to count her as a friend. She went through everyone else's Facebook pages, learned about them and used what she learned about them as ammo to explain why they should be working late and not going home on time. "I don't care that it's Friday, all you're going to do is go to the bar and get drunk with your friends, wouldn't your time be more productive here, doing work and earning money?"
 
2012-06-10 05:21:34 PM  

Great Janitor: Honestly, the only thing to really keep in mind when posting on facebook is this: potential employers are looking at Facebook now


So what if you don't have any activity on Facebook besides your profile that doesn't say anything and whatever inane ramblings your "friends" put out? Does that look suspicious nowadays?
 
kab
2012-06-10 05:25:32 PM  
This stuff has no place on Timeline, because Timeline is beautiful.

And at this point, we realize that the author was dropped on his head as a child. Timeline is a perfect example of a gui clusterfark, and whoever created it should be punched in the throat repeatedly.

Either way, it's a LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME move.

Uhh, posting ANYTHING there falls into that category, dipshiat.
 
2012-06-10 05:26:48 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: So... use Facebook to keep in touch, but don't actually keep in touch while doing so. Got it.


My Facebook status every day from now until forever should just say, "Things happened in my life today. More details to follow in personal messages or texts to all of you." I think that was the author's point.
 
2012-06-10 05:26:49 PM  
If I sent a FB message to a random actress from a commercial and got a cool non-generic personal response, how would I go about responding to that in a way that gets additional responses?

Despite what this writer thinks, I believe Facebook should be used to try and pick up hot chicks from commercials.
 
2012-06-10 05:30:18 PM  
What really got me was this:

FTFA: Helpful: letting everyone know you can't be reached by phone because you dropped it in a toilet or it fell off a cliff or whatever. Cool, we'll know to hit you via email instead. Not helpful: asking that everyone send you their phone numbers because you lost your phone and can't be bothered to actually ask us personally. Losing your phone is actually a great excuse to rebuild your phone book with people you truly care about! If you can't remember who to ask, odds are you don't need to be calling or texting those people anymore.

REALLY? So when I lose my phone, I'm supposed to call up all my friends (with someone else's phone), or hunt down their email addresses in my inbox or their facebook pages, and notify them individually that I lost my phone and I need their number? And even then, I'm only supposed to contact people I really extra special super-duper care about? Isn't it just a good idea in general to have as many of your "friends'" phone numbers as possible, just in case? It's not like you have to carry them around engraved in stone or anything. That phone will hold a few hundred contacts just fine.

Douchey author is douchey.
 
2012-06-10 05:33:09 PM  

bulldg4life: If I sent a FB message to a random actress from a commercial and got a cool non-generic personal response, how would I go about responding to that in a way that gets additional responses?

Despite what this writer thinks, I believe Facebook should be used to try and pick up hot chicks from commercials.


Leave Flo alone.
 
2012-06-10 05:33:41 PM  

Erzsebetvwv: My Facebook status every day from now until forever should just say, "Things happened in my life today. More details to follow in personal messages or texts to all of you." I think that was the author's point.


Yeah, you said it better than I did.
 
2012-06-10 05:34:28 PM  
This douchebag author hates birthdays, engagement and college acceptance? My guess is that
1. He's not got many real world friends,
2. He's single (with a personality like that, how could it be!),
3. He had to go to his safety school while all his friends went to universities with accredidation.

You know what he didn't mention? 12: Don't Keep Posting About How You're Going to Delete Your Facebook Account.
Because if he did that he would be a hypocrite
 
2012-06-10 05:35:15 PM  
join the church of roisinism. that is all.
 
2012-06-10 05:35:27 PM  

RexTalionis: If nobody posted these 11 things, then nobody would post on Facebook.


Except for the "I bet 99% of you won't spam this useless piece of pseudo-intellectualism to all of your "friends"" dumbasses.

/I AM the 99%!
 
