Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KVAL Eugene)   Dear residents of Salem, Oregon: before calling police to report a "cougar" sighting in someone's yard, check twice to be sure it's not a domestic cat. With photo of the creature   (kval.com) divider line 185
    More: Dumbass, sightings, cougars  
•       •       •

24181 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2012 at 6:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



185 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-06 09:37:18 PM  
Maybe its owners should think about getting a collar before they let it wander around outside.
 
2012-06-06 09:45:24 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Maybe its owners should think about getting a collar before they let it wander around outside.


Good idea, but I've still seen a lot of collar-less cats in my time. I don't recall ever confusing one for a mountain lion.
 
2012-06-06 11:06:51 PM  
JESUS CHRIST! IT'S A CAT! Get in the car. Or not.
 
2012-06-07 12:03:51 AM  
Just in time for Caturday!
 
2012-06-07 02:04:19 AM  
Damn alarmists!
 
2012-06-07 02:32:53 AM  
Amateurs.
 
2012-06-07 02:59:27 AM  
You're a kitty!
 
2012-06-07 03:26:03 AM  
Maine Coon thread!
 
2012-06-07 05:54:39 AM  
Nice way to act like a dick, subs

Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead. Are you happy bout that, subs?
 
2012-06-07 06:16:18 AM  
I can haz cougar thread ?
 
2012-06-07 06:20:04 AM  

cman: Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead.


Pretty sure they won't mistakenly think a real cougar is a housecat. A least not while sober.
 
2012-06-07 06:22:12 AM  
For some reason I'm reminded of that scene from "Soul Man".

"We should get an ocelot."
 
2012-06-07 06:23:40 AM  

Jirafa: cman: Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead.

Pretty sure they won't mistakenly think a real cougar is a housecat. A least not while sober.


FFS...

what the hell am I always doing wrong? Is my satire not that obvious or something?

I aint mad at you, I am pretty annoyed that I cannot find ways to communicate to people when my intent is satire without using "I kid" at the end
 
2012-06-07 06:24:31 AM  
Can't blame subby for putting forth this article, really. I'm from Salem, and the Derp runs deep here. Odds are this person didn't even think it might be a Maine-Coon before calling the authorities.
 
2012-06-07 06:25:26 AM  
30.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-06-07 06:27:03 AM  

cman: Nice way to act like a dick, subs

Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead. Are you happy bout that, subs?


2/10
 
2012-06-07 06:28:07 AM  
How did my pussy get to
Oregon?
 
2012-06-07 06:28:49 AM  

cman: what the hell am I always doing wrong? Is my satire not that obvious or something?

I aint mad at you, I am pretty annoyed that I cannot find ways to communicate to people when my intent is satire without using "I kid" at the end


Honestly, no, it's not obvious.

Remember Poe's Law. This is the internet, and worse, this is Fark. There are plenty of posters here who would say really jerk-ass things just to say them, or say them and seem to sincerely believe them. If you're being satirically jerk-like, a disclaimer goes a LONG way to clearing that up.

/This is what a disclaimer might look like, if there was one behind this slash.
 
2012-06-07 06:31:17 AM  

MmmmBacon: Can't blame subby for putting forth this article, really. I'm from Salem, and the Derp runs deep here. Odds are this person didn't even think it might be a Maine-Coon before calling the authorities.


Odds are the person has never even heard of a Maine-Coon. I could maybe see making this mistake during twilight when you can't see it clearly. Distance could have been a factor too. If you click on the link in the article it goes to the original article with some more photos. When the photos are small it looks more cougar-like (especially the still image on the video in page before you play it), but it becomes obvious its a domestic when you make the images bigger.
 
2012-06-07 06:33:15 AM  
Worst we had on Long Island was the occasional fox.

Though now that I'm in NC, I've heard growls at night that sound like sound effects from the tv show Manimal. We're talking guttural.

/I don't go outside at night anymore
 
2012-06-07 06:34:15 AM  
So, my house is basically in the middle of a two and a half acre grassy field. It's a pain to keep up but when the lawn is freshly mowed it looks like I'm living in a nice little park.

Mr. Tealeaf was chatting with our neighbors from across the street. They pointed to a grey and white quadruped wandering around in our field. "So, when did you get the goat? I didn't even know you could keep goats in the city limits."

Puzzled, Mr. Tealeaf peered at the alleged goat. " Oh, that's Bruce. He's actually more of a cat."

Bruce is more than a little fat, but still, not exactly what you'd call goat sized. Or even especailly goat shaped.

/true (and presumably cool) story
 
2012-06-07 06:34:23 AM  
Bath salts.
 
2012-06-07 06:35:47 AM  
What a cougar might look like: Cougars
 
2012-06-07 06:36:10 AM  
That's no ordinary kitty!

seriousmovielover.com
 
2012-06-07 06:37:06 AM  
Wow.

And just think, folks: These people have just as much say in who is the next President as you do!
 
2012-06-07 06:37:35 AM  
Having lived in Salem and being a cat owner, I'm really getting a kick out of this thread.

/have a fat tabby, too
 
2012-06-07 06:38:19 AM  
Gang of Cats 'the Size of Dogs' Threatens Aussie Neighborhood Link

Big cats prowl the bush Link
 
2012-06-07 06:39:32 AM  

Coelacanth: Gang of Cats 'the Size of Dogs' Threatens Aussie Neighborhood Link

Big cats prowl the bush Link


It's Australia. Everything there is deadly. I think even Aussie toddlers are venomous.
 
2012-06-07 06:42:49 AM  
I think I saw Courtney Cox rooting around in my trash last night. I'm going to tag her and study her habits.
 
2012-06-07 06:47:16 AM  
steerforth

How did my pussy get to
Oregon?


