FARK.com: (7153518) Turtles divorce after 115 years... but they seemed so happy together

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		Turtles divorce after 115 years... but they seemed so happy together (huffingtonpost.com)		50
		More: Silly, turtles, Ex-wife

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7329 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2012 at 10:44 AM | Favorite | share:

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AbbeySomeone		2012-06-09 06:27:24 AM

Instant earworm.

*kicks subby in shins and runs away

WTFDYW		2012-06-09 10:42:09 AM

According to the paper, zoo staff realized something was amiss when Bibi bit off a chunk of her partner's shell.

That is so farking funny for some reason.

WTFDYW		2012-06-09 10:46:44 AM

What Bibis partner may have looked like after the chomp

Trance750		2012-06-09 10:47:39 AM

fragMasterFlash		2012-06-09 10:49:38 AM

They really should try to stay together for the great-great-great grandkids.

Cybernetic		2012-06-09 10:49:46 AM

AbbeySomeone: Instant earworm.

*kicks subby in shins and runs away

This. I'm gonna be hearing that damned song all day.

Tomflry7		2012-06-09 10:50:56 AM

See what happens when we let teh gays marry?

Bin_jammin		2012-06-09 10:54:52 AM

Nice one subby, very nice. I giggled.

Show_The_O_Face		2012-06-09 10:57:38 AM

He was tired of her constant nagging. She was sick of his continual come ons.

greggm59		2012-06-09 10:57:56 AM

What a turtle with a bite taken out of its shell may look like.
theheritagecook.com

Thudfark		2012-06-09 10:59:15 AM

Does anyone think Elenore is really swell anymore?

fzumrk		2012-06-09 10:59:18 AM

Trivia time: The two guys from the Turtles changed their names to Flo & Eddie and toured with Zappa for a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_GNqKrZkYs

iheartscotch		2012-06-09 10:59:56 AM

It's pretty obvious what happened; she found turtle wax on one of his collars. You all know what that means; he was probably going to go on a date with a 70 year old turtle with big olde ridges on her shell.

/ either that or he wouldn't quit smoking

Isildur		2012-06-09 11:02:11 AM

Perhaps they should have gone to marriage terrapy.

theorellior		2012-06-09 11:02:55 AM

Usually I hate it when someone complains about a worse headline getting greenlit, but my entry linked the actual article, not the gorram HuffPo, and didn't basically copy the HuffPo headline.

[looks grumpy, adjusts onion]

leevis		2012-06-09 11:04:39 AM

I can't see me loving nobody buy you, for all my life...

AbbeySomeone		2012-06-09 11:08:28 AM

theorellior: Usually I hate it when someone complains about a worse headline getting greenlit, but my entry linked the actual article, not the gorram HuffPo, and didn't basically copy the HuffPo headline.

[looks grumpy, adjusts onion]

No matter how we toss the dice.....

Isildur		2012-06-09 11:11:55 AM

Friends remarked that it was long coming; everyone close to them knew it was just a matter of time before they came out about the tensions and retracted their vows.

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears		2012-06-09 11:12:38 AM

baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa! ba ba ba ba! ba ba ba baaa!

... damn you subby.

Apos		2012-06-09 11:16:20 AM

Dear Jerk		2012-06-09 11:17:19 AM

I like Turtles You Showed Me.

MrHappyRotter		2012-06-09 11:17:50 AM

You see? Marriage is still sanctimonious even in light of the high rate of divorce. I mean, divorce is even known to occur naturally in the animal kingdom. All you gay-loving, die-hard libs who tried to claim that there is no sanctity of marriage because of divorce whilst at the same time claiming there's nothing wrong with being gay because even animals are gay -- you can now SUCK IT.

Igor Jakovsky		2012-06-09 11:34:59 AM

According to the paper, zoo staff realized something was amiss when Bibi bit off a chunk of her partner's shell

Damn turtles hopped up on bath salts

TheShavingofOccam123		2012-06-09 11:38:32 AM

Imagine me and you
I do
I think about you day and night
It's only riii-iight
To think think the one you love
And hold her tight
So happy together

I can't see me lovin nobody but you for all my life

/you see, we had an ancient jukebox for which we never bought new 45s
/would you like to hear my rendition of Surfer Joe?

gameshowhost		2012-06-09 11:39:14 AM

They seemed so happy.

i46.tinypic.com

TheShavingofOccam123		2012-06-09 11:43:11 AM

gameshowhost: They seemed so happy.

[i46.tinypic.com image 250x169]

Is he not turtle enough for her?

theorellior		2012-06-09 11:44:39 AM

Apos: FWIW,I thought your headline was funnier.

Thanks, man!

