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(Topless Robot)   In a perfect world, Agent Coulson from "The Avengers" would get this spinoff movie   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 75
    More: Amusing, S.H.I.E.L.D., spin-off, Army of Darkness  
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7915 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Jun 2012 at 4:35 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-06 04:09:14 PM
I was in the hospital for a couple days a few years ago and unable to change the channel on the tv so whenever I see that guy I can only see Elaine's lame ex-husband from The New Adventures of Old Christine.
 
2012-06-06 04:26:25 PM
I'd rather S.H.I.E.L.D. saved his brainwaves or some shiat and he comes back as The Vision. Maybe have it so he only turns red and has black eyes when he is in fighting form. Have him look and act like Coulson when in civvies. And ditch the lame uni also.
 
2012-06-06 04:31:03 PM

Mugato: I was in the hospital for a couple days a few years ago and unable to change the channel on the tv so whenever I see that guy I can only see Elaine's lame ex-husband from The New Adventures of Old Christine.


Can you see the director of the under-appreciated "Choke"?
 
2012-06-06 04:39:00 PM
That's a cool shirt.
 
2012-06-06 04:43:56 PM
Simple: Agent Coulson becomes the handler for the NEXTWAVE squad.
 
2012-06-06 04:55:46 PM
Off screen death. He'll be back.
 
2012-06-06 04:57:20 PM
He's going to be Vision. Duh.
 
2012-06-06 04:59:34 PM
I so hope he becomes Vision. That would make this nerd happy.
 
2012-06-06 05:00:28 PM
The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ
 
2012-06-06 05:02:52 PM
I really don't understand the amount of love that this character gets. He's secondary at best, and less important than Fury or Widow in the story. Killing him off was a 'whatever' moment to me, and I found it kind of stupid that it's what the team ended up rallying around.

Otherwise loved the movie, and all the originals.
 
2012-06-06 05:06:48 PM
He didnt die in Avengers either. That was his LMD.
 
2012-06-06 05:11:06 PM
You people should have said *Spoiler Alert.*

I haven't seen the movie yet and this is the first I've heard that he dies. Then again, if I couldn't prioritize my movie-viewing better, I guess I deserve it.
 
2012-06-06 05:22:08 PM

homarjr: I really don't understand the amount of love that this character gets. He's secondary at best, and less important than Fury or Widow in the story. Killing him off was a 'whatever' moment to me, and I found it kind of stupid that it's what the team ended up rallying around.

Otherwise loved the movie, and all the originals.


They found motivation in one agent dying, rather than the handful that Loki kills in the beginning, or the almost surely dozens that died when the facility collapsed.

OR

All the SHIELD agents that died when Hawkeye attacked.

No. Just Coulsen.
 
2012-06-06 05:23:08 PM

kronicfeld: Mugato: I was in the hospital for a couple days a few years ago and unable to change the channel on the tv so whenever I see that guy I can only see Elaine's lame ex-husband from The New Adventures of Old Christine.

Can you see the director of the under-appreciated "Choke"?


That was a dope flick. The blonde chick from Community got her tits out in it. Also other things happened that I don't remember as well.
 
2012-06-06 05:36:57 PM

FinFangFark: homarjr: I really don't understand the amount of love that this character gets. He's secondary at best, and less important than Fury or Widow in the story. Killing him off was a 'whatever' moment to me, and I found it kind of stupid that it's what the team ended up rallying around.

Otherwise loved the movie, and all the originals.

They found motivation in one agent dying, rather than the handful that Loki kills in the beginning, or the almost surely dozens that died when the facility collapsed.

OR

All the SHIELD agents that died when Hawkeye attacked.

No. Just Coulsen.


He was one that everybody knew and had some kind of connection with.

Tony knew him the longest, that's why he was the most disturbed by it.

Cap got motivated by the bloody Captain America trading cards (Mint condition!).

Hawkeye and Widow knew him as a colleague in the organization.

Thor knew him as the Son of Coul, and got the unpleaseantness of watching helplessly as Loki skewers him.

But don't let me interrupt your whinging and hating of something popular now.

