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(Bitten and Bound)   The official moratorium on Kelly Clarkson weight jokes begins now   (bittenandbound.com) divider line 82
    More: PSA, Kelly Clarkson, VH1 Divas, Idol series winners, Grammy  
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14972 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Jun 2012 at 11:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-05 08:48:27 PM
What did she do with all that weight? Heel it down the drain?
 
2012-06-05 08:55:54 PM

farkingismybusiness: What did she do with all that weight? Heel it down the drain?


She does, indeed, beef.
 
2012-06-05 08:57:07 PM
Meh...Too skinny.
 
2012-06-05 09:04:53 PM
Now she looks like Kelly Osbourne.
 
2012-06-05 09:56:09 PM
Meh, she's one bad break up away from being the before picture in a Jenny Craig ad. Inside every skinny former fat girl the fat girl is always looking for an excuse to start mainlining Haagen Daas again.
 
2012-06-05 09:58:11 PM

NuttierThanEver: Meh, she's one bad break up away from being the before picture in a Jenny Craig ad. Inside every skinny former fat girl the fat girl is always looking for an excuse to start mainlining Haagen Daas again.


You know, the thought of her with tears and make-up streaming down her face with the lower half of her face covered in Haagen Dazs and a literal bucket of the stuff sitting in front of her sort of gives me a hard-on.
 
2012-06-05 10:15:35 PM
Does photoshop really count as weight loss now?
 
2012-06-05 10:22:32 PM
Shame she lost it up front.
 
2012-06-05 10:41:48 PM

basemetal: Does photoshop really count as weight loss now?


It has been counting as penis enlargement for years. Why not weight loss?
 
2012-06-05 11:05:47 PM
If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "From Justin to Kelly" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2012-06-05 11:14:33 PM

soupbone: If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "From Justin to Kelly" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


Old, tired joke is old...and tired.
 
2012-06-05 11:19:04 PM
She looks so much better when she's not so heavy. Not in that picture, but in other pictures..
 
2012-06-05 11:19:28 PM
If Trixie212 plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Fark's Lamest User Names" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

/the original is better
//welcometofark.jpg
///but is it tired and old?
 
2012-06-05 11:25:47 PM
What happened to her face?
 
2012-06-05 11:26:37 PM

cmunic8r99: Shame she lost it up front.


She never had it there, even as a tubbo.
 
2012-06-05 11:28:30 PM
8 years ago:
Link

/hot
 
2012-06-05 11:29:46 PM

soupbone: If Trixie212 plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Fark's Lamest User Names" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

/the original is better
//welcometofark.jpg
///but is it tired and old?


Hardly a fatass but thanks anyway.
 
2012-06-05 11:38:55 PM

wiwille: What happened to her face?


I did, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
/555
 
2012-06-05 11:41:37 PM

Trixie212: soupbone: If Trixie212 plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Fark's Lamest User Names" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

/the original is better
//welcometofark.jpg
///but is it tired and old?

Hardly a fatass but thanks anyway.


Just a matter of time.

/die young, leave good looking corpse
 
2012-06-05 11:43:23 PM
Fat, thin, that girl can sing.
 
2012-06-05 11:43:37 PM

Trixie212: soupbone: If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "From Justin to Kelly" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

Old, tired joke is old...and tired.


It is, but if someone is going to dig that horse up and take a sledgehammer to it isn't this the thread to see if there's still a squish left in the old girl?
 
2012-06-05 11:51:30 PM

Ashtrey: Trixie212: soupbone: If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "From Justin to Kelly" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

Old, tired joke is old...and tired.

It is, but if someone is going to dig that horse up and take a sledgehammer to it isn't this the thread to see if there's still a squish left in the old girl?


Precisely.

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-06-05 11:52:15 PM

Trixie212: soupbone: If Trixie212 plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Fark's Lamest User Names" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

/the original is better
//welcometofark.jpg
///but is it tired and old?

Hardly a fatass but thanks anyway.


I'm trying to figure out the correlation between ass size and the size of the kids in the pool.
 
2012-06-05 11:53:17 PM

wiwille: What happened to her face?


The pic looks like that magazine (Good Housekeeping?) where on the cover they always manage to make glamorous women look frumpy.
 
2012-06-05 11:54:34 PM
I'm sorry, the beefing joke is always funny
 
2012-06-05 11:59:50 PM
i3.photobucket.com


yes, that is THAT.

/from back in the day
 
2012-06-06 12:01:09 AM

wiwille: What happened to her face?


Bad makeup job and whoever styled her hair needs to be shot. She doesn't look good with bangs and her face looks a lot better with hair framing her face. Add in that hideous dress that doesn't work with her new body type. I'm sure she looks lovely in real life, I have always found her to be very pretty both when she was thin and later when she gained weight. But this is just another example of a crappy photo shoot (and likely bad air brushing).
 
2012-06-06 12:07:51 AM

soupbone: If Trixie212 plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Fark's Lamest User Names" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

/the original is better
//welcometofark.jpg
///but is it tired and old?


i172.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-06 12:12:00 AM

farkingismybusiness: What did she do with all that weight? Heel it down the drain?


From TFA:

Clarkson embarked on a five day a week training schedule and has been following a portion control diet.

