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(Reuters)   Louisiana defends privatization of education, and by "privatization of education" they really mean sending your kid to Sunday School 5 days per week where she will learn to count to potato in a windowless church bunker   (reuters.com) divider line 46
    More: Asinine, Sunday School, parochial schools, superintendent of schools, private schools, buyer beware, religious education, online school  
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5283 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Jun 2012 at 9:30 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-03 10:24:13 AM
9 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Bible-based math? WTF does that even mean?


1. 12 Apostles had 36 apples. Each Apostle kept one, and gave one to Jesus. Jesus gave 3 apples to the poor. If Jesus had 9 apples left, how many gay people won't get into heaven?

2. The earth is 10,000 years old. How old was Methusaleh when he rode his last dinosaur?

3. Kenya is in Africa. How many miles away was Barack Hussein Obama born from the US??
2012-06-03 09:33:03 AM
6 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Other schools approved for state-funded vouchers use social studies texts warning that liberals threaten global prosperity; Bible-based math books that don't cover modern concepts such as set theory; and biology texts built around refuting evolution.

We really just need to let a state or two do this. In 20 years we can use them as an example to anyone else. "Sure, go right ahead, if you want to look like Louisiana."

I would love to see a bio text that refutes denies evolution; that's gotta be some grade-A comedy. Bible-based math? WTF does that even mean?


Five cubits plus two cubits equals Republican Jesus.
2012-06-03 08:53:12 AM
5 votes:
How else are we going to maintain profitability at our private prisons if we don't have a steady stream of raw materials?
2012-06-03 09:52:24 AM
4 votes:

beta_plus: Mrtraveler01: Weaver95: Mr. Coffee Nerves: How else are we going to maintain profitability at our private prisons if we don't have a steady stream of raw materials?

y'know...after Citzens United you would think that people would be terrified at the idea of letting a corporation with a strong financial motive to put ALL of us into a jail cell is running around essentially unregulated.

They can be like Florida and create for-profit charter schools run by corrupt real estate developers

Link

How much do they make the children have forced semen tasting tests compared to your precious unionized public schools?


Look, I'm sorry about what happened to you in Catholic school but this isn't the place to discuss that.
2012-06-03 10:34:32 AM
3 votes:

trotsky: Don't Troll Me Bro!: Other schools approved for state-funded vouchers use social studies texts warning that liberals threaten global prosperity; Bible-based math books that don't cover modern concepts such as set theory; and biology texts built around refuting evolution.

We really just need to let a state or two do this. In 20 years we can use them as an example to anyone else. "Sure, go right ahead, if you want to look like Louisiana."

I would love to see a bio text that refutes denies evolution; that's gotta be some grade-A comedy. Bible-based math? WTF does that even mean?

Five cubits plus two cubits equals Republican Jesus.


If Jack has ten daughters, he marries three of them off in exchange for a 400 cubits of land and six goats, and has one stoned in the street for being caught "knowing" her friend Susan a bit too well, how many daughters does he have left to offer as rapey sacrifices to appease an angry mob?
2012-06-03 10:00:38 AM
3 votes:
"Calculate x. Show your work."

"x = 3. God did it."
2012-06-03 09:49:53 AM
3 votes:
I am not reading a page formatted like that.

beta_plus: Awww, subby and Fark Libs are all butt hurt because those kids are going to learn how to read and they can't.


It's Sunday morning. Seriously. You're trolling an internet message board on, I'm assuming, a sunny Sunday morning.

Whether you get paid to do it or not, don't you ever sit back and wonder what went wrong in your life?
2012-06-03 09:42:52 AM
3 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Other schools approved for state-funded vouchers use social studies texts warning that liberals threaten global prosperity; Bible-based math books that don't cover modern concepts such as set theory; and biology texts built around refuting evolution.

We really just need to let a state or two do this. In 20 years we can use them as an example to anyone else. "Sure, go right ahead, if you want to look like Louisiana."