/There's a crack theory that he's still alive... We don't actually see the medics themselves "call it", we don't see a body bag, and Fury already lied once about where the cards were when Coulson bought it.
 
2012-06-06 05:40:36 PM

FinFangFark: homarjr: I really don't understand the amount of love that this character gets. He's secondary at best, and less important than Fury or Widow in the story. Killing him off was a 'whatever' moment to me, and I found it kind of stupid that it's what the team ended up rallying around.

Otherwise loved the movie, and all the originals.

They found motivation in one agent dying, rather than the handful that Loki kills in the beginning, or the almost surely dozens that died when the facility collapsed.

OR

All the SHIELD agents that died when Hawkeye attacked.

No. Just Coulsen.


THIS. Jesus Christ, this! It was a giganticly lame moment. Took me out of the movie right away.

Also, Coulson was MUCH better when he was a lovable bumbling idiot, not this pseudo badass wannabe they turned him in Thor and Avengers.

Also, he's a low dosage character. Too much Coulson and it becomes a chore.
 
2012-06-06 05:41:26 PM

MadCat221:
/There's a crack theory that he's still alive... We don't actually see the medics themselves "call it", we don't see a body bag, and Fury already lied once about where the cards were when Coulson bought it.


Exactly. Fury saying he was dead was made over the radio, for everyone to hear.

/And it was Marvel who planned his "death", not Joss Whedon. They planned it for a reason....
 
2012-06-06 05:41:43 PM
Life Model Decoy, that is all
 
2012-06-06 05:44:10 PM

Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ


I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."
 
2012-06-06 05:45:34 PM
you guys know he's not dead right? he's retired with a new name living on some island boinking island chicks. medics were working on him. you don't just call it 10 seconds after some one loses consciousness. Fury dug his rap and started pushing it to get the avengers in line.
 
2012-06-06 05:46:42 PM
LMDs. Wonderful things.

I'd actually be down for an "Agent of SHIELD" movie starring Coulson as the bad-ass field agent Fury once was was back in the 60's-70's, taking down Hydra, or AIM.

But the reason he's been so memorable in these movies is because he's Normal Guy amidst these larger than life heroes, who reacts nonchalantly to these goings on. I'm not sure that could sustain a 90+ minute movie. He's sort of one-note so far.

As I said in the Black Panther thread, though, I think the best option is to leave him dead. Instead, using Christopher Priest's run of Black Panther as inspiration, tell the story of Agent Coulson's new replacement, and his first major assignment is escorting the King of Wakanda during his US visit. Sort of like a superhero-style "Rush Hour."

This way, Panther gets to retain his mysterious bad-ass persona, and we still get a POV character. win/win.
 
2012-06-06 05:51:59 PM

Uncle Pooky: Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ

I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."


One of the first Marvel comics I ever read was Fantastic Four #144. I expressed surprise to my Marvel reading buddy that they would kill a major character like Doctor Doom.

He laughed.
 
2012-06-06 05:54:58 PM

Uncle Pooky: Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ

I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."


You're talking about a genre where superheroes can be put through a meat grinder, baked into a pie and eaten by Galactus, and still come back to life later. Of course it's not enough.
 
2012-06-06 05:56:51 PM

xant: You're talking about a genre where superheroes can be put through a meat grinder, baked into a pie and eaten by Galactus, and still come back to life later. Of course it's not enough.


I think I may have found a weak link in your chain.
 
2012-06-06 05:59:07 PM
I really don't understand the amount of love this movie gets. It's not bad. It's just...really average. And why so many cheesy one-liners? Especially at the most inappropriate times. It's more like 60s Batman than anything - a bunch of big stars shamelessly mugging for the camera. The worst is when Agent Coulson's (supposedly) next to last words on screen was yet another cheesey one-liner ("So that's what it does," or whatever he said). And wow - Thor swinging his hammer before he flies off is one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever seen in a movie. It was a good popcorn movie, but I groaned about every 5 minutes. What room full of 12-14 year old boys wrote the dialogue?

I can see why it's a hit movie and I'm not trashing it. But I'll be fine never seeing it again - it's as forgettable as anything Michael Bay has ever done. I guess I don't understand why it's on track to be maybe the second or third biggest movie ever.
 
