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Lost_in_Oregon: 12349876: ph0rk: You already live in an HOA if you live in a town or city or county or state. Eminent domain.

They can condemn your house too, though the governments standards are generally much, much lower than an HOA.

HOAs do not have such power, they cannot take your property for their use. A city can take it, but never heard of one doing it without trying to negotiate first, plus the usual reason is streets, sidewalks, roundabouts, etc.

Maybe you mean easements.

I wasn't talking road building type condemnation, I was talking about condemnation when you let your house get into such a shiatty condition that it is unsafe and if you let that happen to your house the government will come after you and kick you out. Like this article. "'Unsafe to occupy': Apartments condemned due to mold" http://www.tahoedailytribune.com/article/20060629/NEWS/106290041

And the point about HOA's was they will start biatching at you about a shiatty house long before the government generally speaking.

Ed Willy: How come we never hear of the Tea Party opposing HOAs? I can't think of a more obnoxious group that makes such bullshiat rules.

Because they all live in HOAs to keep out the blacks and the other coloreds.

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: I lived in a condo with an HOA for almost two years and I would never ever to it again. I put up a basketball hoop for my kid and the next morning the president of the HOA knocked on my door. When I opened up he pushed past me, kicked over a lamp and sodomized the porcelain dalmatian that I keep next to my fire place. Then he ate all of my left over Pasta Roni. There is something seriously wrong with those people.

Aritocrats!

vudukungfu: Tellingthem: I'm sorry if you willingly buy a place with an HOA then you must follow the rules no matter how silly there are. If you don't like your HOA then move. You would think after all these stories people would learn...

\I will never buy a place with one

Nothing personal, but Stuff a Sock innit.

When you ban children from drawing on the sidewalk with chalk, you are only a few years from watching the police draw around them in chalk on the very same spot.

People have HOAs to keep neighbors from doing things they don't like. If you move into one, you're saying you support that concept. If you then oppose a rule when it's applied to you, you're a dick.

zenobia: People have HOAs to keep neighbors from doing things they don't like. If you move into one, you're saying you support that concept. If you then oppose a rule when it's applied to you, you're a dick.

More of a dumbass.

Really, I don't understand why more people don't just join their HOA boards. They usually have like 3 people who are already sick of it, at least in non-mcmansion neighborhoods. All you gotta do if you want to make a power play is deal with the crazy nutball people that complain about shiat like chalk on sidewalks.

My mom and dad brought me up in a home with an HOA.

When they objected to the pink flamingo I'd insisted on 'adopting' from the dollar store, named and treated as a pet (couldn't have a real one thanks to my stupid baby brother's allergies,) Mom simply put tennis balls on the ends of Agador's wire legs and he moved inside with us. (I'd seen 'The Birdcage' as a child, because Mom and Dad are cool.) She also let me take him, on his leash, to the monthly HOA meeting and made the Board explain to four-year-old me, in front of everyone, why they hated Agador and I could not have him as a pet. They caved at once and gave him a special exception, but by then he was quite happy in my room and only went outside again for walks.

When they objected to the marigolds I'd planted for a first-grade project, Mom pointed out that there were many other households who had them and that if they wanted to explain to Channel Four why there were preschoolers crying about the mean old men taking away their flowers on the evening news, one of her bridesmaids was an anchorwoman and it'd been a slow news week. They caved and agreed to add marigolds to the list of 'approved flowers.'

When Dad's car broke down and he and I were fixing it ourselves (age eight, I mainly handed him wrenches,) they send a nasty letter the third day it was up on jack stands, saying that junk cars would be subject to a $10-per-day fine for EACH day spent up on blocks. Dad and Mom were both working two jobs and alternators are a little tricky to replace when you only have an eight-year-old helping you and just one hour free a day. He used one of his rare days off and we got it fixed, then Dad drove me to the HOA building, still covered in engine grease and wearing my most adorable too-big coveralls and let me walk in all by myself with their letter, throw it on the desk and say "It's done, are you happy now?!" (It was the first time I'd ever been authorized to be rude to adults and the memory still makes me grin.) We weren't charged a dime and the Board member on duty actually apologized. When my baby sister arrived, the HOA objected to the 'It's a Girl' wreath on the front door that Mom's coworkers had sent. My uncles had also sent my brother and I a BB gun each, since we were older siblings now and would need to protect the family. Mom and Dad provided cast-iron alibis backed up by the pastor who lived next door after the HOA Board's tires and windshields were all inexplicably shot out. Amusingly enough, the local Safelite and Firestone guys were old friends of Dad's and the entire Board wound up being fined$140 each for having broken windshields for two weeks, their 'junk' cars were towed and were kicked off the Board for unpaid fines.

