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(LA Times)   TSA will no longer pat down celebrities like Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, Alan Rickman, Sean Bean, John Malkovich, Gary Oldman, Terence Stamp, Andrew Robinson, Bruce Dern, Edward Fox, Rutger Hauer   (latimes.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, TSA, celebrity  
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13171 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2012 at 9:45 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-06-08 09:50:07 AM  
8 votes:
How about Cat Stevens?

www.moonbattery.com
2012-06-08 09:28:56 AM  
8 votes:
Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton also don't get patted down, but thats just because nobody wants to touch them.
2012-06-08 09:30:32 AM  
7 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: Famous Last Words:

"Hey, that's Randy Quaid. He's was in the Independence Day film my kids liked. You don't have to pat him down."


If I'm flying with Gary Busey or Charlie Sheen you damn right I want them patted down.
2012-06-08 09:46:58 AM  
5 votes:
Rutger Hauer will, however, have to take a Voight Kampff test.
2012-06-08 09:26:53 AM  
5 votes:
Famous Last Words:

"Hey, that's Randy Quaid. He's was in the Independence Day film my kids liked. You don't have to pat him down."
2012-06-08 09:17:44 AM  
5 votes:
Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, Alan Rickman, Sean Bean, John Malkovich, Gary Oldman, Terence Stamp, Andrew Robinson, Bruce Dern, Edward Fox, Rutger Hauer

Is that the cast of The Expendables 3?
2012-06-08 09:57:43 AM  
4 votes:
But but but....what if they were coming to America to shoot a pilot?!


/The film director Mike Figgis was detained by the TSA when he said this
2012-06-08 09:23:04 AM  
4 votes:
Rutger Hauer?!? Are you sure? If we don't pat him down then he'll be even HARDER TO KILL.
2012-06-08 11:50:10 AM  
3 votes:
www.reverseshot.com

Meanwhile, in Russia:
upload.wikimedia.org
2012-06-08 10:20:02 AM  
3 votes:
Become a hobo. Get a shotgun. No more problems ever.
2012-06-08 09:51:13 AM  
3 votes:
So what they're saying is they will no longer pat down KNOWN TERRORISTS. Alan Rickman, aka the Sheriff of Nottingham, aka Hans Gruber has displayed a flagrant disregard for human life in meeting his own ends. Rutger Hauer ran away from his employers, a "prison" in his terms, with a core group of operatives to sow terror and fear among the populace, seeking vengeance for some perceived crime against him and his kind.
2012-06-08 11:47:59 AM  
2 votes:

thornhill: The real pain in the ass about TSA is the 3 oz rule.


I know what you mean. How am I supposed to control the amount of ejaculate? It just happens.
2012-06-08 11:03:30 AM  
2 votes:

BikerRay: Aarontology: Actually, this may be a good idea.

I can just become famous and then make millions smuggling cocaine.

Essentially, that's what happens with folks that have diplomatic immunity.


www.city-data.com

Agrees
2012-06-08 10:43:27 AM  
2 votes:
How about we just base it on the number of Twitter followers you have?

/TSA Agent: *checks Twitter* "42 followers? Officer Bradley, we're going to need the anal probe and a canine."
2012-06-08 10:31:38 AM  
2 votes:

Bri_Bri_Gooch: Just don't let Bruce Dern get behind the controls of a blimp.


No, just don't let your dog crap on his lawn.

i.ytimg.com

//most underrated movie ever
2012-06-08 10:11:17 AM  
2 votes:

palelizard: I've got advice for the TSA, and everyone else for that matter, who want to have a better image: don't do things that give you a bad image.


woah... that's... I need to sit down to try and take all this in....
2012-06-08 10:03:00 AM  
2 votes:
I sure hope the Democrat that runs against Rep. Mike Rogers uses that extra brain-dead statement against him this fall.

Then again, we already have TSA express lanes for the one-percenters and the sheep travelling public seem more or less OK with that...

----------------------

And also, Donald Rumsfeld? Not dangerous? REALLY? That guy is responsible for FAR more deaths of innocent civilians than Al-Qaeda could ever dream of. If we as a society are too much of a pussy to arrest him, at least we can give the guy a VERY THOROUGH colonoscopy each time he flies.


/Just to be sure, of course.
//After all, we don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.
2012-06-08 10:00:06 AM  
2 votes:
So, 'Don't you know who I am?' is now a legit complaint.
2012-06-08 09:57:37 AM  
2 votes:
www.blendmag.no

"Hey it's Faran Tahir! Go right on through sir!"

I wouldn't be the least bit happier with TSA if I see them let 'special people' zip right on through security. Fark those people. Just because you're rich, you get special exemptions? Well actualy do you, but you shouldn't get any more. If anything I would be even more pissed off. I much rather see Milla Jovich get patted down. By a hot female. Slowly. No, slower. That's right, check them boobies. Get in between those puppies and make sure she isn't hiding anything. Better get your hand up her shirt. Mmmmmmmm.
2012-06-08 09:51:39 AM  
2 votes:
"There are certain people that are just so well-known that you've just got to use your common sense," said Rep. Mike Rogers (R-Ala.), chairman of the House Homeland Security Transportation Subcommittee. "Because if you start patting them down, people are going to say, 'They're patting down Beyonce.' "I mean, she's not going to blow a plane up."

