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(Shutterstock)   If you ever did win the lottery, would you give it away or surprise people with it in fun ways?   (image.shutterstock.com) divider line 202
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4270 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 5:37 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-03 12:59:16 AM

atlfarkette: Tell no one. Hire the best people to help me handle that amount of money. Hook up my family on the low down. Travel the planet.


Travel the planet would come after I bought a smallish house, a newish car, and went back to school for 3-5 masters and/or doctoral degrees.
 
2012-06-03 01:04:43 AM

Kingly Weevil: atlfarkette: Tell no one. Hire the best people to help me handle that amount of money. Hook up my family on the low down. Travel the planet.

Travel the planet would come after I bought a smallish house, a newish car, and went back to school for 3-5 masters and/or doctoral degrees.


Extensive travel and life experience is much more valuable than book learning.
 
2012-06-03 01:08:22 AM
This is the thing about winning the lottery:

1. Everybody in town will know about your recent fortune
2. People will come out of the woodwork
3. People you thought were friends will suddenly start acting differently
4. Your bank may find ways of pilfering your money
5. Or maybe your money just disappears because you put it in an offshore account
6. No matter what you do your family starts to hate you
6a. Because you helped your cousin but not your sister, or some other random family member
6b. Because suddenly "You've changed" which translates to, "I thought you were gonna take us out to eat more often and pay our mortgage."
 
2012-06-03 01:13:50 AM
Replace our older vehicle, pay off the house and the last student loan, go on a couple of nice trips, help out my parents and in-laws.

Outside of that, there are a couple of old friends I'd surprise with some extra funds to do some things they've always wanted.
 
2012-06-03 01:19:54 AM
Depends on what you mean by 'surprise' subby. If by 'surprise' its 'Buy missiles and launch towards people I hated' or 'Free TF for everybody for at least six months' then yeah.

But I would carefully help out with a few projects. For example, I'd definitely donate to a food bank. A guy I know is trying to get a website off the ground and can't exactly afford the bandwidth for his idea, so he's been asking for donations. I'd make the donation button disappear.
 
2012-06-03 01:22:04 AM

AbbeySomeone: Kingly Weevil: atlfarkette: Tell no one. Hire the best people to help me handle that amount of money. Hook up my family on the low down. Travel the planet.

Travel the planet would come after I bought a smallish house, a newish car, and went back to school for 3-5 masters and/or doctoral degrees.

Extensive travel and life experience is much more valuable than book learning.


I LIKE school.
 
2012-06-03 01:25:49 AM
two chicks at the same time.
 
2012-06-03 01:33:46 AM

AbbeySomeone: Kingly Weevil: atlfarkette: Tell no one. Hire the best people to help me handle that amount of money. Hook up my family on the low down. Travel the planet.

Travel the planet would come after I bought a smallish house, a newish car, and went back to school for 3-5 masters and/or doctoral degrees.

Extensive travel and life experience is much more valuable than book learning.


As somebody who's done way more of both than most people my age (and many much older than me), I would dispute that. Yes, traveling and immersing yourself in entirely different cultures and environments is informative and valuable, but the book learnin' I have gives me a much, much stronger framework for understanding the world when I travel in it. I enjoy the pretty things and the sense of 'being there' when I travel, but if you don't know the history, the Hill of Tara is just another big hill.
 
2012-06-03 02:02:40 AM
Give it away? that doesn't even make f*cking sense.
 
2012-06-03 02:04:28 AM
I wouldn't give a dime to charity or to any of my family. I'm spend it all lavishly and post threads about it.
 
2012-06-03 05:41:31 AM
I would invest half of it in low-risk mutual funds and take the rest to my cousin Abdullah who works in an investment bank
 
2012-06-03 05:48:43 AM
I'd pay off my student loans, then set myself up in a nice moderate size place, with a good dependable vehicle, which I would then immediately spend money and time to learn to drive. After that, tell each family member who has spoken to me sometime in the last 2-4 years that I'll pay off one of their debts of my choice, and if anyone complained about which debt got paid for who, they get nothing.

After that, it's stash a bunch away for retirement / future concerns (family growth, lawyers, etc), then take a nice trip somewhere. Don't know where, but somewhere off the North American continent.

After that, then I can spend my days learning all the things I never seem to have time for.
 
