Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Trebuchet Magazine)   'Why on Earth do high-security inmates need so much greasy ointment?' official study asks. HUGE ELEPHANT in the room goes completely unnoticed   (trebuchet-magazine.com) divider line 55
    More: Stupid, prison inmates, antibiotic resistance, infection control  
•       •       •

10048 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jun 2012 at 9:40 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-05 09:09:16 AM  
Yes! A prison-rape thread!
 
2012-06-05 09:42:14 AM  
Keep it greasy so it'll go down easy.
 
2012-06-05 09:44:38 AM  
Bite the pillow; I'm going in dry.
 
2012-06-05 09:44:47 AM  
who ordered the tossed salad?
 
2012-06-05 09:45:24 AM  

IrateShadow: Bite the pillow; I'm going in dry.


That's how real men do it.
 
2012-06-05 09:45:27 AM  
badbutfunny.com
 
2012-06-05 09:46:27 AM  

IrateShadow: Bite the pillow; I'm going in dry.


It feels so much better for you if you pack his asshole with tobacco to absorb any incidental moisture and sandpaper his colon with every thrust.
 
2012-06-05 09:47:09 AM  
The study wasn't questioning why the are using greasy ointments, but why they are using anti-bacterial ointments when other things are available, which is a very important question because overuse of these antibacterial ointments can lead to drug resistant bacterial strains. My guess is the other types of things, such as lotion, that are available to them aren't as an effective lube for buttsex or what ever women prisoners use lube for.
 
2012-06-05 09:47:18 AM  

IrateShadow: Bite the pillow; I'm going in dry.


inst-contemporaneas.pt
 
2012-06-05 09:48:01 AM  
Who here hasn't smeared a shiatload of petroleum jelly on their face prior to shaving?
 
2012-06-05 09:49:31 AM  
HUGE ELEPHANT?
gifs.gifbin.com
 
OGC
2012-06-05 09:52:33 AM  
I prefer syrup.
 
2012-06-05 09:53:17 AM  
And the elephant is: Obviously they are extracting the alcohol from the antibacterial ointments so they can drink it.
 
2012-06-05 09:53:44 AM  
reading this situation I have a good guess that this is probably because they use it for helping sex in the a___. Very common in all prions with guys all round the world, read anything about prisons and you'll se this. Often times they will make a guy in the prison be a woman make her/him have long hair ect and then even call his a___ a p___y. They say that in this situation they are not gay they are just normal guys that need to f___. Not sure I can get this but if I was in prison without sex for say a moth I would probably start going crazy then who knows what I would do! No way would I let a guy do it to me though probably just close my eyes and let him use his mouth (too much information lol).
 
2012-06-05 09:54:02 AM  

ongbok: The study wasn't questioning why the are using greasy ointments, but why they are using anti-bacterial ointments when other things are available, which is a very important question because overuse of these antibacterial ointments can lead to drug resistant bacterial strains. My guess is the other types of things, such as lotion, that are available to them aren't as an effective lube for buttsex or what ever women prisoners use lube for.


Or perhaps they are under the misapprehension that antibiotics used in such a fashion would stop the transmission of STD's.
 
2012-06-05 09:54:29 AM  
Probably more for masturbation than sex.
 
2012-06-05 09:56:13 AM  

BesiktasBoy83: reading this situation I have a good guess that this is probably because they use it for helping sex in the a___. Very common in all prions with guys all round the world, read anything about prisons and you'll se this. Often times they will make a guy in the prison be a woman make her/him have long hair ect and then even call his a___ a p___y. They say that in this situation they are not gay they are just normal guys that need to f___. Not sure I can get this but if I was in prison without sex for say a moth I would probably start going crazy then who knows what I would do! No way would I let a guy do it to me though probably just close my eyes and let him use his mouth (too much information lol).

