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(Mirror.co.uk)   When 69-year-old man turns up begging for help to remove ring-shaped object from his genitals, rescue crews initially plan to use four-inch angle grinder   ( mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, Manchester Evening News, genitals, objects, angle grinder  
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10128 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jun 2012 at 10:24 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-06-10 04:55:34 AM  
Had they merely shoved an ice cube up his ass and showed him a picture of subby's mom, it'd have been over in three seconds.
 
2012-06-10 07:31:30 AM  
It's called a cock ring. And this is why you don't use solid metal rings.
 
2012-06-10 08:49:54 AM  
i3.mirror.co.uk

penis goes where?
 
2012-06-10 10:26:27 AM  
This is why you use a rubber cock ring you dolt
 
2012-06-10 10:28:29 AM  
I wonder if he got it at the Cock Ring Warehouse.

Do they have one in the UK?
 
2012-06-10 10:29:29 AM  
"Well, . . . it was the only tool we had."

i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-10 10:32:43 AM  
Wasn't this an episode of Rescue Me?
 
2012-06-10 10:33:03 AM  
I'd think that a dremel tool would have been more suitable and safer.
 
2012-06-10 10:33:06 AM  
They were gonna use the Jaws of Life, but your mom wasn't available.
 
2012-06-10 10:33:10 AM  
4" grinder.. that's a euphamism right?
 
2012-06-10 10:33:56 AM  
A grinder would have heated the metal and burnt his johnson. Not that I know from personal experience...
 
2012-06-10 10:35:19 AM  

gilatrout: I'd think that a dremel tool would have been more suitable and safer.


A Dremel is next to useless on anything more solid than aluminium.
 
2012-06-10 10:35:53 AM  

Bob Down: 4" grinder.. that's a euphamism right?


Check this out... Link

My biggest worry would be the heat generated... you'll need lots of lubrication to reduce the friction while it's cutting.
 
2012-06-10 10:38:15 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com

ouch
 
2012-06-10 10:39:04 AM  

wambu: "Well, . . . it was the only tool we had."

[i.imgur.com image 203x300]


Came for AGM. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-06-10 10:40:10 AM  
i.ytimg.com

Feels his pain.
 
2012-06-10 10:40:38 AM  
Hilarious! I haven't stopped laughing! I've shared this story with several friends who have shared it on and so on... well, it made my day, I know it made his hole weak!!
 
2012-06-10 10:40:57 AM  

Oldiron_79: This is why you use a rubber cock ring you dolt


Yes, but are the rubber ones dishwasher-safe?
 
2012-06-10 10:41:09 AM  

MFAWG: gilatrout: I'd think that a dremel tool would have been more suitable and safer.

A Dremel is next to useless on anything more solid than aluminium.


And when it jumps off of what ever you are cutting, it zips across anything it touches. Unless they put some kind of little barrier in the path of it, I think I would have just filled the bathtub with ice water and sat in it first.
 
2012-06-10 10:42:52 AM  
if you can still play with your favorite pull toy at age 69 more power to you.
 
2012-06-10 10:44:54 AM  
It's called a "ring cutter":

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=ring+cutter&hl=en&prmd=imvns & resnum=2&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=649&um=1&ie=U TF-8&tbm=shop&cid=16492290000757165105&sa=X&ei=eLLUT52WFsrO2AWN7pXADw& ved=0CJMBEPMCMAA

I think every ER has one...at least I hope so.
 
2012-06-10 10:47:57 AM  
Gough: It's called a "ring cutter":

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=ring+cutter&hl=en&prmd=imvns & resnum=2&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=649&um=1&ie=U TF-8&tbm=shop&cid=16492290000757165105&sa=X&ei=eLLUT52WFsrO2AWN7pXADw& ved=0CJMBEPMCMAA

I think every ER has one...at least I hope so.


Or they could just call in a urologist with a 14ga 3.25in Angiocatheter for "Special Placement" to drain out the corpus cavernosum and remove the ring the "natural" way.
 
