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(11 Alive)   Taco Bell introducing a new line of 'upscale' and 'gourmet' menu items. Order your butthole monocles now   (11alive.com) divider line 81
    More: Unlikely, Taco Bell, menu items, Chipotle Mexican Grill, Qdoba, Yum! Brands Inc.  
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2157 clicks; posted to Business » on 07 Jun 2012 at 12:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-07 10:30:44 AM
Butthole Monocles is the name of my...
 
2012-06-07 10:30:58 AM
dammit, I've got nothing
 
2012-06-07 10:32:39 AM

SmackLT: dammit, I've got nothing


Weezer?
 
2012-06-07 10:41:13 AM
img3.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-07 10:41:17 AM
The worst part about getting a butthole monocle is the cataract test where they blow bursts of cold air up your butt.
 
2012-06-07 10:42:19 AM

SmackLT: dammit, I've got nothing


Show dog. Or, huge glass buttplug.
 
2012-06-07 10:47:33 AM
www.boston.com
I say, my brown eye is positively bugging out from the new Taco Bell menu!
*PHARP*
Drat it all! I broke my butthole monocle!
 
2012-06-07 10:49:46 AM
The chain said Wednesday it plans an early July roll out of a menu addition created by celebrity chef Lorena Garcia

Who?
 
2012-06-07 10:49:53 AM
With the same 5 or 6 basic ingredients?

/pull the other one
//better yet, pull my finger
 
2012-06-07 10:57:07 AM
ok, that's just farking funny.
 
2012-06-07 11:00:29 AM

Aarontology: The worst part about getting a butthole monocle is the cataract test where they blow bursts of cold air up your butt.


The dilation process can be enjoyable, though.
 
2012-06-07 11:01:28 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: With the same 5 or 6 basic ingredients?

/pull the other one
//better yet, pull my finger


New! Lettuce on the bottom!!!
 
2012-06-07 11:10:36 AM
Now with 14% less sawdust!
 
2012-06-07 11:21:58 AM
Black beans, cilantro and lime are "gourmet"? Welcome to 1990, Taco Hell.
 
2012-06-07 11:22:06 AM

thismomentinblackhistory: MaudlinMutantMollusk: With the same 5 or 6 basic ingredients?

/pull the other one
//better yet, pull my finger

New! Lettuce on the bottom!!!


It's the new Taco Bell ¡oɔɐʇ!
 
2012-06-07 11:25:53 AM
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-07 11:50:50 AM
More testicles mean more iron.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-06-07 11:57:15 AM
I tried buying one of these Cantina Bell burritos with 3 two-dollar bills...
 
2012-06-07 11:57:52 AM
I don't know what the headline means but butthole monocles made me laugh because I am 7 years old
 
2012-06-07 12:15:30 PM

Mugato: Now with 14% less sawdust rat droppings!


FTFY
 
2012-06-07 12:17:59 PM

make me some tea: Black beans, cilantro and lime are "gourmet"? Welcome to 1990, Taco Hell.


It beats the hell out of the "Doritos on everything" direction they were going.

I mean, I'm a stoner, but come on. F*ck Doritos.
 
2012-06-07 12:45:40 PM
assets.flavorwire.com
 
2012-06-07 12:46:04 PM

SmackLT: Butthole Monocles is the name of my...


cat?

dog?

sail boat?
 
2012-06-07 12:48:16 PM
so does this mean they'll start ordering beef,and chicken, and not "meat"?
 
2012-06-07 12:52:48 PM
LMAO, just lost my butt monocle on the floor....
 
2012-06-07 12:59:08 PM
i279.photobucket.com

I'll stick with the ratburger...
 
2012-06-07 01:01:32 PM

gilgigamesh: make me some tea: Black beans, cilantro and lime are "gourmet"? Welcome to 1990, Taco Hell.

It beats the hell out of the "Doritos on everything" direction they were going.

I mean, I'm a stoner, but come on. F*ck Doritos.


And yet, it's their biggest selling taco ever.
 
2012-06-07 01:08:05 PM

make me some tea: gilgigamesh: make me some tea: Black beans, cilantro and lime are "gourmet"? Welcome to 1990, Taco Hell.

It beats the hell out of the "Doritos on everything" direction they were going.

I mean, I'm a stoner, but come on. F*ck Doritos.

And yet, it's their biggest selling taco ever.


Because it tastes delicious. That and the burrito taco are the 2 best inventions of the 21st century. Easily.
 
2012-06-07 01:21:26 PM

LL316: make me some tea: gilgigamesh: make me some tea: Black beans, cilantro and lime are "gourmet"? Welcome to 1990, Taco Hell.

It beats the hell out of the "Doritos on everything" direction they were going.

I mean, I'm a stoner, but come on. F*ck Doritos.

And yet, it's their biggest selling taco ever.

Because it tastes delicious. That and the burrito taco are the 2 best inventions of the 21st century. Easily.


Good lord.
 
2012-06-07 01:29:04 PM

SmackLT: Butthole Monocles is the name of my...


Liberace cover band
 
2012-06-07 01:37:22 PM

make me some tea: LL316: make me some tea: gilgigamesh: make me some tea: Black beans, cilantro and lime are "gourmet"? Welcome to 1990, Taco Hell.

It beats the hell out of the "Doritos on everything" direction they were going.

