Did that author really write that there are no date rape jokes? I swear I've heard one, and I think I broke a nose afterward.

5 ways to read a 2-page list.

Wangiss: Did that author really write that there are no date rape jokes? I swear I've heard one, and I think I broke a nose afterward.

How many noses do you have??

Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.

How to tap a keg, how to pour a beer, selective morals...

Aeon Rising: Wangiss: Did that author really write that there are no date rape jokes? I swear I've heard one, and I think I broke a nose afterward.

How many noses do you have??

Yay

All five are learned without college as well. Perhaps "closed mindedness" and "one point of view" were accidentally learned as well.

Not all lessons taught are accurate.

#6. How to lose all your money before you've even made any.

The author seems to have failed at college.

Ed Willy: Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.


Huh, wonder how I got my job, then...

I have 2 science degrees (1 graduate), and I'm using the "worthless" stuff I learned in college every day in my [previously] entry-level job for which I had zero experience.

Embden.Meyerhof: I have 2 science degrees (1 graduate), and I'm using the "worthless" stuff I learned in college every day in my [previously] entry-level job for which I had zero experience.

Good job! From the general FARK tone, I had thought that I was the only person to get job in a field related to my studies, and with minimal debt to boot.

I actually thought college was a waste of time. More so since I did liberal arts. It was just a requirement into grad school.

With some exception, I didn't even think college was that much fun. When I meet old friends or alums from my undergrad college and see them wax nostalgic for the "good times", I just laugh.

Best time in my life was early in my career, making discretionary cash, eating at nice places and getting boozed up (or worse) after work at nice bars. Fark college - just 4 years of extra babysitting.

College is just a 4-5 year long "ramp-up" to the real world.

Wangiss: Aeon Rising: Wangiss: Did that author really write that there are no date rape jokes? I swear I've heard one, and I think I broke a nose afterward.

How many noses do you have??

Yay

Attempts at actual date rape jokes all started to get personal and wrong. The nose joke was all that was left.

Well, there is some kind of visual gag that could be done with the date fruit being raped, or a therapist anthropomorphic date raping something with some calligraphy that turns therapist into two words.

But I can't draw.

The three beer trick taught me the world runs on a series of blowjobs and will make your ass and knees sore.

Well, to be fair, he does write for CrappedCracked.

Ed Willy: Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.

You sound like you either #1 didn't go to college or #2 went after a useless art degree.

Modern college is highschool 2. Its just that no one wants to accept it.

College teaches you to function with a hangover, which is possibly one of the single most important and useful skills one can have.

Seems like someone doesn't have many good memories about college.

I use skills I gained at college pretty much every day at work. What's really weird to me is that it's the courses I paid the least attention to that have become the most important to my current job. I pretty much sailed through prob & stat and discreet math, and virtually never cracked a book in database theory. But now I work in the database field on a highly analytical platform. Luckily I retained enough basic understanding of the fields that I was able to go back and fill in the gaps pretty easily.

Cheron: How to tap a keg, how to pour a beer, selective morals...

Funny,

Somehow we at our highschool were WAYYY ahead of the curve with this. I got alot of female attention purely because I was the one that knew how to tap a keg, meaning I was always at the front of the beer line (or allowed to the front of the beer line)....THEN I would hold onto that tap and pour all the fine young ladies a beer first.

/It really worked to my advantage
//Seriously, people knew me as the "Beer Baron" and not my real name for a LONG time
///Stupid nickname I know

Ed Willy: Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.

That's why you do a co-op program. I graduated with a B.A.Sc. and 2 years of work experience. The economy was a lot boomier back then but I had no shortage of job offers when I graduated.

fireclown: Embden.Meyerhof: I have 2 science degrees (1 graduate), and I'm using the "worthless" stuff I learned in college every day in my [previously] entry-level job for which I had zero experience.

Good job! From the general FARK tone, I had thought that I was the only person to get job in a field related to my studies, and with minimal debt to boot.

I'm working in my field of study, doing rather well for myself. My debt wasn't "minimal," but since I was already experienced in a related field, applying my degree to my work has been a very quick and profitable transition.

College taught me that girls between the ages of 18 and 22 are really easy to bang.

I also learned that egomaniacal neurotics with virtually zero experience in business who have risen to the middle of the academic ladder can always be counted on to sneer at the non-governmental and non-academic achievements and endeavors of people who provide genuine value in competitive markets.

Whoops. Sorry about that ;)

que.guero: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 325x300]

I'll just leave this here...

most cracked articles are meh. but his assessment of her made me bust a gut. i will never see joffrey the same way again.

/still giggling uncontrollably

What I've learned in college: weasels succeed.

Social skills and human interaction were the biggest pros of college. I also learned a lot about the female species, things to, and things not to do.

Plus I now get to go back to football games and act a fool occasionally.

Kar98: What I've learned in college: weasels succeed.

Honesty is not the best policy.

/what i learned
//unsuccessful

The problem is that neither graduating High School nor earning an Associate's Degree amounts to proof of literacy. Employers who require literate employees screen by advertising "BA or BS required." That doesn't mean you won't get the job, but most people assume it does.

