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(CNN)   Al Qaeda is down to one senior leader; once al-Zawahiri is killed, they'll have to bring someone up from AAAl Qaeda   (cnn.com) divider line 96
    More: Followup, AAAl Qaeda, al-Qaeda, Zawahiri, Libi, AQAP, Arabian Peninsula, New America Foundation, Abu Yahya  
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3946 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2012 at 1:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-06 12:10:27 PM
Maybe there is a NY Mets type of Al Qaeda franchise that is willing to trade a top player for a couple of ex-suicide bombers and a few camels.
 
2012-06-06 12:51:52 PM
I lol'd subby.
 
2012-06-06 12:52:43 PM
Now that's what I call a headline.
 
2012-06-06 01:27:20 PM
static8.businessinsider.com

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.
 
2012-06-06 01:39:09 PM

mr_a: Maybe there is a NY Mets type of Al Qaeda franchise that is willing to trade a top player for a couple of ex-suicide bombers and a few camels.


They should talk to the Padres. San Diego is all about trading away their bombers.
 
2012-06-06 01:41:14 PM
AAAl Qaeda? I'm pretty sure they lost their triple-A rating some time ago.
 
2012-06-06 01:42:29 PM
Subby you magnificent bastard. You made me choke on lunch.
 
2012-06-06 01:43:26 PM
It doesn't matter. The Republicans have shown that they will never give Obama anything. Not an inch. The entire al Queda network could be wiped out under Obama's orders and the Republicans would call it genocide and condemn him for it. So fark them. Keep completing what Bush was an utter failure at, no matter how "the other side" spins it.
 
2012-06-06 01:44:08 PM
Put me in coach!! Im ready to play! Today! Look at me I could be Al Qaeda
 
2012-06-06 01:44:10 PM

mr_a: Maybe there is a NY Mets type of Al Qaeda franchise that is willing to trade a top player for a couple of ex-suicide bombers and a few camels.


I think the actual Mets would be interested.

/Mets fan
 
2012-06-06 01:46:13 PM
[golfclap]
 
2012-06-06 01:46:29 PM
NAIA-Qaeda?
 
2012-06-06 01:49:59 PM
Does that mean that we finally win and we can relax with TSA security? Because that'd be awesome.
 
2012-06-06 01:50:04 PM
I think they've gone thru all the prospects of the farm teams. Al Quittah is gonna have to trade for any reasonable (or, in this case, unreasoning) players. it gets easier to pick 'em.now...just count the fingers and toes.
 
2012-06-06 01:50:42 PM
Right now every Al Qaeda number 3 is running around like Cpl. Max Klinger in the hope they won't get promoted to number 2.
 
2012-06-06 01:51:46 PM
Can't they just find some untested kid in the NCAAl-Qaeda?
 
2012-06-06 01:51:54 PM
It's like watching The Prisoner. There's a different #2 every week.
 
2012-06-06 01:52:22 PM
Terrorism is a very simple game.
Sometimes you win.
Sometimes you lose.
Sometimes it rains you get a Hellfire up the ass..
Think about that for a while.
 
2012-06-06 01:52:48 PM
FTFA: Zawahiri, presumably, is keenly aware of the fate of so many of his longtime colleagues in al Qaeda.

Candidate for understatement of the year.

Current score
President Barack Obama(*): 15
President George W. Bush: 16

(*) Active player

Ooh! Tight race.

Situation room, earlier today:

POTUS: "I need you to find me two more number twos"
 
2012-06-06 01:52:53 PM
American Academy of Arts And Letters? Is that a terrorist group?
 
2012-06-06 01:53:30 PM

shivashakti: Does that mean that we finally win and we can relax with TSA security? Because that'd be awesome.


You sound like a dissident or a socialist, citizen--if that's what you really are. I'm going to ask you to step out of line and move over towards the tables. Have you emptied your pockets? Has anyone asked you to carry anything into this thread?
 
2012-06-06 01:55:01 PM
My Internet sources are all pointing to an unlikely hiding spot for al-Zawahiri -- Israel. Ben Netanyahu has him comfortably stashed in a palatial, three floor section of the Jerusalem Hilton, servants fulfilling his every whim. Ben knows that as long as al-Zawahiri is alive, Israel can direct the US to strike anywhere it wants under the guise of fighting Al Qaeda. If my US sources are right, though, Obama is about to dust off his Koran and pledge allegiance to Allah so he has a basis to join with Iranian militants to invade Israel. The Iranians get to bomb all they want without US reprisal, but they've got to give us al-Zawahiri and ensure that Israel's head is chopped off its shoulders so the US can once again steer its own ship.
 
2012-06-06 01:55:22 PM

NeoCortex42: It's like watching The Prisoner. There's a different #2 every week.


I think it's more like Star Trek. Al Qaeda has a color-coded uniform system to designate ranks. #2s all wear red tunics.
 
2012-06-06 01:56:20 PM
Smart money's on Mohammed Hussein XVII.

He was first in his class in praying, explosives, and Death to Israel.
 
2012-06-06 01:56:53 PM

spentmiles: My Internet sources are all pointing to an unlikely hiding spot for al-Zawahiri -- Israel. Ben Netanyahu has him comfortably stashed in a palatial, three floor section of the Jerusalem Hilton, servants fulfilling his every whim. Ben knows that as long as al-Zawahiri is alive, Israel can direct the US to strike anywhere it wants under the guise of fighting Al Qaeda. If my US sources are right, though, Obama is about to dust off his Koran and pledge allegiance to Allah so he has a basis to join with Iranian militants to invade Israel. The Iranians get to bomb all they want without US reprisal, but they've got to give us al-Zawahiri and ensure that Israel's head is chopped off its shoulders so the US can once again steer its own ship.


