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(Shutterstock)   If you ever did win the lottery, would you give it away or surprise people with it in fun ways?   (image.shutterstock.com) divider line 202
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4263 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 5:37 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-03 10:59:15 AM
jaylectricity: This is the thing about winning the lottery:

1. Everybody in town will know about your recent fortune
2. People will come out of the woodwork
3. People you thought were friends will suddenly start acting differently
4. Your bank may find ways of pilfering your money
5. Or maybe your money just disappears because you put it in an offshore account
6. No matter what you do your family starts to hate you
6a. Because you helped your cousin but not your sister, or some other random family member
6b. Because suddenly "You've changed" which translates to, "I thought you were gonna take us out to eat more often and pay our mortgage."


7) if you are a male every woman that you ever had sex with who has a kid is gonna claim that you are the baby daddy, even if you farked her 15 years ago and she has a 5 year old. Even if you 2 are both white and the baby is blacker than the Ace of Spades.

Anyways if I was suddenly rich (like 100+ mil PB/MM) the maybe 10 or so sets of relatives and friends (I'd consider a husband/wife & their kids 1 set) that I'm actually close with I'd probably hook up with some money. (pay off their mortgage and set up a college fund for the kids)

Anyone that I see about as often as family reunions, weddings, and funerals I would not bother to piss on if they was on fire. You didn't care about me when I was poor why should I care about you now that I'm rich, biatch.

I'd also pay someone who looks enough like me that someone who might have seen me at a family reunion 5 years ago or might have seen my Facebook profile pic would be fooled, just to listen to distant relatives, old used to be friends, and scammers come and beg for money just to tell them no.
 
2012-06-03 11:07:56 AM

lordargent: Impending Broom: and took the $700k lump sum.

And the feds and state took their cut, leaving her with $388k, YMMV depending on the state.

// unless the $700k lump sum already had the tax taken out (I doubt it).

// $388k won't even buy a decent 2BR house in a decent hood in this state (but at least now they're closer to the 400k mark than the 700k mark they were at during the real estate boom).


If you're willing to play the long game, you could use the $338K to make a huge down payment on a nice home, and then once the mortgage is paid off, you'll have a large chunk of extra change (for me, it would be about $2,000) at the end of every month. Save, invest, or spend frivolously as desired.
 
2012-06-03 11:14:22 AM
You know when you're eating pistachios and you get one where the shell hasn't opened? I'd throw those away.
 
2012-06-03 11:19:49 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: HaywoodJablonski: New clubs, extensive golf lessons, new golf gear and plans to play all the iconic golf courses in the world.

Oh and help my family and poor people and shiat

would u buy me a 1000 w microwave?
my 800 w takes 1 minute too long to make the meals


Consider it done
 
2012-06-03 11:23:06 AM
1) Hire a security company van in thirty different states
2) Go to randomly preselected voting precincts on polling day
3) Award $100 to three different voters coming out of polling station. Repeat until money is gone
4) Film the whole thing, for security and eventual viral video
5) LACK OF PROFIT!
 
2012-06-03 11:38:08 AM
If I had won the big jackpot a few months back, I was going to buy every house in my cul-de-sac and move all my friends into them. We would have torn down all the fences and built a bike/scooter track for all of the kids. The house on the corner, the one with the pool, would remain unoccupied so that it could be our clubhouse. A gate would have been installed at the entrance to the street. We would all have new cars and new furniture and solar panels on our roofs. It would have been the ultimate geek compound. I even picked out which houses would go to which family.

The crowning glory: the two worst houses would have gone to the ex wives of two of the friends. Not because I like them, but because it would have been better for the kids. And their houses would be positioned where the ex husbands couldn't just look out the front door and spy on them.
 
2012-06-03 11:56:07 AM
Well, I'd be able to purchase a better quality beer than the swill I drink now plus the Cherokee Village, Arkansas, Animal Shelter would get one got ham big contribution & we'd set up a free spay/neuter clinic. I do love the state & (most of) the people (been here 6+ years now) but Arkies aren't very good to their animals.
 
2012-06-03 12:16:03 PM
I would SO do fun things with it like buy enough expensive Godiva chocolate to fill my mother's car, which is also new, in her garage and wrap a bow around it.

Take a picture of a ski boat, email it to my dad, and give him the first clue of a scavenger hunt to find it.

Toss 20K into a college fund for my niece (who is two now) and tell her every semester she gets straight A's I'll give her another grand, A's and B's $500, etc

Buy a house in Spain and let my loved ones vacation in it for free (they have to buy own airfare)

I might even go as far as to buy enough bubble wrap to fill my nerdy brother in law's office with.