 
2012-06-05 09:57:00 AM  
farm5.staticflickr.com
/preview before post if your friend, Tapakip
 
2012-06-05 10:00:39 AM  
This is two fold:

You have to know if you're a criminal you are stupid so it goes without saying they would think if they use anti-bacterial lube for butt sex it will cut down and or keep them from getting HIV or other infections.

Also anti-bacterial means there is alcohol in it so there is that and although stupid they are clever.
 
2012-06-05 10:01:21 AM  
reading this situation I have a good guess that this is probably because they use it for helping sex in the a___. Very common in all prions with guys all round the world, read anything about prisons and you'll se this. Often times they will make a guy in the prison be a woman make her/him have long hair ect and then even call his a___ a p___y. They say that in this situation they are not gay they are just normal guys that need to f___.

Gosh, I'll be darned. Who knew?!
 
2012-06-05 10:01:46 AM  
SEE!! Homos CHOOSE to be gay!!!
 
2012-06-05 10:02:17 AM  

Tapakip: [farm5.staticflickr.com image 640x291]
/preview before post if your friend, Tapakip


Epic. Fail. ;)
 
2012-06-05 10:03:58 AM  

BesiktasBoy83: reading this situation I have a good guess that this is probably because they use it for helping sex in the armpit. Very common in all prions with guys all round the world, read anything about prisons and you'll see this. Often times they will make a guy in the prison be a woman make her/him have long hair ect and then even call his armpit a pinky. They say that in this situation they are not gay they are just normal guys that need to fish. Not sure I can get this but if I was in prison without sex for say a moth I would probably start going crazy then who knows what I would do! No way would I let a guy do it to me though probably just close my eyes and let him use his mouth (too much information lol).


I'm horrible at these games.
 
2012-06-05 10:04:47 AM  

dittybopper: ongbok: The study wasn't questioning why the are using greasy ointments, but why they are using anti-bacterial ointments when other things are available, which is a very important question because overuse of these antibacterial ointments can lead to drug resistant bacterial strains. My guess is the other types of things, such as lotion, that are available to them aren't as an effective lube for buttsex or what ever women prisoners use lube for.

Or perhaps they are under the misapprehension that antibiotics used in such a fashion would stop the transmission of STD's.


I saw on one show about prisons, I think it was Lockup, the prison warden decided to put condom machines in the prison because of the high rates of STD's among the prison population.
 
2012-06-05 10:06:15 AM  
"Prison inmates overuse Ointment. Study asks why."

Wow wonder how much of tax payer money went to this "study?"

They could have save hundred of thousands by just posting the question on fark!
 
2012-06-05 10:08:54 AM  
images.zap2it.com
 
2012-06-05 10:09:53 AM  

Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: reading this situation I have a good guess that this is probably because they use it for helping sex in the armpit. Very common in all prions with guys all round the world, read anything about prisons and you'll see this. Often times they will make a guy in the prison be a woman make her/him have long hair ect and then even call his armpit a pinky. They say that in this situation they are not gay they are just normal guys that need to fish. Not sure I can get this but if I was in prison without sex for say a moth I would probably start going crazy then who knows what I would do! No way would I let a guy do it to me though probably just close my eyes and let him use his mouth (too much information lol).

I'm horrible at these games.


Let me get this straight...you're saying that if prisoners had Mad Libs there would be less rape and therfore less need for greasy ointments?
 
2012-06-05 10:10:36 AM  
Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him
 
2012-06-05 10:10:52 AM  
I masturbate constantly and I'm a free man. If I were in prison there wouldn't be enough lubricant in the solar system for all the spanking I'd be doing.
 
2012-06-05 10:15:42 AM  

braedan: Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: reading this situation I have a good guess that this is probably because they use it for helping sex in the armpit. Very common in all prions with guys all round the world, read anything about prisons and you'll see this. Often times they will make a guy in the prison be a woman make her/him have long hair ect and then even call his armpit a pinky. They say that in this situation they are not gay they are just normal guys that need to fish. Not sure I can get this but if I was in prison without sex for say a moth I would probably start going crazy then who knows what I would do! No way would I let a guy do it to me though probably just close my eyes and let him use his mouth (too much information lol).

