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(The Detroit_News)   ★☆☆☆☆ Michigan is an uninhabitable swamp. Do not settle   (detroitnews.com) divider line 191
    More: Interesting, Michigan  
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20629 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 2:35 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-03 03:46:39 PM

Oldiron_79: LadyBelgara:
/farking Ohio

Ohio and Arizona are competing to see who gets their own tag like Florida


Arizona will win that battle, hands down. I predict they'll overtake Florida in stupidity eventually, and probably sooner rather than later.

/escaped the crazy almost a year ago now
//fark Arizona, too
 
2012-06-03 03:49:19 PM

9beers: IamKaiserSoze!!!: as well as more registered boats.

Michigan is actually 3rd and hasn't been first for a while now. Link


huh
 
2012-06-03 03:54:15 PM

LadyBelgara: IamKaiserSoze!!!: 9beers: ronaprhys: Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.

Yeah - so except for lots and lots of other places that are significantly better, you might want to go to michigan.


Most of the places you mention are coastal waters. Not really what most people have in mind if they want a day at the lake.

Michigan has more shoreline than any other state as well as more registered boats. It's fricken paradise for boating, fishing, hunting, hiking, golfing or pretty much any outdoor activity.

I love how the Michiganders have found this thread.

I also love how the guy that lived in Jersey is arguing that Michigan sucks.


I moved outof Michigan (Traverse City actually) in '99 and have missed it badly. Since then I've lived outside Denver, in NOLA and Vegas and now Iowa. If you like the outdoors (and I do) I haven't found a state that has so much to do outdoors and so much public land access.

Also, pretty much anybody that badmouths Michigan has never been there. Even Detroit is a great city with suburbs as good as any major urban area of the country. I lived in Grosse Pointe Park for six years and loved it.
 
2012-06-03 03:58:38 PM

Forty-Two: That's why the western part was settled by Swamp Germans.


Had never heard that expression before.
Imagine what the History Channel could do with that.

/75% German
 
2012-06-03 03:59:21 PM

CygnusDarius: Oldiron_79: mab1823: I built it anyway.

And it sank into the swamp

So he built a second one.


It sank into the swamp!
 
2012-06-03 04:00:26 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: 9beers: IamKaiserSoze!!!: as well as more registered boats.

Michigan is actually 3rd and hasn't been first for a while now. Link

huh


My link seems a little more believable.
 
2012-06-03 04:00:28 PM
IamKaiserSoze!!!: LadyBelgara: IamKaiserSoze!!!: 9beers: ronaprhys: Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.

Yeah - so except for lots and lots of other places that are significantly better, you might want to go to michigan.


Most of the places you mention are coastal waters. Not really what most people have in mind if they want a day at the lake.

Michigan has more shoreline than any other state as well as more registered boats. It's fricken paradise for boating, fishing, hunting, hiking, golfing or pretty much any outdoor activity.

I love how the Michiganders have found this thread.

I also love how the guy that lived in Jersey is arguing that Michigan sucks.

I moved outof Michigan (Traverse City actually) in '99 and have missed it badly. Since then I've lived outside Denver, in NOLA and Vegas and now Iowa. If you like the outdoors (and I do) I haven't found a state that has so much to do outdoors and so much public land access.

Also, pretty much anybody that badmouths Michigan has never been there. Even Detroit is a great city with suburbs as good as any major urban area of the country. I lived in Grosse Pointe Park for six years and loved it.


Most of the state seems alright, but Detroit needs to be Nuked from orbit
 
2012-06-03 04:01:35 PM
As someone who lives up north I am here to tell all of you this report is still true. Nothing to see here please move along.
 
2012-06-03 04:07:10 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: I moved out of Michigan (Traverse City actually) in '99 and have missed it badly. Since then I've lived outside Denver, in NOLA and Vegas and now Iowa. If you like the outdoors (and I do) I haven't found a state that has so much to do outdoors and so much public land access.

Also, pretty much anybody that badmouths Michigan has never been there. Even Detroit is a great city with suburbs as good as any major urban area of the country. I lived in Grosse Pointe Park for six years and loved it.


You're right about the outdoor recreation. We also have a wondrously diverse agriculture - being among the top producers of several fruits and vegetables. There are also a lot of cultural opportunities.

I've been in all 48 contiguous states and Alaska, and in every place I have found someone who believes it's the best place in the country to live; although every place has its detractors as well. And, overall, I'd take any state in the union over any foreign country. But Michigan is far and away my favorite state because of all the diversity and opportunity.

