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(KAIT Jonesboro)   Did you ever have a vasectomy? Without a local? Or surgical tools? This guy has. Bonus pic of the surgeon   (kait8.com) divider line 139
    More: Scary, vasectomies, Shelby Township, scrotum  
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19205 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2012 at 12:11 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-06 12:13:01 PM  
Thanks a lot, Subby. I'll be crouched over protectively for the rest of the day.
 
2012-06-06 12:13:09 PM  
Let me be the first to say AAAAAAAUUUGH!! AAAAAH! OH GOD NO!
 
2012-06-06 12:13:42 PM  
Police in Shelby say they arrested a woman over the weekend after she squeezed a man's testicles out of his scrotum.

i50.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-06 12:14:39 PM  
Did you ever have a vasectomy? Without a local? Or surgical tools? This guy has. Bonus pic of the surgeon

kait.images.worldnow.com

"Hide yo' local, hide yo' knife..."
 
2012-06-06 12:14:45 PM  
The man ran to a nearby rescue squad building for help.

How could you run anywhere after that?!
 
2012-06-06 12:14:53 PM  
i.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-06-06 12:15:25 PM  
No. But this guy has:
upload.wikimedia.org

Bonus pic of the surgeon:
cdn01.cdnwp.thefrisky.com

Bonus fun quote:

"I remember throwing something out of the [car] window because I couldn't drive. Obviously, one hand had the dick and the other hand had the knife, so I couldn't drive."
 
2012-06-06 12:15:28 PM  
I nearly passed out just getting the local recently for some "area" surgery. I can't fathom how this guy managed to run for help. Takes balls.
 
2012-06-06 12:15:36 PM  
another crime for which the death penalty is an appropriate response.
 
2012-06-06 12:16:57 PM  
FTA: Police were sent to the residence on Bowman Street to arrest Gregory. When she was placed in the patrol car, she pulled down her pants and urinated in the backseat

She sounds like a keeper.
 
2012-06-06 12:17:18 PM  
That's technically an orchiectomy
 
2012-06-06 12:18:10 PM  
You put your left ball in
You put your left ball out
You put your left ball in
And you shake it all about
 
2012-06-06 12:18:12 PM  

godxam: another crime for which the death penalty is an appropriate response.


Remember Ladies: If this was Eye-for-an-Eye, he'd get to yank out your ovaries
 
2012-06-06 12:19:34 PM  
Ball two, strike one.
 
2012-06-06 12:20:16 PM  
fark you, subby.
fark.
you.
 
2012-06-06 12:20:19 PM  
I love that she was charged with "malicious castration" - meaning there's a law specifically for that on the books there ;)
 
2012-06-06 12:20:30 PM  
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! !!!!!! *Sobs*
 
2012-06-06 12:21:07 PM  
The fact that there is a law on the books regarding "malicious castration" scares me. This happens often enough that they had to expressly criminalize it, or more likely, lawmakers wanted (rightly so) to have a bigger penalty for this kind of assault.
 
2012-06-06 12:22:01 PM  

lennavan: No. But this guy has:
[upload.wikimedia.org image 199x328]

Bonus pic of the surgeon:
[cdn01.cdnwp.thefrisky.com image 353x350]

Bonus fun quote:

"I remember throwing something out of the [car] window because I couldn't drive. Obviously, one hand had the dick and the other hand had the knife, so I couldn't drive."


Not that that situation was great, mind you, but a farking knife is still a relatively better option than having your balls squeezed from your body.
 
2012-06-06 12:22:51 PM  
"Joyce Maxine Gregory, 35, is charged with malicious castration..."

Is there any other kind?

lixivium: That's technically an orchiectomy


Bilateral no less, with a complementary scrototomy thrown in for free.

All that castrating made this gal need to pee.
 
2012-06-06 12:23:24 PM  
I saw something like this working in an emergency department, except his nut was still connected.
 
2012-06-06 12:24:02 PM  
Her nickname in prison will be Nutcracker.
 
2012-06-06 12:25:05 PM  
I wonder if she got some distance when it came out? This could be the new Beer Pong for sadists!
 
2012-06-06 12:25:13 PM  
Luckily I had a Pakistani doctor do my Vasectomy. Didn't feel a thing! Though I was nervous as shiat while it was being done (took about 30 minutes).

Best thing I ever did BTW.. or there would be around 50 Xynix's crawling around the world.
 
2012-06-06 12:25:31 PM  

lennavan: No. But this guy has:


Urethrectomy != vasectomy.

also,

"charged with malicious castration and assault inflicting serious bodily injury"

This is on the books?

/I see this has been covered by cgraves already.
 
2012-06-06 12:26:27 PM  
Just imagine the sound when they ... popped out. Not his screaming, but the wet, squishy POP of extruded yarbles.

Sweet dreams ...
 
2012-06-06 12:26:38 PM  
Jeebus Krist.
 
2012-06-06 12:26:45 PM  
Has the whole South gone crazy? Zombies and bath salts seem to be making them bonkoz. Now whatever this is classified as?
 
2012-06-06 12:26:59 PM  

xynix: Luckily I had a Pakistani doctor do my Vasectomy. Didn't feel a thing! Though I was nervous as shiat while it was being done (took about 30 minutes).


