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(Scotsman)   "Slave master" husband, who severly beat wife over DS/SM marriage pact, quits as local charity director. (W/ creepy pic of what slave master husbands look like)   (scotsman.com) divider line 86
    More: Strange, treaty, slavery  
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18743 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2012 at 9:50 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-04 08:45:01 AM
He admitted assaulting his wife, threatening her with violence, inducing her to remove her clothes, slapping her on the face and body, striking her on the body with a belt, seizing her by the hair, pushing her on to a couch and slapping her.

Mrs Western went to police after suffering three beatings on the same day at their flat in Murrayburn Place, leaving her needing hospital treatment.


Judge: "Mr. Western, was the sammich made incorrectly?"

Defendent: "No, your honor. The sammich was not made at all."
 
2012-06-04 08:45:52 AM
Shenanigans.
That is clearly not a gorgeous 20-something year old billionaire.
 
2012-06-04 08:49:22 AM
The safe word is not 'ow.'
 
2012-06-04 08:55:21 AM
I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.
 
2012-06-04 08:56:41 AM

Pocket Ninja: I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.


She can't divorce you if she's tied up in the basement, secured in submissive sexual positions.
 
2012-06-04 08:59:49 AM
When LARPing goes terribly wrong....
 
2012-06-04 09:10:04 AM

Pocket Ninja: I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.


Though not much better, it's arguably preferable to having a child to save the marriage.
 
2012-06-04 09:25:53 AM

HakunaMatata: Shenanigans.
That is clearly not a gorgeous 20-something year old billionaire.




red

red

RED

RED
 
2012-06-04 09:26:39 AM
Wow. And here I thought John Norman's Gor novels were just poorly written misogynistic sci-fi.
 
2012-06-04 09:52:30 AM
www.scotsman.com
The "Slave Master" Husband in question.

I think he's got a surprise for us in his pocket...
 
2012-06-04 09:53:39 AM
Well he's not in Florida and he's not black so he is probably going to be ok.
 
2012-06-04 09:53:44 AM
cdn.sheknows.com

My first thought
 
2012-06-04 09:54:03 AM

HakunaMatata: Shenanigans.
That is clearly not a gorgeous 20-something year old billionaire.


He looks like a down on his luck teacher's assistant.

#50 Shades of Tweed and Corduroy
 
2012-06-04 09:54:44 AM
In other news, 50% of male farkers look like creepy slave master husbands.
 
2012-06-04 09:54:47 AM
Funny, you wouldn't think he'd be the one with the surprised butt secks look on his face.
 
2012-06-04 09:56:03 AM
Women be desperate...

She signed a slave/beating contract with that guy to save the marriage?... that guy...
 
2012-06-04 09:57:13 AM
Hoot mon, it's Trayvon MacTavish.

Justice for Trayvon! Justice for Trayvon!
 
2012-06-04 09:57:36 AM
www.scotsman.com

Boss man in 2002 - no idea what the context of the picture is but creeeeeepy!
 
2012-06-04 09:58:15 AM
"Bet he's going to be a weasily little shiat who probably got beat up in highschool a lot."

*clicks link*

Yep.
 
2012-06-04 09:58:17 AM
threatening her with violence, inducing her to remove her clothes, slapping her on the face and body, striking her on the body with a belt, seizing her by the hair, pushing her on to a couch and slapping her

I'd better lawyer up.
 
2012-06-04 09:59:08 AM

Pocket Ninja: I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.


Depends on what's making it be "on the rocks". Trust issues? Oh hell no. Boredom? Sure, why not?

That said, there's gotta be more to the story than this.
 
2012-06-04 09:59:44 AM
If the wife says "hey, I would like to try...", then at least get a signed consent agreement.

I used to do the D/s thing, and for some, the things they want done is only the "I consent to..." away from prosecution. Fantasy rape is a big thing I've said no to/dumped a woman for wanting.
 
2012-06-04 10:00:40 AM
It's all fun and games until someone calls the constables.
 