Those Buckeyes have been lying about us from the get go. When Ohioans go to bed at night, they pray that when they wake up, they'll be in Michigan.
 
2012-06-03 04:10:41 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: Even Detroit is a great city with suburbs as good as any major urban area of the country. I lived in Grosse Pointe Park for six years and loved it.


The suburbs surrounding Detroit have nothing to do with the city of Detroit. The downtown area is good enough but most of the neighborhoods in Detroit need to be bulldozed. I drove downtown the other day, via Michigan Ave and it's farking embarrassing how bad it is. Crack whores everywhere, graffiti all over the place, burned out or abandoned buildings, homeless people, shells of vehicles sitting in lots, run down homes. Farking blight everywhere you look.

Speaking of Michigan Ave, would it be too much to ask that they repave the goddamn bare cobblestone section near Tiger Stadium that's been like that for the past 30 farking years?
 
2012-06-03 04:15:41 PM

ronaprhys: 9beers: If you're a fan of the water, Michigan is pretty much the best place to be.

Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.


In light of the fact that every species of plant or animal in Australia can kill you, that's the last place I'd want to go to enjoy the water.

/wades in to the ocean
/steps on poisonous piss clam, coral, crab, etc, eaten by shark, stung by mutant jellyfish
/dies

Give me a fresh water lake in the northern U.S. any day.
 
2012-06-03 04:16:11 PM

wildcardjack: Can we... Give Michigan back to the French? They'd like it, it's got industrial grade ennui and I know they like that. And cherries.


As long as we can give Texas back to Mexico. Oh wait...
 
2012-06-03 04:20:14 PM

Forty-Two: That's why the western part was settled by Swamp Germans.


Swamp Germans is a derogatory term for the Dutch (a bunch of lowlanders who built the dykes and wiindmills to pump the water out of the swamps in which they wanted to live). In spite of the fact that the Dutch largely settled the area, there is a great deal of ethnic diversity there now.

Holland still has Tulip Time every year, however. Some of us think it a shame that "Tourist Season" doesn't mean the same thing as "Deer Season."
 
2012-06-03 04:34:58 PM

9beers: IamKaiserSoze!!!: Even Detroit is a great city with suburbs as good as any major urban area of the country. I lived in Grosse Pointe Park for six years and loved it.

The suburbs surrounding Detroit have nothing to do with the city of Detroit. The downtown area is good enough but most of the neighborhoods in Detroit need to be bulldozed. I drove downtown the other day, via Michigan Ave and it's farking embarrassing how bad it is. Crack whores everywhere, graffiti all over the place, burned out or abandoned buildings, homeless people, shells of vehicles sitting in lots, run down homes. Farking blight everywhere you look.

Speaking of Michigan Ave, would it be too much to ask that they repave the goddamn bare cobblestone section near Tiger Stadium that's been like that for the past 30 farking years?


Agree with the city neighborhoods comment. Keep Indian Village, Pamer Parks/Woods and that strip along the water where the Mayor's residence is and plow the rest under.
 
2012-06-03 04:36:42 PM

sex0r: ronaprhys: 9beers: If you're a fan of the water, Michigan is pretty much the best place to be.

Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.


In light of the fact that every species of plant or animal in Australia can kill you, that's the last place I'd want to go to enjoy the water.

/wades in to the ocean
/steps on poisonous piss clam, coral, crab, etc, eaten by shark, stung by mutant jellyfish
/dies

Give me a fresh water lake or a gin clear river in the northern U.S. any day.


better
 
2012-06-03 04:39:44 PM

barneyfifesbullet: [i202.photobucket.com image 576x320]

TAKE HIM TO DETROIT!


You are a poster of extra-ordinary magnitude.
 
2012-06-03 04:41:59 PM
Well Michigan saved your collective asses during WWII with all our iron and copper to make all those bombers and bombs, so keep that in mind.

i86.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-03 04:59:07 PM

HMS_Blinkin: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?


They still have Coke in the 16oz glass bottles up there, so they're OK with me

/Grew up in Port Huron.
 
2012-06-03 05:01:18 PM
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
 
2012-06-03 05:12:54 PM
As someone who lives in Michigan in the off season, we have good booze and fruit.

/and lots of people from Illinois
//that's about it
 
2012-06-03 05:14:39 PM
Meh, the guy was from Ohio. fark him.
 
2012-06-03 05:14:57 PM

sulco: HMS_Blinkin: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?

Uhm no.. I am out of state right now so I have internet. And we don't have indoor plumbing or electricity. We travel by mule wagons.. the skeeters are as big as crows and the black flies can carry a grown man away. Everyone should probably stay away so no one else gets hurt.

