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(Some dating site)   New, comprehensive data on all the reasons why people break-up. Bad news for Farkers: drinking too much is #1 reason short relationships end   (blog.wotwentwrong.com) divider line 206
    More: Interesting, Top Breakup Reasons, interpersonal relationship, adoptees, Breakup Stats  
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8799 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 1:51 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-03 03:14:44 PM

Thisbymaster: I wish I got some feed back.


The cheeto dust isn't doing anything for you, tubby.
 
2012-06-03 03:15:19 PM

Johnny Bananapeel: Julie Cochrane: "Not ready for a relationship" should have included "(with you)." That's usually the caveat, isn't it? "You've turned into relationship-serious person lets have heavy 'talks' all the time instead of connect and have fun and make life better person--not so good."

[i.imgur.com image 500x402]


What is that?
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-03 03:15:24 PM
Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

//First and hopefully only time I had to have a friend of mine tell him to get lost after we broke up.
 
2012-06-03 03:15:31 PM
LeroyBourne: 1 month, you only want a sexual relationship: Girl, why'd you give it up so soon then? I'm a man, if you offer it I'm gonna take it regardless. If you put the kibosh on me and make me wait maybe I wouldn't see you as simply a sex object.

So we want it, and you want it, but if we do it, you'll scorn us for it?
And men say women's logic is hard to understand!
 
2012-06-03 03:16:39 PM
Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.
 
2012-06-03 03:17:48 PM

Julie Cochrane: LeroyBourne: 1 month, you only want a sexual relationship: Girl, why'd you give it up so soon then? I'm a man, if you offer it I'm gonna take it regardless. If you put the kibosh on me and make me wait maybe I wouldn't see you as simply a sex object.

Sexing you doesn't blind us to whether you're worth loving or not. Well, maybe it does--maybe it makes some women love men they shouldn't.

It's hard for women to wrap our heads around that sexing a guy frequently blinds you to the possibilities of emotionally connecting with that woman, usually ever.

Doesn't always happen, doesn't happen that way for all guys. And the exceptions are why it's so hard for us to wrap our heads around the sad fact that that's the way it does seem to work for a whole lot of guys.

It is very counter-intuitive to realize that you may have to say, "No, I won't fark you, because I like you, and I'm attracted to you, and I want to see if we emotionally connect or not and I don't want to screw that chance up by screwing too soon. I don't want to just be your friend."

Of course, then if the emotion thing doesn't connect up, there's nothing to keep you from farking like bunnies if the chemistry is still there.

Anyway. Women are insecure. We're afraid no guys will date us at all if we don't put out by the third date. And realistically, the overwhelming majority of guys--except in particular religions--will assume (frequently rightly) that there's something kinda crazy about a chick who isn't at least being loving and giving in some form or fashion by the third date.

If she's interested, she's interested. If she's not, she's not. Women are horny, too. We're madly eager to jump your bones on the first date. We're madly eager to jump your bones when we hand you our number. But if we really like you, we can't, because it's the one way to make absolutely sure we can't have you--because you do judge, and you do disappear, dammit.

So since "3rd date" seems to be the date at which most sane men wi ...


so much this. You seem like a cool lady.
 
2012-06-03 03:21:09 PM
Some anecdotes, FWIW.

Being tall's not all it's cracked up to be. When you hit your head on signs in stores, can't fit comfortably into airline seats and amusement park rides (you name it), you figure it out.

I once dated a girl who was 6'0" or so who was attracted to me because I was taller. I didn't say no, but it bugged me.

I was always attracted to shorter women. So I guess it doesn't go both ways.

I never understood why short guys get insecure, or why women want tall guys. Honestly, height is one of the last characteristics you should be concerned about.

Bottom line. It doesn't matter when you're horizontal.
 
2012-06-03 03:28:25 PM

Sabyen91: Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.


I've never understood the nagging thing. If I'm with a dude, it's because I accept he has certain tendencies, habits etc.

I went on a camping trip with the wife of a friend, and you could tell that he had done all of the work to get it ready, hauling in the food and the wood and sh*t. But almost everything he did, she had a complaint. "NO put it over there." "You didn't bring the other cooler?" "These hotdogs aren't all-beef!"