2012-06-04 10:00:55 AM

Wendy's Chili: threatening her with violence, inducing her to remove her clothes, slapping her on the face and body, striking her on the body with a belt, seizing her by the hair, pushing her on to a couch and slapping her

I'd better lawyer up.


Look, I told you I wouldn't press charges if you wouldn't.

///They take the stitches out yet?
 
2012-06-04 10:02:16 AM

Cythraul: The safe word is not 'ow.'


Came here to say some variation on this.
 
2012-06-04 10:02:29 AM
I'm sure this story is not nearly as black and white as presented. From what I've read, these types of arrangements have many shades of gray.
 
2012-06-04 10:02:40 AM
Reminds me of Brian Posehn.

tinyurl.com
 
2012-06-04 10:04:35 AM
Slave Master when he worked for a paper supplier.


i50.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-04 10:07:40 AM

Kaka: [cdn.sheknows.com image 340x271]

My first thought


Mine as well. Glad to see you got it covered.

/this coffee isn't going to drink itself
 
2012-06-04 10:08:07 AM

Expolaris: The "Slave Master" Husband in question.

I think he's got a surprise for us in his pocket...


Surprise photography.
 
2012-06-04 10:08:50 AM

imprimere: It's all fun and games until someone calls the constables.


... they bringing those big sticks right?

///Sounds like that when the fun really begins :P
 
2012-06-04 10:09:51 AM
Yep, he looked exactly like I pictured he would look.
 
2012-06-04 10:10:07 AM
I wonder how many years in prison he faces. I hope it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot
 
2012-06-04 10:10:30 AM

Kaka: [www.scotsman.com image 595x420]

Boss man in 2002 - no idea what the context of the picture is but creeeeeepy!


He was suing the post office for £90,000. This was an interview.
 
2012-06-04 10:12:28 AM

Pocket Ninja: I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.


*nods agreement*

Master/slave relationships require trust and willingness, not fear and reprisals. Masters who act out of anger aren't in control, and therefor are terrible masters. Seems to me this particular nutmunch was just looking for an excuse to vent some anger rather than explore a new relationship dynamic. Sadomasochism isn't something you just decide to try out one day 'cause your sex life is a bit predictable. Try the beginner level floggings, first! Fists aren't for faces anyway, wink wink nudge nudge saynomore.

It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name. I have half a mind to get this woman-beating piece of sh*t on an A frame for a few days of re-education.
 
2012-06-04 10:18:05 AM

Aracnix: It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name.


'Boy George'.
 
2012-06-04 10:18:24 AM

Wendy's Chili: threatening her with violence, inducing her to remove her clothes, slapping her on the face and body, striking her on the body with a belt, seizing her by the hair, pushing her on to a couch and slapping her

I'd better lawyer up.


I know, right? I've done all of the above in the past week, most of them several times.

Aracnix: Pocket Ninja: I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.

*nods agreement*

Master/slave relationships require trust and willingness, not fear and reprisals. Masters who act out of anger aren't in control, and therefor are terrible masters. Seems to me this particular nutmunch was just looking for an excuse to vent some anger rather than explore a new relationship dynamic. Sadomasochism isn't something you just decide to try out one day 'cause your sex life is a bit predictable. Try the beginner level floggings, first! Fists aren't for faces anyway, wink wink nudge nudge saynomore.

It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name. I have half a mind to get this woman-beating piece of sh*t on an A frame for a few days of re-education.


Exactly. Of course, if they weren't kinky before the "contract" was signed it was the worst thing they could do. If they were kinky, he should've known better than to send her to the hospital. This tool sounds like the worst kind of "Master Domly Dom" that there is, the type that the kink community generally considers dangerous.
 
2012-06-04 10:20:26 AM

braedan: Reminds me of Brian Posehn.

[tinyurl.com image 640x512]


LLOLOLOL

Perfect pic too - "Honey? Unlock the door honey. It won't happen again..."
 