I'm horrible at these games.

Let me get this straight...you're saying that if prisoners had Mad Libs there would be less rape and therfore less need for greasy ointments?


Ummm. Yes?
 
2012-06-05 10:21:01 AM  

Langdon Alger: Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him


Great movie one of the best. Got to say though if I had been andy then no way would I have let them do that. any way you can you prevent that only way they could really do it is if they beat you so hard you are asleep then do it. Any other way you keep fighting. Apart from that issue great movie the part where they drink the beer on the roof is probably my favourite. Youtube it if you have'nt seen it.
 
2012-06-05 10:25:48 AM  

BesiktasBoy83: Langdon Alger: Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him

Great movie one of the best. Got to say though if I had been andy then no way would I have let them do that. any way you can you prevent that only way they could really do it is if they beat you so hard you are asleep then do it. Any other way you keep fighting. Apart from that issue great movie the part where they drink the beer on the roof is probably my favourite. Youtube it if you have'nt seen it.


Umm, you can fight all you want, but if you got three guys holding you down, ain't much you're going to be able to do to stop them.
 
2012-06-05 10:27:21 AM  
Best part of that article...


P.S. Please be aware of the disctinction between 'gay' and 'rapist' before claiming this news report is homophobic.
 
2012-06-05 10:29:03 AM  

mytdawg: Best part of that article...


P.S. Please be aware of the disctinction between 'gay' and 'rapist' before claiming this news report is homophobic.


That's no fun. I like may gaydom with a dash of rape, every now and again.
 
2012-06-05 10:29:49 AM  
Man. I'm sure I'll get mocked for this shiat but, of all the nasty shiat I DO come to fark for. And laugh about. Clever jokes about ass secks make me wrinkle my nose.
 
2012-06-05 10:33:55 AM  

Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: Langdon Alger: Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him

Great movie one of the best. Got to say though if I had been andy then no way would I have let them do that. any way you can you prevent that only way they could really do it is if they beat you so hard you are asleep then do it. Any other way you keep fighting. Apart from that issue great movie the part where they drink the beer on the roof is probably my favourite. Youtube it if you have'nt seen it.

Umm, you can fight all you want, but if you got three guys holding you down, ain't much you're going to be able to do to stop them.


they might hold you down but you fight & bite ect. Then OK lets say you are on your front/stomach on the ground and one of them is trying to put his p____ is your a___. So you just give up? No of course not you hold your a___ together tight and even if they pull your a___ away from your hole then you can still make it tight like you are holding in a s___ . then if they even get a tip part inside you make push your a__ like you are doing a s___ to keep it out. I thought it was bad part of the story all through Andy is the biggest fighter then he just gives up? No way. Anyway just my thoughts no need to argue. Weird thing to argue about as well ;)
 
2012-06-05 10:37:28 AM  

BesiktasBoy83: Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: Langdon Alger: Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him

Great movie one of the best. Got to say though if I had been andy then no way would I have let them do that. any way you can you prevent that only way they could really do it is if they beat you so hard you are asleep then do it. Any other way you keep fighting. Apart from that issue great movie the part where they drink the beer on the roof is probably my favourite. Youtube it if you have'nt seen it.

Umm, you can fight all you want, but if you got three guys holding you down, ain't much you're going to be able to do to stop them.

they might hold you down but you fight & bite ect. Then OK lets say you are on your front/stomach on the ground and one of them is trying to put his p____ is your a___. So you just give up? No of course not you hold your a___ together tight and even if they pull your a___ away from your hole then you can still make it tight like you are holding in a s___ . then if they even get a tip part inside you make push your a__ like you are doing a s___ to keep it out. I thought it was bad part of the story all through Andy is the biggest fighter then he just gives up? No way. Anyway just my thoughts no need to argue. Weird thing to argue about as well ;)


I don't know if you're trying to be all 'internet tough guy,' or if you're trying to turn me on. I'm so confused.
 