Because you were worried he was going to blow himself up, amirite?
 
2012-06-06 12:28:48 PM  
Depending on what he did, he might have deserved it.
 
2012-06-06 12:28:56 PM  
I watched "Teeth" last night so I'm getting a kick out of these replies
 
2012-06-06 12:30:04 PM  
It's like a LMFAO song - ChamPAIN Showers

"Party people
Now I want you to grab your scrotum
Put it up in the air
Now squeeze, squeeze, squeeze that scrotum and make it [pop]"
 
2012-06-06 12:30:31 PM  
She could get a job as an olive or cherry pitter.
 
2012-06-06 12:32:18 PM  
The dream unfolds.
11k2.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-06 12:33:51 PM  
It seems that this is common practice in my state these days.

OUCH
 
2012-06-06 12:33:55 PM  
If you are the baby daddy just one too many times, you owe it to yourself to visit the Joyce Gregory Clinic. At the Joyce Gregory Clinic we can quickly and cheaply remove your baby making stuff.

With our patented Crush n Twist Method, there's no need for anesthetics or long term recovery. Many of our clients leave the facility running.

The Joyce Gregory Clinic is open Monday through Thursdays. Fridays are by appointment only because the equipment has to go to the Sassy Nail Palace on MLK for cleaning, sharpening and painting.

That's the Joyce Gregory Clinic. The Joyce Gregory Clinic is owned and operated by Joyce "MC" Gregory. What does the MC stand for? Well, it aint "Master of Ceremony".
 
2012-06-06 12:34:22 PM  

pag1107: Depending on what he did, he might have deserved it.


True. Perhaps he was wearhing tight jeans showing his moose knuckle, just asking for it.
 
2012-06-06 12:35:15 PM  
Dear $DEITY. I don't even want to think about that...had a "procedure" done
on that area (thankfully I have no memory of it; better living through Versed)
and let me tell you - powerful narcotics *barely* took the edge off.

If you have a surgeon tell you to use a bag of frozen peas - listen to that very
wise person - freezer-gel-packs do not help - they just don't conform, if you
will, to an irregular shape.
 
2012-06-06 12:36:34 PM  
Arkansas is a weird place. There was apparently a case a while back where the defendant alleged that the police unlawfully entered his home, seized his testicles, displayed them in a jar, and then flushed them down the toilet.

And the Court stated:

The complaint further alleges that[d]efendant Conlee [the county sheriff acting in his official capacity] and his deputies and Arkansas State Police officers arrived at the house. Conlee retrieved plaintiff's bloody testicles from the floor of plaintiff's house and put them in a jar. Conlee obtained formaldehyde to preserve plaintiff's testicles. Conlee then placed the jar with plaintiff's testicles on his desk and left them there. Conlee brought people into his office and showed them plaintiff's testicles, and Conlee identified them as such. Conlee apparently was told by someone that this was inappropriate conduct and Conlee disposed of plaintiff's testicles by flushing them down a toilet several days later. He photographed them before flushing them. At the time of this occurrence, plaintiff was a defendant in a rape and kidnapping case in St. Francis County.

Dumond v. Conlee, 710 F. Supp. 1270, 1271 (E.D. Ark. 1988)
 
2012-06-06 12:39:54 PM  
I'm going to get one 3-5 years down the line. My plan is to have someone just chloroform me at an undetermined time and I'll wake up snipped.
 
2012-06-06 12:41:24 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-06 12:44:47 PM  
Mine wasn't anything like this, thankfully. But I did find out I was fairly resistant to local anesthesia on March 4, 2011 (and yes, I will always remember the date).
 
2012-06-06 12:44:54 PM  

xynix: Luckily I had a Pakistani doctor do my Vasectomy. Didn't feel a thing! Though I was nervous as shiat while it was being done (took about 30 minutes).

Best thing I ever did BTW.. or there would be around 50 Xynix's crawling around the world.


Are Pakistani doctors testicle specialists or something? I had no idea - either that or they give free curries instead of lollipops.
 
2012-06-06 12:45:36 PM  

walkerhound: lennavan: No. But this guy has:

Urethrectomy != vasectomy.


I'm thinkin you take Fark.com too seriously.
 
2012-06-06 12:45:42 PM  
The woman in question was "charged with malicious castration". As a man, I'm both comforted that such a charge exists and deeply saddened that it needs to.
 
2012-06-06 12:46:50 PM  

BMFPitt: I'm going to get one 3-5 years down the line. My plan is to have someone just chloroform me at an undetermined time and I'll wake up snipped.


You sound four-legged

petcaregt.com
 
2012-06-06 12:49:35 PM  
She took away his weapons. Both of them.
 
2012-06-06 12:50:07 PM  

unclemongo: Just imagine the sound when they ... popped out. Not his screaming, but the wet, squishy POP of extruded yarbles.

Sweet dreams ...


Fark you. Fark you and go to hell.
/Can't get it out of my head.
 
2012-06-06 12:50:54 PM  
did someone say orchiectomy?

blogs.amctv.com

Link
 
2012-06-06 12:51:50 PM  

Nem Wan: The dream unfolds.
[11k2.files.wordpress.com image 426x408]


I can't see that pic without hearing the guitar riff.

/lovely fayd
 
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