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(The Detroit_News)   ★☆☆☆☆ Michigan is an uninhabitable swamp. Do not settle   (detroitnews.com) divider line 191
    More: Interesting, Michigan  
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20632 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 2:35 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-03 02:35:58 PM
I built it anyway.
 
2012-06-03 02:36:21 PM
michigan sucks.

/that is all
 
2012-06-03 02:37:23 PM
L@@K
 
2012-06-03 02:38:03 PM
To be fair, there are a lot of places just like that. And yes, walking through wetlands can be dangerous.
 
2012-06-03 02:38:56 PM
mab1823: I built it anyway.

And it sank into the swamp
 
2012-06-03 02:39:01 PM
I admit it, I clicked the stars to see if it would rate. :/
 
2012-06-03 02:39:58 PM
They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.
 
2012-06-03 02:40:02 PM
I thought that was only Detroit?
 
2012-06-03 02:40:38 PM
If you're a fan of the water, Michigan is pretty much the best place to be.
 
2012-06-03 02:41:05 PM
Still metaphorically true.
 
2012-06-03 02:41:06 PM
mab1823:

But the fourth one stayed up!
 
2012-06-03 02:42:36 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-06-03 02:43:42 PM
Probably the first recorded instance of Ohio/Michigan rivarly.
 
2012-06-03 02:43:59 PM

sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.


Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?
 
2012-06-03 02:45:17 PM
That's why the western part was settled by Swamp Germans.

/including my ancestors
//I'm so glad my parents moved out of Michigan before starting a family
 
2012-06-03 02:45:36 PM
Just tech masonry and let your worker drain it.
 
2012-06-03 02:45:42 PM

ronaprhys: michigan sucks.

/that is all


QFT
 
2012-06-03 02:46:02 PM
of being over a vast underground lake covered by a thin crust though which a man or mule might easily break and be lost.

The aquatic life-forms of this vast underground lake have evolutionary potential.
 
2012-06-03 02:46:40 PM
I can't imagine Tim Allen making an ad about that.
 
2012-06-03 02:46:56 PM

ronaprhys: michigan sucks.

/that is all


So does your mother----- that's why you're stinking up the earth today.
 
2012-06-03 02:51:44 PM
After reading that article, I'm going to pronounce Detroit like a Frenchie from now on.
 
2012-06-03 02:52:21 PM

9beers: If you're a fan of the water, Michigan is pretty much the best place to be.


Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.

Yeah - so except for lots and lots of other places that are significantly better, you might want to go to michigan.

antrat00: So does your mother----- that's why you're stinking up the earth today.


And you single-handedly show the problem with michigan's lack of an educational system. Sucking does not get one pregnant. No wonder your state is failing so miserably.
 
2012-06-03 02:53:14 PM

HMS_Blinkin: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

Good lord, a Yooper on Fark? Do you really have internet up there?


Uhm no.. I am out of state right now so I have internet. And we don't have indoor plumbing or electricity. We travel by mule wagons.. the skeeters are as big as crows and the black flies can carry a grown man away. Everyone should probably stay away so no one else gets hurt.

/not really.. mostly..
 
2012-06-03 02:53:38 PM

universebetween: Probably the first recorded instance of Ohio/Michigan rivarly.


Yep.

/West Michigan native
//Nice place, but I like NC better
 
2012-06-03 02:55:56 PM

Oldiron_79: mab1823: I built it anyway.

And it sank into the swamp


So he built a second one.
 
2012-06-03 02:56:50 PM
Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice.

For some odd reason we're the only state with control over our wetlands. (edit: okay, and Jersey). I think because we gave a damn about it before the federal government cared, I can't quite remember. In any case. what makes this hilarious is that the conservatives in the state have been (mostly) quietly pushing for us to give the control of that to the feds (not really *back* to them so much).

Because, you know, state's rights. Right of people in the state to get away with more crap because our laws are more strict and because it's easier to enforce such things at a state level. That oh so great "we're losing businesses and jobs all because of our wetland protection!" while ignoring the tourism/hunting-fishing dollars that come into the state (at least a billion yearly, don't have the exact figure) which would ebb away if the habitats go, the money spent on flood aftermath, the homegrown environmental consultant jobs... let's ignore those.