2012-06-10 05:37:24 PM  

The Name: What really got me was this:

FTFA: Helpful: letting everyone know you can't be reached by phone because you dropped it in a toilet or it fell off a cliff or whatever. Cool, we'll know to hit you via email instead. Not helpful: asking that everyone send you their phone numbers because you lost your phone and can't be bothered to actually ask us personally. Losing your phone is actually a great excuse to rebuild your phone book with people you truly care about! If you can't remember who to ask, odds are you don't need to be calling or texting those people anymore.

REALLY? So when I lose my phone, I'm supposed to call up all my friends (with someone else's phone), or hunt down their email addresses in my inbox or their facebook pages, and notify them individually that I lost my phone and I need their number? And even then, I'm only supposed to contact people I really extra special super-duper care about? Isn't it just a good idea in general to have as many of your "friends'" phone numbers as possible, just in case? It's not like you have to carry them around engraved in stone or anything. That phone will hold a few hundred contacts just fine.

Douchey author is douchey.


I do have friend that lose their phones too many times. That does get annoying. There should be a limit instead (although most phone services offer phone book back up service)
 
2012-06-10 05:39:07 PM  

IlGreven: RexTalionis: If nobody posted these 11 things, then nobody would post on Facebook.

Except for the "I bet 99% of you won't spam this useless piece of pseudo-intellectualism to all of your "friends"" dumbasses.

/I AM the 99%!


Worse is friends who say "Post this piece of Pseudo-patriotism of you hate the troops!" Last one I saw was a Spammer trying to get people to subscribe to get spammed and with the promise of getting them 2000 followers for the privilege.
 
2012-06-10 05:39:49 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: So... use Facebook to keep in touch, but don't actually keep in touch while doing so. Got it.


Not really. Some were bullshiat, but you really do not need to post 20 times about being engaged. That's just obnoxious.

Also, when someone else has a medical condition or death close to them, posting repeatedly about it to make it about you is ridiculous. Anyone with Facebook has seen those people who make other people's misfortune about them.
 
2012-06-10 05:39:52 PM  
It's not Flo.
 
2012-06-10 05:43:36 PM  

Mugato: Great Janitor: Honestly, the only thing to really keep in mind when posting on facebook is this: potential employers are looking at Facebook now

So what if you don't have any activity on Facebook besides your profile that doesn't say anything and whatever inane ramblings your "friends" put out? Does that look suspicious nowadays?


I wouldn't think anything of it. Probably assume they got that Facebook page just so people would stop pestering him about not having a facebook account. Which is really how mine started. I honestly probably post on it once a month and I had the same profile pic on it for over 2 years. Some people just don't do much social networking. I don't have a twitter account at all.
 
2012-06-10 05:51:31 PM  

Great Janitor: Honestly, the only thing to really keep in mind when posting on facebook is this: potential employers people you may wish to impress are looking at Facebook now.


No matter how terrible they are, if you spend a lot of time on fb biatching about your ex, anyone seeing it will think twice about putting themselves in a position to be your next ex. Christmas dinner could get uncomfortable if you've loudly proclaimed your hatred of the military and you're sitting across rom your fiance's Purple Heart wearing Dad.
Facebook is for telling the world (and presuming the world will see it) what is going on in your life. Don't put anything on there you wouldn't put on a billboard by the interstate.
 
2012-06-10 05:53:02 PM  

Great Janitor: Honestly, the only thing to really keep in mind when posting on facebook is this: potential employers are looking at Facebook now. Because they know that the person they interview is not going to be the person they actually hire. So to get to know the real you, they check out your Facebook page.


I would have thought the best thing to say in an interview situation would be, "I don't have a facebook account but I assume that other people who share my name do," and just leave it at that. Come on, how difficult is that?You're not being interrogated and you don't have to justify what is a personal matter to these people. Answer it, move on.

Great Janitor: I even had a new supervisor who on day one sent us all facebook friend requests. I was the only one to reject the friend request. I told her that I had just met her, so I felt that it was too soon to count her as a friend. She went through everyone else's Facebook pages, learned about them and used what she learned about them as ammo to explain why they should be working late and not going home on time.


And you were damn right not to friend her. Especially as nowadays once one colleague is friended your stuff will spill over to other colleagues out of your control by virtue of the frictionless sharing concept. If people feel pressured enough that they have to friend-up colleagues, then they should make a brand new one for colleagues only!. It's not difficult really.

