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(LiveLeak)   Cops decide to lets two drunks fight it out in an intersection, presumably because that's hysterical   ( liveleak.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, drunks  
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11585 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2012 at 10:33 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-06 10:25:08 AM  
I always find it amusing when they show these countries where the cops don't even wear guns.
 
2012-06-06 10:34:07 AM  
Was it early in the morning in the middle of the night?
 
2012-06-06 10:37:04 AM  
You call THAT a fight?!?
 
2012-06-06 10:38:07 AM  
I am truly surprised they didn't pick a tune from Carl Douglas' catalogue.
 
2012-06-06 10:39:07 AM  
www.rclol.com
 
2012-06-06 10:39:37 AM  

chaddsfarkprefect: I am truly surprised they didn't pick a tune from Carl Douglas' catalogue.


I was expecting more kung fu fighting myself, all I saw was a load of haymakers.
 
2012-06-06 10:40:28 AM  
Their Kung Fu is weak
 
2012-06-06 10:40:34 AM  
Hysterical? My first thought was "for the purposes of illegal betting".

They're lucky I'm not the Chief of Police, cynical as I am. "Practising for a kung fu competition", indeed. Who practises for a kung fu competition in the street? And did the cops make bets? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
2012-06-06 10:41:13 AM  
Looks like the cops were pretty reasonable. The guys weren't really hurting each other, the cops stepped in every now and then to break things up, and eventually things cooled down and one guys' wife arrived to make him put his shirt on and get him out of there. Everyone went home and things were cool.

Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?
 
2012-06-06 10:42:33 AM  
"Am I the only one who wants to see this?"

blogs.amctv.com
 
2012-06-06 10:42:54 AM  
Should have sound tracked that video with "Yakety Sax".
 
2012-06-06 10:45:09 AM  
Hysterical is the wrong word, even though informally it means funny. Just like, informally, irregardless is a word.
 
2012-06-06 10:47:59 AM  

Christian Bale: Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?


Here in America, our prisons are privately operated by job creators. If you see anyone breaking the law, and you're a cop, it's your duty to bring those criminals to justice so the jails can profit. Why do you hate America?
 
2012-06-06 10:51:19 AM  

Christian Bale: Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?


That depends on a lot of factors...do I own the jail? The club factory? The taser repair facility? Am I a high-priced defense attorney? This is a tough question with a lot of gray area.
 
2012-06-06 10:51:51 AM  
When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights. At first we'd get the two biggest, meanest guys and force them to duke it out. The winner got an extra visit and the loser got solitary confinement, which is especially not fun when your ribs are broken and the retinas have separated from your eyeballs. Honestly, two big guys going at it isn't that much fun to watch. They would typically just throw haymakers at each other until one connected by complete chance. The receiver was usually knocked out, while the thrower jumped on top of him and beat his head against the concrete in Trayvon Martin style.

With nothing else to do but torture those worthless sacks, the guards and started getting creative. Some of the highlights include the two Florencia gang members that we blindfolded, turned in circles, and then let go at each other with wooden sticks. It took two hours of gut busting hilarity before one of them finally connected, breaking the other one's hip, which sent him to the ground screaming. After that, the one still standing just pummeled him to death.

Another time we took this big macho dude with tattoos all over his arms and set him against three of the transgenders. The biatches were biting and scratching and slapping the big dude until he just lost it and started with the upper cuts. He hit one so hard, her head nearly popped off her spinal column. He cleaned up pretty easily, but then turned up with HIV a few months later, contracted from the blood mixing into his bites.

The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't come close to the carnage that erupted when the African American convict got the white guy on his back. It was one of the largest and most violent riots in penal history.

I hear they busted into the protective custody unit, where all the snitches and child molesters were kept. They held a blow torch to this guys skull until his head exploded. They were throwing people off the two story balcony, enough to break their arms and legs, but not enough to kill them. Then the guys below would go to work on them with the fire axes. You can still see the marks in the floor where they decapitated this one scumbag.

So, I'd have to warn against letting people fight unless it's under tightly controlled circumstances, which it doesn't sound like this intersection brawl was.
 
2012-06-06 10:57:10 AM  
So were these cops or linesmen?
 
2012-06-06 10:57:49 AM  

Christian Bale: Looks like the cops were pretty reasonable. The guys weren't really hurting each other, the cops stepped in every now and then to break things up, and eventually things cooled down and one guys' wife arrived to make him put his shirt on and get him out of there. Everyone went home and things were cool.

Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?


A million times this.

special20: Christian Bale: Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?

Here in America, our prisons are privately operated by job creators. If you see anyone breaking the law, and you're a cop, it's your duty to bring those criminals to justice so the jails can profit. Why do you hate America?