2012-06-04 10:21:34 AM

Delay: Kaka: [www.scotsman.com image 595x420]

Boss man in 2002 - no idea what the context of the picture is but creeeeeepy!

He was suing the post office for £90,000. This was an interview.


He looks like he is dumpster diving
 
2012-06-04 10:21:39 AM

SkunkWerks: Aracnix: It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name.

'Boy George'.


That wasn't S&M, that was someone screwing with someone that f*cked them.
 
2012-06-04 10:21:49 AM
This is an example of problems I have with certain elements of BDSM "lifestyle" types of play, namely; when the Dom/Master/etc. uses it as an outlet for his own baggage and otherwise isn't in control enough of his own emotions to understand the depths of the harm he can cause, both physical and emotional. Once you stop having a relationship of equals that allows for open communication, you are stepping into territory that carries heavy burdens for the person on the Top because he/she needs to be aware enough and understanding enough to know WHEN to employ the, "You've been a bad little thing and deserve to be punished" attitude, and when to treat their submissive/slave with love and compassion. It's a tough thing to do do well... and it is NOT a fix for an already troubled relationship. The troubles are multiplied when the issue is a desire for a BDSM relationship from one of the partners and that lack of communication hasn't been discussed for a long time. Trust me when I say that not talking about it doesn't help.

Maybe some people can "throw the switch" in their heads and be cruel in one moment and then kind in the next... I am not one of them. Speaking only for myself, relationships have a particular (but always shifting) tone that is important. How we approach the relationship mentally and emotionally goes a long way to determine this tone. If yours is too radically out of pitch with your partners' tone, you will get very discordant sounds... in other words, the relationship will cause a lot of suffering in both people. This is why open, direct and honest communication is VITAL... you have to trust your partner to tell you the truth, and you have to tell the truth as well. If, after 15 years (for example from the article) of doing things one way, you attempt to radically shift tones, you are inviting ruin. Experimenting and working towards a commonly desired goal is one thing, telling lies about yourself (and to yourself, even) for years on end and then expecting your partner to be okay with the "new you" in a flash is just plain foolish. You aren't going to get what you want, no matter how much you want it.

My advice for anyone stuck in the cycle of deception is to let it come out, and then give your partner as many months as the relationship has been together for years. I.E. if you've been together for six years, expect six months of "adjustment" at least. Also, accept that the cost of your deception might very well be the loss of your relationship, no matter how old or young the relationship is. When we lie to ourselves by saying things like, "I'll get over it" or "It's just a phase" we end up lying to the people around us. Those lies rot away the very heart of a good relationship and that takes time to heal, if it can be healed at all. If you cannot give the person you love some months to adjust to these new ideas, then you need to examine how badly you actually want that relationship.

TL;DR, TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT THE SCARY STUFF! Do not keep secrets. Do not expect your partner to be totally okay with whatever your desires might be! Do not hold the relationship hostage and demand they do what you want, or else! Be a genuine human being first, and whatever else you want to be after that.

/Now, go out and have a kinky day!
 
2012-06-04 10:21:54 AM
50 Shades of Grey anyone..........???????????4

///haven't read the book
//plan on reading the book
//to see what all the fuss is about
//yep, sure, that's it!
 
2012-06-04 10:23:40 AM

Exception Collection: SkunkWerks: Aracnix: It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name.

'Boy George'.

That wasn't S&M, that was Karma Chameleon.


FIFTY.
 
2012-06-04 10:27:22 AM
 
2012-06-04 10:28:22 AM
It took three beatings for her to realize this wasn't working out?
 
2012-06-04 10:29:43 AM

thenewmissus: 50 Shades of Grey anyone..........???????????4

///haven't read the book
//plan on reading the book
//to see what all the fuss is about
//yep, sure, that's it!


I haven't read the book. But I've been told by those that have - kinky and non - that the writing's terrible. The kinky ones are also fairly offended by the way the relationship works; it's *not* a good D/s relationship. No discussion of limits, for example. Most of my friends consider the relationship described in the book to be little better than rape.
 