Yup, I could have fun :)
 
2012-06-03 12:16:47 PM
World Series of Poker........like a freeroll.........and yes, even Razz.....

Sponsor a water irrigation project in Africa........

A nice house......

And live off the interest......

Relatives? What am I, stupid, no farking way.....
 
2012-06-03 12:17:36 PM
Clean Slate Party for family and friends. Bring records of all your debts and we'll pay them.

What's left goes to the care of a team of financial advisors and we live off of the interest.
 
2012-06-03 12:19:43 PM

kiwimoogle84: I would SO do fun things with it like buy enough expensive Godiva chocolate to fill my mother's car, which is also new, in her garage and wrap a bow around it.


That's horrible. Buy your mother a car and ruin the upholstery. I think a monthly delivery of fresh chocolates would be a better idea.
 
2012-06-03 12:22:57 PM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: I would SO do fun things with it like buy enough expensive Godiva chocolate to fill my mother's car, which is also new, in her garage and wrap a bow around it.

That's horrible. Buy your mother a car and ruin the upholstery. I think a monthly delivery of fresh chocolates would be a better idea.


Maybe I'd just fill it with empty boxes and tell her it represents a lifetime supply coming her way.

Besides, I'd do it in winter, and in the packaging, so it wouldn't melt and make a mess. I'm practical. :)
 
2012-06-03 12:23:51 PM

MadUncleEoin: Clean Slate Party for family and friends. Bring records of all your debts and we'll pay them.

What's left goes to the care of a team of financial advisors and we live off of the interest.


I like that. I could see myself doing that.

Have you ever read The Testament by Grisham? Deals with that very idea.
 
2012-06-03 12:27:44 PM

kiwimoogle84: MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: I would SO do fun things with it like buy enough expensive Godiva chocolate to fill my mother's car, which is also new, in her garage and wrap a bow around it.

That's horrible. Buy your mother a car and ruin the upholstery. I think a monthly delivery of fresh chocolates would be a better idea.

Maybe I'd just fill it with empty boxes and tell her it represents a lifetime supply coming her way.

Besides, I'd do it in winter, and in the packaging, so it wouldn't melt and make a mess. I'm practical. :)


Packaging or not, no one likes squishy chocolate. But yes, a car load of chocolate in the winter is much more practical.
 
2012-06-03 12:29:30 PM
Depends on how much I won, but, after I pay off my credit cards, debts, medical bills, etc., I'd give away the rest like Jack Nicholson's Joker did in Batman.

\ Minus the Joker Gas-filled balloons, of course. :P
 
2012-06-03 12:35:36 PM
Captain Steroid: Depends on how much I won, but, after I pay off my credit cards, debts, medical bills, etc., I'd give away the rest like Jack Nicholson's Joker did in Batman.

\ Minus the Joker Gas-filled balloons, of course. :P


But what fun is it without the Joker Gas filled balloon?

/why so srs
 
2012-06-03 12:38:15 PM

atlfarkette: Tell no one. Hire the best people to help me handle that amount of money. Hook up my family on the low down. Travel the planet.


THIS
Plus I already have a written action plan ready-to-go.
 
2012-06-03 12:39:19 PM

shanrick: two chicks at the same time.


THIS
 
2012-06-03 12:46:01 PM

Team Nemesis: 1) Buy about two thousand acres of land in Montana.
2) Build a 4 bed/bath log cabin.
3) Pay off my debt/parents debt
4) Pay a hooker to move in with me.
5) Never get marrried.
6) Die screaming get off my lawn you young whipper snappers.


2,000 acres. That's a huge lawn, dude--you're gonna need a megaphone.
 
2012-06-03 12:50:38 PM
Team Nemesis: 1) Buy about two thousand acres of land in Montana.
2) Build a 4 bed/bath log cabin.
3) Pay off my debt/parents debt
4) Pay a hooker to move in with me.
5) Never get marrried.
6) Die screaming get off my lawn you young whipper snappers.


Just make sure whatever state you are in(whether its actually MT or that is just a 1st flyover state to pop into your mind answer) doesn't recognise common law marriage, otherwise you will find yourself "married" to said hooker that is living with you with no prenup
 
2012-06-03 12:56:19 PM

Oldiron_79: Team Nemesis: 1) Buy about two thousand acres of land in Montana.
2) Build a 4 bed/bath log cabin.
3) Pay off my debt/parents debt
4) Pay a hooker to move in with me.
5) Never get marrried.
6) Die screaming get off my lawn you young whipper snappers.