I would love to see a bio text that refutes denies evolution; that's gotta be some grade-A comedy. Bible-based math? WTF does that even mean?


Pi = 3.
2012-06-03 04:23:10 PM
2 votes:
...and don't get them started on Al-Gebra.
2012-06-03 02:52:03 PM
2 votes:

Salt Lick Steady: masterone41: Portia: masterone41: So which system wins the Spelling Bee every year?

its not the public one

Are spelling bee accomplishments the best measurement of overall academic performance of students?

lets check

Open to every one

No Government involvement

I say yes

Just... wha?


Best Part? WW is going to keep making alts...forever!
2012-06-03 02:19:25 PM
2 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Bible-based math? WTF does that even mean?



Judas stole 40 loaves of leavened bread. That's as much as four tens!
2012-06-03 01:58:23 PM
2 votes:
Destroying education in the state is one way to be sure they get a bumper crop of future republicans.
2012-06-03 12:47:32 PM
2 votes:

Cats_Lie: You can't force people to make the "right choice," which is what government does when it forces you to send your kid to a public school, learn that the gay lifestyle is normal, and that people descended from monkeys.


i.qkme.me
2012-06-03 11:19:26 AM
2 votes:
"We try to stay away from all those things that might confuse our children," Carrier said.

Critical thinking is bad for kids. The world needs ditch diggers too. I guess Louisiana is in competition with Kansas over who can produce the most serfs.
2012-06-03 10:30:31 AM
2 votes:
It used to be: It's Freshman Year - Jim is being put on the the college-prep track, Bill is being put on the industrial arts track.

Soon it will be: It's First Grade - Br*yed&n is going to Hedge Fund Academy, Bill is being "apprenticed" to a tannery.
2012-06-03 10:27:15 AM
2 votes:

hubiestubert: THIS IS AMURICA! SPEAK AMURICAN!


i.qkme.me
2012-06-03 10:08:01 AM
2 votes:
The way Biblefreaks mimic academic integrity has always reminded me of psychopaths practicing emotive facial expressions in a mirror. They know that in order to achieve their agenda they have to successfully imitate an entire dimension of human experience that they can never possibly understand. And no matter how convincing they can make it appear to a casual glance, one need only to scratch the surface to see what they really are.
2012-06-03 10:03:23 AM
2 votes:

0Icky0: The South will never rise again.


Every cloud has a silver lining.
2012-06-03 10:02:05 AM
2 votes:
The South will never rise again.
2012-06-03 10:00:00 AM
2 votes:
In an unrelated move, the Taliban™ will be opening a chain of girls schools in Louisiana in a gesture of accomodation to the republican profit incentive.
2012-06-03 09:47:21 AM
2 votes:
The school willing to accept the most voucher students -- 314 -- is New Living Word in Ruston, which has a top-ranked basketball team but no library. Students spend most of the day watching TVs in bare-bones classrooms. Each lesson consists of an instructional DVD that intersperses Biblical verses with subjects such chemistry or composition.

Chemistry done in biblical verses??? WTF??? They must have f*cked up the symbols of the Periodic Table.

"Tommy? What is the Periodic Table symbol for oxygen?"
"John 3:16, teacher."
"Very good, Tommy."
2012-06-04 04:29:31 AM
1 votes:

HighOnCraic: Hmm, education vouchers for private schools in the South. . . Where have I heard that idea before?

In 1956, the Virginia General Assembly passed a series of laws known as the Stanley plan to implement massive resistance. One of these laws created a program of "tuition grants" which could be given to students so they could attend a private school of their choice. In practice, this meant support of all-white schools that appeared as a response to forced integration, and these newly formed schools became known as the "segregation academies."

