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(TMZ)   Ready for Fark headline: "Miss Michigan: I Don't Swallow"   (tmz.com) divider line 40
    More: Unlikely, Miss USA  
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8271 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Jun 2012 at 12:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-08 10:00:08 AM
so she gargles. i can respect that.
 
2012-06-08 10:15:43 AM
She just doesn't want the other contestants to know the secret to flawless skin.
 
2012-06-08 10:16:43 AM
As far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm finished she can go ahead and spit if she wants.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-08 11:24:06 AM
There goes her chances of winning.
 
2012-06-08 11:52:47 AM
She sounds like a barrel full of fun.

/yes, that was sarcasm
//the lowest form of humor
 
2012-06-08 12:06:09 PM

Old_Chief_Scott: As far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm finished she can go ahead and spit if she wants.


Or just let it drip off her chin, either way works.
 
2012-06-08 12:15:29 PM
What "kind of girl" drinks vodka when they're 21?
I mean, I just don't get what she's insinuating with that sentence.
 
2012-06-08 12:15:38 PM
Sounds like she's primed for a throat-coating good time!
 
2012-06-08 12:18:06 PM
Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)
 
2012-06-08 12:18:11 PM
This is some serious top-level controversy
 
2012-06-08 12:22:40 PM
FTFA: "They knew I was upset about losing..."

/Causality vs. correlation thread?
 
2012-06-08 12:24:14 PM

Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)


Well now I'm just sad
 
2012-06-08 12:26:33 PM

Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)


Ya know, there are things one just don't want to know about one's nieces.
This was one of them, Jess.

/Thanksgiving could be awkward this year.
 
2012-06-08 12:34:07 PM

Spatula Porn: I too don't swallow


Why not?
 
2012-06-08 12:56:31 PM
As the kind of guy who watches and cares about beauty pageants in farking 2012, I'm so outraged by this I could spit. I mean, my first impulse is to tell her to shut her whore mouth. But that just makes the problem worse! GAAAAAHHHH.
 
2012-06-08 01:03:59 PM
She's 21. From what I recall, alcohol consumption by someone 21 and up is legal. Just shut up and admit you are a binge drinker. Shesh
 
2012-06-08 01:08:48 PM
Really who the fark cares? It seems so many people are going all puritanical now that people have to apologize for doing anything. Fark you where is my beer!
 
2012-06-08 01:29:39 PM

PsyLord: She's 21. From what I recall, alcohol consumption by someone 21 and up is legal.


Ah, but when did she learn to drink (and swallow) alcohol? When she was (gasp!) underage? Or are we to believe that the stresses of pageant life drove her to drink? Neither is acceptable for a contest where the winner is the prudiest virgin AND the sluttiest whore at the same time.

Believe it or not, in spite of this being the stupidest imaginable thing to say, it was probably the savviest thing she could have said under the particular circumstances. If she'd denied drinking entirely, then our pageant-watching sphincters would have tightened in disgust at the thought of a girl we couldn't loosen up with booze. (Or we'd have decided she was a filthy boozehound liar.)

She'll go far in life. Not as far as she would have in the 1940s or 50s, but still pretty far.
 
2012-06-08 01:36:21 PM

Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)


I can back this up. I have yet to get a beejer from a Michagander that swallows. Ohio girls on the other hand...
 
2012-06-08 01:43:43 PM
so this years pageant seems to have gone well with trans-gender contestants, contestants fighting Donald Trump and contestants not swallowing liquor. Already looking forward to next year.

/you brought her you liquor
//liquor!! i barely knowher
 
2012-06-08 01:44:17 PM
They all do. They all swallow.
 
2012-06-08 02:00:09 PM

sedric: so this years pageant seems to have gone well with trans-gender contestants, contestants fighting Donald Trump and contestants not swallowing liquor. Already looking forward to next year.

/you brought her you liquor
//liquor!! i barely knowher



Soon the contest will just be an episode of Cops or Jersey Shore. Also disappointed in the lack of pics in this thread, as TMZ is blocked at work.
 
2012-06-08 02:33:35 PM
Ann Arbor is a whore.
 
2012-06-08 02:41:58 PM

Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)


Ever?
 
2012-06-08 02:46:53 PM
All women swallow if properly motivated.


Not our fault if you cant find a real man to press your buttons. Maybe go play for the other team, or try harder, or something.
 
2012-06-08 03:04:59 PM
Oh? Did she take the mouthful of butter-cream vodka, crawl over a leopard skin rug to another bikini-clad girl lying on her back and open her mouth letting the vodka fall in strings into the other girls mouth? And then, while still on all fours, lower the last tendrils of saliva neatly into the prone girl's mouth, tucking them gently into the girls mouth with her wide pink tongue?
GTG something just came up.
 