My parents freakin' rock.

I have to say I am somewhat sympathetic. I too hate the chalk messes on the sidewalk. Its little different from grafitti and makes the neighborhood look trashy. It would be easy to blame the kids but it is actually the parents who faiedl to teach them basic respect for their neighbors.

That said, I would far rather have my testicles cut off with a dull, rusty butter knife and spoon-fed to me with a sidehelping of excrement than live under an HOA. While I dont like folks who cant control their kids well to keep them from scrawling on the sidewalk, putting up with such things is just the price you pay for living near others. Which is of course why I plan to eventually move onto several acres in the hills.

Some things just don't really matter. This is one of them. I live in a neighborhood without an HOA, but I am single with no kids. All the neighbors have kids, and as long as the kids are not causing damage to property, let them be. Little girls drawing with sidewalk chalk in the summer? Spare me.

I say let them be.... there's some amazing sidewalk art out there.

What is all this Fuhrer about?

Skywolf Philosopher: I would rather live on an island all by my lonesome then put up with zoning laws and HOA. Without those illegitimate sons of adulterous female dogs-bastard sonsabiatches- trying to control my property, I would love to move to a quiet little town where I don't so much as need a car to get around.

/But, thanks to those onion-headed farkons my dream is now to find a peaceful place in the boondocks where I can damn well have a junk car for parts and paint my shed green if it behooves me.

Yes, I would too!

Thorak: The ONLY reason for laws about lawn length or paint colors or what you can park in your driveway is busybodies who want to get in touch with their inner fascist.

And socialists who insist that it is your responsibility to support the price of their house.

When did we give ultimate deciding power to the most offendable?

What could possibly be more innocuous than sidewalk chalk? The kid is gonna get bored of that in a couple days, then it will rain, and they'll have their precious unmarked pavement again. Whatever happened to being slightly tolerant of those around you for the sake of getting along? Everybody can't get their way 100% of the time.

zenobia: People have HOAs to keep neighbors from doing things they don't like. If you move into one, you're saying you support that concept. If you then oppose a rule when it's applied to you, you're a dick.

Enjoy hosing the life blood of your crotch droppings off your sidewalk, then.

A scene from Scrooged ran through my head:

Grace: Oh, it's a painting, one of my kids did. See, there's Santa Claus and there's Mrs. Claus.
Frank: Honey, how many fingers does Mrs. Santa Claus have here?
Grace: Eleven.
Frank: Eleven. Right. (rips it down) It's crap. Lose it. I don't want it on the wall. (throws it in the trashcan)

Vangor: ph0rk: Because the HOAs wouldn't work if that were the case. People with money like HOAs.

Oh, I am not saying this would ever happen until we are rebuilding civilization, just fantasizing.

/sorry, couldn't resist

SpiderQueenDemon: My mom and dad brought me up in a home with an HOA.

When they objected to the pink flamingo I'd insisted on 'adopting' from the dollar store, named and treated as a pet (couldn't have a real one thanks to my stupid baby brother's allergies,) Mom simply put tennis balls on the ends of Agador's wire legs and he moved inside with us. (I'd seen 'The Birdcage' as a child, because Mom and Dad are cool.) She also let me take him, on his leash, to the monthly HOA meeting and made the Board explain to four-year-old me, in front of everyone, why they hated Agador and I could not have him as a pet. They caved at once and gave him a special exception, but by then he was quite happy in my room and only went outside again for walks.