Just make sure whatever state you are in(whether its actually MT or that is just a 1st flyover state to pop into your mind answer) doesn't recognise common law marriage, otherwise you will find yourself "married" to said hooker that is living with you with no prenup


Don't be ridiculous. He'll change them out for younger, hotter ones every year. Problem solved.
 
2012-06-03 12:57:11 PM
kiwimoogle84: Oldiron_79: Team Nemesis: 1) Buy about two thousand acres of land in Montana.
2) Build a 4 bed/bath log cabin.
3) Pay off my debt/parents debt
4) Pay a hooker to move in with me.
5) Never get marrried.
6) Die screaming get off my lawn you young whipper snappers.

Just make sure whatever state you are in(whether its actually MT or that is just a 1st flyover state to pop into your mind answer) doesn't recognise common law marriage, otherwise you will find yourself "married" to said hooker that is living with you with no prenup

Don't be ridiculous. He'll change them out for younger, hotter ones every year. Problem solved.


True dat
 
2012-06-03 01:01:04 PM
I'd give about $100,000 to a handful of good friends and tell them to pay off any debts they may have or put a down payment on a house. Of course I would then tell them don't expect anymore (though I might give in if they find themselves In dire straights. ). I would buy a modest house, invest half Of what remains and travel the world with the other half. My family would get none unless they really needed it though I would give sOme to my sister and husband that they could put towards their kids education/ future. Of course I would list my family in my will but otherwise meh.
 
2012-06-03 01:17:56 PM
One simple rule, and I'd announce to everybody: I'm gonna give a LOT of this money away, but only to those people and charities that don't come asking for it.
 
2012-06-03 01:32:58 PM
1. Fix my car, not buy a new one (new transmission, some body work, new paint)
2. Pay off my mortgage (1 year down, 29 to go)
3. Pay off my mother's horrible medical bills--she has degenerative spinal disease
4. Pay off my sister-in-law's mortgage and set up a college fund for her two kids--she and her husband adopted them from a woman who was more interested in meth and whoring than being a mom. My kids have a college fund due to my coont grandmother dying and leaving them each $20,000.
5.Put a lot of money away in sound, long-term investments
6. Remodel my kitchen and two bathrooms
7. Take a real family vacation. One where we get to see and do what we want, not what the budget allows. I am thinking Washington DC--Smithsonian and the sights, then. . .who knows?
 
2012-06-03 01:34:42 PM
yes I would surprise people by disappearing from public view. Secretly I'd be taking the boyfriend on awesome trips and buying him kewl stuff. Because the ex-wife hungers for his $$$ and she ain't takin' mine (my hypothetical lottery winnings that is).
 
2012-06-03 01:56:07 PM

ursomniac: 1) Set up trust funds for all the nieces/nephews for education (with a liberal definition of "education", i.e., "I want to wander around Europe for a year" is IMHO likely to be educational);

2) Get parents into a nice retirement condo where they don't have to worry about a THING;

3) Start working on a design for the perfect (for us) house (will include a greenhouse, observatory, bowling alley);

4) Set up a foundation to do cool things;

5) Totally make life absolutely MISERABLE for every person associated with NOM: first, hire a team who will very visibly and thoroughly refute anything any of them says; second, match $ for $ every donation they get and use the aforementioned team to actively promote whoever is running against their preferred candidates with complete media blitzes. Basically any time that Maggie Srivastav (nee Gallagher) or Brian Brown open their mouths there WILL be a fact-checking team and refutation press release.


If I won the lottery, I'd help you make #5 happen.
I'd also buy all the land that Westboro Baptist Church owns, kick all those assholes off, and turn the church into a Planned Parenthood by day/ Gay disco at night.
 
2012-06-03 01:57:08 PM

Roook: I know a couple people I'd love to walk up and give a $10,000 check to


... to "dispose" of someone else.
 
2012-06-03 01:57:11 PM
I would pay off my mother's debts because I owe her everything in my life. She took care of my special needs sister and me by herself without a complaint. Build a house with a mother in law apartment in the rear for my sister to live in and a HUGE library, commercial kitchen, and a bathroom that would make the Queen of Sheba jealous.

I would help out my father because he's tried to be a part of my son's life where he wasn't a part of mine very much.

And then I would travel the world and stay away from the farking tourist traps. Because if one is going to travel, you should at least learn what the culture is really like.
 
2012-06-03 02:25:39 PM
Pay off all my debts. Pay off all parent's and sibling's debts. Improve my house, buy a Range Rover and an Aston Martin. Create a foundation in my sister's memory that would support local charities that are run by volunteers. A couple of million dollars could make a huge difference for people living in our rural, mountainous region of hard working, but poor people. I would travel, but more to see the breathtaking places in the world than stay in a 4 star, ritzy hotel. Live well, but relatively simple.
 