Just so I can keep the butthurt tingling, I'll post mine so everyone can point and laugh:

Hot divorcée just off long relationship ready for slow sexy time. Might need some sweet talk to get her out of her shell, but has a mouth like a steel vise. Loves leafy green vegetables. Ignore the domestic violence rap

tardisrider		2012-06-09 11:53:01 AM

fzumrk: Trivia time: The two guys from the Turtles changed their names to Flo & Eddie and toured with Zappa for a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_GNqKrZkYs

Obscure trivia to some; common knowledge to others.

I've loved this ever since I saw it when it was first broadcast:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcdy9CjZ6B8

LazarusLong42		2012-06-09 11:57:41 AM

Isildur: Perhaps they should have gone to marriage terrapy.

I see what you did there.

/amused they actually tried "couples counseling"

Buffet		2012-06-09 11:58:30 AM

Q. Whaddaya do with a 115 year old chic?
A. Trade her in on five 23 year olds!

Don't Troll Me Bro!		2012-06-09 12:08:48 PM

MrHappyRotter: You see? Marriage is still sanctimonious even in light of the high rate of divorce. I mean, divorce is even known to occur naturally in the animal kingdom. All you gay-loving, die-hard libs who tried to claim that there is no sanctity of marriage because of divorce whilst at the same time claiming there's nothing wrong with being gay because even animals are gay -- you can now SUCK IT.

quizzical_dog.jpg

utah dude		2012-06-09 12:09:59 PM

MDMA and testosterone.

Trance750		2012-06-09 12:10:46 PM

gameshowhost: They seemed so happy.

[i46.tinypic.com image 250x169]

Am I not turtle enough for the Turtle Club?

Hermione_Granger		2012-06-09 12:14:26 PM

Having just sent my man packing to his own apartment after two years and two months of him refusing to move out, I want to give that turtle girl a high five and take her out for hell yeah his ass is gone drinks.

Girl, I understand.

Thudfark		2012-06-09 12:28:05 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Imagine me and you
I do
I think about you day and night
It's only riii-iight
To think think the one you love
And hold her tight
So happy together

I can't see me lovin nobody but you for all my life

/you see, we had an ancient jukebox for which we never bought new 45s
/would you like to hear my rendition of Surfer ~~Joe~~Dan?

Had the 45

Mister Peejay		2012-06-09 12:42:20 PM

See headline.

Couple hours later, see headline again.

Ten minutes later, see headline again.. OH GODDAMNIT

/slow on Saturday mornings

Relic84		2012-06-09 12:43:50 PM

Isildur: Perhaps they should have gone to marriage terrapy.

RTFA. They totally did.

brap		2012-06-09 12:49:59 PM

I wonder if they are going rebound by buying sportscars and run amok with a series of younger sexier turtles.

brap		2012-06-09 12:55:58 PM

Apparently he caught his wife in bed with another turtle and challenged him to a duel at high noon.

"Draw Tippy."

freewill		2012-06-09 01:09:09 PM

WTFDYW: According to the paper, zoo staff realized something was amiss when Bibi bit off a chunk of her partner's shell.

That is so farking funny for some reason.

That is the exact same way I realized it was over with my ex.

sk8r		2012-06-09 01:12:37 PM

Igor Jakovsky: According to the paper, zoo staff realized something was amiss when Bibi bit off a chunk of her partner's shell

Damn turtles hopped up on bath salts

I laughed

Trance750		2012-06-09 01:15:05 PM

Yeah well YOU try seeing the same old shell, every day, for 115 years and tell me YOU won't get bored

BarkingUnicorn		2012-06-09 01:28:30 PM

HuffPo did not show a pic, but the Austrian Times did. Tortoises are not turtles.

Of course, it could be an inaccurate stock photo. But I surmise it's a mistranslation.

Surool		2012-06-09 01:56:38 PM

theorellior: Apos: FWIW,I thought your headline was funnier.

Thanks, man!

Just so I can keep the butthurt tingling, I'll post mine so everyone can point and laugh:

Hot divorcée just off long relationship ready for slow sexy time. Might need some sweet talk to get her out of her shell, but has a mouth like a steel vise. Loves leafy green vegetables. Ignore the domestic violence rap

That's funny? Oh, okay.

TripSixes		2012-06-09 02:00:04 PM

Yep, always after some new cloaca.

BloodySaxon		2012-06-09 03:31:50 PM

Niiiiiice subby!

Hassan Ben Sobr		2012-06-09 07:16:59 PM

They waited till the kids were dead.

GUATAPOPO		2012-06-10 12:19:50 AM

Relic84		2012-06-10 12:57:37 AM

fragMasterFlash: They really should try to stay together for the great-great-great grandkids.

How could they be so shelfish?

fzumrk		2012-06-11 08:03:09 AM

tardisrider: fzumrk: Trivia time: The two guys from the Turtles changed their names to Flo & Eddie and toured with Zappa for a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_GNqKrZkYs

Obscure trivia to some; common knowledge to others.

I've loved this ever since I saw it when it was first broadcast:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcdy9CjZ6B8

That was cute.

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