Made me uncomfortable as hell. At one point I wanted to say "Back off biatch," but that wouldv'e made it worse.
 
2012-06-03 03:29:00 PM

Wodan11: Some anecdotes, FWIW.

Being tall's not all it's cracked up to be. When you hit your head on signs in stores, can't fit comfortably into airline seats and amusement park rides (you name it), you figure it out.

I once dated a girl who was 6'0" or so who was attracted to me because I was taller. I didn't say no, but it bugged me.

I was always attracted to shorter women. So I guess it doesn't go both ways.

I never understood why short guys get insecure, or why women want tall guys. Honestly, height is one of the last characteristics you should be concerned about.

Bottom line. It doesn't matter when you're horizontal.



You sound virginally vertical.
 
2012-06-03 03:31:29 PM
My wife drinks, at most, 10 times a year. Why she married me I have no idea.
 
2012-06-03 03:32:31 PM

Amos Quito: kiwimoogle84: Amos Quito: kiwimoogle84: ThighsofGlory: Tight_as_an_Owl: How is one of the top physical complaints that the person is "too tall"? Are dwarfs the new thang?

I think it's pronoun trouble. She's too tall.



*weeping* Yes, that's my trouble. I dwarf a lot of guys, even in flats. Don't get me started on my collection of stilettos. It causes problems.


I'm 6'6".

Wanna get drunk?

Is it true what they say about really tall guys? That you have really long... pants?

/ba doom doom ching


Yeah. You should check out my inseam.

And is it true what they say about really tall girls? That you have really deep... pockets?

;-)


Dude, I've got five bucks in my bank account so I hope there wasn't a double meaning there.

/Oh wait I think I just got it
//perv
///still lol'd
 
2012-06-03 03:33:07 PM

Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".


Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.
 
2012-06-03 03:33:09 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Sabyen91: Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.

I've never understood the nagging thing. If I'm with a dude, it's because I accept he has certain tendencies, habits etc.

I went on a camping trip with the wife of a friend, and you could tell that he had done all of the work to get it ready, hauling in the food and the wood and sh*t. But almost everything he did, she had a complaint. "NO put it over there." "You didn't bring the other cooler?" "These hotdogs aren't all-beef!"

Made me uncomfortable as hell. At one point I wanted to say "Back off biatch," but that wouldv'e made it worse.



Scotty and Sarah?
 
2012-06-03 03:35:51 PM

Sabyen91: Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.


So...what if you go out with a craft brew-mistress and what if she nags you to have another drink?
 
2012-06-03 03:37:41 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.


Yup, I remember that one. Controlling as all hell. Even liked to scour my phone bill (I switched to electronic after this) to check out and question any numbers he didn't recognize. Kicked to curb.
 
2012-06-03 03:41:24 PM

NotARocketScientist: LeroyBourne: 1 month, you only want a sexual relationship: Girl, why'd you give it up so soon then? I'm a man, if you offer it I'm gonna take it regardless. If you put the kibosh on me and make me wait maybe I wouldn't see you as simply a sex object.

So we want it, and you want it, but if we do it, you'll scorn us for it?
And men say women's logic is hard to understand!


^^ that right there.

If we both want to have sex, and we have sex, and you decide I'm "unworthy" as a woman and a partner then I am perfectly okay with it. It's better to find out sooner rather than later that our worldviews are radically incompatible. I believe sex can be very emotionally fulfilling, but there is nothing inherently magical about sex or chastity or promiscuity. I have no interest in playing a role in your perverse virgin/whore complex.

/my boyfriend of 5 years was supposed to be a one-night stand
 
2012-06-03 03:44:59 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.


That was pretty much my reaction. That bucket of crazy didnt come out till month 6. He felt I was irresponsible for going to school since I had to take out student loans. I didnt think getting 2 engineering degrees was a bad idea but apparently thats just me. His parents were both doctors with private practices and he flunked out. He managed to clear 6 figs by being a flunk out so he felt I should have followed a similar path. I cant stand the constant calling either. I havent really dated anyone since.