When they objected to the marigolds I'd planted for a first-grade project, Mom pointed out that there were many other households who had them and that if they wanted to explain to Channel Four why there were preschoolers crying about the mean old men taking away their flowers on the evening news, one of her bridesmaids was an anchorwoman and it'd been a slow news week. They caved and agreed to add marigolds to the list of 'approved flowers.'

When Dad's car broke down and he and I were fixing it ourselves (age eight, I mainly handed him wrenches,) they send a nasty letter the third day it was up on jack stands, saying that junk cars would be subject to a \$10-per-day fine for EACH day spent up on blocks. Dad and Mom were both working two jobs and alternators are a little tricky to replace when you only have an eight-year-old helping you and just one hour free a day. He used one of his rare days off and we got it fixed, then Dad drove me to the HOA building, still covered in engine grease and wearing my most adorable too-big coveralls and let me walk in all by myself with their letter, throw it on the desk and say "It's done, are you happy now?!" (It was the first time I'd ever been authorized to be rude to adults and the memory still makes me grin.) ...

I was on your side until the last paragraph. You, your family, the pastor, and your Dad's old friends became bigger dicks than the HOA.

LiberalEastCoastElitist: When did we give ultimate deciding power to the most offendable?

What could possibly be more innocuous than sidewalk chalk? The kid is gonna get bored of that in a couple days, then it will rain, and they'll have their precious unmarked pavement again. Whatever happened to being slightly tolerant of those around you for the sake of getting along? Everybody can't get their way 100% of the time.

I think it was the 1980s, when the FCC decided that 3 nutjobs who didn't know how to turn the radio off spoke for the entire USA.

If I wanted my freakin' sidewalks tagged I'd live in the ghetto.

BroncoFan_17: If I wanted my freakin' sidewalks tagged I'd live in the ghetto.

Yes, a little girl drawing flowers in chalk on your sidewalk is placing you in socie-economic peril.

Thorak: The ONLY reason for laws about lawn length or paint colors or what you can park in your driveway is busybodies who want to get in touch with their inner fascist.

They aren't laws, they are contractual rules you agree to - and the reason for them is because if you white trash up your house it farks up your neighbors property value.

Winston Smith '84: I was on your side until the last paragraph. You, your family, the pastor, and your Dad's old friends became bigger dicks than the HOA.

Don't worry, it was fiction. A dad whose old buddies work at repair shops is not a dad who needs a car up on jack stands for a week in order to replace an alternator. But the stories were entertaining, weren't they?

If it's a public sidewalk, how does the HOA have a say? Wouldn't it fall to the city to have a law against that?

Far as i know the kids are not a home owner so they are not subject to the HOA rules.

Thats awesome. Its like twirling a rock around your head by a line. In a cage swarming with birds. It kills so many birds with one stone.

RedPhoenix122: FirstNationalBastard: Self-righteous Parents vs. HOAs?

Can they annihilate each other?

I say we let them fight it out in court.

/And while they're doing that, pump lethal gas through the vents.

RedPhoenix122: FirstNationalBastard: Self-righteous Parents vs. HOAs?

Can they annihilate each other?

I say we let them fight it out in court.

/And while they're doing that, pump lethal gas through the vents.

majestic: Draw on your own shiat? I'm all about fark the hoa's, but, really, just draw on your own shiat. Not everyone likes finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees on their sidewalks.

It's amazing how often the first thing out of someone's mouth upon hearing about children doing something is insults towards the kids along with a word for penis or sex.

I was going to chime in here about how you have to pick your HOA wisely, they're not all power crazy. We used to live in one, but it was very mellow - dues are cheap and pay for trash collection, community pools and parks. And as far as I ever knew, no enforcement whatsoever, and probably not even any rules. Obviously if you're causing some destruction or disturbance in a park or pool, that's an issue. Anyway...

Holy shiat, that's my old neighborhood! The kids on my block used to do lots of sidewalk chalk too. I never imagined anyone might object to that. Seriously, wtf?

It sounds like the HOA may still officially decide this is a bs complaint, I certainly hope so.

slayer199: If it's a public sidewalk, how does the HOA have a say? Wouldn't it fall to the city to have a law against that?

