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(Chicago Trib)   "Zombies Vs. Gladiators" originally a B-movie intended for SYFY channel, and re-written to include a happy ending where the zombies were cured by arrows laden with human tears, to be rewritten by Clive Barker   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 41
    More: Fail, Syfy, happy ending, Hellraiser, screenplays, tears, zombies  
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1632 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Jun 2012 at 8:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-05 06:02:31 PM  
Nooooo! The Asylum would at least have made it hilariously awful. Now I can't even look forward to that.
 
2012-06-05 07:05:23 PM  
Whar Hellraiser remake, Clive? Whar?

I mean I hate remakes for the most part, especially horror remakes but Barker said that he didn't get to do everything he wanted to with the original Hellraiser and it's such an awesome concept that was never really realized, I think given all the bullshiat remakes that are out now, this is in order. And Nightbreed too. Although not as much of a remake because I think it stands on its own but surely some sequels.
 
2012-06-05 07:51:44 PM  
So the gladiators will sodomize the zombies before plunging a gladius into their brainpans?
 
2012-06-05 08:34:24 PM  

hubiestubert: So the gladiators will sodomize the zombies before plunging a gladius into their brainpans?


Only after they urinate into the zombie's mouths and make golems out of their own feces.

CB rules.
 
2012-06-05 08:35:32 PM  
Gladiators (and Roman soldiers) would have been trained extensively in close combat with weapons. It seems to me like ancient Rome would fare much better against zombies than modern day societies.
 
2012-06-05 08:37:11 PM  
You know what would make a great zombie movie? The Fanum Cocidi incident from the Zombie Survival Guide. I suppose this is close enough.
 
2012-06-05 08:40:43 PM  
I haven't figured out if people read stories from Ain't It Cool News and then submit them here, or if someone from Ain't It Cool News is a Total Farker and just picks their stories from the link submissions. Or it's Kismet (or Yahtzee).
 
2012-06-05 08:42:51 PM  
Clive Barker likes movies about gladiators. Color me unsurprised.
 
2012-06-05 08:46:01 PM  
www.iamnickarmstrong.com
 
2012-06-05 08:53:28 PM  
The gay sex quotient for this movie has certainly increased.

NTTAWWT
 
2012-06-05 08:55:42 PM  
A payday is a payday.

As long as stuff like this pays the bills for good Clive Barker, I'm ok with it.

Off topic a bit. Has there been any new word on Brian Keene's "The Rising" coming to theaters? Last I had heard it was optioned.
 
2012-06-05 08:57:03 PM  
Zombies also cured by warm oil rubs at a Turkish bath house.
 
2012-06-05 09:04:24 PM  

FunkOut: Zombies also cured by warm oil rubs at a Turkish bath house.


img832.imageshack.us

NO!
 
2012-06-05 09:13:28 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: FunkOut: Zombies also cured by warm oil rubs at a Turkish bath house.

[img832.imageshack.us image 354x460]

NO!


Maybe they aren't zombies at all. Maybe they just need to exfoliate and moisturise more.
 
2012-06-05 09:20:09 PM  
I'm still mad that Jericho's getting a sequel and Undying isn't...
 
2012-06-05 09:25:30 PM  
Cowboys & Aliens, anyone?
 
2012-06-05 09:26:50 PM  

Virtual Pariah: Off topic a bit. Has there been any new word on Brian Keene's "The Rising" coming to theaters? Last I had heard it was optioned.


Never heard of it, but I'm always on the lookout for a good zombie book. Reading "Breathers" right now.
 
2012-06-05 09:58:12 PM  

Mugato: Whar Hellraiser remake, Clive? Whar?

I mean I hate remakes for the most part, especially horror remakes but Barker said that he didn't get to do everything he wanted to with the original Hellraiser and it's such an awesome concept that was never really realized, I think given all the bullshiat remakes that are out now, this is in order. And Nightbreed too. Although not as much of a remake because I think it stands on its own but surely some sequels.


I would much prefer a Great and Secret show miniseries on HBO or Weaveworld even. CB has so many good stories that haven't been taken advantage of.
 
2012-06-05 10:54:44 PM  

burnvictim: I would much prefer a Great and Secret show miniseries on HBO or Weaveworld even. CB has so many good stories that haven't been taken advantage of.


This. With the tech we have now, GaSS could be done very well and would rock. I'd love to see the Iad Uroboros on screen.
 
2012-06-05 10:56:32 PM  

burnvictim: I would much prefer a Great and Secret show miniseries on HBO or Weaveworld even. CB has so many good stories that haven't been taken advantage of.


I'd love to see someone do Coldheart Canyon as a fark-you to all of Hollywood. Maybe get Robert Towne to write the script.

/it would probably have to be NC-17, though
 
2012-06-05 11:06:02 PM  
Well, I for one am of the opinion that zombies would starve in Hollywood, since there doesn't seem to be a single brain among them.

/please, zombie purists, I KNOW that they don't eat brains, and that it came from a crappy 80s zombie flick. Leave me alone.
 
2012-06-05 11:45:25 PM  

Mugato: Whar Hellraiser remake, Clive? Whar?

I mean I hate remakes for the most part, especially horror remakes but Barker said that he didn't get to do everything he wanted to with the original Hellraiser and it's such an awesome concept that was never really realized, I think given all the bullshiat remakes that are out now, this is in order. And Nightbreed too. Although not as much of a remake because I think it stands on its own but surely some sequels.