I mean, I'm a stoner, but come on. F*ck Doritos.

And yet, it's their biggest selling taco ever.

Because it tastes delicious. That and the burrito taco are the 2 best inventions of the 21st century. Easily.

Good lord.


Seriously. I despise doritos. I guess its just me.
 
2012-06-07 01:38:40 PM

gilgigamesh: Seriously. I despise doritos. I guess its just me.


I hate Doritos too, yuck.
 
2012-06-07 01:44:40 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: The chain said Wednesday it plans an early July roll out of a menu addition created by celebrity chef Lorena Garcia

Who?


The standards for the "celebrity chef" moniker appear to be dropping. Maybe it's affirmative action?
 
2012-06-07 01:47:15 PM
Dear Taco Bell, you're food is edible (hyperbole to the contrary) and cheap. That's all I expect from it. When I care about quality, and I'm not in the mood for a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.
 
2012-06-07 01:55:10 PM
This must mean the return of the Jack Steak is imminent.
 
2012-06-07 01:56:27 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: The chain said Wednesday it plans an early July roll out of a menu addition created by celebrity chef Lorena Garcia

Who?


Some Peruvian chick who probably speaks Mexican. Therefore, an expert.
 
2012-06-07 01:58:43 PM

Langston: SmackLT: Butthole Monocles is the name of my...

Liberace cover band


And we have a winner!!!
 
2012-06-07 02:03:39 PM

Some 'Splainin' To Do: a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.


Um. Wat?


Here's a simple rule:

No lengua, no tripas, not a real taqueria
 
2012-06-07 02:18:37 PM
I usually pick my nose & wipe the boogers on the Taco Bell counters - will this help elevate their status?

/big blobby greenies are best!
 
2012-06-07 02:22:24 PM
They need to take that Doritos taco and make it into a double decker. The cheese dust over everything is no bueno.

But after my last Bell run on the road a few weeks ago, I doubt I'd go back.

/still want my butthole monocle.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-06-07 02:23:14 PM

Meet Us at the Stick: Some 'Splainin' To Do: a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.

Um. Wat?


Here's a simple rule:

No lengua, no tripas, not a real taqueria


Here's a simpler rule: if it was once owned by McDonald's, it's not a real taqueria.
 
2012-06-07 02:26:32 PM
WhiskeySticks

They need to take that Doritos taco and make it into a double decker. The cheese dust over everything is no bueno.

But after my last Bell run on the road a few weeks ago, I doubt I'd go back.

/still want my butthole monocle.


Cut the bottom off a Budweiser bottle off and you're all set.
 
2012-06-07 02:27:33 PM

Meet Us at the Stick: Some 'Splainin' To Do: a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.

Um. Wat?


Here's a simple rule:

No lengua, no tripas, not a real taqueria


You need to work on your reading comprehension. I wasn't calling Chipotle a taqueria. I was calling it an alternative when I'm not in the mood for a taqueria.

I've lived in the South Bay Area all my life. I know what a fecking taqueria is.
 
2012-06-07 02:27:35 PM

Meet Us at the Stick: Some 'Splainin' To Do: a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.

Um. Wat?


jbc:
Here's a simpler rule: if it was once owned by McDonald's, it's not a real taqueria.


Here's the original sentence with the pertinent part bolded: "When I care about quality, and I'm not in the mood for a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle."
 
2012-06-07 02:27:52 PM
The only thing I order at Taco Bell are their regular "crunchy" tacos. I usually get about 3 of them, take them home, and toss them right into the toilet.
 
2012-06-07 02:33:53 PM

Meet Us at the Stick: Some 'Splainin' To Do: a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.

Um. Wat?


Here's a simple rule:

No lengua, no tripas, not a real taqueria


CSB

Years ago my ex and I were visiting her relatives in Stockton. Her cousin went across the street to the taco truck and came back with a couple of lengua tacos and started eating them. My ex wanted to know what they were, since he seemed to be enjoying them so much. "It's lengua", he told her. "You want to taste it?"
So, she grabs one and takes a big bite and starts chewing it. Swallowed that and started to take another bite, and asked her cousin "what did you say this was again? It's really good"
"Lengua... tongue" he answered
The shade of green she turned was both spectacular and hilarious. Not to mention not typically occurring in nature.

/CSB
 
2012-06-07 02:34:43 PM

jbc: Meet Us at the Stick: Some 'Splainin' To Do: a real taqueria, I know how to find Chipotle.

Um. Wat?


Here's a simple rule:

No lengua, no tripas, not a real taqueria

Here's a simpler rule: if it was once owned by McDonald's, it's not a real taqueria.


Chipolte is not a "real taqueria" mostly because it is not a taco shop. It's a burrito shop. It may be a corporate chain restaurant, at one time owned by the McDonalds corporation, that doesn't serve lengua or sesos, it's still pretty good.
 
2012-06-07 02:35:59 PM

Funbags: The only thing I order at Taco Bell are their regular "crunchy" tacos. I usually get about 3 of them, take them home, and toss them right into the toilet.


Is that you Carlos Mancia?
 
2012-06-07 02:57:01 PM
Local Chipotle/Qdoba knockoff thread:

mealsandmiles.com
 
2012-06-07 03:32:02 PM
Based on this definition of gourmet the taquerias in my neighborhood should have Michelin stars.
 
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