2012-06-10 10:48:06 AM  
This looks like a job, for COCKNOCKER!

vnmedia.ign.com
 
2012-06-10 10:48:22 AM  
I had a ring stuck on my dick once, but subby's mom sucked it right off.
 
2012-06-10 10:50:28 AM  
wellreadneck: Oldiron_79: This is why you use a rubber cock ring you dolt

Yes, but are the rubber ones dishwasher-safe?


Depending on brand they are usually top shelf dishwasher safe
 
2012-06-10 11:11:28 AM  

BronyMedic: Gough: It's called a "ring cutter":

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=ring+cutter&hl=en&prmd=imvns & resnum=2&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1024&bih=649&um=1&ie=U TF-8&tbm=shop&cid=16492290000757165105&sa=X&ei=eLLUT52WFsrO2AWN7pXADw& ved=0CJMBEPMCMAA

I think every ER has one...at least I hope so.

Or they could just call in a urologist with a 14ga 3.25in Angiocatheter for "Special Placement" to drain out the corpus cavernosum and remove the ring the "natural" way.


Now we are getting into things that are indeed causing shrinkage. Fortunately there's no cockring to remove.
 
2012-06-10 11:17:37 AM  
bim1154: Now we are getting into things that are indeed causing shrinkage. Fortunately there's no cockring to remove.

You know how they say "If you have an errection for 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention"?

That's the medical attention.
 
2012-06-10 11:20:10 AM  
How stuck could it be? A little lubricant and I'd think it would slide right off...
 
2012-06-10 11:22:46 AM  
This thread is precious.
 
2012-06-10 11:27:55 AM  
Could have had IT removed in no time.

cdn01.cdnwp.thefrisky.com
 
2012-06-10 11:35:06 AM  

Oldiron_79: wellreadneck: Oldiron_79: This is why you use a rubber cock ring you dolt

Yes, but are the rubber ones dishwasher-safe?

Depending on brand they are usually top shelf dishwasher safe


Actually, that snarky question was a reference to what I consider a humorous story. Years ago, a friend from North Carolina, of all places, was visiting myself and a group of other ex-patriot southern queens up North. After a brunch of mint juleps, mimosas, and bloody marys in honor of the occasion, we took a stagger through the gay village. As we passed one of the local slap palaces, our guest informed us that he had promised to purchase a dildo for a "friend". Of course, the entire gaggle of gays insisted on helping with his purchase. While perusing the selection, I commented on the price difference between seemingly identical dicks. The clerk explained, to a chorus of giggles, that the more expensive were indeed "top-shelf, dishwasher safe". One friend questioned what was so funny, stating that that was, in fact, how he cleaned his. Another friend, thought to lack a gag reflex, muttered "But I had dinner at your house last weekend", then vomitted copiously on the floor.

creepy story bro.
 
2012-06-10 11:38:41 AM  
How are rings on male genitals supposed to be a sex aid?
 
2012-06-10 11:41:06 AM  

dkendr: Had they merely shoved an ice cube up his ass and showed him a picture of subby's mom, it'd have been over in three seconds.


YOU MADE ME SHOOT COFFEE OUT OF MY NOSE...That is hilarious!!!
 
2012-06-10 11:43:53 AM  
Need help, soonish.
 
2012-06-10 11:51:05 AM  
Of course he signed the waiver, they had him by the b**ls.
 
2012-06-10 11:51:38 AM  
It is thought the firefighters involved were offered counselling following the incident.

Not cut from the same cloth as our firefighters in America, huh.
 
2012-06-10 11:52:12 AM  
I once had to have a cheap ring removed from my FINGER and went to a jeweler who used a small, hand cranked cutter. Pretty cool, really, a slotted curved end slid under the ring, then he squeezed a tiny circular blade down on the metal and turned a T shaped crank attached to it.

When it cut through, the saw teeth rested in the slot. Didn't even charge me, though he worked up a bit of a sweat since the ring was brass.