2012-06-04 10:30:26 AM

thenewmissus: 50 Shades of Grey anyone..........???????????4

///haven't read the book
//plan on reading the book
//to see what all the fuss is about
//yep, sure, that's it!


I can't wait till the movie/musical.
 
2012-06-04 10:30:41 AM

trappedspirit: It took three beatings for her to realize this wasn't working out?


Three beatings *in one day*. With a belt. And since she went to the hospital, I'd guess that they were fairly severe beatings.
 
2012-06-04 10:31:36 AM

Aracnix: It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name. I have half a mind to get this woman-beating piece of sh*t on an A frame for a few days of re-education.


See also: It's countries like China and North Korea and the USSR that give communism a bad name.

When your relationship requires trust and willingness exclusively on the part of one person, that's called an unstable dynamic. It's all well and good to say that S&M is all right as long as everyone trusts everyone else and no one does anything bad, but I think we can all agree that's not very realistic for anything longer than a few hours.
 
2012-06-04 10:31:53 AM
Does this mean I shouldn't have a girl tied up in my basement while I am at work?

(I don't actually have a basement.)
 
2012-06-04 10:33:13 AM

Cythraul: The safe word is not 'ow.'


t0.gstatic.com

/oblig
 
2012-06-04 10:33:50 AM

Exception Collection: Most of my friends consider the relationship described in the book to be little better than rape.


To be fair, rape (using the modern definition of it- right wrong, or indifferent) is glorified with some frequency in romance novels.
 
2012-06-04 10:35:36 AM
Thank you, sir! May I have another?
 
2012-06-04 10:36:59 AM

Kit Fister: If the wife says "hey, I would like to try...", then at least get a signed consent agreement.

I used to do the D/s thing, and for some, the things they want done is only the "I consent to..." away from prosecution. Fantasy rape is a big thing I've said no to/dumped a woman for wanting.


Everything sexual you do is one "I consent to..." away from prosecution. We live in a society where eight year olds get suspended for kissing people without their consent.
 
2012-06-04 10:46:47 AM

Kit Fister: If the wife says "hey, I would like to try...", then at least get a signed consent agreement.

I used to do the D/s thing, and for some, the things they want done is only the "I consent to..." away from prosecution. Fantasy rape is a big thing I've said no to/dumped a woman for wanting.


Somebody with sense. Nobody should ask anyone to do anything to them that would get the other person prosecuted. So why do people ask for it?

As for this couple, if she went into it willingly, he should be free and clear. I think it's wrong to ask somebody to beat you then play the victim card. As for resigning as charity director, that falls under the same thing as all those females who strip or do porn or have babies, then biatch about why they got fired from their religious job. If the charity had a certain image to uphold, and he signed a contract himself to uphold that image, then he's SOL

Frankly, if it was consensual, I think he should not have resigned.
 
2012-06-04 10:47:22 AM

The Jami Turman Fan Club: We live in a society where eight year olds get suspended for kissing people without their consent.


media1.break.com
 
2012-06-04 10:48:24 AM

BronyMedic: Wow. And here I thought John Norman's Gor novels were just poorly written misogynistic sci-fi.


I came here to make a Gor reference [shakes tiny fist]. Sadly, I was aware that some... what's a nice way to put this?... fark it... freaks exist who attempt to maintain Gorean relationships.
 
2012-06-04 10:49:12 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: So why do people ask for it?


No idea...
 
2012-06-04 10:49:13 AM

Exception Collection: trappedspirit: It took three beatings for her to realize this wasn't working out?

Three beatings *in one day*. With a belt. And since she went to the hospital, I'd guess that they were fairly severe beatings.


Some folks mutilate themselves for fun and thrills. Cutting, dismemberment, all that jazz. If she wanted a beatdown in order to get off, or to get her husband off, then .............. like some folks said in some of the other bondage in the news threads, the line is thin between consensual bruising and nonconsensual bruising.