2012-06-06 05:59:09 PM

eddievercetti: Life Model Decoy, that is all


This. Hell, Fury may have been one in all the films so far.
 
2012-06-06 06:01:33 PM

hogans: eddievercetti: Life Model Decoy, that is all

This. Hell, Fury may have been one in all the films so far.


You guys. Guys.
WHAT IF COULSON WAS THE REAL NICK FURY ALL ALONG?!
 
2012-06-06 06:04:23 PM

Uncle Pooky: Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ

I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."


It was the same argument as Two Face not dying. Pretty funny.
 
2012-06-06 06:05:04 PM

velvet_fog: I really don't understand the amount of love this movie gets. It's not bad. It's just...really average. And why so many cheesy one-liners? Especially at the most inappropriate times. It's more like 60s Batman than anything - a bunch of big stars shamelessly mugging for the camera. The worst is when Agent Coulson's (supposedly) next to last words on screen was yet another cheesey one-liner ("So that's what it does," or whatever he said). And wow - Thor swinging his hammer before he flies off is one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever seen in a movie. It was a good popcorn movie, but I groaned about every 5 minutes. What room full of 12-14 year old boys wrote the dialogue?

I can see why it's a hit movie and I'm not trashing it. But I'll be fine never seeing it again - it's as forgettable as anything Michael Bay has ever done. I guess I don't understand why it's on track to be maybe the second or third biggest movie ever.


You sure have a lot to say about a movie you don't like.
 
2012-06-06 06:12:08 PM
I bought it. I'm a consumer whore. Long time comic book nerd. There's a monster inside of me. He makes me buy things I don't need.
 
2012-06-06 06:26:09 PM

Electriclectic: tell the story of Agent Coulson's new replacement, and his first major assignment is escorting the King of Wakanda during his US visit. Sort of like a superhero-style "Rush Hour."


No. Just...no. It's getting a bit tedious to see American cities constantly under threat from superheroes. Oh it's Gotham/New York/Metropolis under threat... again. Big whoop.

If they do Black Panther the thing needs to be set in Africa. You remember the bad gun-running Africans in District 9? That's the kind of shiat Black Panther should be taking down, evil gun runners/blood diamond scum ravaging Africa. It'd at least be a bit more relevant and resonating for protagonist and the audience that way.
 
2012-06-06 06:33:58 PM
Couldn't be any worse than Avengers.
 
2012-06-06 06:36:46 PM

rocky_howard: Also, Coulson was MUCH better when he was a lovable bumbling idiot, not this pseudo badass wannabe they turned him in Thor and Avengers.


When was he a bumbling idiot?
 
2012-06-06 06:37:40 PM

Poopy MacPoop: kronicfeld: Mugato: I was in the hospital for a couple days a few years ago and unable to change the channel on the tv so whenever I see that guy I can only see Elaine's lame ex-husband from The New Adventures of Old Christine.

Can you see the director of the under-appreciated "Choke"?

That was a dope flick. The blonde chick from Community got her tits out in it. Also other things happened that I don't remember as well.


"I'm not a lawnmower! Jesus!"

Fun movie.
 
2012-06-06 06:45:38 PM

MadCat221: FinFangFark: homarjr: I really don't understand the amount of love that this character gets. He's secondary at best, and less important than Fury or Widow in the story. Killing him off was a 'whatever' moment to me, and I found it kind of stupid that it's what the team ended up rallying around.

Otherwise loved the movie, and all the originals.

They found motivation in one agent dying, rather than the handful that Loki kills in the beginning, or the almost surely dozens that died when the facility collapsed.

OR

All the SHIELD agents that died when Hawkeye attacked.

No. Just Coulsen.

He was one that everybody knew and had some kind of connection with.

Tony knew him the longest, that's why he was the most disturbed by it.

Cap got motivated by the bloody Captain America trading cards (Mint condition!).

Hawkeye and Widow knew him as a colleague in the organization.

Thor knew him as the Son of Coul, and got the unpleaseantness of watching helplessly as Loki skewers him.

But don't let me interrupt your whinging and hating of something popular now.