OJFC. These guys would've gone to jail, which isn't privately run. If they had gone to a prison, there's a very slim chance they would've gone to a private prison. Jesus, I'm opposed to private prisons too, but I don't have some blind partisan hardon for mentioning it. The only thing worse than religion becoming politics is politics becoming religion.
 
2012-06-06 10:59:25 AM  

Kurmudgeon: chaddsfarkprefect: I am truly surprised they didn't pick a tune from Carl Douglas' catalogue.

I was expecting more kung fu fighting myself, all I saw was a load of haymakers.


Looked more like the Epic Beard Man style of fighting.
 
2012-06-06 11:00:29 AM  
Nice one miles.
 
2012-06-06 11:03:39 AM  

old_toole: Nice one miles.


I dunno, I was looking for more humor.
 
2012-06-06 11:05:09 AM  

spentmiles: When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights.


Epic troll or human scumbag? Hard to tell.
 
2012-06-06 11:07:41 AM  

Christian Bale: Looks like the cops were pretty reasonable. The guys weren't really hurting each other, the cops stepped in every now and then to break things up, and eventually things cooled down and one guys' wife arrived to make him put his shirt on and get him out of there. Everyone went home and things were cool.

Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?


False dichotomy is falsey
 
2012-06-06 11:10:57 AM  
As if those two little skinny runts could actually hurt anyone! LMFAO
 
2012-06-06 11:12:28 AM  

spentmiles: When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights. At first we'd get the two biggest, meanest guys and force them to duke it out. The winner got an extra visit and the loser got solitary confinement, which is especially not fun when your ribs are broken and the retinas have separated from your eyeballs. Honestly, two big guys going at it isn't that much fun to watch. They would typically just throw haymakers at each other until one connected by complete chance. The receiver was usually knocked out, while the thrower jumped on top of him and beat his head against the concrete in Trayvon Martin style.

With nothing else to do but torture those worthless sacks, the guards and started getting creative. Some of the highlights include the two Florencia gang members that we blindfolded, turned in circles, and then let go at each other with wooden sticks. It took two hours of gut busting hilarity before one of them finally connected, breaking the other one's hip, which sent him to the ground screaming. After that, the one still standing just pummeled him to death.

Another time we took this big macho dude with tattoos all over his arms and set him against three of the transgenders. The biatches were biting and scratching and slapping the big dude until he just lost it and started with the upper cuts. He hit one so hard, her head nearly popped off her spinal column. He cleaned up pretty easily, but then turned up with HIV a few months later, contracted from the blood mixing into his bites.

The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't come close to th ...


Where the F*ck do you get this shiat from?

/+1
 
2012-06-06 11:15:10 AM  

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: spentmiles: When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights.

Epic troll or human scumbag? Hard to tell.


You new here?
 
2012-06-06 11:15:51 AM  

spentmiles:
The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't c ...


I wonder why people are more farked up when they get out of prison than when they went in. Prison is about punishment. Not rehabilitation. THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! Privatizing the prison system, and making it profitable for companies to lock up citizens is another debate for another day.

This is absolutely disgusting.
 
2012-06-06 11:16:03 AM  
Is it some kind of cosmic rule that the guy who takes his shirt off first always loses the fight ?

Link
 
2012-06-06 11:17:04 AM  

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: spentmiles: When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights.

Epic troll or human scumbag? Hard to tell.


a2jk: spentmiles:
The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't c ...

I wonder why people are more farked up when they get out of prison than when they went in. Prison is about punishment. Not rehabilitation. THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! Privatizing the prison system, and making it profitable for companies to lock up citizens is another debate for another day.

This is absolutely disgusting.


media.tumblr.com
 
2012-06-06 11:17:48 AM  

WTFDYW: Where the F*ck do you get this shiat from?


I like to imagine that it's all true and spentmiles is the world's most interesting psychopath.
 
2012-06-06 11:18:59 AM  

a2jk: spentmiles:
The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't c ...

I wonder why people are more farked up when they get out of prison than when they went in. Prison is about punishment. Not rehabilitation. THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! Privatizing the prison system, and making it profitable for companies to lock up citizens is another debate for another day.

This is absolutely disgusting.


ROFLMFAO, spentmiles!!!! Well dochap!
 
2012-06-06 11:20:11 AM  
Chinese cops: Well, they're drunk and stupid, let them fight it out.

Chinese cops: Did you just say "Democracy" and "Tiananmen square"? *WHAP*WHAP*WHAP*WHAP*
 
2012-06-06 11:20:45 AM  

Christian Bale: Looks like the cops were pretty reasonable. The guys weren't really hurting each other, the cops stepped in every now and then to break things up, and eventually things cooled down and one guys' wife arrived to make him put his shirt on and get him out of there. Everyone went home and things were cool.

Is it better to tase both of them, beat them down with clubs, and then haul them to an overcrowded jail?


this was the whole point of posting this vid. thanks friend.
 
