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(Lex 18)   Daughter: hey, look what my pet bird can dance to. Parents: he's going to hell   (lex18.com) divider line 124
    More: Asinine, Mom and Dad, Willow Smith, viral videos, Larry Bird  
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13511 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2012 at 9:56 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-04 10:39:34 AM
"I used to love rock and then Jesus came into my heart and took it completely away".

That's one of the saddest things I've ever read.

/Sold my soul to rock and roll
 
2012-06-04 10:39:50 AM

Leeds: Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?


Just wait until this country gets reborn Muslims.
They're so douchey, they blow themselves up twice.
 
2012-06-04 10:41:18 AM
Religion is a disease. I swear, its gotta be something like a Virus. Or a Prion like Jacob-Crutzfeld that does this to people. It's happened to a couple of my old friends. Its like they wake up one morning, and actively decide to turn into the absolute worst, most mealymouthed pedantic bible-thumping cheesedicks you can imagine. One walked away from a marriage, two teenage kids and a really decent job to move into some Baptist mission thing in northern California. His wife said it was literally overnight that he went from being a normal guy to a religious fanatic.

When he came back after being gone for two months or so, he preached and preached and cajoled them into finding Jesus with him or they were going to burn for all eternity. She filed for divorce that week. I still see his oldest boy around once in a while. He tells me that his pop calls every few months to berate him for being the sinner/idolater/satanist/what have you and nobody can talk to the guy anymore.

It's a disease.

I feel sorry for this girl. She's going to move out, get a life of her own and her parents are going to be utterly worthless to her. They might even cut her off from contact or refuse to acknowledge her accomplishments. Poor kid.
 
2012-06-04 10:45:43 AM
In fairness, those songs do suck.
 
2012-06-04 10:47:00 AM

Trance750: I grew up in a very strict Southern Baptist household (of which my father was a pastor), and one day I was listening to Jimi Hendrix on the old '45, and my father came home, took the record and smashed it on the wall and shouted 'I will not have devil music in my house'


I used to take my father's Hendrix records, and record them on to cassette.
 
2012-06-04 10:47:13 AM
The "death metal parrot" in the related videos is better anyway.
 
2012-06-04 10:52:40 AM
ah born again holier than thou types. Lovely at least their daughter seems to have a good head on her shoulders. and can't fault the bird for getting down to a catchy beat.
 
2012-06-04 10:55:25 AM

Mugato: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Is it 1977 already?

KISS = Knights In the Service of Satan



or AC/DC=After Christ devil comes! LOL
 
2012-06-04 10:56:00 AM

Twigz221: Which bible verse condemns rock and roll again? I seem to have missed that one.


It's that one right after Jesus says, "Ain't no homos going to Heaven!"


I just wish these people would stop making my state look even more like the Jesus-freak, in-bred, meth lab/meth-head, oxycontin-popping wasteland than it already is.
 
2012-06-04 10:56:53 AM

vudukungfu: Leeds: Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?

Just wait until this country gets reborn Muslims.
They're so douchey, they blow themselves up twice.


Lol!

Are they doubling down in the hopes of scoring 144 virgins?
 
2012-06-04 10:57:59 AM
I grew up in rural IL, and knew a bunch of people like this. Their mentality is that everything is demonic unless it is expressly Christian, and secular music in particular is bad.

But it's not just music, it's everything beyond the pale of churchiness. My best friend from childhood had parents like this, and he couldn't listen to music or the radio, watch TV, go to movies, play video games, or have too much fun doing anything else. Whatever we did for fun, there was always the risk that his parents would seize on it as potentially demonic, have a talk with him and then tell him that God didn't want him to play cops and robbers or tag or whatever.

What you need to understand about this phenomenon is that it's not one of those crazy cults where the women wear identical ankle-length dresses. Nor is it a particularly rare strain of extremism. It's actually a widespread belief among ordinary suburbanites; your neighbors may be like this, and you many never know until your kid gets a complex from playing with their kid.
 
2012-06-04 10:58:26 AM
That's nuthin.

Polly wanna reach-around?. NSFW audio
 
2012-06-04 10:58:32 AM

Dare to keep slugs off kids: Mugato: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Is it 1977 already?

KISS = Knights In the Service of Satan


or AC/DC=After Christ devil comes! LOL


Hmm. Is C giving the D a reach around?
 
2012-06-04 10:58:45 AM
I'd say Cristian music sounds equally demonic and repetitive.
 
2012-06-04 10:59:44 AM
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2012-06-04 11:02:40 AM

Leeds: Are they doubling down in the hopes of scoring 144 virgins?


What the bombers don't know is that their afterlife virgins are all big, hairy guys. With enormous wangs.
 
2012-06-04 11:04:20 AM
"We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

We need to get a recording of the interview so we can sample it over some hard-core hip-hop.
 
2012-06-04 11:07:41 AM

Pert: We need to get a recording of the interview so we can sample it over some hard-core hip-hop.


That would be awesome.

support the beat,
support the beat,

support that d-d-d-d-d-demonic sound and the repetition!
 
