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(Baltimore Sun)   When a black bear is spotted near school, the principal gets on the blower, picks up the rule book and turns all stern and scoldy and says, "It is not registered at the school so it is not supposed to be on the property,"   (baltimoresun.com) divider line 37
    More: Amusing, Mount Airy, Carroll County, Michigan Department of Natural Resources, Howard County, principals, Baltimore County, Timonium, natural resources  
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4931 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2012 at 12:14 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-08 12:18:02 PM  
Commence "bears falling outta trees" pics.
 
2012-06-08 12:18:30 PM  
Call Chris Hanson, we have a bear near a school.
 
2012-06-08 12:21:12 PM  
simpsonswiki.net
 
2012-06-08 12:23:32 PM  
Mary had a little bear, little bear, little bear...
 
2012-06-08 12:29:06 PM  
The bears can travel over 100 miles an hour in search of food, he said. The migration for young male bears is common in spring and early summer months as the bears look for an area of their own in search of food - which in Central Maryland can often be bird feeders, backyard grills and trash cans.
 
2012-06-08 12:29:14 PM  
Wtf is the headline saying? The words should make sense but it feels like every fifth one was left out. 'on the blower'?
 
2012-06-08 12:36:12 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: The bears can travel over 100 miles an hour in search of food, he said. The migration for young male bears is common in spring and early summer months as the bears look for an area of their own in search of food - which in Central Maryland can often be bird feeders, backyard grills and trash cans.


That's a fast bear.
 
2012-06-08 12:42:33 PM  

kroonermanblack: Wtf is the headline saying? The words should make sense but it feels like every fifth one was left out. 'on the blower'?


this. Maybe it's supposed to be a reference to something too hip for us squares.
who knows
 
2012-06-08 12:42:44 PM  

bubo_sibiricus: The bears can travel over 100 miles an hour in search of food, he said. The migration for young male bears is common in spring and early summer months as the bears look for an area of their own in search of food - which in Central Maryland can often be bird feeders, backyard grills and trash cans.


Jesus.
 
2012-06-08 12:43:20 PM  
Oh, he's very popular Ed. The grizzlies, koalas, polars, browns, pandas, the suns, they all adore him. They think he's a rightous dude....er, bear.
 
2012-06-08 12:43:42 PM  
When a black bear is spotted near school,


Why is the bear's race an issue?
 
2012-06-08 12:44:06 PM  

kroonermanblack: Wtf is the headline saying? The words should make sense but it feels like every fifth one was left out. 'on the blower'?


Can we vote a headline out of existence? It's written like a syllogism. I need a Venn diagram just to decipher it.
 
2012-06-08 12:45:29 PM  
So does the bear go on the sex offender registry now for lurking around small children?
 
2012-06-08 12:50:35 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
If it was a white bear, they'd give him a ride to school.
 
2012-06-08 12:56:43 PM  
I'll bet there is a ton of paperwork to fill out, if a bear eats a kid on school property...
 
2012-06-08 12:57:59 PM  

DarkPascual: [simpsonswiki.net image 250x193]


Let the bears pay the bear tax. The students will pay the student tax.
 
2012-06-08 12:58:08 PM  

Lipspinach: kroonermanblack: Wtf is the headline saying? The words should make sense but it feels like every fifth one was left out. 'on the blower'?

this. Maybe it's supposed to be a reference to something too hip for us squares.
who knows


It means the loudspeaker, or the intercom. On which schools' daily announcements are read audibly, or used to be. Maybe they had to discontinue that to be fair to the deaf kids, since there isn't always instant sign-language translation available.
 
2012-06-08 01:00:23 PM  
He's not a bear. He's a silly man wearing a fur coat that needs a shave.

upload.wikimedia.org

/hot like that cup of joe.he's holding.
 
2012-06-08 01:00:24 PM  
Yet another purposefully false headline. Fark you subby, fark you in the ear.
 
2012-06-08 01:01:28 PM  
I read that as "When a black kid is spotted near school...". I have been on fark too long.
 
2012-06-08 01:03:53 PM  

VimFuego: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x267]
If it was a white bear, they'd give him a ride to school.


White bears can't run 100mph.
 
2012-06-08 01:12:27 PM  
Meh.

The urban/suburban residents are the assholes who are always biatching about Maryland's bear hunting season.

Now the sow is on the other foot, bastards.
 
2012-06-08 01:13:51 PM  

DECMATH: Lipspinach: kroonermanblack: Wtf is the headline saying? The words should make sense but it feels like every fifth one was left out. 'on the blower'?

this. Maybe it's supposed to be a reference to something too hip for us squares.
who knows

It means the loudspeaker, or the intercom. On which schools' daily announcements are read audibly, or used to be. Maybe they had to discontinue that to be fair to the deaf kids, since there isn't always instant sign-language translation available.


Yeah I know what a "blower" is, I meant that the whole headline was somewhat
strangely written so as to be perhaps a reference to some obscure movie or something. :/
 
2012-06-08 01:23:23 PM  
Quick, somebody hack into the school's computer and register that bear for classes. Watch the principal's reaction:

i306.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-08 01:27:35 PM  
Mr.Black Bear... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the School District of Baltimore County I order you to cease any and all ursine activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel Elementary School.

not obscure

that oughta do it
 
2012-06-08 01:35:32 PM  
it is mankinds destiny to build condominiums until no woods exist for aminals. then we'll have a show down, mano a aminalo.

/fear the carpenter, Smokey Bear
 
2012-06-08 02:04:31 PM  
img525.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-08 02:09:58 PM  
If you brought your bear to school, please bring it to the school office and properly register it.
 
2012-06-08 02:11:09 PM  

Kryllith: VimFuego: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x267]
If it was a white bear, they'd give him a ride to school.

White bears can't run 100mph.


That,my good man,is a negative stereotype of the ethnic background of white ursine..
 
2012-06-08 02:17:27 PM  

Pants_Optional: bubo_sibiricus: The bears can travel over 100 miles an hour in search of food, he said. The migration for young male bears is common in spring and early summer months as the bears look for an area of their own in search of food - which in Central Maryland can often be bird feeders, backyard grills and trash cans.

Jesus.


Jesus is right. You ever seen a fully souped up Turbo black bear come barrelling down at you on the highway? Scary stuff man
 
2012-06-08 02:32:04 PM  
Good thing it wasn't a brown bear.

i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-06-08 02:33:16 PM  
Imma let you finish, subby, but this is the best bear-wanders-around-town story. It's got bear video.
 
2012-06-08 03:45:07 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-08 09:46:26 PM  

netcentric: I'll bet there is a ton of paperwork to fill out, if a bear eats a kid on school property...


Is it more or less than if a kid eats the bear?
 
2012-06-08 10:26:11 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: When a black bear is spotted near school,


Why is the bear's race an issue?


unitedwhite.org
Unavailable for comment.
 
2012-06-09 02:08:03 AM  
my friend encountered a black bear on a trail outside seattle last weekend. backed away slowly from it, then ran like hell and climbed a tree to text his gf and google what to when you encounter a bear

csb
 
2012-06-09 02:28:04 AM  

cherrydog: my friend encountered a black bear on a trail outside seattle last weekend. backed away slowly from it, then ran like hell and climbed a tree to text his gf and google what to when you encounter a bear

csb


Don't run, don't act like prey.
Don't climb a tree to get away from a black bear (which is what western Washington has), they're built to climb.
Just announcing your presence is enough to avoid an encounter 99% of the time. It's not that they're afraid of you, it's that they just don't want to be bothered by another territorial animal that isn't competing for the same food.
 
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