/not really.. mostly..


Great place except for the lack of jobs. The Snow. Oh and the yoopers.
 
2012-06-03 05:15:26 PM
This is bad news for....Romney.
 
2012-06-03 05:16:42 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!:

Give me a fresh water lake or a gin clear river in the northern U.S. any day.



Never mind gin clear, I know a waterfall pond near a hot spring in Oregon that's freaking Bombay Sapphire blue.
 
2012-06-03 05:17:22 PM

sulco: HMS_Blinkin: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?

Uhm no.. I am out of state right now so I have internet. And we don't have indoor plumbing or electricity. We travel by mule wagons.. the skeeters are as big as crows and the black flies can carry a grown man away. Everyone should probably stay away so no one else gets hurt.

/not really.. mostly..


Seems like you've confused it with the Adirondacks.
 
2012-06-03 05:19:48 PM

Mr_H: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

As someone in the Midland/Bay City/Saginaw area...yeah, agreed. Northern Michigan is beautiful, mid to south, not so much.

/saginaw could be improved with a nice nuking
//Spell check keeps replacing saginaw with vaginal,heh


My slice of southeast Michigan is pretty nice. The name (Hell) is misleading.
 
2012-06-03 05:23:23 PM

fredbox: IamKaiserSoze!!!:

Give me a fresh water lake or a gin clear river in the northern U.S. any day.



Never mind gin clear, I know a waterfall pond near a hot spring in Oregon that's freaking Bombay Sapphire blue.


Never been to Oregon but heard it's beautiful. Michigan has a lot of lakes that are that carribean tourquoise blue, but the rivers are mostly clear
 
2012-06-03 05:27:08 PM

ronaprhys: michigan sucks.

/that is all


I support a gaggle of software engineers out in Ann Arbor. THIS.

/Ann Arbor's a whore.
 
2012-06-03 05:28:07 PM
But she's got huge tracks of land!!
 
2012-06-03 05:41:07 PM

marius2: After reading that article, I'm going to pronounce Detroit like a Frenchie from now on.


Le Merde?
 
2012-06-03 05:43:28 PM
i86.photobucket.com

I'm thinking of submitting this for the "Pure Michigan" campaign.
 
2012-06-03 05:45:55 PM

StickyBunBandit: Go ahead,bad mouth Michigan.

But remember,we have 90 percent of the country's fresh water here in the great lakes.

So when the aquifers run dry,people will flock here for water.

Oh yeah,there's already an agreement by the states surrounding the lakes and Canada


that no water will be shipped from here to other states.


Silly Michigander! He trusts the Federal government to abide by it's treaties!
 
2012-06-03 05:48:17 PM

HMS_Blinkin: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?


They mail there internet forum responses to Houghton or Marquette and some teenager types it into the intertubes from there.

/ Gonna be in L'Anse next week
// Hey dere how ya doin' OK thanks
 
2012-06-03 06:15:59 PM

Mr_H: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

As someone in the Midland/Bay City/Saginaw area...yeah, agreed. Northern Michigan is beautiful, mid to south, not so much.

/saginaw could be improved with a nice nuking
//Spell check keeps replacing saginaw with vaginal,heh


Nah, Just let Dow in Midland continue with their semi-frequent releases of toxic chemicals, may take longer tho.

/Tho every time that happens, Dow funds something in the Saginaw Valley (ie Dow Events Center [was the Saginaw Civic Center], Dow Gardens, etc.)
 
2012-06-03 06:17:49 PM
In other news,

Ann Arbor is still a whore.
 
2012-06-03 06:21:48 PM

Marcintosh: sulco: HMS_Blinkin: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?

Uhm no.. I am out of state right now so I have internet. And we don't have indoor plumbing or electricity. We travel by mule wagons.. the skeeters are as big as crows and the black flies can carry a grown man away. Everyone should probably stay away so no one else gets hurt.

/not really.. mostly..

Seems like you've confused it with the Adirondacks.


There is no confusion. This is also an accurate description of the Upper Peninsula.
 
2012-06-03 06:26:40 PM
I live in Mich. My old high school is sinking. They even had to install a special gym floor because it kept warping. Grandpa told them not to build it there. He sold them the land when they insisted.
 
2012-06-03 06:32:30 PM

Forty-Two: That's why the western part was settled by Swamp Germans.

/including my ancestors
//I'm so glad my parents moved out of Michigan before starting a family


fc02.deviantart.net
What a Swamp German might look like.
 