2012-06-06 11:24:44 AM  

WTFDYW: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: spentmiles: When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights.

Epic troll or human scumbag? Hard to tell.

You new here?


and this is why mr spentmiles is on my fav list
 
2012-06-06 11:29:23 AM  

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: spentmiles: When I was the warden at a maximum security prison in Arizona, the guards and I would organize Friday night fights.

Epic troll or human scumbag? Hard to tell.


Hard to tell? You think there's even a mild chance what he says is true? You'd have to be mildly retarded to think that anything spentmiles is anything other than satire or humor.
 
2012-06-06 11:31:07 AM  

Fish in a Barrel: WTFDYW: Where the F*ck do you get this shiat from?

I like to imagine that it's all true and spentmiles is the world's most interesting psychopath.


He's certainly more entertaining than the article.

spentmiles:
About five winters ago, I broke both my legs when I fell out of a ski lift and plummeted about 65 feet to the hard packed snow below. I was on crutches for sixteen months, so I got pretty adept at maneuvering. I was on the track team at my college, and to keep my scholarship I had to participate in at least one event for the season. They wanted me gone, of course, so they forced me to do the 400 meter hurdles. I didn't knock over a single one, and finished in second at 68.3 seconds. So, I think if I had to, I could totally outrun someone on my crutches.

***

I grew up in a large family, twenty-eight siblings with thirty years between the youngest and oldest. Roughly half of us survived to adulthood. It wasn't uncommon that one of us, especially the younger ones, would go missing and no one would notice for weeks, possibly months. With that many people around, it was never a troubling loss, much less devastating. Although I can see how losing six at once might be sad for the parents, they still have over a 50% survival rate. That's pretty good considering they live in Derby, which is the abduction and child murder capital of England.

***

I was living in Brownsville, Texas about a decade ago when I received a call at 3AM on a Thursday morning. It was a woman, very polite, and she explained to me that her compadres were holding my brother in Tijuana. They wanted me to wire them $100k by midnight Saturday or they were going to kill him. She gave me the wire account number and hung up. I immediately dialed my brother's phone number in California. I knew that he had gotten deeper into drugs in the last five years which strained the sparse communication between us. There was no answer at the last number I had for him.

I didn't have $100k. I contacted the local police who put me in touch with a man from the CIA. The agent said, in rambling terms, we don't have the time, money, or interest in recovering your brother. Instead, here's the number to a private agency staffed with former CIA/FBI agents that will help you, though they charge a few thousand dollars per day. Their recovery rate is near 100%, though, so that's your best bet, take it or leave it.

I didn't have a few thousand dollars, but I called the private consultants anyway. They said that they didn't work pro bono, and I should contact either my local police or the CIA. I explained that I'd already talked to the authorities who referred me to you. The guy says they can't help me, but if I let the ransom demand date pass, then there was a chance they'd let him go. About a 25% chance. It went up to fifty percent if I sent them some amount of money.

Well, I didn't have some amount of money, unless they'd be happy with the five hundred dollars in savings bonds my grandmother had been giving me for my birthday. I'm sure there value had appreciated dramatically. With no other choice, I let Saturday come and go.

At 3AM that Sunday, I get a call from the woman who says that they did not receive the money. She then told me to go look in my mailbox and she'd call me back. I go out to the mailbox and there is a small plastic container with a lid. Opening the lid, I picked up the bloody rag on the top, and there was a penis. Horrified, I lost my mind for a second and couldn't process what I was looking at. I remember running around my could-e-sac screaming, "A PENIS A PENIS OH MY GOD ITS HIS PENIS!"

When I calmed down and looked closer, there was a problem. The penis in the container was light brown, long, and circumcised. Both my brother and I had pale white, short little rudders that were certainly not circumcised. There were no obvious signs that the circumcision had been done recently -- bloody tip, etc -- so I figured that the Mexican captors hadn't clipped the tip for chewing gum. I took my new friend back inside with me and waited for the phone call.

"Hello?" I said.
"Yes, did you receive the penis?" she asked.
"Yeah I got a penis. There's a problem though."
"Que?"
"It's not my brother's."
"Si, si, yes it is your brothers."
"Lady, this penis is brown and doesn't have it's socks pulled up."
"Socks? Que?"
"S-O-C-K-S. That is what I want! It's not his penis. Now if you have him, then I want to talk to him."
"Hold on," she says.