2012-06-03 05:48:53 AM
Tell no-one. Bank it. Retire and live modestly off the interest.

...in another country.
 
2012-06-03 05:50:14 AM
www.stevenhumour.com
 
2012-06-03 05:52:49 AM
Sailboat for me, something in the 45" range. Condo in Kauai. Mom retired to Phoenix. New car for my brother. No forwarding address for the rest.
 
2012-06-03 05:55:10 AM
25 million or so? I'd probably stay as anonymous as possible, put most of it in a blind trust and help out family and friends.
Also, lots of travel (I'd buy a good sized live-aboard) and plenty of charity work.
However, if I somehow ended up with billions...
 
2012-06-03 05:59:38 AM
This might sound really boring, but I'd invest any large winnings in T-Bills, and supplement my current income with 50-80% of the interest adding the extra interest back into the principle. I'd lock that cash up so I couldn't pull it out if I tried. Living comfortably indefinitely in my mind is better than living well forever. When I die, I'd have it rolled into an endowment for a charity I believe in.
 
2012-06-03 06:01:57 AM
Yeah. After I'd set aside enouhg to comfortably live out my days, I'd make sure my few friends were well rewarded for putting up with my shiat all these years. The rest I'd divvy up into $$$$ sized chunks and distribute to charities.
 
2012-06-03 06:06:42 AM

jaylectricity: This is the thing about winning the lottery:

1. Everybody in town will know about your recent fortune


I always thought that, given a sufficiently large lottery (meaning "large enough to care about this kind of thing happening"), the first step was to hire a lawyer to claim the money for you.
 
2012-06-03 06:11:00 AM

atlfarkette: Tell no one. Hire the best people to help me handle that amount of money. Hook up my family on the low down. Travel the planet.


Yeah, when the wife and I have our lottery fantasies a key point is to not tell anyone. Too many horror stories about how winners are harassed.
 
2012-06-03 06:11:14 AM
My friends/family would find themselves on a few nice trips... (Skiing, Vegas, maybe)...
Might set some aside for niece and nephew. After that, most gets invested in SOMEthing with decent return... Reasonable, comfortable house. Then I build a science center if I can justify the city could support it after a large cash infusion is made to get it started.
 
2012-06-03 06:11:59 AM
It depends how much the after tax cash option turned out to be, but 80% in a conservative diversified portfolio of investments, 10% to buy stuff and have fun, and 10% to give away to friends, family and charities. I know allot of people who have been hurt very bad by this economy and/or health issues. I would love to be able to give them a big chunk of money. I know it won't solve medical issues, but it will pay the existing bills, and pay for the medical care they really need.

As for charities, I would give to charities that would use it locally. Seed money for start up businesses, training for displaced workers, shelters for abused women, that kind of thing.
 
2012-06-03 06:17:05 AM
Pay off my and my family's depts.
Buy my parents a house in Hawai'i.
Donate $50k a year to Child's Play.
Finance an animated movie of the book Boneshaker.
Hire a swordmaster to teach me many different styles of sword fighting.
Buy a fair trade chocolate company.
 
2012-06-03 06:18:51 AM

Mr. Murder: I wouldn't give a dime to charity or to any of my family. I'm spend it all lavishly and post threads about it.


So your goal is to see how many Fark threads are started about how farked up you are?

Sure blowing a fortune on hookers and blow might be fun for awhile, but you'd think skanky whores and being wasted would get old after awhile.

/FYI: it only counts if it makes the front page
 
2012-06-03 06:18:58 AM
Give it away?

What are you, high subby?

Hell no I wouldn't give it away. If it was really so much money I might buy 3 friends new cars - After I bought a new car for myself.

I even have a good idea of what cars to get for them - one has a Mercedes - it's 10 years old and a piece of crap, but just for kicks I'd buy him the most bad ass Mercedes I could find. One has a 280 ZX. So naturally I'd buy him the latest and greatest Nissan. The other guy drives a farking truck - not sure what he gets - maybe an '84 Suburban just to fark with him.

Then I'd buy an awful lot of pot and stay stoned forever.
 
2012-06-03 06:20:04 AM
would you give it away

I would give it away in small to medium sized increments, at random locations around the world, in exchange for goods and services.
 