2012-06-04 11:10:52 AM

Deathfrogg: Religion is a disease. I swear, its gotta be something like a Virus. Or a Prion like Jacob-Crutzfeld that does this to people. It's happened to a couple of my old friends. Its like they wake up one morning, and actively decide to turn into the absolute worst, most mealymouthed pedantic bible-thumping cheesedicks you can imagine. One walked away from a marriage, two teenage kids and a really decent job to move into some Baptist mission thing in northern California. His wife said it was literally overnight that he went from being a normal guy to a religious fanatic.


Had that happen to good friends of the family when I was a kid. We met when their cat bit me, and since we were two families of divorced moms with kids, we became best friends and we kids called each other's mom's "Auntie". It was a wonderful, mutual support system over the years. They ended up moving in with us when they needed to find a new apartment. Auntie took care of me when my mom was in the hospital or went on vacation, stuff like that.

Then the oldest daughter, who had spina bifida, got involved in this weird "Church of the Open Door" and overnight became a raving Jesus loon. Then her younger sister joined and broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years because he wasn't "godly" and took up with a deacon of the church. Then their mom joined and she became just as "Jesus saves" and "God Bless" as her daughters. It was amazing and sad.

My mom was Catholic and I was (and still am) an atheist, so we were immunized against the virus, but suffice to say, once my Auntie and her daughters started telling my mom she wasn't actually a Christian and would be going to hell unless she got born again, the friendship of many years just drifted away.

It was almost like they'd become zombies or something.
 
2012-06-04 11:16:33 AM

Generation_D: Now that backbeat syncopated tribal stuff, now, you better just knock that stuff off right now. Leads to sin, and sin leads to hell.


Heh, have you heard the stuff on the radio lately? It's pretty much all backbeat and Autotune. Syncopation went out when people couldn't figure out how to spell it.

/I don't want to live on this planet any more.
//But I do want to throw together an Autotuned house version of "Onward Christian Soldiers" for the lulz.
 
2012-06-04 11:17:50 AM

Leeds: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?


Because they have to prove to themselves and others what "good Christians" they are. They feel the need to go real overboard to convince everyone, themselves most of all, that they really are changed. They don't have true faith so they feel the need to be super in your face about it to fake it.
 
2012-06-04 11:20:29 AM
I think Christian music has gotten much better over the past few years.
I'm just glad people don't think Creed is a Christian band any more.

The guy in the article is a doofus - I used to follow the Grateful Dead all around the country. After I was born again, I still listen to their music. I do miss farking the hippie chicks though - but not the long under arm hair.
 
2012-06-04 11:21:28 AM

silvervial:
It was almost like they'd become zombies or something.


They are zombies. Zombies for Jayzuss, HALLELUJAH prayze the LORD and open your wallets.

It occurres to me that the coming zombie apocalypse has probably already happened. It's just so common already that nobody is noticing it, and certainly the Zombies aren't going to let you know except to recruit you. And they're becoming more brazen by calling themselves the TeaParty.

Line up citizen, your salvation is at hand. Don't forget your voter ID.
 
2012-06-04 11:24:49 AM

ModernLuddite: [farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x334]


Link
 
2012-06-04 11:26:38 AM
"Christian Rock" isn't making rock'n'roll any better -- it's making Jesus worse.
 
2012-06-04 11:42:31 AM
So does Jesus hate the whipping of hair or is his problem with autotune?
 
2012-06-04 11:49:44 AM

Dare to keep slugs off kids: Mugato: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Is it 1977 already?

KISS = Knights In the Service of Satan


or AC/DC=After Christ devil comes! LOL


I thought it was Against Christ Devil's Children?
 
2012-06-04 11:57:32 AM

AbbeySomeone: FTFA: "I used to love rock and then Jesus came into my heart and took it completely away".

Religion, is there anything it can't do?

/please pray for the bird.


I think dad is quietly begging for liberation. 2 years in, cracks are developing.
 
2012-06-04 12:01:48 PM
A Christian rock group from the 80's called NLM (No Longer Music) had a song with the lyrics "God's love is like an AK-47."

Thinking of what an AK-47 has accomplished in this world....Yeah, much more appropriate for that damn bird to dance to!
 
2012-06-04 12:18:48 PM

FlacidDonkey: A Christian rock group from the 80's called NLM (No Longer Music) had a song with the lyrics "God's love is like an AK-47."

Thinking of what an AK-47 has accomplished in this world....Yeah, much more appropriate for that damn bird to dance to!


And meaningful. Count up how many god has killed, vs. Satan.

God wins!!!!

He didn't even need malaria and the plague, he was always waaaayyyyyy ahead.
 
2012-06-04 12:33:19 PM

Inflatable Rhetoric: FlacidDonkey: A Christian rock group from the 80's called NLM (No Longer Music) had a song with the lyrics "God's love is like an AK-47."

Thinking of what an AK-47 has accomplished in this world....Yeah, much more appropriate for that damn bird to dance to!

And meaningful. Count up how many god has killed, vs. Satan.

God wins!!!!

He didn't even need malaria and the plague, he was always waaaayyyyyy ahead.


Doesn't everyone die?
 