That link is to a think tank that generally comes up with intellectual sounding arguments for whatever the party wants to do, by the way. Horse before the cart style.

Even if they can be overzealous sometimes with wetland protection (I will admit this), it's a damn important thing (alongside drainage). Not just for the environment, but, y'know... water has to flow somewhere. Better into a wetland that your developer had to preserve than into your basement, eh?

We could just work to streamline the process, have a wetland bank that smaller developers could buy into to replace areas they're filling in, have an easier process to get rid of the obvious stupid cases.

Or we could just cede power to the EPA, because water is certainly not an important thing in Michigan.
 
2012-06-03 02:57:47 PM
Can we... Give Michigan back to the French? They'd like it, it's got industrial grade ennui and I know they like that. And cherries.
 
2012-06-03 02:58:06 PM
School geographies and guide books reportedly contained maps with the words "Interminable Swamp" across the interior of Michigan.

I mean, what are the three terrors of the Interminable Swamp?
One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that.
Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?

ordinarysuperhero.com

Clearly, they do not exist.
 
2012-06-03 02:58:33 PM
Michigan itself is pretty nice. BUT. I've lived in seven or eight states, including Florida and Nebraska, and I haven't come close to living anywhere where the state and local government was as bad as it is in Michigan. When there's a problem in Michigan (all the time), you can count on the local government to do nothing useful about it. They can't even be bothered to pretend very hard.

Taxes here aren't so bad, but the return on them is incredibly low. The roads are crap, and they don't get plowed much in the winter. The police often as not are too busy to respond when you call them. Utilities are poor. Yadda yadda. It's kind of embarrassing.
 
2012-06-03 03:02:12 PM
Those hand drawn maps in the slide show are pretty amazing. Too bad they are so SMALL!!!
 
2012-06-03 03:05:13 PM
That's what's wrong with Detroit. It's the French!
 
2012-06-03 03:07:07 PM

ronaprhys: And you single-handedly show the problem with michigan's lack of an educational system. Sucking does not get one pregnant. No wonder your state is failing so miserably.


And yet somehow they keep reproducing.
 
2012-06-03 03:09:34 PM
i202.photobucket.com

TAKE HIM TO DETROIT!
 
2012-06-03 03:15:41 PM

ronaprhys: Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.

Yeah - so except for lots and lots of other places that are significantly better, you might want to go to michigan.



Most of the places you mention are coastal waters. Not really what most people have in mind if they want a day at the lake.
 
2012-06-03 03:17:21 PM
★★★★★ Would read again.
 
2012-06-03 03:20:23 PM

Forty-Two: That's why the western part was settled by Swamp Germans.

/including my ancestors
//I'm so glad my parents moved out of Michigan before starting a family


I'm a swamp german :D Who knew! I'm pretty glad my parents moved back to Michigan when raising me, spending my summers at a cottage on the lake was awesome. Where I'm at now, you spend your summers swaddled inside with the AC on high.
 
2012-06-03 03:20:42 PM

sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.


As someone in the Midland/Bay City/Saginaw area...yeah, agreed. Northern Michigan is beautiful, mid to south, not so much.

/saginaw could be improved with a nice nuking
//Spell check keeps replacing saginaw with vaginal,heh
 
2012-06-03 03:24:39 PM
Damn, so the Michigan-Ohio rivalry goes back further than I thought. Farking Ohio.

"In 1815, Ohio native Edward Tiffin, the U.S Surveyor General, visited the Michigan Territory and reported on November 30, 1816 to the Secretary of War that "there would not be more than one acre out of a hundred if there would be one out of a thousand would ... admit of cultivation. ... It was unsafe for men or pack mules, the ground sinking at every step and shaking for several feet around, having indications of being over a vast underground lake covered by a thin crust though which a man or mule might easily break and be lost.

" ... The intermediate space between the swamps and lakes, which is probably nearly one half of the country, is, with a very few exceptions, a poor, barren, sandy land, on which scarcely any vegetation grows, except very small scrubby oaks. ... The abandonment of colonization is urged as being dangerous and unnecessary."
 
2012-06-03 03:25:05 PM

Mr_H: sulco: They're talking about downstate, so no surprise there.