Either beatdowns should be treated as nobody's business but the participants, or all BDSM play should be banned.
 
2012-06-04 10:50:04 AM
who severly beat wife

This is how people loss limbs. Or loose limbs...or something.
 
2012-06-04 10:50:41 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: the line is thin between consensual bruising and nonconsensual bruising.


Safe Word.

ExperianScaresCthulhu: ...or all BDSM play should be banned.


Safe Word.
 
2012-06-04 10:56:50 AM

SkunkWerks: ExperianScaresCthulhu: the line is thin between consensual bruising and nonconsensual bruising.

Safe Word.

ExperianScaresCthulhu: ...or all BDSM play should be banned.

Safe Word.


If you're passed out, there is no safeword.

if you get off on having your fingers cut off, or your hair yanked out, or your taint slit and your balls slipped out, should the person who does it to you be prosecuted just because you end up in the hospital afterwards?
 
2012-06-04 10:57:06 AM
I really was hoping for a Spentmiles post by now.
 
2012-06-04 11:02:04 AM
www.scotsman.com

topdrawertees.com

www.popcultureattack.com
 
2012-06-04 11:03:35 AM

Pocket Ninja: I may be completely crazy here, but it would seem like exploring sado-masochistic fantasies and adding a "slave/master" dynamic to your marriage is something you would do as a way of branching out in an already stable, enduring, healthy relationship. Not to save a 15-year marriage that's on the rocks.


B-I-N-GO B-I-N-GO Bi-ngo was it's name-o

Look peoples, fantasy is all well and good, but if you are signing a for reals "slave contract" or anything else like it, you aren't having a bit of sex fun with the missus, you are in fact a looney that's completely gone round the bend. Simple as that. And legally if there is no safeword, it's not foreplay, it's assault.

I've found myself in the postion of being advisor/mentor to a fair number of women who are exploring this side of their pysche, and my advice to them is invariable. If you start flirting with a top and he sends you a "list or rules", or a ten page quiz on your likes and dislikes, or any form of "contract" or demand to be addressed only as "master" or "sir" even in casual conversation? Run, don't walk away from the guy. Those are red flags that he either A) has never actually done this in real life and is lying about his experience or B) is self-absorbed and doesn't give a damn about what YOU want, just that he gets his rocks off

The only one of my "charges" who ignored this advice ended up with bruises that lasted six months because the asshole she played with "forgot" that she was deaf and a lip reader and so he needed to face her when asking questions, and that she used a non-verbal "safeword" because she couldn't speak well.

she refused to ever give me his real name or address, and I suspect that's a good thing as its kept me out of jail
 
2012-06-04 11:06:08 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: If you're passed out, there is no safeword.


If you've let it get that far, you're an idiot, either the Master or the "Slave".

ExperianScaresCthulhu: if you get off on having your fingers cut off, or your hair yanked out, or your taint slit and your balls slipped out, should the person who does it to you be prosecuted just because you end up in the hospital afterwards?


I choose C): You should both be prosecuted.
 
2012-06-04 11:07:39 AM

blazemongr: Aracnix: It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name. I have half a mind to get this woman-beating piece of sh*t on an A frame for a few days of re-education.

See also: It's countries like China and North Korea and the USSR that give communism a bad name.

When your relationship requires trust and willingness exclusively on the part of one person, that's called an unstable dynamic. It's all well and good to say that S&M is all right as long as everyone trusts everyone else and no one does anything bad, but I think we can all agree that's not very realistic for anything longer than a few hours.


Uh...trust doesn't even exist without more than one person. We don't agree about your idea of realism. S&M can be a very good thing for those involved, and such relationships can last for years. Even more than in your usual vanilla relationships, master/slave pairings absolutely require trust and vulnerability on both sides. The master trusts that the slave will obey his/her decisions, while the slave trusts that the master will make good decisions for the benefit of both. Some people need the control in order to be right in their minds; some people need to give up control entirely. Your analogy is flawed on a very basic premise: mastery and slavery in this sense is an agreement of choice and respect involving the exploration of mutual pain/pleasure both physical and mental. It is not the oppression and murder of masses of impoverished people in order to acquire military and economic dominance in post-Imperial global politics. So... no, S&M is not communism, but thanks for playing!
 