In most such neighborhoods, the sidewalks, lawns, streets, curbs, alleys, signage and other areas are designated "common" and are thus joint property of the community. The cops can't give tickets for speeding, for example, tho we do get other city fire and police protection.

Approves

Straelbora: Seriously, if you're 'offended' by sidewalk chalk drawing by a 3 year old, you should move to Pakistan where everything can be treated as an outrage and you can just spend all your time rampaging through the streets.

Vangor: jayphat: Ed Willy: jayphat: Oh you bought a house in a HOA? This is how many farks I give.........

Why don't Republicans pushing "right-to-work" laws also push "right-to- live" laws that let you buy a house without joining the HOA?

Holy Fark. As someone who leans conservative, why the fark have I NEVER thought of that?

This is a rather awesome idea, actually.

Except for the fact that buying a house with an HOA is 100% VOLUNTARY. I've probably closed 5,000 home loans in 25 years and never, ever once did I see a buyer have a gun held to their head when they accepted the deed to their newly acquired property and the attached covenants and restrictions that come with being a member of the HOA.

Not once.

WHY IS THIS 3 YEAR OLD WASTING HER TIME DOING THIS
WHEN SHE COULD BE DOING HOMEWORK
OR LEARNING JAVA IN 22 DAYS

Some call it a popular summertime pastime for children and others are calling it distracting and offensive.

Really? Who? There are people in this world who think sidewalk chalk drawings are distracting and offensive?

I guess some people are neurotic to the point that they are annoyed by the existence of things, which infringe on their right to look outside and not see things.

Sometimes I wonder if an HOA actually makes people more neurotic, because it gives people an avenue to complain. I know that the opportunity to object to something will sometimes cause people to hate something they would otherwise like or not care about.

If you don't want to be subjected to insane rules and busy-body-ing, don't buy a house with a HOA. Yeah, you might get a car up on blocks on your block. Pick your poison.

/I prefer cars up on blocks.

jmr61: Vangor: jayphat: Ed Willy: jayphat: Oh you bought a house in a HOA? This is how many farks I give.........

Why don't Republicans pushing "right-to-work" laws also push "right-to- live" laws that let you buy a house without joining the HOA?

Holy Fark. As someone who leans conservative, why the fark have I NEVER thought of that?

This is a rather awesome idea, actually.

Except for the fact that buying a house with an HOA is 100% VOLUNTARY. I've probably closed 5,000 home loans in 25 years and never, ever once did I see a buyer have a gun held to their head when they accepted the deed to their newly acquired property and the attached covenants and restrictions that come with being a member of the HOA.

Not once.

Congrats, that was the douchey-est response I've seen so far in this thread.

\it's true
\\but still douchey
\\\disagree about the "gun to the head" tho - I've been to those signing parties
\\\\and they end up with the buyer just signing blank pcs of paper "in case we need it later"

ph0rk: Thorak: hey have zero business whatsoever making any "regulations" about private property use in any way.

If you have 10 acres out in the boonies, fine.

However, if I can see your magenta door and fusca shutters from my front steps, it bothers me.

It seems absurd, but some people in small 1/4 acre lot neighborhoods do some crazy, hideous things to their houses, and that affects the property value of their neighbors.

/This is why I like condos.

Yes, and my point is, so what?

What right do you have to control someone else's legal actions on their own property? We already have laws to cover things like public indecency and whatnot, or unsafe construction, or a host of other things, we don't need an HOA to provide additional rules.

lilplatinum: They aren't laws, they are contractual rules you agree to - and the reason for them is because if you white trash up your house it farks up your neighbors property value.

If it were a free and open choice, I'd have no problem with it. The issue is that I'm supposedly buying a house. If I could buy the house and THEN, if I chose to, enter into an HOA agreement, then I'd see no argument. But they're stuck right on the lease.

It's like if you bought a car but the dealership said "okay, you can't buy gas anywhere but Esso, use any tires but Michelin, and you'll bring it in to the dealership 4 times a year for a mandatory servicing. If you fail on any of these you will be fined monthly and it the fines accumulate enough we'll repossess the vehicle".