When faced with an order to integrate, Prince Edward County closed its entire school system in September 1959 rather than integrate. The county kept its entire school system closed until 1964. Many white students were able to get educated at the newly-created Prince Edward Academy, which operated as the de facto school system, enrolling K-12 students at a number of facilities throughout the county. Even after the re-opening of the public schools, the Academy remained segregated, losing its tax-exempt status in 1978.

Although on January 19, 1959, the Virginia Supreme Court of Appeals struck down the linchpin of the Massive Resistance laws, the one closing schools about to be integrated,[9] individual state tuition grants to parents allowed them to fund the segregation academies. It was not until 1964 that the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed Virginia's tuition grants to private education where the public schools had been closed, such as in Prince Edward County.[10]

Link


----------------------------

This can't be...the free market never does anything wrong!

All this voucher system stuff does is complicate the education system and loosen regulations. And while it is conservative mantra that all regulation is the devil, it is of utmost national importance that every child gets some level of basic education. Charters do nothing but make that standard much more difficult to enforce.
2012-06-03 07:51:56 PM
1 votes:

beta_plus: So you want parents to send their kids to forced semen ingestion schools without the right to send their kid to another school unless they can afford to move to your majority white suburban neighborhood. Got it, you racist anti-catholic anti-semite.


I'm Catholic. I can make those kind of jokes.

And no I don't want to force kids to go to Catholic school like you seem to be implying.
2012-06-03 06:30:36 PM
1 votes:

masterone41: the 5 Trillion Obama spent?


lol he spent over 6 trillion just visiting india in his spaceshhip
turn off communist news network and get educated
2012-06-03 06:28:39 PM
1 votes:

masterone41: don't you just like Liberal Fail? What else do you expect?


best phart

winterwile band

4eva
2012-06-03 04:21:45 PM
1 votes:
Christian math books don't acknowledge the concept of zero.
2012-06-03 03:55:23 PM
1 votes:

beta_plus: You mean that retarded idea that we got from Denmark and Sweden.


So since they are infallible guides to success, you support implementing the Swedish health care system and retirement plans as well? Or are you merely emptily spewing talking points because thinking is physically painful for you?
2012-06-03 01:39:11 PM
1 votes:
Let's see.............send tax money to private industry............sounds like Socialism to me. snicker.


Thomas Jefferson would be so proud of US!

and God will be so pleased too.


I won't think in your church
if you won't pray in my school.
2012-06-03 01:33:50 PM
1 votes:

Mentat: The Republican War on Education living a curious, interesting, pleasurable and un-ashamed life continues.

2012-06-03 01:29:20 PM
1 votes:
I can't believe this is the same state that so rabidly supported a firebrand populist libtard like Huey Long, and later folks like Edwin Edwards. Both of these men were/are severely flawed, but I'd take their brand of sleaze over Louisiana's (and national) trend of the poor voting Republican. Because this is the sort of privatized corruption and fundie assbaggery we'll continue to see as long as folks are voting for a flag pin instead of a sane idea.

As for my state, I apologize to America. At least we have New Orleans, which will always be one of quirkiest, most unique, and wildly social liberal cities in the country. Please consider us when making plans to nuke the state from orbit.
2012-06-03 01:22:55 PM
1 votes:

DubyaHater: fark it. I don't even care anymore. Less competition for my job in the future.


This. Continue producing retards, retards.
2012-06-03 01:19:30 PM
1 votes:
Private schools will best prepare young Louisianan's for their lives in private prisons.
2012-06-03 01:12:28 PM
1 votes:

proteus_b: Fart_Machine: Education Gap Grows Between Rich and Poor, Studies Say

I'm not claiming that that gap doesn't exist.


Bontesla: The educational gap also falls along socioeconomic status

Your reply: This, however, is not true.

Someone linked evidence supporting my comment. And now you're trying to explain that, "This, however, is not true" did not refer to the quoted comment.

proteus_ I'm claiming that middle-income blacks perform similarly to and worse than lower-income whites. Therefore income and wealth alone are not likely responsible for the black-white gap (I'm not talking about the rich-poor gap, nor denying its obvious existence). I'm also not really talking about the causes of this gap---merely pointing out its existence and nature.