Lots of good stories in this thread.
 
2012-06-03 03:46:35 PM

kiwimoogle84: Salt Lick Steady: Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.

Yup, I remember that one. Controlling as all hell. Even liked to scour my phone bill (I switched to electronic after this) to check out and question any numbers he didn't recognize. Kicked to curb.


Mine was - discovered too late - batsh*t crazy. When I cut it off, he started calling 50 times a day trying to saying all sorts of nasty shiat about me, accused me of stealing his stuff (that he self-appraised at one MILLion dollars *pinky to the mouth*). Had to change the number I'd had for many years.

A couple years back he found my work address because it was public record and sent me a note saying I was the "love of his life."

Sent me into a panic attack.
 
2012-06-03 03:47:09 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Sabyen91: Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.

I've never understood the nagging thing. If I'm with a dude, it's because I accept he has certain tendencies, habits etc.

I went on a camping trip with the wife of a friend, and you could tell that he had done all of the work to get it ready, hauling in the food and the wood and sh*t. But almost everything he did, she had a complaint. "NO put it over there." "You didn't bring the other cooler?" "These hotdogs aren't all-beef!"

Made me uncomfortable as hell. At one point I wanted to say "Back off biatch," but that wouldv'e made it worse.


People settle because they just want to be in a relationship. They then try to "fix" the other person. Pretty unhealthy way to start a relationship. I think people are afraid of being alone.

/That person you are talking about is probably just a biatch and the guy she is with probably secretly loves it if he hasn't left her.
 
2012-06-03 03:47:50 PM

Coastalgrl: Salt Lick Steady: Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.

That was pretty much my reaction. That bucket of crazy didnt come out till month 6. He felt I was irresponsible for going to school since I had to take out student loans. I didnt think getting 2 engineering degrees was a bad idea but apparently thats just me. His parents were both doctors with private practices and he flunked out. He managed to clear 6 figs by being a flunk out so he felt I should have followed a similar path. I cant stand the constant calling either. I havent really dated anyone since.

Lots of good stories in this thread.


You are not alone. My first serious bf was a complete douche (didn't really know better back then) and took everything for granted since his parents just have him everything and let him do anything he wanted. Spoiled kid. I didn't realize how awful our whole relationship was until I started dating men, not boys.

/HUGE difference
 
2012-06-03 03:48:02 PM

Julie Cochrane: Sabyen91: Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.

So...what if you go out with a craft brew-mistress and what if she nags you to have another drink?


(sigh) fine, fine, I will have another.

/The things I put up with.
//I am such a pushover.
 
2012-06-03 03:48:47 PM

kiwimoogle84: This translates to things like them being able to hold me down during the business.


I used to wrestle. I still have pretty good ground control.

just sayin'
 
2012-06-03 03:50:17 PM

Salt Lick Steady: kiwimoogle84: Salt Lick Steady: Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.

Yup, I remember that one. Controlling as all hell. Even liked to scour my phone bill (I switched to electronic after this) to check out and question any numbers he didn't recognize. Kicked to curb.

Mine was - discovered too late - batsh*t crazy. When I cut it off, he started calling 50 times a day trying to saying all sorts of nasty shiat about me, accused me of stealing his stuff (that he self-appraised at one MILLion dollars *pinky to the mouth*). Had to change the number I'd had for many years.

A couple years back he found my work address because it was public record and sent me a note saying I was the "love of his life."

Sent me into a panic attack.


Oh dear lord! That's about the time you go find a restraining order. I've changed a number or two because of stalker exes. AND his family on one occasion. Nothing like a mother of an ex calling asking why you destroyed her precious snowflake's heart. I answered by asking if she knew about his cocaine problem.

/that he didn't have
//never heard from either again though
 
2012-06-03 03:52:05 PM

Sabyen91: People settle because they just want to be in a relationship. They then try to "fix" the other person. Pretty unhealthy way to start a relationship. I think people are afraid of being alone.

/That person you are talking about is probably just a biatch and the guy she is with probably secretly loves it if he hasn't left her.