2012-06-03 02:49:40 PM
I day dream about this on a daily basis and have plans for each "amount" of money I'd win.

So, it truly depends on how much money I won. Let's say its the current NY Powerball, $163million. Half of that goes to taxes right away. I'd give probably $5million to my my fave coworker because he's incredibly awesome, and we totally handshaked the "what if we won" scenerio that we'd take care of each other.

I'd set up college funds for all of my little cousins and all of my close friends who have kids, so that their children never have to worry about college.

And I'd rent out a hotel in Jamaica for a week long paid vacation for about 100 of my other friends (I have a lot of friends - many of whom partake in the greenery).

With the rest I'd start my own real estate business, and probably take said coworker along with me. We have a great working relationship, me on the business side and him on the construction side. When I "grow up" I want to be a landlord. I really like my job, I'd continue to do it in some way.

I'd also do a revitalizing campaign for my current neighborhood in Queens. It really has a lot of potential, it just needs a little push in the right direction. I'd also donate to the local schools and elderly care service.
 
2012-06-03 02:57:42 PM
anfrind: If you're willing to play the long game, you could use the $338K to make a huge down payment on a nice home,

That's the plan, I've already paid off a condo, a house is the next logical step.

// didn't win the lottery

// won on the stock market

// but not a million
 
2012-06-03 03:55:23 PM
I'd be super selfish and do everything I could to laugh at all the poor suckers around me.
 
2012-06-03 04:00:48 PM
I'd buy a church and bulldoze it.
 
2012-06-03 04:16:17 PM
Would 'surprising people in fun ways" include having violent ex-cons beat the living crap out of that skinny little shiate who abused his authority at every turn as an instructor in the military?
 
2012-06-03 04:16:44 PM
Neither.
 
2012-06-03 04:17:49 PM

davemchine: Sailboat for me, something in the 45" range. Condo in Kauai. Mom retired to Phoenix. New car for my brother. No forwarding address for the rest.


A 45-inch sailboat? o__O
 
KIA
2012-06-03 04:18:42 PM
1) Repurchase rights to all of the photos and movies I had to make when I was young and needed the money.
2) Check laws regarding "palimony" and common-law marriage; avoid all jurisdictions where this exists
3) Buy island, populate with searing hotties
4) Establish the Bene Gesserit
5) Begin working toward the Kwisatz Haderach

/ kidding about #1
// or am I?
/// totally
 
2012-06-03 04:20:18 PM
Assuming I win a real prize of over a million,

The Plan:

Tell no one immediately. Sit on the ticket for 3 to 6 months. When no one is interested, claim the ticket using the lowest-profile/hardest-to-trace method that I will have located while waiting for things to cool down.

Fix up any stray issues with the car. Stem-to-stern checking and refitting where needed. It still works, so why do I need a new one?

Get all the house repairs done. Tell the neighbors that I won a prize that is enough to fix the house, since repairs on that scale cannot be done invisibly. Strictly true, it will cover fixing the house, I just won't mention that there is much more.

Start an at-home business of a highly technical nature, mention it to the neighbors and others. Run the business at just enough to be a business for legal/tax purposes and people will assume any signs of excess income are from that. (Many technical businesses do not require customers on-site, so no complaints about visitors or suspicions about lack of same.) I can also use such minimal income as this produces to pay on the last repair bills so I can honestly say that I finished the repairs with the business income, people will assume there is no money left to mooch from the previously-mentioned prize.

Bail out my one relative who has been working to get out of a financial hole caused by a combination of the economy and a run of bad luck worthy of Schleprock. She has borrowed money in the past, and paid it back, she rates helping out.

Beyond that, maybe the odd bit of help for friends who get into a financial knot due to bad luck or other problems of a non-self-inflicted nature. The business would be a great way to justify having a bit of spare money at convenient moments.

Mostly I'd live a slightly-upgraded version of my existing lifestyle, buying fancier toys, (I'm known for taking broken things and making them work, thus questions are unlikely), taking a few extra weekend trips a year, things like that. The big thing would be the security that the money would provide.
 
2012-06-03 04:26:06 PM
m0lissa: davemchine: Sailboat for me, something in the 45" range. Condo in Kauai. Mom retired to Phoenix. New car for my brother. No forwarding address for the rest.