2012-06-05 10:39:26 AM  
Sadly, BIG ELEPHANT was the name of my prison roomie.

/he wasn't fat
 
2012-06-05 10:39:38 AM  

Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: Langdon Alger: Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him

Great movie one of the best. Got to say though if I had been andy then no way would I have let them do that. any way you can you prevent that only way they could really do it is if they beat you so hard you are asleep then do it. Any other way you keep fighting. Apart from that issue great movie the part where they drink the beer on the roof is probably my favourite. Youtube it if you have'nt seen it.

Umm, you can fight all you want, but if you got three guys holding you down, ain't much you're going to be able to do to stop them.

they might hold you down but you fight & bite ect. Then OK lets say you are on your front/stomach on the ground and one of them is trying to put his p____ is your a___. So you just give up? No of course not you hold your a___ together tight and even if they pull your a___ away from your hole then you can still make it tight like you are holding in a s___ . then if they even get a tip part inside you make push your a__ like you are doing a s___ to keep it out. I thought it was bad part of the story all through Andy is the biggest fighter then he just gives up? No way. Anyway just my thoughts no need to argue. Weird thing to argue about as well ;)

I don't know if you're trying to be all 'internet tough guy,' or if you're trying to turn me on. ...


if this thought turns you on you need to get help bro.
 
2012-06-05 10:39:56 AM  
COOL AS ICE!
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-05 10:40:55 AM  
HUGE ELEPHANT

/which corresponds with the headline
//never frickin' mind
 
2012-06-05 10:43:39 AM  

KimNorth: This is two fold:

You have to know if you're a criminal you are stupid so it goes without saying they would think if they use anti-bacterial lube for butt sex it will cut down and or keep them from getting HIV or other infections.

Also anti-bacterial means there is alcohol in it so there is that and although stupid they are clever.


Not sure if serious here... HIV, being a virus and all, wouldn't be effected by anything antibacterial
 
2012-06-05 10:50:54 AM  
Antibacterial ointment is a great dressing for
peoriasteakandfries.com
/Though not as good as syrup.
 
2012-06-05 10:54:18 AM  
content9.flixster.com
"Hey...guess what time it is. Go ahead. Guess"
'Time for me to uneventfully walk away?'
"Not quite."

/Alternate version
"Hey, guess who just found a fresh can of axel grease!"
 
2012-06-05 10:57:28 AM  
Mountain Man: [to Bobby] Them panties. Take 'em off.
 
2012-06-05 11:29:24 AM  

Cythraul: BesiktasBoy83: Langdon Alger: Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for him, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of him

Great movie one of the best. Got to say though if I had been andy then no way would I have let them do that. any way you can you prevent that only way they could really do it is if they beat you so hard you are asleep then do it. Any other way you keep fighting. Apart from that issue great movie the part where they drink the beer on the roof is probably my favourite. Youtube it if you have'nt seen it.

Umm, you can fight all you want, but if you got three guys holding you down, ain't much you're going to be able to do to stop them.


Don't feed the Alttrolls.
 
2012-06-05 11:37:49 AM  

Obligatory:

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-05 12:05:28 PM  
Contrary to popular vicarious belief, actual rape rape in prison isn't all too common. Sure, it happens, but not the degree popularized by authoritarian hardons. County Jail over the weekend? Yeah, you could easily get raped.

See these corpo-prisons try to keep the costs down, and rape can cost money. Mainly because of how the raped really have nothing better to do than shiv the guy what rapes him. In county jail people are moved around all the time and are rife with 'rape of opportunity'.

/rape
 
2012-06-05 12:05:30 PM  

Cythraul: I don't know if you're trying to be all 'internet tough guy,' or if you're trying to turn me on. I'm so confused.


He's a poor man's meow said the dog, with less talent.
 
2012-06-05 12:06:15 PM  

Farkin'round: Obligatory:


Haven't seen that one for a while. Nice to bring back the classics.
 
Displayed 50 of 55 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report