2012-06-08 03:35:54 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

What Miss Michigan may look like
 
2012-06-08 03:48:49 PM

R Kelly's Doo Doo Butter: Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)

I can back this up. I have yet to get a beejer from a Michagander that swallows. Ohio girls on the other hand...


Apparently I need to introduce you to some girls then. I've had a very nice ROI with Michigan ladies. Now, Illinois girls...prudes (when it comes to swallowing).
 
2012-06-08 03:57:21 PM
Turn your head now, baby, just spit me out.
 
2012-06-08 04:06:17 PM

R Kelly's Doo Doo Butter: Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)

I can back this up. I have yet to get a beejer from a Michagander that swallows. Ohio girls on the other hand...


Stop sullying the reputation of our state. I'm from Michigan and I definitely enjoy a little protein shake.
 
2012-06-08 04:56:54 PM
I feel uptight on a Saturday night
Nine o' clock, the radio's the only light
I hear my song and it pulls me through
Comes on strong, tell me what I got to do
I got to

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

Getting late, I just can't wait
Ten o'clock and I know I gotta hit the road
First I drink, then I smoke
Start up the car, and I try to make the midnight show

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/kiss-lyrics/detroit-rock-city-lyrics.htm l -]
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

Movin' fast, doin' 9s
hiat top speed but I'm still movin' much too slow
I feel so good, I'm so alive
I hear my song playin' on the radio
It goes

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City

Twelve o'clock, I gotta rock
There's a truck ahead, lights starin' at my eyes
Oh my God, no time to turn
I got to laugh 'cause I know I'm gonna die
Why

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down

Get up
Everybody's gonna leave their seat
Get down
 
2012-06-08 05:04:55 PM

StoPPeRmobile: KISS lyrics


I liked the filterpwnage part of your post best.
 
2012-06-08 05:16:00 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH: StoPPeRmobile: KISS lyrics

I liked the filterpwnage part of your post best.


Lulz. Thanks for pointing that out.
 
2012-06-08 09:15:22 PM

dennysgod: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]

What Miss Michigan may look like


Oh, so she looks just like your girlfriend?
 
2012-06-08 10:00:46 PM

ZeroCorpse: dennysgod: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]

What Miss Michigan may look like

Oh, so she looks just like your girlfriend?



You should know that your mom doesn't look like that.
 
2012-06-09 02:09:18 AM

demaL-demaL-yeH: Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)

Ya know, there are things one just don't want to know about one's nieces.
This was one of them, Jess.

/Thanksgiving could be awkward this year.


Who the hell...?
 
2012-06-09 03:11:25 PM

Old_Chief_Scott: As far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm finished she can go ahead and spit if she wants.


Yeah, I tried to sell that line to my wife, she wasnt going for it. She used to finish, but like many older guys have pointed out, once they know theyve got you, thats the first thing to go, eventually they get full on lock jaw.

Pretty soon Im gonna hit her with "you know what happens to people who start jobs but never finish?, they get fired." Not that it will do any good...
 
2012-06-09 10:16:37 PM

Spatula Porn: demaL-demaL-yeH: Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)

Ya know, there are things one just doesn't want to know about one's nieces.
This was one of them, Jess.

/Thanksgiving could be awkward this year.

Who the hell...?


Either your uncomfortable and disappointed uncle in Tucson or a stranger feeling relief at a case of mistaken identity.

/I'm sincerely hoping it's the latter.
 
2012-06-10 04:45:48 AM

demaL-demaL-yeH: Spatula Porn: demaL-demaL-yeH: Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)

Ya know, there are things one just doesn't want to know about one's nieces.
This was one of them, Jess.

/Thanksgiving could be awkward this year.

Who the hell...?

Either your uncomfortable and disappointed uncle in Tucson or a stranger feeling relief at a case of mistaken identity.

/I'm sincerely hoping it's the latter.


Uhhh yeah, because I have no uncle in Tucson. Unless I am a adopted, but then we just go into a weird territory...
 
2012-06-10 10:08:05 AM

Spatula Porn: demaL-demaL-yeH: Spatula Porn: demaL-demaL-yeH: Spatula Porn: Hmmm, perhaps it is our state "thing." I too am from Michigan and I too don't swallow :)

Ya know, there are things one just doesn't want to know about one's nieces.
This was one of them, Jess.

/Thanksgiving could be awkward this year.

Who the hell...?

Either your uncomfortable and disappointed uncle in Tucson or a stranger feeling relief at a case of mistaken identity.

/I'm sincerely hoping it's the latter.

Uhhh yeah, because I have no uncle in Tucson. Unless I am a adopted, but then we just go into a weird territory...


No, it started out in weird territory.
Now you're just another pseudonymous internet Michigander with the same name as my niece who posts about her sex life.
Thank goodness.
 
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