Yeah, that stupid cube was... AWESOME!!!!!!

/down with a reboot
 
2012-06-05 11:55:09 PM  
This better be a deal where he does this script and then they greenlight an animated version of The Thief of Always.

/or, you know, the Weaveworld or Great and Secret Show mini-series
//or the NC-17 Coldheart Canyon ectoplasmic fark-a-thon
///anything, really
 
2012-06-06 12:23:15 AM  
Clive has some other business going on.

Clive Barker sued by ex boyfriend for giving him the hivvy
 
2012-06-06 12:44:04 AM  

CarnySaur: I haven't figured out if people read stories from Ain't It Cool News and then submit them here, or if someone from Ain't It Cool News is a Total Farker and just picks their stories from the link submissions. Or it's Kismet (or Yahtzee).




There is one person here who has the same name as one on AICN.

I remember when AICN was cool. Used to have real spy photos from sets and had plenty of insiders feeding 'old fat Harry. I'm guessing that when the studios figured out how to get good review$ the spy photos stopped.

Used to be Ted Pikul over there. Quit visiting the sight around 1996-97.

You used to have a great site harry...
 
2012-06-06 12:49:30 AM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Clive has some other business going on.

Clive Barker sued by ex boyfriend for giving him the hivvy


Holy fark. He's alluded to some bad personal matters in interviews over the last few years, but I didn't realize it was this bad.
 
2012-06-06 01:28:35 AM  
Are we almost done with this zombie stuff? Talk about beating an undead horse.
 
2012-06-06 02:01:00 AM  

Mugato: Whar Hellraiser remake, Clive? Whar?

I mean I hate remakes for the most part, especially horror remakes but Barker said that he didn't get to do everything he wanted to with the original Hellraiser and it's such an awesome concept that was never really realized, I think given all the bullshiat remakes that are out now, this is in order. And Nightbreed too. Although not as much of a remake because I think it stands on its own but surely some sequels.


You need to check out Occupy Midian. It's a movement to get the DC of Nightbreed released.
 
2012-06-06 02:10:37 AM  
I thought I read something somewhere that they were finally going to do a sequal to Nightbreed, then I read that it might be a remake. Then that was scrapped to make a remake of Hellraiser....&$^# I can't keep track of all these god damn remakes and crap.

Anyways I guess since they cancelled Spartacus (DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL YOU DIRTY APES) they could just hire that cast and crew. Except I don't want to see naked zombies farking each other, no thank you.

p.s. FARK YOU STARZ
 
2012-06-06 02:51:11 AM  
I love Barker, I love gladiators and I love zombies... and I am very leery about this project. Worrisome.

Also, where the hell's The Scarlet Gospels, Clive?
 
2012-06-06 06:55:26 AM  
imokwiththis.jpg
 
2012-06-06 09:49:53 AM  

zombiegoat: I love Barker, I love gladiators and I love zombies... and I am very leery about this project. Worrisome.

Also, where the hell's The Scarlet Gospels, Clive?


THIS THIS THIS!!!
 
2012-06-06 10:31:19 AM  

Mugato: Whar Hellraiser remake, Clive? Whar?


Cliver Barker: Whar financing and funding for Hellraiser remake, Whar?
 
2012-06-06 10:35:54 AM  
So...where oes Barker rank on the horror lit scale? I'm a fan of most King works, and a few other minor authors. Would I like Barker?
 
2012-06-06 12:12:41 PM  

Darth Macho: Clive Barker likes movies about gladiators. Color me unsurprised.


Do you like movies about gladiators?

/ever seen a grown man naked?
 
2012-06-06 01:18:31 PM  

Virtual Pariah: A payday is a payday.

As long as stuff like this pays the bills for good Clive Barker, I'm ok with it.

Off topic a bit. Has there been any new word on Brian Keene's "The Rising" coming to theaters? Last I had heard it was optioned.


Now that one.. I will go and see.. Keene is a sick fark, but he's my kind of sick fark.. ;)
 
2012-06-06 01:21:47 PM  

fusillade762: Virtual Pariah: Off topic a bit. Has there been any new word on Brian Keene's "The Rising" coming to theaters? Last I had heard it was optioned.

Never heard of it, but I'm always on the lookout for a good zombie book. Reading "Breathers" right now.


Check out Day by Day Armageddon by J.L. Bourne.. Fun read.
 
462
2012-06-06 03:41:55 PM  
Dear Clive,

fark you, GBTW on The Scarlet Gospels.
 
2012-06-06 04:39:46 PM  

metallion: fusillade762: Virtual Pariah: Off topic a bit. Has there been any new word on Brian Keene's "The Rising" coming to theaters? Last I had heard it was optioned.

Never heard of it, but I'm always on the lookout for a good zombie book. Reading "Breathers" right now.

Check out Day by Day Armageddon by J.L. Bourne.. Fun read.


Yup, read that one (and the sequel). Good stuff. Ben Tripp's "Rise Again" is pretty good, too. And I just finished "White Horse" the other night. Not technically a zombie book, but close: virus kills 90% of humanity, 5% are immune and the other 5% mutate horribly, some into vicious cannibals.
 
2012-06-06 06:25:51 PM  
So subby, have you ever been inside a Turkish Prison
 
2012-06-06 09:06:23 PM  
FAIL?!. No. AWESOME!!!! Yes.

/Clive Barker is a living coin-toss.
 
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