A 45-inch sailboat? o__O


Party Foul for not having stonhenge pic
 
2012-06-03 04:33:17 PM

Oldiron_79: m0lissa: davemchine: Sailboat for me, something in the 45" range. Condo in Kauai. Mom retired to Phoenix. New car for my brother. No forwarding address for the rest.

A 45-inch sailboat? o__O

Party Foul for not having stonhenge pic


lostintegrity.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-03 04:46:42 PM
I plan on paying a lot of random people's dinner bills and leaving insane tips for great service.
that, and renting a helicopter, flying over providence, dropping a bunch of various denominations of bills out the window, and watching all the little ants fight.
just because i'm suddenly rich, it doesn't mean I have to give up being an asshole...
 
2012-06-03 05:00:23 PM
Depends on how much, obviously. First thing is hire the professionals necessary to help us take care of it (lawyer, financial someone, etc). We'd pay off our debts, help siblings/parents/best friends with mortgages and set half the rest in a fund for our boys. The other half goes into an acct that'll earn interest that we can live on (ideally) and travel. Whenever we're not traveling (I'm a gardener, so need to be home sometimes for that) and have some adding up in the account, that goes to charities - small, local ones that need it the most.

My garden... would be epic.
 
2012-06-03 05:04:25 PM
I'd find the people that have greatly wronged me over the years, buy the house on either side of them and fill them with homeless crackheads and drunks.
 
2012-06-03 05:21:24 PM
OH! And I'd set up a fund for one of my friends whose 3 month old daughter has had seizures since the day she was born.
 
2012-06-03 06:00:50 PM
Stem Cell Research.
 
2012-06-04 12:33:48 AM
I'd help out a tremendous amount of people. I don't think about all the cool things I could buy when I fantasize about winning the lottery. I think of all the people I could help. I'd be the right person to win the lottery. I wouldn't be one of these failures of humanity who squander it all and end up back on food stamps in two years.
 
2012-06-04 02:38:27 AM
Everybody keeps saying they'll invest the money in stocks and bonds, but no one seems to get the fact that they can keep making more of those, and that getting your money out of them in times of need isn't always easy. Anywho, my list:

1- quit work - I like the job, but I want to have a real life at some point.
2.a- finish college ... again - in the process of getting 2 engineering degrees, so I might have some use for the time not working will free up.
2.b- Get out of this damn apartment and into a relatively nice house; small, but nice.
2.b.1- fix up the hell out of said new house - the neighborhood I'm thinking of is low crime and I could make the place look nice without too much trouble.
2.b.2- trick the fark out of the inside of said house - new kitchen, bathrooms, a shower I don't have to duck into to use, wall-screen TVs, a la Fahrenheit 451, and a cray computer as my personal PC with a T1 all to myself.
2.b.c- Solar panel roofing, contracting with a friend I know who does that stuff. He's also in charge of the interior design, artist that he is. End result is a self-supporting, environmentally friendly house.
2.c- same artistically inclined friend then gets a tutoring session or twenty with the poker brat, so he can learn to actually play poker - they have the same playing style
2.d- pay off all loans and debts, my own and immediate family's. Set up college fund for brothers' kids - enough so they can emulate my sister and go to stanford ... if they so choose.
2.e- hire tutors to ensure I understand and apply, in entirety, all the information from all the courses I'm taking in college.
3.- after degrees are handed out, turn on the lights to the lab I've built in the sub-basement of my new house, accessible only by elevator, past the city's underground network of utilities and pipes.
4.- make stuff. Real stuff that helps people. None of this trinket-consumer crap.
5.- produce said stuff in states(inside the US, that is) that need the tax revenue/jobs
6.- change the world
7.- buy an arseload of land as my investment. They aren't making any more.
8.- finance the downfall of every corrupt politician(yes, I know: there wouldn't be anyone left to govern)
9.- run for President, unopposed ... no one left to run against, right?
10.- impose manifest destiny on all corrupt corporations still running inside the US, execute their alphabet soup leaders, take over the operations, and rule the world.

/it's the little things
 
2012-06-04 02:42:07 AM
would have been funnier if I's said "2.b.d", but whatever ... "2.b.3", whoops
 
2012-06-04 10:02:32 AM
I would give some big checks to family and friends that would come with a contract that they had to sign first that says:

This is a ONE TIME ONLY DEAL

I don't care if you made a bad investment, married a woman with 15 kids, got drunk in Vegas or are on the verge of homelessness, if you agree to take this money today, you must swear that you will NEVER contact me to ask for money for the rest of your life. If you break this agreement and ask me for money in the future, you will owe me the entire amount of the original gift plus interest.

sign here X ____________________________________
 
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