2012-06-04 12:38:22 PM

lohphat: That's nuthin.

Polly wanna reach-around?. NSFW audio


I'm dying here. Warning on the funniest thing on the internets!!

Not sure if I'm turned on.....
 
2012-06-04 12:38:29 PM

Marcus Aurelius: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

So I guess "Onward Christian Soldiers" is also out of the question. That's got a pretty good back beat. And as far as repetition goes, "God in Three Persons" is right up there.


What about Spirit in the Sky?
 
2012-06-04 12:45:34 PM

thatboyoverthere: Marcus Aurelius: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

So I guess "Onward Christian Soldiers" is also out of the question. That's got a pretty good back beat. And as far as repetition goes, "God in Three Persons" is right up there.

What about Spirit in the Sky?


It's where you're gonna go, when you die
 
2012-06-04 12:47:54 PM

flypusher713: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

No beat? No repetition? YOUR music must really SUCK.

/amateur musician
//definitely getting a ROTFLMAO out of this
///does playing syncopated rhythms mean I'm damned????


When you get a chance, try listening to 'Praise' music for more than 5 minutes without falling asleep.
 
2012-06-04 12:57:56 PM

Leeds: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?


Because they have presumably given up everything in their past to embrace their newfound Jesus power. They stick to it rabidly because it would be too much of a blow to undergo another ego death if they ever allowed themselves to be convinced that they are raving loonatics.
 
2012-06-04 01:00:33 PM

blatz514: I thought it was Against Christ Devil's Children?


I guess that was dependent on which denomination mom was brainwashed by.
 
2012-06-04 01:18:09 PM

germ78: When you get a chance, try listening to 'Praise' music for more than 5 minutes without falling asleep.


When I was a kid, one of the parents who drove us to french horn practice was of the religious variety and listened to a Christian radio station. A lot of the time that stuff was happy-happy-joy-joy and strummy crooning, but sometimes it got really freaky and messed up.

I remember hearing one "song" that was about Jesus and the Devil having a boxing match, in front of a demon audience. They simulated the demon chatter by running human voices through chipmunk-ish effects and having synth noises in the background. When Jesus went down for the count, the demons started chanting to a buzzy sort of climax and then everyone started wailing when he got up, ending the song.

I was astounded that anyone could listen to that sort of thing and call regular music "demonic." You had to be five kinds of messed up to compose anything like that.
 
2012-06-04 01:26:09 PM

Xcott: It's actually a widespread belief among ordinary suburbanites; your neighbors may be like this, and you many never know until your kid gets a complex from playing with their kid.


I don't think that would be a complex, more like a simplex.

FTA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said.

Really? waaaayyyy back then? Quite the religious tradition you have goin' there.
 
2012-06-04 01:41:45 PM
First time I heard someone mention the title of that song, I though she said Teach Me To Doggie.

I was really confused when she said she doggied all night.
 
2012-06-04 01:48:00 PM

Leeds: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?


Because they see in others, the same things they hate about themselves.
 
2012-06-04 01:52:12 PM
Losers.
 
2012-06-04 01:58:42 PM

marleymaniac: For fark's sake, it's Willow god-damn Smith. Another no talent, ass clown crotch fruit of that black guy who played Corky. I'd shun my kids too if they listened to that crap.


Yeah, but he gave up listening to Led Zeppelin. fark him.
 
2012-06-04 02:27:57 PM

Leeds: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?


Many of them are replacing one addiction with another. Since they don't have any long term foundation to build on and temper the fervor they go nuts. The good thing is God is a real rat bastard when he needs to be. That whole bit about not judging people, yeah. Born Again Christians fail spectacularly.

I celebrate their judgementalism with a hearty drink and grin knowing that their level of hell also includes people who talk on the phone during movies.
 
2012-06-04 02:28:00 PM
Pardon the caps but...

I WUV DA WITTLE BIRDIE!!
 
2012-06-04 02:28:51 PM

Mugato: They sound like they could use a cockatoo, if you know what I mean.


Yes, I believe you are referring to a sub-species of parrot.
 
2012-06-04 02:33:25 PM
A conservative fundamentalist religion, is there anything it can't hate?

/pretty sure Fundies are an arm of Satan by now, considering all the evil the pray unto those that don't share their beliefs.
 
2012-06-04 02:38:24 PM

StrangeQ: Leeds: FTFA: "We came to Christ, me and my wife did, back in 2010," Gary Richie said. "We don't support the beat. We don't support that demonic sound and the repetition."

Why are reborn Christfags such Douchbags?

Because they have presumably given up everything in their past to embrace their newfound Jesus power. They stick to it rabidly because it would be too much of a blow to undergo another ego death if they ever allowed themselves to be convinced that they are raving loonatics.


That makes complete sense.
 
2012-06-04 02:48:09 PM
Honestly, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn at the pearly gates that all this "no sex, no drugs, no music" religion was a plot by the devil to preoccupy people with nonsense and keep them from going out and feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and visiting the imprisoned.
 
2012-06-04 02:51:38 PM
I'm pretty sure that when a bird bobs its head around, it is a bad sign of some mental/neglect problems
 
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