2012-06-03 06:20:18 AM
I'd hire the best hitmen money can afford, then have them bump off all the people who wronged me in the slightest way.

//present company excepted, of course.
 
2012-06-03 06:21:16 AM
Hitmen are very surprising, and require that sort of cash.
 
2012-06-03 06:21:34 AM

atlfarkette: Hook up my family on the low down.


You're going to hook your family up with secret black gay sex?
 
2012-06-03 06:22:45 AM
I'd pay off the tiny amount left on my father's house, buy a house for my little brother and (depending on how much I won), I'd quit my job and, while I'd like to think I'd find something to do, I'd probably just keep being a hermit like always while my money moldered in a bank. Very exciting.

When I died, if my little brother were still alive, he'd get all of it, and if not, the remaining money would go to charity.
 
2012-06-03 06:27:23 AM
1) Buy about two thousand acres of land in Montana.
2) Build a 4 bed/bath log cabin.
3) Pay off my debt/parents debt
4) Pay a hooker to move in with me.
5) Never get marrried.
6) Die screaming get off my lawn you young whipper snappers.
 
2012-06-03 06:28:29 AM
I'm sure I would do some traveling and a bit of laying about, but I would probably become a professional student. I could stand to have a few doctorates.

I would pay off student loans and Mom's mortgage, create trusts for friends' kids, set up a fund for a summer camp I love, give a large chunk to several charities, arrange to meet and worship at the feet of a few female celebrities, and build a cabin where I could go to write novels.

This is all assuming that I won one of those ridiculous SuperMegaPowerBall sums of money. A friend of mine won $1 million a few years ago and took the $700k lump sum. She paid off her house and bought a new truck, took a trip and then came back to work the next week. $1 million ain't what it used to be, but $300 million is still solid walking around money.
 
2012-06-03 06:36:06 AM
I would while away my days throwing canned food at pigeons in the park.

just like now
 
2012-06-03 06:39:56 AM
I think I'd buy a few senators and have them push legislation that would require everyone to go barefoot on Thursdays, or something equally odd. Mostly to show how broken the system is and hopefully change things for the better.
And for the lulz.
 
2012-06-03 06:41:03 AM

Team Nemesis: 1) Buy about two thousand acres of land in Montana.
2) Build a 4 bed/bath log cabin.
3) Pay off my debt/parents debt
4) Pay a hooker to move in with me.
5) Never get marrried.
6) Die screaming get off my lawn you young whipper snappers.


Why not buy an ex missile silo and build a Zombie proof fortress?

And how often do you think you'd rotate hos? A woman is a woman, and their shiat eventually will get old.
 
2012-06-03 06:41:43 AM
Aside from the obvious of keeping it quiet, hiring a good attorney and accountant, helping out people I give a shiat about, getting TF, some classic cars, fund my niece's education, nice place on Lake Michigan, etc. I'd buy a business and employ people, structuring it so it doesn't drain me, but I can be a decent boss. Leave a tip for at least double the bill. Also, just do little things like paying for people's grocery bills when their debit card goes tits up, pay the whole bar's tab for the night with a generous tip, shiat like that.

Oh, and the Million Dollar Demolition Derby.
 
2012-06-03 06:43:20 AM
Pay off my debts and those of my family. Buy huge contiguous tracts of land to build my dream ranch onto. Invest some of the money into various things.
As a charitable item I would help an American clothing manufacturer stay in business
 
2012-06-03 06:46:49 AM
I have a very large family, and I expect most of them would never speak to me again, if I won the Lottery. Why? Because - aside from paying for my dad's hospice care and helping out a couple of siblings who aren't completely horrible, my family wouldn't see a dime from me. My wife and I would buy a nice piece of land, build a great house there, get some horses and put the rest in the most secure investments possible. The point for me wouldn't be to increase my wealth, but to have plenty of interest to live on, and to forget about the majority of the money.

In short, I'd live in a nicer house, but otherwise wouldn't live like a rich person. I'd even stay in my job, at least for another 20 years or so until I retire. I don't need a lot of money to be happy, my life isn't defined by the things I own, so the Lottery would simply make my life more financially secure.
 
2012-06-03 06:51:28 AM
I'd spend 10 million $$$ at myfreecams (it's like 1000 simultaneous sexy portals around the world, just found out about that whole thing so I'm fascinated). Find a way to track how the money was spent just out of curiosity.