/There's a crack theory that he's still alive... We don't actually see the medics themselves "call it", we don't see a body bag, and Fury already lied once about where the cards were when Coulson bought it.


would have been so easy to have someone see his cards and say "Coulson's gonna be pissed when he wakes up and sees what you did to his cards."
 
2012-06-06 06:47:12 PM
I love the idea of an ordinary human in a super world rising to power, being a 'super hero' himself through determination, luck, smarts, cunning, and planning.

But without being Fury or batman. Without an endless magical budget and magic toys which account for a super power all on thier own.

Just simple, pragmatic, dude. I guess almost the super-version of Eureka's first few seasons, only instead of the main character being a clueless dude in a super world, he'd be competent, not the comedic foil come hero.
 
2012-06-06 06:50:33 PM

9beers: Couldn't be any worse than Avengers.


Think I have you figured out now. Not biting.
 
2012-06-06 07:37:40 PM

BafflerMeal: rocky_howard: Also, Coulson was MUCH better when he was a lovable bumbling idiot, not this pseudo badass wannabe they turned him in Thor and Avengers.

When was he a bumbling idiot?


I was about to ask this, too. Is "...I'm going to taze you and watch 'Supernanny' while you drool into the carpet." bumbling idiocy?

/ It was loveable, though.
// COULSON LIVES
 
2012-06-06 07:54:00 PM

Uncle Pooky: Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ

I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."


I'm not saying it's comic books,
smalltownrevelations.files.wordpress.com
but it's comic books.
 
2012-06-06 07:57:51 PM

Uncle Pooky: Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ

I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."


www.wearysloth.com
As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined him, and he's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.
 
2012-06-06 08:00:17 PM

BafflerMeal: rocky_howard: Also, Coulson was MUCH better when he was a lovable bumbling idiot, not this pseudo badass wannabe they turned him in Thor and Avengers.

When was he a bumbling idiot?


Marginally Dissatisfied Mike: BafflerMeal: rocky_howard: Also, Coulson was MUCH better when he was a lovable bumbling idiot, not this pseudo badass wannabe they turned him in Thor and Avengers.

When was he a bumbling idiot?

I was about to ask this, too. Is "...I'm going to taze you and watch 'Supernanny' while you drool into the carpet." bumbling idiocy?

/ It was loveable, though.
// COULSON LIVES


Maybe idiot wasn't the right word, but in Iron-Man 1 and 2 he seemed like this somewhat awkward lowkey timid boring little man. Someone who does it missionary style every time.The way he said the SHIELD tongue twister. His wide eyed naivette. He was pretty lovable.

Then in Thor he was made out to be a badass wannabe.
 
2012-06-06 08:01:26 PM

skodabunny: Electriclectic: tell the story of Agent Coulson's new replacement, and his first major assignment is escorting the King of Wakanda during his US visit. Sort of like a superhero-style "Rush Hour."

No. Just...no. It's getting a bit tedious to see American cities constantly under threat from superheroes. Oh it's Gotham/New York/Metropolis under threat... again. Big whoop.

If they do Black Panther the thing needs to be set in Africa. You remember the bad gun-running Africans in District 9? That's the kind of shiat Black Panther should be taking down, evil gun runners/blood diamond scum ravaging Africa. It'd at least be a bit more relevant and resonating for protagonist and the audience that way.


Yes but when they show such places there is an outcry at showing the squalor and/or lawlessness of these downtrodden areas of the earth. IIRC some indian group complained about the slums in the Avengers movie.
 
2012-06-06 08:13:00 PM
Interesting side note: A good friend of mine runs the T-shirt company that is selling the shirt.
http://www.riptapparel.com/
I'm not one for shameless promotion but they do amazing stuff, their shirts are cheap in price but high in quality.

/only posting because I saw my friends company
//Do love the whole universe marvel is creating with their film franchise.
///carry on
 
2012-06-06 08:16:17 PM
First of all, Coulson is Vision. Everyone can stop discussing that now.

Secondly,

rocky_howard: Maybe idiot wasn't the right word, but in Iron-Man 1 and 2 he seemed like this somewhat awkward lowkey timid boring little man. Someone who does it missionary style every time.The way he said the SHIELD tongue twister. His wide eyed naivette. He was pretty lovable.