You're almost spot-on right. But there are other factors I don't wish to discuss that complicate that analysis, including age and personalities when they're apart.
 
2012-06-03 03:53:18 PM
I dated a taller chick in college. I'm 5'8" she's like 6'4 in those patent leather knee boots she liked to wear. I used to make her leave em on... We were kinda goth'ed out so we looked like Boris and Natasha so visually it worked. But she was tres psycho and a freak sex addict... oh and a total liar, started a whole whisper campaign against me that ended up making chicks more interested in me.

Chicks can be taller, smarter, richer, poorer, I'll even take the odd looking or slightly types... just don't be ordinary and boring. That's what's missing from the list.
 
2012-06-03 03:53:57 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Sabyen91: People settle because they just want to be in a relationship. They then try to "fix" the other person. Pretty unhealthy way to start a relationship. I think people are afraid of being alone.

You're almost spot-on right. But there are other factors I don't wish to discuss that complicate that analysis, including age and personalities when they're apart.


I think this deserves a big THIS.
 
2012-06-03 03:55:01 PM
Bad Good news for Farkers: drinking too much is #1 reason short relationships end

FTFY
 
2012-06-03 03:56:40 PM

kiwimoogle84: Oh dear lord! That's about the time you go find a restraining order. I've changed a number or two because of stalker exes. AND his family on one occasion. Nothing like a mother of an ex calling asking why you destroyed her precious snowflake's heart. I answered by asking if she knew about his cocaine problem.

/that he didn't have
//never heard from either again though


Nice thinking! But nah, restraining orders are really hard to get in Florida, and they don't have much of an effect until after something bad has happened.

When I left the state for NM, I thought I saw him (dude really did look like him) in my apartment complex, so I called the cops hyperventilating. They came, we figured out it wasn't him, and then they sat me down in my apartment and grilled me for a few minutes to see if I was crazy. Uncomfortable.
 
2012-06-03 03:59:42 PM

MrHappyRotter: Without fail, every single relationship I've ever been in has ended for the same reason. You'd think there was a law against peeing in the kitchen sink.


This
 
2012-06-03 03:59:53 PM
Does bi-sexual whore make it onto this list anywhere? Because that hurts...
 
2012-06-03 04:01:01 PM
I can't fap to that.
 
2012-06-03 04:02:50 PM
Yeah, that was the first thing that happened when I got a book contract. Somebody who was married to somebody from my hometown thought it was soooo cool. Then a few bits of way too much of Other People's Enthusiasm later, the douchenozzle stalker ex from high school knew what my current name was, knew what my email was, knew roughly where I lived.....

Hooray for attention, isn't it wonderful.
 
2012-06-03 04:04:24 PM

Jebus Slaves: MrHappyRotter: Without fail, every single relationship I've ever been in has ended for the same reason. You'd think there was a law against peeing in the kitchen sink.

This


Did your faucets not work?
 
2012-06-03 04:05:11 PM

Salt Lick Steady: kiwimoogle84: Oh dear lord! That's about the time you go find a restraining order. I've changed a number or two because of stalker exes. AND his family on one occasion. Nothing like a mother of an ex calling asking why you destroyed her precious snowflake's heart. I answered by asking if she knew about his cocaine problem.

/that he didn't have
//never heard from either again though

Nice thinking! But nah, restraining orders are really hard to get in Florida, and they don't have much of an effect until after something bad has happened.

When I left the state for NM, I thought I saw him (dude really did look like him) in my apartment complex, so I called the cops hyperventilating. They came, we figured out it wasn't him, and then they sat me down in my apartment and grilled me for a few minutes to see if I was crazy. Uncomfortable.




Are you really in Pie Town, NM? There are three people there.
 
2012-06-03 04:07:27 PM

Salt Lick Steady: They came, we figured out it wasn't him, and then they sat me down in my apartment and grilled me for a few minutes to see if I was crazy.


Don't leave us hanging. What did they decide?
 
2012-06-03 04:07:37 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Jebus Slaves: MrHappyRotter: Without fail, every single relationship I've ever been in has ended for the same reason. You'd think there was a law against peeing in the kitchen sink.