I thought you only posted bullshiat troll stories.
 
2012-06-06 01:57:29 PM
Nice headline.
 
2012-06-06 01:58:06 PM
I've seen the Damascus Mud Bombers a few times. They have some decent prospects. I have not had a chance to see the Kabul Death Biscuits but I hear good things.
 
2012-06-06 01:58:16 PM
a Nigerian recruit who had secreted a hard-to-detect bomb in his underwear

Usually the bombs I secrete in my underwear are not very hard to detect.
 
2012-06-06 02:00:17 PM
oh there will always be another fake leader of a fake 'terror' network to booga booga the tards with.
 
2012-06-06 02:00:34 PM

Capt'n Hector: a Nigerian recruit who had secreted a hard-to-detect bomb in his underwear

Usually the bombs I secrete in my underwear are not very hard to detect.


winner
 
2012-06-06 02:01:24 PM

palelizard: You sound like a dissident or a socialist, citizen--if that's what you really are. I'm going to ask you to step out of line and move over towards the tables. Have you emptied your pockets? Has anyone asked you to carry anything into this thread?


I'm a dissident socialist citizen. However, I have no carry-ons.
 
2012-06-06 02:01:44 PM

Pardon Me Sultan: FTFA: Zawahiri, presumably, is keenly aware of the fate of so many of his longtime colleagues in al Qaeda.

Candidate for understatement of the year.

Current score
President Barack Obama(*): 15
President George W. Bush: 16

(*) Active player

Ooh! Tight race.

Situation room, earlier today:

POTUS: "I need you to find me two more number twos"


15 in 3.5 years vs. 16 in 8 years. Advantage: Obama, by a 2-to-1 margin.

You just illustrated Mugato's point perfectly.
 
2012-06-06 02:02:02 PM
Doesn't matter. They already won the war.
 
2012-06-06 02:02:27 PM

Capt'n Hector: a Nigerian recruit who had secreted a hard-to-detect bomb in his underwear

Usually the bombs I secrete in my underwear are not very hard to detect.


Silent... but deadly.
 
2012-06-06 02:02:48 PM
I think Al'Qaeda will have to be relegated to the minor league. Let's bring up Al'Shabaab to maintain competitive balance.
 
2012-06-06 02:02:56 PM

anfrind: 15 in 3.5 years vs. 16 in 8 years. Advantage: Obama, by a 2-to-1 margin.

You just illustrated Mugato's point perfectly.


Nah, that's not how these things work. It's how many you have when you retire. That's why Aaron had the record instead of Ruth.
 
2012-06-06 02:03:30 PM

Capt'n Hector: a Nigerian recruit who had secreted a hard-to-detect bomb in his underwear

Usually the bombs I secrete in my underwear are not very hard to detect.


New keyboard. You owe me.
 
2012-06-06 02:03:57 PM

spentmiles: My Internet sources are all pointing to an unlikely hiding spot for al-Zawahiri -- Israel. Ben Netanyahu has him comfortably stashed in a palatial, three floor section of the Jerusalem Hilton, servants fulfilling his every whim. Ben knows that as long as al-Zawahiri is alive, Israel can direct the US to strike anywhere it wants under the guise of fighting Al Qaeda. If my US sources are right, though, Obama is about to dust off his Koran and pledge allegiance to Allah so he has a basis to join with Iranian militants to invade Israel. The Iranians get to bomb all they want without US reprisal, but they've got to give us al-Zawahiri and ensure that Israel's head is chopped off its shoulders so the US can once again steer its own ship.


But What Does It Mean?

/stubmitter
 
2012-06-06 02:04:46 PM
nice headline subby
 
2012-06-06 02:04:51 PM
The last two paragraphs are the best in the article. Misleading, perhaps, but it needs to be said more often.
 
2012-06-06 02:04:57 PM
What a bunch of Al biatches. They're losing their pitching depth and their batters are getting really soft in the process.
 
2012-06-06 02:06:03 PM
Subby,

+1

/golf clap
 
2012-06-06 02:06:05 PM
ESPN will cover the Al-Qaeda draft.
 
2012-06-06 02:06:13 PM
There's an election coming up, shouldn't someone be manufacturing a war somewhere?
 
2012-06-06 02:06:56 PM
www.algemeiner.com

Should have been put down like a mad dog after the Sadat shooting.

This guy is the very embodiment of why one billion muslims have over the course of the last 400 years accomplished exactly jack squat.
 
2012-06-06 02:07:38 PM

Phil Moskowitz: There's an election coming up, shouldn't someone be manufacturing a war somewhere?


That only happens when the incumbent is a Republican.
 
2012-06-06 02:07:41 PM

WTF Indeed: [static8.businessinsider.com image 400x300]
Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.


Bravo, sir.
 
2012-06-06 02:08:53 PM

Cheron: Right now every Al Qaeda number 3 is running around like Cpl. Max Klinger in the hope they won't get promoted to number 2.


Yeah, really. How come every time we blow up some shiatbird in a tent, he was always "Al Qaeda's second in command"? Sounds like some chest beating from the DOD.
 
2012-06-06 02:09:06 PM

shivashakti: I'm a dissident socialist citizen. However, I have no carry-ons.


An American without any stuff? You clearly can't be trusted.
 
2012-06-06 02:10:11 PM

Phil Moskowitz: There's an election coming up, shouldn't someone be manufacturing a war somewhere?


see: Syria

for further reading: Iran
 
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