A minute or so later, a guy with an agonized voice gets on the phone. He's pleading with his captors. I can tell that he's American but his voice is too deep to be my brother's.
"Who is this?" I ask.
"It's me, Tommy," he says.
"Tommy?"
"Yeah, your brother," he says, obviously delirious from pain.
"Well, good news and bad news Tom. Good news, I have your penis and I'll keep it on some ice. Bad news, you've got the wrong guy. I'm not your brother."
A pause.
Tommy says, "Is this 956-676-XXXX?"
I laugh and say, "No this 956-767-XXXX."
Tommy screams at his captors, "YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER!"
Then he starts pleading with me, "Please mister, please, you've got to get in touch with my brother. Please help -"
A single gunshot rang out and someone hung up the phone.

The moral of the story: don't let the cell phone age rob you of memorizing a few numbers. It might just save your life someday.
 
2012-06-06 11:39:48 AM  

a2jk: spentmiles:
The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't c ...

I wonder why people are more farked up when they get out of prison than when they went in. Prison is about punishment. Not rehabilitation. THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! Privatizing the prison system, and making it profitable for companies to lock up citizens is another debate for another day.

This is absolutely disgusting.


I don't know what's more funny, spentmiles' posts or the rabid responses he gets from the newbies
 
2012-06-06 11:50:24 AM  

Loucifer: Is it some kind of cosmic rule that the guy who takes his shirt off first always loses the fight ?

Link


That is awesome.

I love seeing stuff like that. The bigger guy gave him like 4 chances to step down. He didn't, so he popped him. And he obviously has training. He went right into form. And his follow through was immediate, not panicked.
 
2012-06-06 11:59:19 AM  
There goes 1:25 of my life down the drain. Oh, what I could have accomplished in that time....
 
2012-06-06 12:08:55 PM  
Bad technique is bad
 
2012-06-06 12:09:37 PM  
Coming soon: The Thirsty Games
 
2012-06-06 12:12:43 PM  

a2jk: spentmiles:
The only rule that I had was that the convicts fighting one another had to be of the same race. I didn't want the audience turning a silly diversion it into a god damn race war. Then I went on vacation with my wife, leaving my deputy in charge. Well, this dumbass gets cocky and sets up a fight between a guy from the Aryan Brotherhood and another guy from the Black Guerrilla Family. Planet of the Apes doesn't c ...

I wonder why people are more farked up when they get out of prison than when they went in. Prison is about punishment. Not rehabilitation. THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! Privatizing the prison system, and making it profitable for companies to lock up citizens is another debate for another day.

This is absolutely disgusting.


They should make the companies accountable for the actions of the prisoners after release. Pay bonuses for lower recidivism rates. Watch rehabilitation happen!@
 
2012-06-06 12:16:06 PM  

Maverick Couch:

I don't know what's more funny, spentmiles' posts or the rabid responses he gets from the newbies


Far from a Noob... but I should have recognized the name. Still equally infuriating.
 
2012-06-06 12:17:35 PM  

dk47: They should make the companies accountable for the actions of the prisoners after release. Pay bonuses for lower recidivism rates. Watch rehabilitation happen!


That's... actually an interesting idea.
 
2012-06-06 12:18:38 PM  
I thought these farks knew kung-fu and shiat. Sonchan, big disappoint.

There's more karate in Dolemite.
 
2012-06-06 12:30:45 PM  
1:07 - "here honey i clean and iron your shirt for you it reeeal sparkle and clean!"


images.sodahead.com
Is not impressed.
 
2012-06-06 12:35:13 PM  

jaylectricity: I always find it amusing when they show these countries where the cops don't even wear guns.


Chinese cops really aren't cops in the Western sense. They're basically at the mall security level (well a bit more power than that) and corrupt to boot. Their basic job is to be human video cameras that call in the security officials when any kind of real social disruption occurs. Otherwise they just kind of wander around and act useless.

/police and security are two different departments
//the local police are nothing to fear (you can always bribe them if worse comes to worse). Security is always something to fear.
 
2012-06-06 12:38:49 PM  

a2jk: Maverick Couch:

I don't know what's more funny, spentmiles' posts or the rabid responses he gets from the newbies

Far from a Noob... but I should have recognized the name. Still equally infuriating.


What's infuriating, that you bit?
 
2012-06-06 12:39:54 PM  
typical drunk fight... a whole lot of swinging and kicking but very little damage.
 
2012-06-06 01:06:37 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: WTFDYW: Where the F*ck do you get this shiat from?

I like to imagine that it's all true and spentmiles is the world's most interesting psychopath.


I'm so with you. After the second post from him I read, I have him favorited as "never doubt a word he writes." The world is a much more interesting place now.
 
2012-06-06 01:15:39 PM  

FLMountainMan: OJFC. These guys would've gone to jail, which isn't privately run. If they had gone to a prison, there's a very slim chance they would've gone to a private prison. Jesus, I'm opposed to private prisons too, but I don't have some blind partisan hardon for mentioning it. The only thing worse than religion becoming politics is politics becoming religion.


I think your snark detector is out of calibration. Hope you feel better though.
 
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