Exercise more and eat less. Shocking, I know.
 
2012-06-06 12:18:51 AM

NuttierThanEver: Meh, she's one bad break up away from being the before picture in a Jenny Craig ad. Inside every skinny former fat girl the fat girl is always looking for an excuse to start mainlining Haagen Daas again.


I volunteer to be the one she writes breakup songs about.
 
2012-06-06 12:23:16 AM

soupbone: If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "From Justin to Kelly" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


I always liked the little "to save time" addition. Still haven't figured out how heeling stool down the drain, then having to wash your dung-covered foot, saves any time.

Sad thing is, 20 years from now, if my future kids come across a Kelly Clarkson tune, I'll have a hard time not saying, "Y'know what they used to say about Kelly Clarkson? She beefs. Hard."
 
2012-06-06 12:28:58 AM

pwn3d781: soupbone: If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "From Justin to Kelly" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

I always liked the little "to save time" addition. Still haven't figured out how heeling stool down the drain, then having to wash your dung-covered foot, saves any time.

Sad thing is, 20 years from now, if my future kids come across a Kelly Clarkson tune, I'll have a hard time not saying, "Y'know what they used to say about Kelly Clarkson? She beefs. Hard."


I was around here when this meme started and I don't recall the "saves time" addition. I'm pretty sure what I posted was the original. Maybe not.
 
2012-06-06 12:33:28 AM

CigaretteSmokingMan: soupbone: If Trixie212 plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready.

She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Fark's Lamest User Names" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.

/the original is better
//welcometofark.jpg
///but is it tired and old?

[i172.photobucket.com image 300x232]


Weak souse normally but works well here. fark you.
 
2012-06-06 12:33:30 AM
I always thought she was cute.
 
2012-06-06 12:43:04 AM
Boyfriend, huh? Good for her.
 
2012-06-06 12:45:06 AM

zvoidx: 8 years ago:
Link

/hot


It's not that I live under a rock, I just try to avoid anything 'American Idol' related. I'd heard that song about a billion times anyway. I had not ever seen the video before. I thought she was kinda cute before, but yes, that was damn hot.
 
2012-06-06 12:49:19 AM
I'm a metal fan who has mostly metal music on his iPod. But DAMN this girl can sing. Not a fan of all her tunes but a couple are lurking on my playlist.

Heard she was gay. Anyone else hear this or am I mixing up my pop songstresses?
 
2012-06-06 01:16:04 AM

FirstNationalBastard:
the thought of her with tears and make-up streaming down her face with the lower half of her face covered in Haagen Dazs and a literal bucket of the stuff sitting in front of her .


www.inquisitr.com
 
2012-06-06 01:18:08 AM
It was a rare fat-swap procedure that helped Clarkson lose the 30 pounds. Sadly, in a fat-swap, there has to be a recipient. Mile Kunis graciously stepped into that role.
 
2012-06-06 01:22:23 AM

Owangotang: Mile Kunis graciously stepped into that role.


I've got a role Mila Kunis could step into, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
/556
 
2012-06-06 01:23:33 AM

PizzaJedi81: Owangotang: Mile Kunis graciously stepped into that role.

I've got a role Mila Kunis could step into, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
/556


I wish you would lose the ability to type, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2012-06-06 01:28:06 AM

soupbone: PizzaJedi81: Owangotang: Mile Kunis graciously stepped into that role.

I've got a role Mila Kunis could step into, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
/556

I wish you would lose the ability to type, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.


Nope,sorry, not following. That's not even remotely like innuendo.
 
2012-06-06 01:43:55 AM

FirstNationalBastard: NuttierThanEver: Meh, she's one bad break up away from being the before picture in a Jenny Craig ad. Inside every skinny former fat girl the fat girl is always looking for an excuse to start mainlining Haagen Daas again.

You know, the thought of her with tears and make-up streaming down her face with the lower half of her face covered in Haagen Dazs and a literal bucket of the stuff sitting in front of her sort of gives me a hard-on.


sort of?
 
2012-06-06 03:17:18 AM

PizzaJedi81: soupbone: PizzaJedi81: Owangotang: Mile Kunis graciously stepped into that role.

I've got a role Mila Kunis could step into, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.
/556

I wish you would lose the ability to type, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

Nope,sorry, not following. That's not even remotely like innuendo.


Did somebody say Medudo?

991.com
 
2012-06-06 03:27:51 AM

Trixie212: Old, tired joke is old...and tired.


Old? Perhaps.

Tired? NOPE.

/still makes me giggle.
 
2012-06-06 04:20:42 AM

wiwille: What happened to her face?


Looks like a young Charles Bronson.
 
2012-06-06 06:18:34 AM
Gee, I guess we have nothing more to comment about her then aside from what she calls her music being absolute shiat. Go fark off, karaoke game show winner.
 
2012-06-06 06:51:08 AM
Is saying that her face looks like a foot still ok?
 
2012-06-06 06:58:20 AM

DjangoStonereaver: Fat, thin, that girl can sing.


And I would hit both of her.
 
2012-06-06 07:41:18 AM
"How a new boyfriend boosted her confidence."

Man, is it going to be fun to watch when they break up.
 
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