If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Oregon Live)   What's worse than being high on drugs and plowing your car into a crime scene? Being high on drugs while masturbating and plowing your car into a crime scene   (oregonlive.com) divider line 90
    More: Fail, car thief, sex offenders, sex crimes, Judge Michael McShane  
•       •       •

7626 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2012 at 11:41 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-09 12:54:24 PM

Ed Finnerty: Did he finish?


Jesus man, there are some things you just don't talk about.
 
2012-06-09 12:54:48 PM
i85.photobucket.com
So, did he cum or what?
 
2012-06-09 12:55:49 PM
*Shakes fist
/like the guy in the article
 
2012-06-09 12:58:29 PM

vudukungfu: "When you're on your meds and you're off drugs, it's clear to me you're really a decent person,"


Dude..that is just silly.
 
2012-06-09 01:04:22 PM

Molavian: Christ, he looks like a Dick Tracy villain.


Looks like they finally brought in Flattop.
images.wikia.com
 
2012-06-09 01:10:55 PM
Damn, I had to read that twice; I thought I read that wrong.
 
2012-06-09 01:18:37 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: I knew this had to be a guy. Women can't drive a stick.


I know this is both a double entendre and a troll remark but I'll bite- never owned an automatic in my life. Owned five cars, all manual transmission. I'm a pro with the stick.

/Freudian slip mebbe
 
2012-06-09 01:34:59 PM

kiwimoogle84: TheShavingofOccam123: I knew this had to be a guy. Women can't drive a stick.

I know this is both a double entendre and a troll remark but I'll bite- never owned an automatic in my life. Owned five cars, all manual transmission. I'm a pro with the stick.

/Freudian slip mebbe


I would love to learn how to drive a stick. Wouldn't mind it being a pickup either.

/just sayin'
 
2012-06-09 01:35:02 PM
Masturbating to pr0n while driving under the influence of alcohol, pot, AND meth...

The bar has been raised, gentlemen!
 
2012-06-09 01:40:17 PM

theorellior: I don't think I've ever seen a cylindrical cranium before.


He does look like a "Dick Tracy" villain....
 
2012-06-09 01:41:56 PM
While I have cigarettes on my front porch, I watch what people are doing in their cars as they drive by. I've seen people drinking beer, smoking pot, and masturbating. But not at the same time, yet.
 
2012-06-09 01:46:02 PM

The_Sponge: How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink [Link]


TY for that. that's some funny shiat right there.
 
2012-06-09 01:51:08 PM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: TheShavingofOccam123: I knew this had to be a guy. Women can't drive a stick.

I know this is both a double entendre and a troll remark but I'll bite- never owned an automatic in my life. Owned five cars, all manual transmission. I'm a pro with the stick.

/Freudian slip mebbe

I would love to learn how to drive a stick. Wouldn't mind it being a pickup either.

/just sayin'


Mine was of necessity. Got a crappy ol' Mazda from my grandpa and it was a stick. Beggars can't be choosers. Since then I've just preferred it.
 
2012-06-09 01:51:48 PM
davidphogan:

While I have cigarettes on my front porch, I watch what people are doing in their cars as they drive by. I've seen people drinking beer, smoking pot, and masturbating. But not at the same time, yet.

Challenge accepted. As long as you'll let me borrow your car to do it in.

By the way, if you have to go outside to smoke, especially in bad weather, maybe you should quit.
 
2012-06-09 01:54:53 PM

kiwimoogle84: MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: TheShavingofOccam123: I knew this had to be a guy. Women can't drive a stick.

I know this is both a double entendre and a troll remark but I'll bite- never owned an automatic in my life. Owned five cars, all manual transmission. I'm a pro with the stick.

/Freudian slip mebbe

I would love to learn how to drive a stick. Wouldn't mind it being a pickup either.

/just sayin'

Mine was of necessity. Got a crappy ol' Mazda from my grandpa and it was a stick. Beggars can't be choosers. Since then I've just preferred it.


It just seems like it would be more fun. I absolutely love to drive. It seems like being more involved would just enhance the enjoyment I get out of cruising around.
/44 to Springfield is a fun stretch.
 
2012-06-09 01:59:49 PM
i861.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-09 02:01:37 PM

TsarTom: [media.oregonlive.com image 480x600]

But he seems like such a nice young man.