It's pretty farking obvious I'm not going to blow up a plane, either, farkstick.

What is the formula here? How famous do you have to be to get a pass?

Do D listers make the cut? Those are some angry people.
2012-06-08 09:49:32 AM  
2 votes:
"There are certain people that are just so well-known that you've just got to use your common sense," said Rep. Mike Rogers (R-Ala.), chairman of the House Homeland Security Transportation Subcommittee. "Because if you start patting them down, people are going to say, 'They're patting down Beyonce.' "I mean, she's not going to blow a plane up."

Worked well for Lincoln.
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-06-08 09:29:21 AM  
2 votes:
Well, isn't the point of laws to protect the good people from peasants like you?.
2012-06-08 12:06:14 PM  
1 vote:

Too Pretty For Prison: Just went through Orlando last week on our way back from Disney. As we approached security, my 4 kids were escorted off to the side and "mom" was asked to come over and keep the kids company. Meanwhile, I got the full back scatter. What kind of logic is that? A bunch of morons putting on a dog and pony show. Sure, I went to Disney to get tortured for a week, sunburned, loaded down with stuffed animals just so I could bring my family on a plane and kill them with a giant bomb stuffed up my ass on the way back.


A.K.A. "Going out on top."
2012-06-08 11:34:24 AM  
1 vote:

coeyagi: Bri_Bri_Gooch: Just don't let Bruce Dern get behind the controls of a blimp.

No, just don't let your dog crap on his lawn.

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

//most underrated movie ever


THIS. So many awesome lines from him in that movie.

"That's about a 9 on the tension scale, Rube."

"That piece of scum, barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my yard! I find one more, I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut!"

"Hey, Pinnochio! Where are you going!?"
2012-06-08 11:15:52 AM  
1 vote:

Thunderpipes: If we let them use common sense, liberals will scream racial profiling. They are in a bad position. They have to frisk grandma because if they only go after the people likely to commit terror, the ACLU and all you liberal sods will be screaming bloody murder for frisking shady looking Muslim dudes.


Exactly. I witnessed a WWII Vet get put through the RINGER by a TSA agent in Madison, a very small airport. He was dripping in American flags and Veteran paraphernalia. The poor guy had to be in his upper eighties and could hardly move.

He said "Son, the last time I carried a bomb anywheres was to Germany. I just wanna go to Vegas" with a wry smile.

Everyone LOL'ed....good times
2012-06-08 11:09:48 AM  
1 vote:
What about Weedlord Bonerhitler?
2012-06-08 10:52:32 AM  
1 vote:
I've felt things... you people wouldn't believe. Gloved hands up my ass like I was a puppet. I've felt another man's balls because they said I needed a "Backwards Security Screening." All those... moments will be lost in time, like tears... in rain. Time... to fly.

Also:

RaynDrahps: Because brainwashing cases like Patty Hearst never happen.


Sharp there.
2012-06-08 10:52:03 AM  
1 vote:
Yeah, good idea. And while you're at it, why don't you lower Rumsfeld's taxes, too. We don't mind, really.
2012-06-08 10:50:28 AM  
1 vote:
Yeah. Kissinger's no threat to anyone...
Right, Cambodia?
2012-06-08 10:49:28 AM  
1 vote:

DROxINxTHExWIND: How about we just base it on the number of Twitter followers you have?


Too advanced. Probably have to go with Myspace stats...
2012-06-08 10:38:19 AM  
1 vote:
"There are certain people that are just so well-known that you've just got to use your common sense," said Rep. Mike Rogers (R-Ala.),

...intuition and common sense are poor guides to security trade-offs. What might seem to be a good idea often is not, and what seems to be a bad idea sometimes is. Beware of security by intuition and of security by emotion. Beware of generalizations. Beware of seemingly unrelated complexity. - Bruce Schneier

Rogers griped that the TSA's efforts to shed its bad image were moving at a "snail's pace."

Well, that might be because they haven't stopped with the groping yet.

I like how he seems to think their "bad image" is the result of one or two bad incidents that could be pushed out of public memory with enough good PR. Surely someone with his finger on the pulse of the American people like this man is the perfect person to be making these suggestions!

"The American people are just really disgusted and outraged with the department that they see is bloated and inefficient," Rogers said.

So rather than make it less bloated and inefficient, his suggestion is to add more exceptions (aka bloat and inefficiency).

Despite public frustration with TSA, complaints filed against the agency are rare and in decline, according to U.S. Department of Homeland Security records.