...or he's simply unflappable. This is a government agent, trusted with some of the most dangerous information on the planet, who sees things what are physically and theoretically impossible on a daily basis. If I'd had near death experiences with supernatural powers, and was responsible in no small way for corralling said forces and getting them to work with the US government, there probably wouldn't be a lot that ruffled my feathers either, and no ego that was too intimidating to talk to. It also plays into his utter adoration of Cap- he's "Our Superhero", not a rogue scientist or brash inventor or extradimensional god.

Or he's a robot, and always has been.

/see also: "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer"
 
2012-06-06 08:17:03 PM

Orgasmatron138: Uncle Pooky: Stinkbeard: The Son of Cole is not dead.

1) We didn't see him die.
B) Fury is a liar.
iii) He is the best thing in any Marvel movie he is in.

/except RDJ

I love when people make this argument. Was the last breath/tear streaming shot not enough? I guess a character has to be shown hooked up to a flatlining heart monitor and then in a casket at a funeral in order for the death to be "real."

It was the same argument as Two Face not dying. Pretty funny.


They have changed the WIKI page swince just after the movie's release, but it said he has already signed to do Iron Man 3
 
2012-06-06 08:20:01 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: 9beers: Couldn't be any worse than Avengers.

Think I have you figured out now. Not biting.


I could have sworn he was championing Avatar in another thread.
/I could be wrong though.
 
2012-06-06 08:41:33 PM

rocky_howard:
Maybe idiot wasn't the right word, but in Iron-Man 1 and 2 he seemed like this somewhat awkward lowkey timid boring little man. Someone who does it missionary style every time.The way he said the SHIELD tongue twister. His wide eyed naivette. He was pretty lovable.

Then in Thor he was made out to be a badass wannabe.


I doubt Fury would have put a "boring little man" in personal charge of keeping Tony Stark prisoner and working in his own home. That there told you that Fury thinks very highly of Coulson and his abilities.
 
2012-06-06 08:56:10 PM

Flint Ironstag: rocky_howard:
Maybe idiot wasn't the right word, but in Iron-Man 1 and 2 he seemed like this somewhat awkward lowkey timid boring little man. Someone who does it missionary style every time.The way he said the SHIELD tongue twister. His wide eyed naivette. He was pretty lovable.

Then in Thor he was made out to be a badass wannabe.

I doubt Fury would have put a "boring little man" in personal charge of keeping Tony Stark prisoner and working in his own home. That there told you that Fury thinks very highly of Coulson and his abilities.


So you can't be boring AND competent? Boring refers to personality. Competent refers to abilities. i know thinking is hard, but c'mon.
 
2012-06-06 08:59:26 PM
Who?
 
2012-06-06 09:16:16 PM

velvet_fog: I really don't understand the amount of love this movie gets. It's not bad. It's just...really average. And why so many cheesy one-liners? Especially at the most inappropriate times. It's more like 60s Batman than anything - a bunch of big stars shamelessly mugging for the camera. The worst is when Agent Coulson's (supposedly) next to last words on screen was yet another cheesey one-liner ("So that's what it does," or whatever he said). And wow - Thor swinging his hammer before he flies off is one of the most unintentionally funny things I've ever seen in a movie. It was a good popcorn movie, but I groaned about every 5 minutes. What room full of 12-14 year old boys wrote the dialogue?

I can see why it's a hit movie and I'm not trashing it. But I'll be fine never seeing it again - it's as forgettable as anything Michael Bay has ever done. I guess I don't understand why it's on track to be maybe the second or third biggest movie ever.


What bugged me, as far as Coulson goes (a LOT of things in this movie bugged me) was him fanboying at Captain America. This guy's like a Secret Service-type badass, but the second he sees Captain America, he becomes a twerpy fanboy?

I mean, yeah, rallying around Coulson was pretty lame considering everyone already was at least moderately aware of the stakes (weren't they? they were all at least briefed on it, right?) in the situation. But one particular guy has to die before they decide they all decide to get involved?

I will agree however that "Choke" was under-appreciated, but it's Sam Rockwell, so I'm biased.
 
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