This

Did your faucets not work?


HA!!
 
2012-06-03 04:09:01 PM

umad: Salt Lick Steady: They came, we figured out it wasn't him, and then they sat me down in my apartment and grilled me for a few minutes to see if I was crazy.

Don't leave us hanging. What did they decide?


Let me fill you in on a secret. All women are crazy to a degree. The trick is finding a woman whose crazy you don't mind that much.

/ADD and OCD
//tweaks on something tirelessly until I get distracted
 
2012-06-03 04:09:33 PM

MrHappyRotter: You'd think there was a law against peeing in the kitchen sink.


No, but there is law against me pounding your brains out on the drain board for being such a piece of garbage you can't find the toilet.

/sorry, i actually had to go to jail for just that
\don't pee in my sink
 
2012-06-03 04:09:46 PM

Sabyen91: Nah, it is the nagging that leads to the "too much drinking" that is the real cause.


What if she is nagging you to KEEP drinking?
 
2012-06-03 04:10:00 PM

neapoi: Does bi-sexual whore make it onto this list anywhere? Because that hurts...


You did it wrong.
 
2012-06-03 04:10:28 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Are you really in Pie Town, NM? There are three people there.


No, I'm not. I was, but I'm not.
 
2012-06-03 04:11:21 PM

Salt Lick Steady: Coastalgrl: Strange, didnt see "you were irresponsible for going to school" and "I dont want you to work. I want you home" as well as "You should just deposit your paycheck into my account. I'll take care of the bills".

Oh, hell no. That and needing to know wherever I go, or calling several times a day, or having to be near me at all times. No.


If you loved me youd always want me to know where you are and who you're with.
 
2012-06-03 04:12:44 PM

umad: Don't leave us hanging. What did they decide?


Coprastasophobia. Since then I try to get a lot of natural fiber in my diet.
 
2012-06-03 04:17:23 PM

Salt Lick Steady: umad: Don't leave us hanging. What did they decide?

Coprastasophobia. Since then I try to get a lot of natural fiber in my diet.


Taurocoprophobia
 
2012-06-03 04:20:30 PM

Tight_as_an_Owl: How is one of the top physical complaints that the person is "too tall"? Are dwarfs the new thang?


I think that's code for "penis too big" mentioned earlier.
 
2012-06-03 04:22:58 PM
When I was single and used online dating sites, most of the guys off of those sites would suggest first dates solely around drinking. It got so bad that I started including on my profile that I will not meet anyone on a first date at a place where the only thing to do was to drink, for my safety and because I don't want to be your designated driver while we're supposed to be getting to know each other. I'm convinced that 85% of men that use OK Cupid are alcoholics.
 
2012-06-03 04:25:39 PM
The reason in every case is this:
"I think I can do better"
 
2012-06-03 04:27:27 PM

NotARocketScientist: LeroyBourne: 1 month, you only want a sexual relationship: Girl, why'd you give it up so soon then? I'm a man, if you offer it I'm gonna take it regardless. If you put the kibosh on me and make me wait maybe I wouldn't see you as simply a sex object.

So we want it, and you want it, but if we do it, you'll scorn us for it?
And men say women's logic is hard to understand!


No scorn here. It works both ways too, and I've seen it. Some guy fall head over heels in love with some chick he just slept with, but she has no intentions of a LTR.
 
2012-06-03 04:27:48 PM

cookiefleck: When I was single and used online dating sites, most of the guys off of those sites would suggest first dates solely around drinking.


I used to suggest mini-golf. It only worked once. Usually I was told it was kinda childish. IMHO, it's fun, cheap, doesn't have to be competitive, a comfortable public atmosphere, and leaves plenty of time for conversation.
 
2012-06-03 04:31:09 PM

Notabunny: List fails without 'Penis too large'


ha! old friend from high school was hung like a weasel...i mean like the actual weasel!
LOTS of girls/women wanted to give it a whirl - not much in the way of repeat business

/this irishman is ok with his irishness
 
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