Travel. Fund solar power projects in the most polluted parts of the world. Hire midget ninjas to sneak punch old bosses and jerks i don't like in the nuts. Eat a fresh coconut crab (see amelia earhart thread). Start a TV network consisting of Asian style gameshows where people do crazy things for money. Build tall multipurpose self sustainable buildings in my favorite cities for me to live at the top of. Hooker pyramids.
 
2012-06-03 06:52:00 AM
The first thing I'd do to find a reputable money manager, a dozen bodyguards, and squirrel some hard currency away in some safe deposit boxes à la W.C. Fields.

Get some decent health care going for myself. Whole nine yards. It might be fun to try to live to 100+.

No organized charities except for my local Salvation Army. I'd try to take care of needy families in my area, and challenge other rich people to do the same (if you're going to live like a king, the first thing you do is take care of the peasants). And some folks do perfectly well if you put some money in their hands yourself and you tell them not to spend it all in one place.

A young wife and fathering some children might be nice.

I have an ex girlfriend who would make a wonderful majordomo. She has great person skills, is computer literate, and is bubbly enough to make me smile under most circumstance (under other circumstances, she can flash her big tits at me).
 
2012-06-03 06:54:26 AM
Oh, there was one thing I would do though, that would be a bit irresponsible. When I was a kid in the 80's playing D&D with my friends, we used to talk about how cool it would be if some rich guy gave us a bunch of money. So I'd drop by my local gaming store one day, find some young person who was interested in creating roleplaying games, and drop them a check for $100,000. I would do this at random, once a year, each time choosing a different gaming store.

No strings attached, just a grant to someone who loves pen and paper roleplaying, and wants to work towards seeing the hobby continue in the future. That would be kinda awesome.
 
2012-06-03 07:01:19 AM
state law would probably see half the after-tax go to my soon to be ex-wife. the other half would be spent on a glorious party celebrating freedom, a/k/a the beauty of divorce.
 
2012-06-03 07:06:37 AM
I would arrange yearly payouts to myself that gradually increased in size. Starting off at about half my current income and calculated to last my lifetime.

This way I would have something to look forward to. Each year I could decide to spend, save or give. I could learn from earlier years mistakes.
 
2012-06-03 07:09:11 AM
I would set up a foundation like Michael Scott's "Scott's Tots", but I would likely blow through all the money by the time they graduated. So they'd probably end up with laptop batteries as well.
 
2012-06-03 07:11:15 AM
not while there's still hookers and luxury goods to buy
 
2012-06-03 07:13:25 AM
Things you must do right away upon winning the lottery:

- Change your phone number(s) IMMEDIATELY
- Find a competent financial advisor (and lawyer if necessary)
- Inform the lottery folks NOT to release any more info about you than they legally must
- KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT about winning
- Pay your bills off first
- Create a budget and STICK TO IT

And maybe the most important thing of all:
- Learn how to say NO without feeling guilty
 
2012-06-03 07:14:55 AM
i'd have a friend rent a crappy place for me for 2 years. i'd move out of the house i'm renting now into the new place. now i'd claim the ticket using my original address and any beggars looking for me will find a empty house. i'd travel the world and look for undiscovered places to buy a little vacation home or 3. friends and relatives who asked for money i would them them this. you may ask me only once for money. decide on a money amount and if i agree i will give it to you.
 
2012-06-03 07:22:37 AM
You know those really fat people on welfare who everyone hates?

I'd pick a handful of them each year, and offer to pay for bariatric surgery, cosmetic surgery to get rid of their excess skin, psychiatric treatment, since I'm sure most of them suffer serious mental health issues, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a college education. Basically, I'd give them a real fighting chance at a new life.

I'd also buy a yacht, but since we're talking one of the $100 million plus megajackpots here, I wouldn't need to hire hookers. Chicks would do me for free. Oh yeah, and I'd also have sex with two chicks at once.
 
2012-06-03 07:24:54 AM
Well, there's this four-slice toaster I've had my eye on ...

lh5.googleusercontent.com

Ummmm - toast!
 
Pav
2012-06-03 07:26:37 AM
I would buy some rare stamps and use them to mail a letter to some unscrupulous lawyers.
 
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