You're doing more than that. You're also arguing that there isn't a legitimate reason for the achievement gap. You've said that you're letting them live in your country, they want to stay segregated, and that their integration is bad (because, "and so on").

When I pointed out that the achievement gap blacks experience when compared to whites is very similar to the achievement gaps experienced by many other groups holding a minority status - your response is, "But, but, but . . . I just want to talk about black people. I don't want to think about the other stuff."
2012-06-03 12:40:54 PM
1 votes:

proteus_b: Fart_Machine: So you believe everything magically got better after the Emancipation Proclamation was issued?

No, of course not, but I believe that black gender/low-income/other minority group performance has decline in the last half-century, despite the growing acceptance of blacks gender/low-income/other minority group in society (and their commensurate rise in average income).


This is the problem with your responses. You're singling out one minority group to prove your argument regarding that minority group. You're failing to take in consideration that other minority groups are facing the same problems

While I am in favor of integration

How generous of you . . .

and delighted that we have moved out of the stone age in regards to race relations, I am also reticent about the successes of integration.

Well, have you let the blacks know that you're okay with them living in your country?

But, seriously, let's talk about this. Functionally, do minority groups have the same access to resources (legal redress, education, career opportunity, and so on)? I'm not talking about equal language in the law. I'm talking about how laws are implemented. I'm talking about the actual function of society. Do minority groups have the same access?

The answer is no. So, if you're surprised that there's an educational gap then you're not paying attention.

Much of the black community, for better or worse, remains segregated.

Does White Flight ring a bell? No? Hmm. Gerrymandering? Ah. Perhaps you should, again, remind black people that you're tooooootally okay with them living in your country. That should encourage them to integrate further.

And the integration of a minority of blacks may have come at the expense of those who have not integrated

Wait - so blacks have successfully integrated (with your permission) yet remain segregated - but their integration is hurting others? Oh my goodness. You think black people are magic. This explains so much about your remaining comments.


---those living in environments with unwed parenthood approaching 90%,

You know what helps reduce the numbers of unwed parenthood? Access to adequate sex ed, birth control, and abortions. It's funny that you mention these things specifically because ALL of these things are currently being ruled back throughout the nation. But . . . you know . . . it's the blacks?

generational poverty and so on.

Really? And so on?

But let's talk about generational poverty. I'm not sure you've adequately expressed that you are personally okay with the blacks using your things. Perhaps if you just got the message out they would suddenly find adequate education to pull themselves out of poverty while gaining adequate access to sex ed, contraception, and abortion.

Furthermore, the ability of blacks to integrate

Do you mean assimilate?

(mostly, with some remnants of racism still present) into society as a whole allows any successful blacks which may emerge from these segregated communities to "leave" and join the happier, wealthier white America.

Again . . . have you told the magical black folk that live within your universe that you are okay with them using your things? Because . . . I think that would go really far . . .

Ffs.

encrypted-tbn2.google.com
2012-06-03 12:22:18 PM
1 votes:
This won't be spectacularly abused by accept-my-version-of-Jesus proselytizers, greed-is-good sociopaths, and straight-up grifters at all.
2012-06-03 12:04:54 PM
1 votes:

Rann Xerox: The school willing to accept the most voucher students -- 314 -- is New Living Word in Ruston, which has a top-ranked basketball team but no library. Students spend most of the day watching TVs in bare-bones classrooms. Each lesson consists of an instructional DVD that intersperses Biblical verses with subjects such chemistry or composition.

Chemistry done in biblical verses??? WTF??? They must have f*cked up the symbols of the Periodic Table.

"Tommy? What is the Periodic Table symbol for oxygen?"
"John 3:16, teacher."
"Very good, Tommy."


gOd
2012-06-03 11:05:40 AM
1 votes:

dababler: Are Republicans really against "set theory" in math!?


