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(Cracked)   There are weird origins of superheroes and then there is this: The six Most Half-Assed Superhero Origins of All Time, including drinking plastic to gain powers   (cracked.com) divider line 21
    More: Amusing, superhero movies, Jim Harper, laziness, evils, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Defensor  
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6914 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Jun 2012 at 11:53 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-05 12:03:34 PM  
 
2012-06-05 12:04:57 PM  
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-05 12:23:27 PM  

PacManDreaming: If they think those comics are bad, wait'll they get a load of The Whizzer (scroll down about 1/3 of the way).


Wouldn't it make more sense for someone named "The Whizzer" to get powers came from drinking radioactive beer? It would definitely be a unique power.
 
2012-06-05 12:25:37 PM  
Sure, let's all laugh at Bouncing Boy. Fat kid with a stupid power.

But who does he end up marrying?

That's right. Duplicate Damsel. The fat kid gets to go home to an instant threesome every night. Foursome if she's back to being Triad.
 
2012-06-05 12:34:47 PM  

PacManDreaming: If they think those comics are bad, wait'll they get a load of The Whizzer (scroll down about 1/3 of the way).


I still wonder what a mongoose was doing in Africa.
 
2012-06-05 01:11:13 PM  

Fano: I still wonder what a mongoose was doing in Africa.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpestidae
 
2012-06-05 01:19:23 PM  

runcible spork: Fano: I still wonder what a mongoose was doing in Africa.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpestidae


Thanks!

I also learned that mongooses giggle during copulation.
 
2012-06-05 01:22:04 PM  
And people wonder why they are called nerds for reading comics...
 
2012-06-05 01:38:04 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: Sure, let's all laugh at Bouncing Boy. Fat kid with a stupid power.

But who does he end up marrying?

That's right. Duplicate Damsel. The fat kid gets to go home to an instant threesome every night. Foursome if she's back to being Triad.


This article will demonstrate what a bad-ass Bouncing Boy really is.
 
2012-06-05 02:07:21 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: Sure, let's all laugh at Bouncing Boy. Fat kid with a stupid power.

But who does he end up marrying?

That's right. Duplicate Damsel. The fat kid gets to go home to an instant threesome every night. Foursome if she's back to being Triad.


iirc, Triplicate Girl became Duo Damsel.
But, yeah.

superfriendsofdorothy.com

/mostly a pre-crisis kinda guy
 
2012-06-05 03:01:17 PM  
Seanbaby is the king of superhero write-ups.
 
2012-06-05 03:20:04 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: RoyFokker'sGhost: Sure, let's all laugh at Bouncing Boy. Fat kid with a stupid power.

But who does he end up marrying?

That's right. Duplicate Damsel. The fat kid gets to go home to an instant threesome every night. Foursome if she's back to being Triad.

This article will demonstrate what a bad-ass Bouncing Boy really is.


That was a pretty cool read. Nice to see a guy come in and grow to be a sort of important guy through attitude and skill instead of super power.
 
2012-06-05 04:23:51 PM  
And then there's The Phantom Stranger, who had to stab Jesus while he was on the cross to get his powers.

namtab.com
 
2012-06-05 04:58:24 PM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: And then there's The Phantom Stranger, who had to stab Jesus while he was on the cross to get his powers.

[namtab.com image 410x641]


That's at least one origin. In the nuDC he has a new one.
 
2012-06-05 05:14:19 PM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: And then there's The Phantom Stranger, who had to stab Jesus while he was on the cross to get his powers.

[namtab.com image 410x641]



upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-05 06:01:57 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: RoyFokker'sGhost: Sure, let's all laugh at Bouncing Boy. Fat kid with a stupid power.

But who does he end up marrying?

That's right. Duplicate Damsel. The fat kid gets to go home to an instant threesome every night. Foursome if she's back to being Triad.

iirc, Triplicate Girl became Duo Damsel.
But, yeah.

[superfriendsofdorothy.com image 332x442]

/mostly a pre-crisis kinda guy


Lucky, pudgy bastard... -_-
 
2012-06-05 06:20:23 PM  

Fano: runcible spork: Fano: I still wonder what a mongoose was doing in Africa.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpestidae

Thanks!

I also learned that mongooses giggle during copulation.


So this whole time my wife's been a mongoose?
 
2012-06-05 07:32:49 PM  

Calamormine: Fano: runcible spork: Fano: I still wonder what a mongoose was doing in Africa.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpestidae

Thanks!

I also learned that mongooses giggle during copulation.

So this whole time my wife's been a mongoose?


I'd have guessed a gerbil.
 
2012-06-05 09:05:26 PM  
Pfft. There are way worse origins than some of those.

The Guardian actually has a pretty decent origin. Nice and straightforward. Same with Defensor.

And having a shield as your primary weapon works pretty farking well for Captain farking America.
 
2012-06-05 10:06:52 PM  

skepticultist: Pfft. There are way worse origins than some of those.

The Guardian actually has a pretty decent origin. Nice and straightforward. Same with Defensor.

And having a shield as your primary weapon works pretty farking well for Captain farking America.


Except he's a primary character who's also been exposed to a super soldier serum, wears armor, and has a 'brilliant tactians mind' or whatever they're saying now. Basically he's got more than just the shield. Plus it's a magic shield.
 
2012-06-06 09:20:07 AM  
The thread definitely needs a seanbaby tag. He's always worth reading.
 
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