You'd think an ER would have a couple of those things.

I had to cut a class ring off myself when, after a couple of decades of being worn, it wouldn't come off. I used a Dremel cutting tool set to low speed and it did the job quickly and easily. The last cut made it thin enough to use needle nosed pliers to break the band so I never even touched skin with the blade.

One of those might just be handy in an ER also.

I mean, folks are forever getting assorted body parts stuck in things. They tend to get a tad nervous when you haul out an industrial grinder designed to cut through steel plate.

BTW. PSA here: DON'T use metal cock rings. The plastic or rubber ones are just fine and easier to remove if they get 'stuck'.
 
2012-06-10 11:55:54 AM  
Rik01: BTW. PSA here: DON'T use metal cock rings. The plastic or rubber ones are just fine and easier to remove if they get 'stuck'.

Fun fact: The Metal and Steel Cockrings cannot be removed by a ring saw. They use a dremel tool, or have a urologist do the aformentioned prick of the prick.
 
2012-06-10 11:57:48 AM  
img.search.com
 
2012-06-10 12:01:31 PM  
I bet he was thinking, "Its OK if I get freaky and apply this ring-shaped object to my genitals, no one will ever know but me."

Thirty six hours later the entire ER staff at the local hospital and the entire local fire department had a chance to see it, and the incident has been reported in an international on line paper.
 
2012-06-10 12:03:20 PM  
FFS, go see the newest disposable, battery enhanced toys that Trojan and KY are putting on the market. Some are pink with little vibrating flames and some glow in the dark.

Or so I've heard.
 
2012-06-10 12:23:38 PM  
Cooling cream was applied to the area? I thought creaming in that area got him into this mess in the first place.
 
2012-06-10 12:27:24 PM  

BronyMedic: Rik01: BTW. PSA here: DON'T use metal cock rings. The plastic or rubber ones are just fine and easier to remove if they get 'stuck'.

Fun fact: The Metal and Steel Cockrings cannot be removed by a ring saw. They use a dremel tool, or have a urologist do the aformentioned prick of the prick.


Thanks for reminding me. I recall reading about people who choose harder-than-usual materials for wedding rings (e.g titanium) who had accidents and needed to have the rings removed: same problem.
 
2012-06-10 12:42:08 PM  
i.ytimg.com
"Who's ready for a sliced cockmeat sandwich?"
 
2012-06-10 01:24:27 PM  
"but Beyonce said if you like it you should put a ring on it..."
 
2012-06-10 01:42:44 PM  
oyster.ignimgs.com

Well, did he cum, or what??
 
2012-06-10 01:55:54 PM  
Riki01: I once had to have a cheap ring removed from my FINGER and went to a jeweler who used a small, hand cranked cutter. Pretty cool, really, a slotted curved end slid under the ring...]snip]...You'd think an ER would have a couple of those things.

I once went to the ER to get this done (wedding band + swollen hand + had gained weight over the years, hence tighter fit of ring), and they had one of these cutters--exactly what was needed!

And, lo and behold, anyone can now buy one on Amazon for less than $20:

Link
 
2012-06-10 02:05:55 PM  

Gough: I recall reading about people who choose harder-than-usual materials for wedding rings (e.g titanium) who had accidents and needed to have the rings removed: same problem.


t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-06-10 03:16:59 PM  

BronyMedic: Rik01: BTW. PSA here: DON'T use metal cock rings. The plastic or rubber ones are just fine and easier to remove if they get 'stuck'.

Fun fact: The Metal and Steel Cockrings cannot be removed by a ring saw. They use a dremel tool, or have a urologist do the aformentioned prick of the prick.


Sounds like a war story that needs telling...

Never had a call for a cock ring. But right out of school, my first two shootings were to penises. In a two month period. Capped it off to being called out for worms in a vagina...
 
2012-06-10 03:29:57 PM  
FTA: It is thought the firefighters involved were offered counselling following the incident.
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
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