I'm a perfectly honest used car salesman. Just ask my boss.
2012-06-08 10:37:26 AM  
1 vote:
www.myticketpremium.com
2012-06-08 10:31:56 AM  
1 vote:
Just went through Orlando last week on our way back from Disney. As we approached security, my 4 kids were escorted off to the side and "mom" was asked to come over and keep the kids company. Meanwhile, I got the full back scatter. What kind of logic is that? A bunch of morons putting on a dog and pony show. Sure, I went to Disney to get tortured for a week, sunburned, loaded down with stuffed animals just so I could bring my family on a plane and kill them with a giant bomb stuffed up my ass on the way back.
2012-06-08 10:29:20 AM  
1 vote:

Moopy Mac: OnlyM3: chimp_ninja

"There are certain people that are just so well-known that you've just got to use your common sense," said Rep. Mike Rogers (R-Ala.), chairman of the House Homeland Security Transportation Subcommittee. "Because if you start patting them down, people are going to say, 'They're patting down Beyonce.' "I mean, she's not going to blow a plane up."

Color me sarcastically shocked that (R-Ala.) thinks it's OK for the federal government to
Color me sarcastically shocked that liberal hypocrites ignore that it was a democrat administration that turned TSA into a grope our balls agency.

I'm very confused by this comment. The first time the TSA ever touched my genitalia was on a flight to Lubbock, Texas in November of 2002. Was I an exception or did I just get an overzealous staffer ahead of his time?


We need to know more about your genitals before we can comment further.
2012-06-08 10:19:50 AM  
1 vote:
No! Politicians and celebrities need to be put through the same bullshiat as the rest of us. Its the only way to eventually get things changed.
2012-06-08 10:19:22 AM  
1 vote:
That's exactly why the TSA has a bad image. We're mad that they won't leave famous people alone. Yup.
2012-06-08 10:17:35 AM  
1 vote:
What about Eddie Murphy? Seems like a nice guy, probably not a terrorist. But he was in Pluto Nash, one of the biggest bombs of all time. Should be TSA be letting folks involved with bombs of that magnitude get a free pass? I think not.
2012-06-08 10:12:27 AM  
1 vote:

paygun: Does anyone in that list qualify as well known for the average TSA agent?


No, but here's a new list of those they do:

blog.blogtalkradio.com

briancuban.com

newspaper.li

content6.flixster.com

images.askmen.com
2012-06-08 10:09:54 AM  
1 vote:

MyNameIsMofuga: I don't normally fap to photos of pregnant chicks being probed, but when I do....
[www.latimes.com image 600x416]


She's on the sausage diet. You get to eat a lot of stuff in great variety, and you bulk up a little for awhile, but then you lose a whole chunk of that practically overnight.

The insomnia afterwards is a biatch.
2012-06-08 10:08:56 AM  
1 vote:
I've got advice for the TSA, and everyone else for that matter, who want to have a better image: don't do things that give you a bad image.
2012-06-08 10:08:33 AM  
1 vote:

coeyagi: rufus-t-firefly: John Wilkes Booth was a famous actor. Sure, he had unpopular political views, but he was certainly no threat to the president.

Lee Harvey Oswald was in the U.S. Army. Sure, he had unpopular political views, but he was certainly no threat to the president.


Army? Army?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, if you please...

In the Marines! Outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine and his rifle can do! And before you ladies leave my island, you will all be able to do the same thing!
2012-06-08 10:05:34 AM  
1 vote:
And sure as hell we don't need to give Gallagher another list to biatch and moan about not being on.
2012-06-08 10:04:46 AM  
1 vote:
This just means that Al Qaeda will know EXACTLY who to recruit.
2012-06-08 10:04:13 AM  
1 vote:
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal that others.
2012-06-08 10:03:56 AM  
1 vote:

coeyagi: ww.latimes.com image 600x416]

She isn't pregnant, she just had a big lunch of In and Out Burger.

//on the corner of Camrose and Radford
///good farking burgers, Walter


Actually that is what it looks like when I fill a woman's womb with my seed. I literally produce 3 gallons of ejaculate during orgasm.
2012-06-08 10:01:54 AM  
1 vote:

sammyk: OtherLittleGuy:

If I'm flying with Gary Busey or Charlie Sheen you damn right I want them patted down.


T'hell you say. If I ever end up on a plane with Charlie Sheen I want him to bring aboard whatever he wants. It would make the flight far more interesting and maybe he would share.

Gary Busey...not so much...
2012-06-08 09:56:40 AM  
1 vote:
I would recognize the members of System of a Down but that doesn't mean I think they are harmless.
2012-06-08 09:56:27 AM  
1 vote:
How does it feel being a slave?
2012-06-08 09:53:19 AM  
1 vote:
John Wilkes Booth was a famous actor. Sure, he had unpopular political views, but he was certainly no threat to the president.
2012-06-08 09:52:24 AM  
1 vote:

pdee: How about Cat Stevens?


Damn it! My google-fu is inferior to yours...
2012-06-08 09:49:33 AM  
1 vote:
I don't normally fap to photos of pregnant chicks being probed, but when I do....
www.latimes.com
2012-06-08 09:48:40 AM  
1 vote:
Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking would improve the TSA. Making certain special nobility-like people exempt while the average commoner still has to deal with the TSA. That's exactly what will fix the system and nothing could go wrong with that, because double standards for certain classes have never ever angered anyone in the course of history, ever.
 
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