We called college 13th grade. I went to a Massachusetts state school ($9K per year at the time). Through sports, I saw Harvard, Yale, MIT, BC, BU, Tufts, Williams, Amherst, Trinity, Middlebury,Wesleyan, Norwich, Coast Guard Academy, Bowdoin, Colby, and Bates, to name a few. Every year.

I learned that there are people in this world who could afford to go to a college that cost (at the time) $35,000 +/- per year. They had nice academic facilities, nice athletic facilities, a campus that was well taken care of, and there may even have been a nice courtyard or two, with fountains. They had lenient rules on parties and alcohol, including in college sponsored social events.

And I knew there would always be people who have more than I have, whether they deserve it or not. Jerks. And I'm OK with that. Still holds true to this day in the corporate environment, both within the company I work at and when comparing my company to those around me.

1. A little amount of effort can reap great rewards. But 0 effort almost always = 0 rewards.

Ed Willy: Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.

How can an entry level job require experience? Doesn't it by definition? I mean if you need experience, it's obviously not "entry-level". Right?

Jument: That's why you do a co-op program. I graduated with a B.A.Sc. and 2 years of work experience.

Or even with a side job in the field, just verifiable enough to put it on a resume. Why yes, I've got a fresh computer science degree, but I've been diddling in this field for years, and the entire time I eventually got a degree in it, I was working, in this field.

/got hired for a full time job with all the bennies two weeks out of college.

Treygreen13: College taught me several important lessons for the real world.

4. Life is unfair. It sucks.

On my office door I have posted one of those "Happy Bunny" stickers that exclaims, "School prepares you for the real world...which also sucks." I think that about sums it up. My freshmen seem to learn that lesson quite well by the time they leave my class, and they're very good at reminding me of the same.

CruJones: Ed Willy: Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.

How can an entry level job require experience? Doesn't it by definition? I mean if you need experience, it's obviously not "entry-level". Right?

Not in 'Murica ^tm.

How to sleep in/on random places not intended as a bed?
Banging hot chicks is a good time?

/And thanks to college I hope to keep doing that well into my 40's then die in a jetski accident somewhere in mexico.

kwame: Ed Willy: Sorry, subby, but college does not prepare you for a career. Every entry level job requires 2-5 years experience. The stuff you learn in college is worthless without 2-5 years (usually unpaid) experience.

It's true. Writing, networking, time management, interpersonal, intercultural, and self-advocacy skills have absolutely no use in a job.

2 people nitpicking this because he left out the word "fully". Yay, Fark is as pedantic as Reddit...

Wow, that was stupid. I offer a different list of five:

1) MS Office (or equivalent). Whether you decide to major in Solid-state Physics or Underwater Basket-weaving, at some point you will have to write a report and do a lab and, like everyone else, will probably bullshiat them. But you can't even do that if you don't know how to properly use office software, which is an explicit requirement for pretty much any office job these days. I'm sure a lot of high schools already teach these courses, but in college it's more like the real world in that it's a basic expectation.

2) Housework. Granted there are some precious snowflakes who go out of their way to attend college close to home with a fealty one might call "creepy", but in many cases the adolescent separation instinct has been repressed for five years and is ready to burst, which means you're only going to go home when you absolutely have to. That can mean "when you run out of money/food/clean clothes", but sooner or later, you will find yourself needing a certain garment (sock, shirt, whatever) and (unless you're one of those people) you know in your heart that every one you have in front of you smells too bad to wear in public, "I don't care about the world" attitude be damned. And now it's time for mama's boy to learn how to do his own laundry. Invariably some losers will be dragged along the absolute minimum, but otherwise college is a great place to figure out just where your chore/sanity balance lies. Learning this lesson in the real world can be much more painful, partly because it's more embarrassing to ask others for advice at a coin laundromat.

3) Similar to the separation instinct is the vice repression instinct. Unless you're already a promiscuous drunk (in which case you probably didn't get into an accredited college anyway) you've got several years' worth of pent-up immaturity to work out of your system. This may last beyond graduation/drop-out, but hopefully you'll sober up in your mid-20s before you waste your last real chance to get a job.

4) College is, for many kids this generation, the first real opportunity to get the royal shiat kicked out of them. The real world is NOT cruel; it is merely apathetic to your emotional baggage. That said, if you're a kid with no coping mechanisms, living without an emotional crutch is a terrifying shock. Going from HS to a job & paying rent can be a little too jarring for some sheltered kids, but college can work as a nice transition as the school (unlike HS) will hold you accountable but procrastination won't result in you getting fired and evicted. Again this doesn't apply if you still live at home and some may argue it's unnecessary, but to some kids who have a lot of growing up to do, dorm life can be useful.

5) You are now officially at your own pace. Some kids are ahead of the curve in this respect, but in college you'll eventually see a 16-year-old prodigy acing every course or 40-year-old trying to create a second chance. You'll still see a lot of vapid idiots comparing themselves to each other, but most people eventually get that turning every little piece of life into a competition is rather pointless. Granted the real world can teach this lesson, but "life isn't fair" in college isn't nearly as soul-crushing as crappy job, so this is another more forgiving way to teach kids about the world than trial by fire. Which is what TFA is about.

kwame SmartestFunniest 2012-06-04 03:49:34 PM


SirEattonHogg: I didn't even think college was that much fun

It makes me sad that you couldn't find a way to enjoy that.

That's alright, man. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it (presumably).