2012-06-04 11:19:57 AM

SkunkWerks: ExperianScaresCthulhu: So why do people ask for it?

No idea...


That's a long list. But, they wanted it. Nobody's fault. They died while trying to get an orgasm, isn't that supposed to be living the dream?
 
2012-06-04 11:23:39 AM

Aracnix: S&M can be a very good thing for those involved, and such relationships can last for years. Even more than in your usual vanilla relationships, master/slave pairings absolutely require trust and vulnerability on both sides. The master trusts that the slave will obey his/her decisions, while the slave trusts that the master will make good decisions for the benefit of both. Some people need the control in order to be right in their minds; some people need to give up control entirely. Your analogy is flawed on a very basic premise: mastery and slavery in this sense is an agreement of choice and respect involving the exploration of mutual pain/pleasure both physical and mental. It is not the oppression and murder of masses of impoverished people in order to acquire military and economic dominance in post-Imperial global politics. So... no, S&M is not communism, but thanks for playing!


I've been watching too much The Good Wife. I read that in this guy's voice:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-04 11:26:35 AM

BronyMedic: Wow. And here I thought John Norman's Gor novels were just poorly written misogynistic sci-fi.


Aren't Goreans looked down upon by a good chunk of the kinky/"not necessarily LBGT alternative lifestyle" type people? I'd hate to be the guy that even the furries think is messed up.
 
2012-06-04 11:28:20 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: SkunkWerks: ExperianScaresCthulhu: So why do people ask for it?

No idea...

That's a long list. But, they wanted it. Nobody's fault. They died while trying to get an orgasm, isn't that supposed to be living the dream?


Except for the "living" part, possibly.
 
2012-06-04 11:33:46 AM

Aracnix: blazemongr: Aracnix: It's guys like this that give S&M a bad name. I have half a mind to get this woman-beating piece of sh*t on an A frame for a few days of re-education.

See also: It's countries like China and North Korea and the USSR that give communism a bad name.

When your relationship requires trust and willingness exclusively on the part of one person, that's called an unstable dynamic. It's all well and good to say that S&M is all right as long as everyone trusts everyone else and no one does anything bad, but I think we can all agree that's not very realistic for anything longer than a few hours.

Uh...trust doesn't even exist without more than one person. We don't agree about your idea of realism. S&M can be a very good thing for those involved, and such relationships can last for years. Even more than in your usual vanilla relationships, master/slave pairings absolutely require trust and vulnerability on both sides. The master trusts that the slave will obey his/her decisions, while the slave trusts that the master will make good decisions for the benefit of both. Some people need the control in order to be right in their minds; some people need to give up control entirely. Your analogy is flawed on a very basic premise: mastery and slavery in this sense is an agreement of choice and respect involving the exploration of mutual pain/pleasure both physical and mental. It is not the oppression and murder of masses of impoverished people in order to acquire military and economic dominance in post-Imperial global politics. So... no, S&M is not communism, but thanks for playing!


People attempting to politicize a conversation on kink is a new low even for Fark. Good on you for not flaming.
 
2012-06-04 11:34:07 AM

Crotchrocket Slim: BronyMedic: Wow. And here I thought John Norman's Gor novels were just poorly written misogynistic sci-fi.

Aren't Goreans looked down upon by a good chunk of the kinky/"not necessarily LBGT alternative lifestyle" type people? I'd hate to be the guy that even the furries think is messed up.


I met John Norman at a sci-fi con once, he showed up unexpectedly and of course the Con Committe was delighted to have another "name" at the con, but they were worried about his safety because there were a lot of MZB "Darkover" fans at this particular con. So as the affable but lage guy on security, I got assigned to shadow him and keep problems from happening.