2012-06-03 06:32:36 PM

9beers: Most of the places you mention are coastal waters. Not really what most people have in mind if they want a day at the lake.


Had you said "a day at the lake, you'd have a point. You didn't. Mostly because you're from that state up north, I've quoted your original nonsense below. Note that lake is never mentioned.

9beers: If you're a fan of the water, Michigan is pretty much the best place to be.


Another fine example of the failure that is your state.
 
2012-06-03 06:35:23 PM

Poldana: I live in Mich. My old high school is sinking. They even had to install a special gym floor because it kept warping. Grandpa told them not to build it there. He sold them the land when they insisted.


Greetings to a fellow Western HS alum!

/class of 92
//Michigan sucks
 
2012-06-03 06:40:53 PM

slayer199: Damn, so the Michigan-Ohio rivalry goes back further than I thought. Farking Ohio.

"In 1815, Ohio native Edward Tiffin, the U.S Surveyor General, visited the Michigan Territory and reported on November 30, 1816 to the Secretary of War that "there would not be more than one acre out of a hundred if there would be one out of a thousand would ... admit of cultivation. ... It was unsafe for men or pack mules, the ground sinking at every step and shaking for several feet around, having indications of being over a vast underground lake covered by a thin crust though which a man or mule might easily break and be lost.

" ... The intermediate space between the swamps and lakes, which is probably nearly one half of the country, is, with a very few exceptions, a poor, barren, sandy land, on which scarcely any vegetation grows, except very small scrubby oaks. ... The abandonment of colonization is urged as being dangerous and unnecessary."


He was born in England and lived in VIrginia until he was 32. Yep, that certainly makes him an Ohio native....
 
2012-06-03 06:46:37 PM
"there would not be more than one acre out of a hundred if there would be one out of a thousand would ... admit of cultivation. ... It was unsafe for men or pack mules, the ground sinking at every step and shaking for several feet around, having indications of being over a vast underground lake covered by a thin crust though which a man or mule might easily break and be lost.

lulwut?

A farking lolcat meme makes more sense
 
2012-06-03 06:52:36 PM

ronaprhys: Another fine example of the failure that is your state.


Says the guy from New Jersey.

HAHAHA
 
2012-06-03 06:53:03 PM
Detroit Free Press columnist George C. Bates, 1812-86, wrote about his memory of arriving in Detroit and seeing pear trees planted by early French settlers on the grounds of what is now Water Works Park: "The pear trees, some of them one hundred and fifty years old, were covered with white blossoms ... that scene of quiet beauty; the windmills fluttering in the wind, the French carts along the shore, the log houses all newly white washed, neat, tidy, and surrounded by cackling geese, chattering ducks, squealing pigs, and lowing cattle, all of which could be heard from our deck, presented a scene of exquisite beauty, and a land so quaint, so unique, so beautiful that at once I was in love with it all ..."


My, how things change.
 
2012-06-03 06:57:49 PM
img215.imageshack.us

Chicka-chicka Slim Swampy!
 
2012-06-03 07:08:27 PM

9beers: ronaprhys: Another fine example of the failure that is your state.

Says the guy from New Jersey.

HAHAHA


Again, you show that you fail at reading comprehension. Yes, I live in Jersey for a year. It sucked. Not as bad as your piece of crap state, but still. I am not, however, from NJ.

/michigan sucks
/ann arbor is a whore
 
2012-06-03 07:09:02 PM

breadprincess:

My slice of southeast Michigan is pretty nice. The name (Hell) is misleading.


Been to Hell, it was absolutely awesome... and I am not talking about my marriage.
 
2012-06-03 07:13:17 PM

ronaprhys: Again, you show that you fail at reading comprehension. Yes, I live in Jersey for a year. It sucked. Not as bad as your piece of crap state, but still. I am not, however, from NJ.


Notice how this guy keeps responding without mentioning where he lives.
 
2012-06-03 07:14:40 PM
The UP is not Northern Michigan... we are the uppermost-eastern region of Wisconsin.

ALTHOUGH I do get a hearty chuckle out of the Yoopers that think Kid Rock is singing about the UP in that song where he talks about 'Northern Michigan'.

/not a real Yooper, transplant
//but I do pay taxes here
///and I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night
////not really..
//Gin and slashies are awesome
 
2012-06-03 07:16:52 PM

9beers: ronaprhys: Again, you show that you fail at reading comprehension. Yes, I live in Jersey for a year. It sucked. Not as bad as your piece of crap state, but still. I am not, however, from NJ.

Notice how this guy keeps responding without mentioning where he lives.


I'm pretty sure we can figure that part out.
 
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