Anything that's "just a theory" doesn't belong in the Republican classroom, only facts, from the Bible (or other documents by the same author, eg the Constitution).
2012-06-03 10:35:28 AM
1 votes:

proteus_b: Serious Black: Actually, the best school systems in the world, including Finland and South Korea, offer absolutely no school choice and have completely public school systems. If we're supposed to learn lessons from what has been accomplished in other countries, school choice is not a lesson we should be learning.

Actually, Finland and South Korea have virtually no black people, so many of our problems are not actually represented in those systems.


Fark you.

Seriously, fark you.
2012-06-03 10:35:10 AM
1 votes:
Wait....you mean to say there are schools in Louisiana? As in right now?
2012-06-03 10:22:25 AM
1 votes:

Weaver95: Mrtraveler01:
But of course Conservatives wouldn't like that because it conflicts with their true goal of teaching children Conservative orthodoxy in public schools.

i'd at least like to know WHY conservatives believe private run education is better than public schools. what's the advantage of getting rid of the public school system?



Private schools have historically graduated better educated students than public schools. One reason is better finances, another is parents will spend money on a smart kid's education, but the main reason is the private system can choose their students. Public system can't do that.

/and no, vouchers will not give everyone a private-school education because if everyone is in the schools the schools won't have their edge anymore.

//i said schools too many times, it has no meaning anymore
2012-06-03 10:18:05 AM
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Why can't right-winger be honest and admit that this is nothing but an attempt to subsidize religious schools (as long as they're Christian of course)?

Hiding behind a term like "voucher" is a cowards way out.


I think this might be a great opportunity to open a Muslim school and demand vouches for it.
2012-06-03 10:04:57 AM
1 votes:

BitwiseShift: In an unrelated move, the Taliban™ will be opening a chain of girls schools in Louisiana in a gesture of accomodation to the republican profit incentive.


And the daily lunch menu will be...

Poison.
2012-06-03 10:02:14 AM
1 votes:
Privatization is fine so long as any institution receiving funds or counting as a school for the purposes of truancy law fulfills:

1. All of the requirements of the state curriculum.
2. Regulations regarding building codes (occupancy, utilities, etc).
3. In the case of receiving money, adherence to the restrictions on expenditure of federal and state money (relevant: separation of church and state, so no vouchers for priests)
4. Legal certification requirements for instructors.

Obviously we're talking Louisiana, the "all our government programs are actually money laundering schemes" state, so they're not going to enforce a single one of those provisions. But a theoretical state with competent administrators (literally anywhere but LA) could actually conceivably pull it off without many problems.

On a related note, congrats to every parish- and state-level official on their new tax-funded payday. Enjoy the free money with no strings attached, I look forward to all the priests in the state showing off their Italian convertibles next year.
2012-06-03 10:01:15 AM
1 votes:
At Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, pastor-turned-principal Marie Carrier hopes to secure extra space to enroll 135 voucher students, though she now has room for just a few dozen. Her first- through eighth-grade students sit in cubicles for much of the day and move at their own pace through Christian workbooks, such as a beginning science text that explains "what God made" on each of the six days of creation. They are not exposed to the theory of evolution.

"We try to stay away from all those things that might confuse our children," Carrier said.


Oh Jesus.
2012-06-03 09:45:16 AM
1 votes:
Dammit AMonkeysUncle
2012-06-03 09:44:06 AM
1 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Other schools approved for state-funded vouchers use social studies texts warning that liberals threaten global prosperity; Bible-based math books that don't cover modern concepts such as set theory; and biology texts built around refuting evolution.

We really just need to let a state or two do this. In 20 years we can use them as an example to anyone else. "Sure, go right ahead, if you want to look like Louisiana."

I would love to see a bio text that refutes denies evolution; that's gotta be some grade-A comedy. Bible-based math? WTF does that even mean?


Pi = 3
 
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