Ironically he turned out to be a small tweedy little guy who was completely P-whipped by his much younger wife, and he was horrifed when I told him that there were "practicing goreans" in the world. He couldn't imagine anyone would actually try to LIVE that way.

And yes Goreans are generally acknowledged to be the short-bus riders of the entire "alternative" community, even Furries roll their eyes at them
 
2012-06-04 11:34:43 AM

LewDux: I wonder how many years in prison he faces. I hope it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot


Awesome! I chortled.
 
2012-06-04 11:39:37 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Either beatdowns should be treated as nobody's business but the participants, or all BDSM play should be banned.


And there is your problem. Right and wrong are not nearly as binary as you want to make them out to be. Trying to apply discrete choices to behavior that exists in a continuum is a fool's game.
 
2012-06-04 11:44:35 AM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Some folks mutilate themselves for fun and thrills. Cutting, dismemberment, all that jazz. If she wanted a beatdown in order to get off, or to get her husband off, then .............. like some folks said in some of the other bondage in the news threads, the line is thin between consensual bruising and nonconsensual bruising.

Either beatdowns should be treated as nobody's business but the participants, or all BDSM play should be banned.


I suspect I'm one of the kinkier people on here. I can understand sending someone to the hospital every once in a while; hell, I read an account of a heavy scene during which he suffered a permanently disabling injury, and the situation was understandable. But any time you get into new play - extreme or not - you need to study it. That's a shared responsibility between both people involved.

Magorn: B-I-N-GO B-I-N-GO Bi-ngo was it's name-o

Look peoples, fantasy is all well and good, but if you are signing a for reals "slave contract" or anything else like it, you aren't having a bit of sex fun with the missus, you are in fact a looney that's completely gone round the bend. Simple as that. And legally if there is no safeword, it's not foreplay, it's assault.

I've found myself in the postion of being advisor/mentor to a fair number of women who are exploring this side of their pysche, and my advice to them is invariable. If you start flirting with a top and he sends you a "list or rules", or a ten page quiz on your likes and dislikes, or any form of "contract" or demand to be addressed only as "master" or "sir" even in casual conversation? Run, don't walk away from the guy. Those are red flags that he either A) has never actually done this in real life and is lying about his experience or B) is self-absorbed and doesn't give a damn about what YOU want, just that he gets his rocks off

The only one of my "charges" who ignored this advice ended up with bruises that lasted six months because the asshole she played with "forgot" that she was deaf and a lip reader and so he needed to face her when asking questions, and that she used a non-verbal "safeword" because she couldn't speak well.

she refused to ever give me his real name or address, and I suspect that's a good thing as its kept me out of jail


I disagree. I know a fair number of people in exactly that type of relationship - hell, if I cared to spend the time needed to enforce those kinds of rules I'd have one myself - and while they are a small selection of the ones that try such relationships, they can have strong relationships.

Crotchrocket Slim: Aren't Goreans looked down upon by a good chunk of the kinky/"not necessarily LBGT alternative lifestyle" type people? I'd hate to be the guy that even the furries think is messed up.


Pretty much, yeah.
 
2012-06-04 11:45:56 AM

Magorn: I met John Norman at a sci-fi con once, he showed up unexpectedly and of course the Con Committe was delighted to have another "name" at the con, but they were worried about his safety because there were a lot of MZB "Darkover" fans at this particular con. So as the affable but lage guy on security, I got assigned to shadow him and keep problems from happening.

Ironically he turned out to be a small tweedy little guy who was completely P-whipped by his much younger wife, and he was horrifed when I told him that there were "practicing goreans" in the world. He couldn't imagine anyone would actually try to LIVE that way.


Somehow this doesn't surprise me a bit.
 