If you want to control what the person living in a house does to the property, the relationship you're looking for is landlord/tenant. Rent the houses. If you're selling them, you should be giving up all right to control what the tenant does to the property. If they choose to bulldoze the entire place and build a brand-new house on the property in a completely different style, there should be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING any neighbour can do so long as the house abides by the zoning and construction laws for the city. If I paint if with fuschia polka dots and cover the entire lawn with a rock garden, tough. Deal. if any of this hurts your property values, not my problem.

slayer199: If it's a public sidewalk, how does the HOA have a say? Wouldn't it fall to the city to have a law against that?

As I understand it an HOA is like a condo corporation. It's set in place by the developer to get around certain municipal requirements so they can build faster and cheaper. Anyone who buys in to the neighborhood pays fees like condo owners, and the roads, sidewalks, parks etc are communal property, owned by the HOA.

I warned ya, Skinner! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself.

Would it make any difference if the kid draw pictures of the American flag?

The derp is strong in this thread.

Lived in a development with a HOA in Greeley: "Villa Serena", which I always referred to (to the dismay of the board) as "Villa Varicosa". Was 62 at the time, and the youngest resident, though many of the homeowners were under 50 yeas of age.

/Fark HOAs
//Lawn, off,stay.

Older than the internet:

Kids Drawings

NSFW language (but funny as Hell)

ph0rk: It seems absurd, but some people in small 1/4 acre lot neighborhoods do some crazy, hideous things to their houses, and that affects the property value of their neighbors.

If your neighbor paints his door magenta and this "affects" your property value, first I call BS, and second, so what? Your neighbor is not supposed to act in a way that maximizes your house value across the street. He's not supposed to mow your lawn either.

Xcott: ph0rk: It seems absurd, but some people in small 1/4 acre lot neighborhoods do some crazy, hideous things to their houses, and that affects the property value of their neighbors.

If your neighbor paints his door magenta and this "affects" your property value, first I call BS, and second, so what? Your neighbor is not supposed to act in a way that maximizes your house value across the street. He's not supposed to mow your lawn either.

Lots of cities don't agree with you. Irvine and Cerritos in California come to mind.

Chameleon: bojon: I remember when Stapleton was an airport surrounded by ghettos.

I have fond memories of stopping by that crazy trucker diner with the coffee pot-shaped sign just off the Stapleton exit for greasy breakfast before my flight. And the floor tiles that were exactly the same "mixed color vomit" shade as the tiles of my elementary school. Good times, good times...

Sapp Brothers truck stop! I used to hang out with Rich Sapp, a real party animal.

Not far from the diner was a strip club named "The Landing Strip."

ph0rk: Hrist: Don't think they won't do it if they had the chance.

"We shall have lots of rules!"

Of course, the solution most people first suggest to any malfunctioning bureaucracy is more rules.

Branbot: So people actually have to take HOA seriously? I was a bored kid in white suburbia. We vandalized and played every dumb game there is on our neighborhood. HOA hated us, they kind of had a creepy obsession with talking about us at every meeting after a while. Our parents never admitted that we were theirs. There were never ramifications for our actions. But I guess we were kids.

If the HOA chooses to, they can fine your ass. That shiat is actionable, no matter how retarded the reason for the fine, assuming it is in line with their charter.

And if you don't pay the fines they can foreclose on your house, often without a judicial hearing.

Let the snowflake chalk up the driveway and keep her off areas that don't belong to you. Common courtesy. It's your kid... you get to look at the crappy drawings.

/dislike HOAs
//dislike lazy parents more

slotz: /sorry, couldn't resist

I did offer to continue our conversation via email if you wanted.

jmr61: Except for the fact that buying a house with an HOA is 100% VOLUNTARY.

Not exactly 100%, but highly voluntary, yes. No one will force you to purchase a home, but tons of factors limit the availability of houses to people, and hard to know how tedious and obnoxious an association is until moving in. I would prefer homes were not attached with senseless rules disconnected to the usage of common areas or availability of services.

The only thing worse than an HOA is someone who buys into the HOA with no idea what they're in for.

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