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(Daily Mail)   'Dead' Brazilian boy sits up his coffin, asks for water before lying back down lifeless. Zombie tag please?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 36
    More: Strange, Brazilians, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., respiratory failure, Tinkerbell, Cheryl Hines, dead people, Prince Philip, medical malpractice  
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25524 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2012 at 3:56 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-07 04:09:47 AM  
28 votes:
Make a helicopter out of him.
2012-06-07 12:50:59 AM  
28 votes:
Abra cadaver!
2012-06-07 04:28:43 AM  
21 votes:

Hand Banana: Ambivalence: Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake

If you read the article you'd notice the body wasn't embalmed, they literally just handed it over to the family. Dead bodies can do some strange things when they're decomposing.

Ambivalence: Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake

If you read the article you'd notice the body wasn't embalmed, they literally just handed it over to the family. Dead bodies can do some strange things when they're decomposing.

Like asking "Daddy, can I have some water?"


It's just gas escaping. I worked in a morgue for three years, you see shiat like this happen ALL the time. Once a dead man woke up and played two full games of chess with me. Collapsed in the middle of our tiebreaker. The whole ordeal: gas escaping.
GBB
2012-06-07 06:03:09 AM  
6 votes:
t1.gstatic.com

Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for?

"WATER!!"
xcv
2012-06-07 05:14:41 AM  
5 votes:
Funerals may not be the best place to practice ventriloquy.
2012-06-07 06:59:14 AM  
4 votes:
Wow, they really DO want ice water....
2012-06-07 10:22:53 AM  
3 votes:
DON'T give him the water. An hour later he'll be up asking to use the bathroom.
2012-06-07 04:25:23 AM  
3 votes:
2. The Double Tap
2012-06-07 09:35:44 AM  
2 votes:
....and that's why they call it a "wake."
2012-06-07 09:22:08 AM  
2 votes:
image.yaymicro.com
What the inside of the coffin lid may look like.
2012-06-07 08:26:17 AM  
2 votes:
i85.photobucket.com
Well... did they give him a glass of water?
2012-06-07 08:01:28 AM  
2 votes:
cuppacafe.com
2012-06-07 07:54:39 AM  
2 votes:

Eps05: Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake

Probably has something to do with metric farktons of incense and dreamstate-enhanced hallucinations. And everyone knows religious people are believe-first, don't bother about questions.

/a wizard did it


miracles do seem to occur more often in third world countries. that's because spoiled, jaded first worlders have abandoned their faith and become godless sinners. the old country faithful still have eyes and ears, and their purity allows them to witness the fantastic.
2012-06-07 06:45:52 AM  
2 votes:

kg2095: Bong Hits For Mohammed: This little snippet just gave me a first class case of the creeps.

I feel sick to the stomach thinking he may just be catatonic and they've buried him.


I don't think you have to worry about that. The boy was handed over to the dad in a plastic bag. Even if he had been alive when the doctors stuck him in there that tends to render you dead rather quickly. I have been around some quite dead people when their family members insisted they could hear them breathing, talking, etc... Grief plays some strange tricks on the mind. Finally, I would think that anyone would wait more than an hour to stick a kid in the ground who had already proven once to only be mostly dead. Anyway, the kid clearly said "to bluff" in Portugese.
2012-06-07 04:37:05 AM  
2 votes:

Oznog: Seems kinda odd that, if waking up from a coma, that you'd sit up and ask for water. I mean, calling out for Mom and Dad, or asking what's happening. But just "hey, can I get some water here, uh never mind... (thud)". I'm not saying it's impossible, but sounds odd.


Because when you are in a coma you don't know about all the time that has passed. You wake up at the same time that you went to sleep.
And he's just two. Probably only knows "water" "poo poo" "pee pee" and "damn, look at those titties!"

I just hope they embalmed him before they buried him, or he's going to hit his head when he sits up again.
2012-06-07 04:25:21 AM  
2 votes:

Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake



I would say it's equally possible that a two year old boy had a very terrifying suffocation death.

Here's what passes for due diligence when your kid wakes up from the dead:

FTA - "The boy's family decided to delay the funeral for an hour in the hope that he would wake up again"


"okey-dokey, my boy... you got till this episode of Law & Order is over to snap out of it, then you going in the ground."
2012-06-07 01:18:30 AM  
2 votes:

Midnight Rambler: Abra cadaver!