I welcome the newest FARK meme.
 
2012-06-09 02:16:11 PM

The_Sponge: How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink [Link]


From the Linky Goodness

"What I'd really like is a new label. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who feel the same way. We are the Republican Party Reptiles. We look like Republicans, and think like conservatives, but we drive a lot faster and keep vibrators and baby oil and a video camera behind the stack of sweaters on the bedroom closet shelf. I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, being a pussy about nuclear power, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, Gary Hart, all tiny Third World countries that don't have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the U.N., taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don't find out), a sound dollar, cleaner environment (poor people should cut it out with the graffiti), a strong military with spiffy uniforms, Nastassia Kinski, Star Wars (and anything else that scares the Russkis), and a firm stand on the Middle East (raze buildings, burn crops, plow the earth with salt, and sell the population into bondage).
There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country... well, a real bad hangover."

P. J. O'Rourke
Jaffrey, New Hampshire 1986


Oh Hell Yes
 
2012-06-09 02:20:08 PM
I hear they're doing a new Munsters movie. Put bolts on his neck, and he has the head shape to be Herman.

/don't fap while driving a stick. If you get confused you could really injure yourself
 
2012-06-09 02:22:36 PM
David Coulthard has let himself go.
 
2012-06-09 02:52:21 PM
media.oregonlive.com


THEY CALL HIM BLUE BALLS.
 
2012-06-09 02:53:07 PM
dl.dropbox.com

/Master Control Program lives!
 
2012-06-09 02:53:12 PM
media.oregonlive.com
"you goin' get masterbated"
 
2012-06-09 02:55:52 PM
media.oregonlive.comwww.marveldirectory.com
 
2012-06-09 04:10:56 PM
Whoa. The brain really IS the largest errogenous zone in the body.
 
2012-06-09 04:30:52 PM

MagSeven: [i85.photobucket.com image 500x250]
So, did he cum or what?


Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
 
2012-06-09 05:50:30 PM

Captain Steroid: Masturbating to pr0n while driving under the influence of alcohol, pot, AND meth...

The bar has been raised, gentlemen!


I hope this achievement doesn't go unnoticed. Stolen car was mentioned in the article but might have been a previous offence. Maybe this guy has a bucket list to go with his bucket head. Plus the name Signalness and a face for Fark memes.

Has anyone checked his priors?
 
2012-06-09 06:20:13 PM
I thought he looked like a true-to-life version of Sideshow Bob

/if he was a ginger, he'd be perfect
//close enough for gov'ment work
 
2012-06-09 06:45:33 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-09 07:48:31 PM
At the crime scene, lol

/good tweet, good tweet
 
2012-06-09 07:56:42 PM

schief2: *checks article*

Whew, not me this time.


Half the headlines from this site have me wondering that.

The other half, Tuesday.
 
2012-06-09 08:11:34 PM
OHH baby check out his defense lawyer...HOT....she really got him off I bet
 
2012-06-09 08:14:47 PM
 
2012-06-09 09:10:25 PM

brap: Whoa. The brain really IS the largest errogenous zone in the body.


In this case it's an erroneous zone.
 
2012-06-09 09:46:40 PM
With that face, he doesn't *need* to register as a sex offender.
 
2012-06-09 11:28:46 PM
Um if jacking off in your car while driving is cause for sexual perversity, I'm a pervert a few times a year (at night behind tinted windows, long boring drives).

This is bullshiat that they'd even have to think twice about not making him register.
 
2012-06-10 12:41:32 AM

T.O. Bigdog: OHH baby check out his defense lawyer...HOT....she really got him off I bet


Eh. Looks like Kristy McNichol forgot to comb her hair before she raided a public defender's wardrobe.
 
2012-06-10 10:17:06 AM
media.oregonlive.com
Specifically...

* Drunk
* while high on meth
* while stoned on pot
* while masturbating to porn
* while driving a stolen car
* while crashing through a police murder investigation.

But hey, at least he's not a sex offender.
 
2012-06-10 12:13:32 PM
Masturbating doesn't make things worse, subby. It makes things better.
 
2012-06-10 12:42:03 PM

Ball Zitch: Masturbating doesn't make things worse, subby. It makes things better.


Not on the It's A Small World ride.
 
Displayed 40 of 90 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report