...but I think the problem here is that nobody's just told this entitled coont of a supervisor to just fark off out of their private life. Although I reckon you've probably come pretty close! What business is it of hers how you choose to spend your spare time? Your colleagues (alas, much like my own) need to grow a pair and assert their basic humanity.
 
2012-06-10 05:54:23 PM  

Erzsebetvwv: The My Little Pony Killer: So... use Facebook to keep in touch, but don't actually keep in touch while doing so. Got it.

My Facebook status every day from now until forever should just say, "Things happened in my life today. More details to follow in personal messages or texts to all of you." I think that was the author's point.


This is some funny stuff. I am stealing it and using it. Now. Really.
 
2012-06-10 05:57:23 PM  
There are several things my Facebook friends regularly do that I can't stand.

- Try to be a stand-up comedian. "Man, it's so tough to work out and eat ice cream at the same time."
- Work out Warriors. "Ran 2.7 miles, feeling good. Boy does that make me better than all of you. Maybe I'll do another mile tomorrow morning and post about that as well."
- Divas. "Here's a picture of me I took for no reason. Now I'll just wait until several of my friends tell me how beautiful I am."
- Mysterious Drama Queens. "Boy, guess I know who my friends are, huh? No, I'm not going to post anything more to give this any context at all. Because what I'm mad at is stupid and meaningless, but if I make the post vague it will make it seem interesting."
- Life Sucks Guy. "Here's something about my life that sucks, let me share with all of you. If there's nothing about my life that sucks, I'll post about some major world problem or event that is sad and/or horrible and I'll basically wonder aloud what's wrong with the world."
 
2012-06-10 06:03:02 PM  
12. Linking to ridiculous articles you authored...

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-10 06:10:27 PM  

Great Janitor: I wouldn't think anything of it. Probably assume they got that Facebook page just so people would stop pestering him about not having a facebook account. Which is really how mine started. I honestly probably post on it once a month and I had the same profile pic on it for over 2 years. Some people just don't do much social networking. I don't have a twitter account at all.


I farking can't stand Twitter. And it's not like I'm a technophobe. I'm a software developer and video editor. And I use the GPS on my phone all the time. Say you're in a strange town and need to find a dildo, you go to "places" on your phone and type "dildo" and you get a list and directions to all the dildo retailers within the radius you determine. So I love technology. But the trendy internet shiat gets annoying.
 
2012-06-10 06:12:51 PM  

jayhawk88: There are several things my Facebook friends regularly do that I can't stand.

- Try to be a stand-up comedian. "Man, it's so tough to work out and eat ice cream at the same time."
- Work out Warriors. "Ran 2.7 miles, feeling good. Boy does that make me better than all of you. Maybe I'll do another mile tomorrow morning and post about that as well."
- Divas. "Here's a picture of me I took for no reason. Now I'll just wait until several of my friends tell me how beautiful I am."
- Mysterious Drama Queens. "Boy, guess I know who my friends are, huh? No, I'm not going to post anything more to give this any context at all. Because what I'm mad at is stupid and meaningless, but if I make the post vague it will make it seem interesting."
- Life Sucks Guy. "Here's something about my life that sucks, let me share with all of you. If there's nothing about my life that sucks, I'll post about some major world problem or event that is sad and/or horrible and I'll basically wonder aloud what's wrong with the world."


I have no problem with the stand up comedian, provided he's not stealing my jokes and what is being posted is actually funny.

Work out warriors don't bother me, mostly. I have one facebook friend that is a Work out warrior and her posts bother me, not because of her work out, but because her work out posts point out what a great and rich area of town she lives in and each jog is logged into a facebook post complete with every pretentious thing she can point out about her neighborhood.

Drama Queens make me feel good. Remember, when it comes to your problems, 20% of people have worse problems and don't care, and 80% are glad that they don't have your problems. Drama queens fall into that 80%

The Life Sucks Guy also doesn't bother me because when I feel bad, I pull up his posts, read about this sucky life, and suddenly, I feel great.
 
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