2012-06-04 11:54:36 AM

Exception Collection: Magorn: I met John Norman at a sci-fi con once, he showed up unexpectedly and of course the Con Committe was delighted to have another "name" at the con, but they were worried about his safety because there were a lot of MZB "Darkover" fans at this particular con. So as the affable but lage guy on security, I got assigned to shadow him and keep problems from happening.

Ironically he turned out to be a small tweedy little guy who was completely P-whipped by his much younger wife, and he was horrifed when I told him that there were "practicing goreans" in the world. He couldn't imagine anyone would actually try to LIVE that way.

Somehow this doesn't surprise me a bit.


I'd think there was something wrong with the world if Norman was described to be an actual alpha male type etc. I'm glad he never intended for his stories to be taken as a guide to better sexing though :D
 
2012-06-04 11:58:10 AM

Exception Collection: thenewmissus: 50 Shades of Grey anyone..........???????????4

///haven't read the book
//plan on reading the book
//to see what all the fuss is about
//yep, sure, that's it!

I haven't read the book. But I've been told by those that have - kinky and non - that the writing's terrible. The kinky ones are also fairly offended by the way the relationship works; it's *not* a good D/s relationship. No discussion of limits, for example. Most of my friends consider the relationship described in the book to be little better than rape.


I did read all three books (they were indeed terrible, but once I started the first one I needed to finish the whole damned set). To be fair, they did discuss limits. Unfortunately he dismisses her hard limits as something they will build up to anyway so she'd better get used to it.
 
2012-06-04 12:03:39 PM

SundaesChild: I did read all three books (they were indeed terrible, but once I started the first one I needed to finish the whole damned set). To be fair, they did discuss limits. Unfortunately he dismisses her hard limits as something they will build up to anyway so she'd better get used to it.


Ah. That's creepy. On the other hand, sometimes a sub claims "no limits!".... and when they get called on it, say "OK, not doing that again..." and back off the "no limits" thing.
 
2012-06-04 02:18:07 PM

Son of Thunder: BronyMedic: Wow. And here I thought John Norman's Gor novels were just poorly written misogynistic sci-fi.

I came here to make a Gor reference [shakes tiny fist]. Sadly, I was aware that some... what's a nice way to put this?... fark it... freaks exist who attempt to maintain Gorean relationships.


I don't believe anyone does. Most people claiming to do so mean they are just using Gor as a fantasy backdrop for BDSM. Like a woman I knew who claimed she slept in a "slave kennel". It was the guest bedroom.
At the other end of the spectrum are people who practice Total Power Exchange and have nothing to do with Gor, despite it being the closest thing you can get to a "Gorean relationship" without being arrested for kidnapping.
 
2012-06-04 02:56:24 PM

JWideman: eople who practice Total Power Exchange


what a

media.giantbomb.com
 
2012-06-04 05:29:14 PM
It is things like this that keep my S&M activities limited instead of engaging in a full-fledged BDSM-based relationship. Misunderstandings happen, sometimes one person may not want to continue it but feels obligated to stay in it because the other person really enjoys it, or perhaps there are just times when things step over the line but because one or both partners are absorbed in the structure they are less likely to see it. And if that happens, sadly someone gets hurt far beyond what they can tolerate or desire. It's unfortunate. Having the ability to regularly step out of it and examine it from a slightly different perspective to keep it safe and stable is something that I find I need (at least, at this point in my life; who knows what the future holds), although I know several couples who have managed successful long-term D/s or M/s relationships for over a decade or two.
 
2012-06-04 05:33:08 PM

SkunkWerks: JWideman: eople who practice Total Power Exchange

what a

[media.giantbomb.com image 300x290]


How so?
 
2012-06-05 07:08:08 AM

JWideman: SkunkWerks: JWideman: eople who practice Total Power Exchange

what a

[media.giantbomb.com image 300x290]

How so?


In the immortal words of Agent James Ellison .... (3:28 to 3:30)
 
2012-06-07 02:16:34 AM
Why did Jesus die on the cross? He didn't have a safe word.

/rimshot
 
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