By way of the mighty meat train.
 
2012-06-07 06:47:27 AM  

cman: Jirafa: cman: Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead.

Pretty sure they won't mistakenly think a real cougar is a housecat. A least not while sober.

FFS...

what the hell am I always doing wrong? Is my satire not that obvious or something?

I aint mad at you, I am pretty annoyed that I cannot find ways to communicate to people when my intent is satire without using "I kid" at the end


I got the satire...But I also know your handle, so that helps. :)

Perception is a funny thing. It's like how some people see a wild beast when it's really just a house pet....

/also like rain on your wedding day
 
2012-06-07 06:47:29 AM  

cman: Nice way to act like a dick, subs

Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead. Are you happy bout that, subs?


As long as dicks like you feel ashamed, it's all good.
 
2012-06-07 06:54:28 AM  
Why don't birds ever come to our feeder anymore?
 
2012-06-07 07:08:53 AM  

cman: Jirafa: cman: Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead.

Pretty sure they won't mistakenly think a real cougar is a housecat. A least not while sober.

FFS...

what the hell am I always doing wrong? Is my satire not that obvious or something?

I aint mad at you, I am pretty annoyed that I cannot find ways to communicate to people when my intent is satire without using "I kid" at the end


Try using "⸮" If nothing else people will Google it and learn about a new type of punctuation.
 
2012-06-07 07:11:35 AM  
Maine Coons are freakin' huge. I can see one being mistaken for a Bobcat. Though not a cougar.
 
2012-06-07 07:11:47 AM  

cman: Jirafa: cman: Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead.

Pretty sure they won't mistakenly think a real cougar is a housecat. A least not while sober.

FFS...

what the hell am I always doing wrong? Is my satire not that obvious or something?

I aint mad at you, I am pretty annoyed that I cannot find ways to communicate to people when my intent is satire without using "I kid" at the end


I just assumed you were trolling. Never know what you are going to catch if you don't try.
 
2012-06-07 07:12:24 AM  
What a cougar may look like:

blueprintprojectz.com
 
2012-06-07 07:13:48 AM  

Shadowknight: I think even Aussie toddlers are venomous


As long as you remove the poison sac before eating they're great BBQed

/ I think our reputation keeps the derp tourists away
//or they die when they get here
 
2012-06-07 07:15:25 AM  

Shadowknight: It's Australia. Everything there is deadly. I think even Aussie toddlers are venomous.


It's true. Our toddlers don't lose their fangs until their third birthday.
 
2012-06-07 07:16:25 AM  
My Shadow cat, who passed over the rainbow bridge last fall, was 24 lbs at his prime. But no one ever mistook him for a cougar. As he was a mixxed breed he had the size and shape of a coon cat but he was a tuxedo cat. I adopted him from the shelter and had him for 17 years.

/still miss him. ;-(
 
2012-06-07 07:19:50 AM  
Maine Coons are so awesome, it freaks me out that my current cat is only 7lbs.
 
2012-06-07 07:19:54 AM  
Mandatory 30 second advertisements stet at Max volume by defult make baby jebus cry.

I hate americanstyle marketing
 
2012-06-07 07:22:40 AM  
I love my Maine coon. He had cornered a mouse the other day. In attempting the normal cat 'paw batting', he swatted the mouse 5' across the room and knocked it out cold as it clunked against the wall.

Then the Pomeranian did what they do best and ran in to steal the mouse.
 
2012-06-07 07:26:34 AM  

hbk72777: Worst we had on Long Island was the occasional fox.

Though now that I'm in NC, I've heard growls at night that sound like sound effects from the tv show Manimal. We're talking guttural.

/I don't go outside at night anymore


You know what the snook wants.
 
2012-06-07 07:28:04 AM  

MmmmBacon: Can't blame subby for putting forth this article, really. I'm from Salem, and the Derp runs deep here. Odds are this person didn't even think it might be a Maine-Coon before calling the authorities.


Probably. Because if they did think it was a Maine Coon then it would have been odd to call.
 
2012-06-07 07:32:28 AM  

cman: Jirafa: cman: Shaming someone who is taking precautions may end up costing this person to not call in something they find dangerous. So, when a real mountain lion comes down to their house, they are now dead.

Pretty sure they won't mistakenly think a real cougar is a housecat. A least not while sober.

FFS...

what the hell am I always doing wrong? Is my satire not that obvious or something?

I aint mad at you, I am pretty annoyed that I cannot find ways to communicate to people when my intent is satire without using "I kid" at the end


Yep, I missed it. It sounds too much like real derp. Come to think of it, that could be a useful skill all on its own: the ability to create truly convincing faux-derp.

mekki: Maine Coons are freakin' huge. I can see one being mistaken for a Bobcat. Though not a cougar.


I agree. Maybe the person who reported it isn't familiar with the distinction between a bobcat and a cougar, and thinks all wild cats are automatically the puma variety.
 
2012-06-07 07:35:35 AM  
So lemme get this straight. Someone in Salem is making exaggerated/false claims?

This is a repeat from 1692. Good goin' mods!
 
2012-06-07 07:36:10 AM  

johnson442: What a cougar may look like:

[blueprintprojectz.com image 425x319]


What a majestic beast. It stirs my heart to know that our nation nurtures such wildlife.
 
2012-06-07 07:36:24 AM  
My Maine Coon is a great cat. He's quite smart, but incredibly naive.

He's a big cat (17lbs) but despite how he thinks of himself, he's not a lion (mountain or otherwise).


Speaking of Maine Coons vs mountain lions, here's a story (w/ video)
 
2012-06-07 07:37:06 AM  
So, Demi Moore is out of rehab now?
 
Displayed 50 of 185 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report