As someone in the Midland/Bay City/Saginaw area...yeah, agreed. Northern Michigan is beautiful, mid to south, not so much.

/saginaw could be improved with a nice nuking
//Spell check keeps replacing saginaw with vaginal,heh


As someone who escaped, I couldn't agree more.

/I have nothing more to add to this conversation
 
2012-06-03 03:25:23 PM

WelldeadLink: ★★★★★ Would read again.


That was a good article. It seems like Detroit has better writers than a lot of cities that get stuff greenlit on here.
 
2012-06-03 03:25:23 PM
FTA: "To become a state you needed 60,000 residents (defined as white males)."

So, does Michigan still qualify?
 
2012-06-03 03:34:07 PM
Go ahead,bad mouth Michigan.

But remember,we have 90 percent of the country's fresh water here in the great lakes.

So when the aquifers run dry,people will flock here for water.

Oh yeah,there's already an agreement by the states surrounding the lakes and Canada


that no water will be shipped from here to other states.
 
2012-06-03 03:34:21 PM

Forty-Two: That's why the western part was settled by Swamp Germans.

/including my ancestors
//I'm so glad my parents moved out of Michigan before starting a family


Swamp Germans. best google gave was a candy review on LiveLeakdotcom:
"Those drops are absolutely crap candy from Holland. The zoot and zout is horrible beyond belief. Also sticks in your teeth like juju bees, probably explaining yellow teethed swamp germans. There is a reason that stuff don't make export."
 
2012-06-03 03:35:43 PM
StickyBunBandit: Go ahead,bad mouth Michigan.

But remember,we have 90 percent of the country's fresh water here in the great lakes.

So when the aquifers run dry,people will flock here for water.

Oh yeah,there's already an agreement by the states surrounding the lakes and Canada


that no water will be shipped from here to other states.


LOL, if the Imperial Federal govt wants the water it will get your water.

/I drink your milkshake
 
2012-06-03 03:39:07 PM

9beers: ronaprhys: Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.

Yeah - so except for lots and lots of other places that are significantly better, you might want to go to michigan.


Most of the places you mention are coastal waters. Not really what most people have in mind if they want a day at the lake.


Michigan has more shoreline than any other state as well as more registered boats. It's fricken paradise for boating, fishing, hunting, hiking, golfing or pretty much any outdoor activity.
 
2012-06-03 03:41:29 PM

slayer199: Damn, so the Michigan-Ohio rivalry goes back further than I thought. Farking Ohio.

"In 1815, Ohio native Edward Tiffin, the U.S Surveyor General, visited the Michigan Territory and reported on November 30, 1816 to the Secretary of War that "there would not be more than one acre out of a hundred if there would be one out of a thousand would ... admit of cultivation. ... It was unsafe for men or pack mules, the ground sinking at every step and shaking for several feet around, having indications of being over a vast underground lake covered by a thin crust though which a man or mule might easily break and be lost.

" ... The intermediate space between the swamps and lakes, which is probably nearly one half of the country, is, with a very few exceptions, a poor, barren, sandy land, on which scarcely any vegetation grows, except very small scrubby oaks. ... The abandonment of colonization is urged as being dangerous and unnecessary."


I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed that.

/farking Ohio
 
2012-06-03 03:42:47 PM
"Michigan is an uninhabitable swamp. Would not settle again."
 
2012-06-03 03:43:07 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: 9beers: ronaprhys: Except for silly places like the east or west coasts. Or the Gulf. Or Minnesota. New Hampshire. The Mediterranean. Australia. South Pacific.

Yeah - so except for lots and lots of other places that are significantly better, you might want to go to michigan.


Most of the places you mention are coastal waters. Not really what most people have in mind if they want a day at the lake.

Michigan has more shoreline than any other state as well as more registered boats. It's fricken paradise for boating, fishing, hunting, hiking, golfing or pretty much any outdoor activity.


I love how the Michiganders have found this thread.

I also love how the guy that lived in Jersey is arguing that Michigan sucks.
 
2012-06-03 03:43:15 PM
LadyBelgara:
/farking Ohio


Ohio and Arizona are competing to see who gets their own tag like Florida
 
2012-06-03 03:44:57 PM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: as well as more registered boats.


Michigan is actually 3rd and hasn't been first for a while now. Link
 
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