Well played. I was fascinated by how he learned to speak English when dead.
2012-06-07 11:06:56 PM  
1 votes:

kg2095: I think the bell would ring by being blown by the wind. There must have been a lot of false alarms and digging up of corpses.


Nah, they're pretty quiet when you take the clappers out.
2012-06-07 02:48:49 PM  
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2012-06-07 11:00:28 AM  
1 votes:
Someone just saw that episode of The Simpsons one too many times. I'd be lying if I said I've never been tempted to try it at a funeral.

i45.tinypic.com

/legend of the dog-faced woman
2012-06-07 09:32:38 AM  
1 votes:
Probably asking Pei Mei now...
2012-06-07 09:22:52 AM  
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.google.com

HERE'S YOU SON!

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
2012-06-07 09:14:37 AM  
1 votes:

wildsnowllama: Hand Banana: Ambivalence: Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake

If you read the article you'd notice the body wasn't embalmed, they literally just handed it over to the family. Dead bodies can do some strange things when they're decomposing.

Ambivalence: Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake

If you read the article you'd notice the body wasn't embalmed, they literally just handed it over to the family. Dead bodies can do some strange things when they're decomposing.

Like asking "Daddy, can I have some water?"

It's just gas escaping. I worked in a morgue for three years, you see shiat like this happen ALL the time. Once a dead man woke up and played two full games of chess with me. Collapsed in the middle of our tiebreaker. The whole ordeal: gas escaping.


Yeah, you know how most homes have a "quiet room" where families can grieve in private that always has a TV so they can keep up on the hockey while they're "grieving"? Well, the damn corpses would keep on complaining that the volume was too loud, or could I please turn it up, or walking in and changing it over to "Barney Miller" or even worse "Barnaby Jones" and eating half my damn chips.
All gas.
2012-06-07 08:52:56 AM  
1 votes:

GoldDude: [i85.photobucket.com image 500x250]
Well... did they give him a glass of water?


Jesus man, some things you don't talk about in public!
2012-06-07 08:50:10 AM  
1 votes:
That's what happens in countries that use embalming fluid mixed from cocoa beans and guava.
2012-06-07 08:45:35 AM  
1 votes:
I'll wait for the Weekly World News article before I believe this one.
2012-06-07 08:14:48 AM  
1 votes:
A pint . . . of stout . . .

/ Please tell me that's not obscure.
2012-06-07 07:56:16 AM  
1 votes:

xcv: Funerals may not be the best place to practice ventriloquy.


Au contraire, funerals are the best place to practice ventriloquy!

Getting the corpse to say "My wife poisoned meeee~" would have hilarious consequences.
GBB
2012-06-07 07:48:36 AM  
1 votes:

zcarzach: GBB: [t1.gstatic.com image 302x167]

Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for?

"WATER!!"

He clearly said "To Blave", and as we all know to blave means to bluff. So the kid was probably playing cards, and he cheated.


LIAR!!!!
2012-06-07 07:29:01 AM  
1 votes:
Kid: Psych!

MrDon: The very first thing they taught us in mortuary science college was verifing that the person you are about to embalm is in fact dead


Well, if you go ahead and embalm them, you will know they are dead for sure. Saves time.
2012-06-07 07:27:40 AM  
1 votes:

GBB: [t1.gstatic.com image 302x167]

Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for?

"WATER!!"


He clearly said "To Blave", and as we all know to blave means to bluff. So the kid was probably playing cards, and he cheated.
2012-06-07 04:41:19 AM  
1 votes:

The Southern Dandy: Did he feel like going for a walk?


No. But he "feels happy."
2012-06-07 04:34:18 AM  
1 votes:

MadSkillz: shiatty doctor?


shiatty journalism.
2012-06-07 03:43:35 AM  
1 votes:
If he had asked for brains, I'd be worried
2012-06-07 01:57:34 AM  
1 votes:

Elzar: Funny how this shiat only happens in 3rd world countries in a religious setting no less...

/ Not saying its fake, but its fake


If you read the article you'd notice the body wasn't embalmed, they literally just handed it over to the family. Dead bodies can do some strange things when they're decomposing.
2012-06-07 12:58:52 AM  
1 votes:
shiatty doctor?
 
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