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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   Ladies mount your poles. The RNC is coming   (tampabay.com) divider line 79
    More: Florida, RNC, Odyssey, National Convention, Make It Rain Machine  
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9993 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 6:55 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-02 11:32:49 PM
Those "He-Men" need to prove that they're not gay but I wouldn't want to take a piss in one of those strip clubs. (Don't piss in a strip club? -Then don't drink in a strip club)

www.neoconnews.com
 
2012-06-02 11:42:19 PM
www.mattfurey.com
 
2012-06-02 11:53:34 PM

Ed Finnerty: [www.mattfurey.com image 376x290]


Ok, I lol'd.
 
2012-06-03 12:05:31 AM
Ladies Gentlemen mount your poles. The RNC is coming

FTFY
 
2012-06-03 12:09:49 AM

coco ebert: Ed Finnerty: [www.mattfurey.com image 376x290]

Ok, I lol'd.


I don't get it. Matt Furey, totally obvious name change, is one of those fitness huckster types, specializing in body-weight-only stuff he claims will make you strong as an ox. Like him. I think he calls that particular pose a Bomber or something more macho than "pushup with an arch at the end".

Anyway, why do people find it funny? It's a form of pushup.
 
2012-06-03 12:14:58 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: coco ebert: Ed Finnerty: [www.mattfurey.com image 376x290]

Ok, I lol'd.

I don't get it. Matt Furey, totally obvious name change, is one of those fitness huckster types, specializing in body-weight-only stuff he claims will make you strong as an ox. Like him. I think he calls that particular pose a Bomber or something more macho than "pushup with an arch at the end".

Anyway, why do people find it funny? It's a form of pushup.


That ad used to be a mainstay of sites like WND, townhall, American Thinker, etc (collectively known as "Floorhumper.com"), and generally appeared alongside ads promising "conservatives" sure-fire ways of picking up chicks/getting laid.

It was the funniest/most pathetic thing ever...and ALL the wing-nut sites had those ads.
 
2012-06-03 12:21:49 AM

Lionel Mandrake: It was the funniest/most pathetic thing ever...and ALL the wing-nut sites had those ads.


Ah - that would explain it. I don't click into those sites, so I've never seen that phenomenon.

Thankye kindly.

/Furey is as pathetic as his ad buyers, BTW. Kind of the fitness equivalent of Guy Fieri.
 
2012-06-03 01:03:00 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Ah - that would explain it. I don't click into those sites, so I've never seen that phenomenon.


i.imgur.comimg151.imageshack.us

It was a throwback to Charles Atlas-style isometric exercise. and paranoia over the use of machines. Invoking rugged individualism and purity of body fluids and all that with reactionary paranoia and fear of one's penis being ridiculed. The first of those above ads is real, the second is a bit adulterated, though not by me.
 
2012-06-03 01:08:22 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Ladies Gentlemen mount your poles. The RNC is coming

FTFY


Not every single republican is gay.
 
2012-06-03 01:15:02 AM

shanrick: Not every single republican is gay.


Correct. Some are married.
 
2012-06-03 01:52:03 AM

The Onanist: shanrick: Not every single republican is gay.

Correct. Some are married.


The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, you know. Marcus Bachmann, for example. Ted Haggard, too.
 
2012-06-03 03:55:57 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: The Onanist: shanrick: Not every single republican is gay.

Correct. Some are married.

The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, you know. Marcus Bachmann, for example. Ted Haggard, too.


Larry Craig, George Reckers, Charlie Crist....
 
2012-06-03 06:59:24 AM
I'm fairly certain that the strippers are the only ones who are going to be making any money off of the RNC. Well, maybe the male Craigs List escorts will too.
 
2012-06-03 07:00:03 AM
Marriage is a sacred bond between one man and one woman.

If you want to hear it again, give me $150, honey, and I'll take you into a private room and say it real slow. Just the way Jesus intended.
 
2012-06-03 07:00:10 AM
That's yer good ole-fashun FAM'LY VALYERS right there.

Prayeez th' LAWD!
 
2012-06-03 07:02:08 AM
Strippers getting ready to perform for people who want to prevent them from getting health care, or having any real control of their bodies. Ironic or not?
 
2012-06-03 07:02:30 AM
Yeah, like women have anything to worry about with the RNC in town.
 
2012-06-03 07:13:21 AM
Some of you Tampa farkers should be out there with video cameras, documenting the Republicans going in there.
 
2012-06-03 07:17:52 AM

ghare: Some of you Tampa farkers should be out there with video cameras, documenting the Republicans going in there.to the Mons etc.


FTFM. I assume the Mons is still open.
 
2012-06-03 07:17:56 AM

ghare: Some of you Tampa farkers should be out there with video cameras, documenting the Republicans going in there.


It's not like you'll find prominent top-tier politicians strolling into strip joints. They get "private entertainment."

You would find plenty of paunchy, pasty-faced, Karl Rove wannabes. Nobody gives a flying shiat about them. And if photographed, they would just crack a smug Limbaugh smirk and wave and make a comment along the lines of, "You wish you were me." You know, wish you were paying a ton of money to a pretty young woman to pretend that she likes you.
 
2012-06-03 07:27:27 AM
I have a feeling there will also be some busy rest areas and men's public washrooms in Tampa as well, if history is any indicator.
 
2012-06-03 07:30:22 AM

ghare: ghare: Some of you Tampa farkers should be out there with video cameras, documenting the Republicans going in there.to the Mons etc.

FTFM. I assume the Mons is still open.



The Mons will never die.

/raises a drink to the memory of The Tanga.
 
2012-06-03 07:33:13 AM

shanrick: Benevolent Misanthrope: Ladies Gentlemen mount your poles. The RNC is coming

FTFY

Not every single republican is gay.


Just the men.
 
2012-06-03 07:41:12 AM

StrikitRich: ghare: ghare: Some of you Tampa farkers should be out there with video cameras, documenting the Republicans going in there.to the Mons etc.

FTFM. I assume the Mons is still open.


The Mons will never die.

/raises a drink to the memory of The Tanga.


Joe Redner is never going to close the Mons, because that would be letting the other side win, and there's no way he'd do that.

Fun factoid: Joe Redner's son owns the Cigar City brewery, which makes some mighty tasty beverages.
 
2012-06-03 07:42:36 AM
I grew up in New Orleans and good friend of mine, who is gayer that gay, told me that having the RNC town was gayer than flotilla of greek ships.
 
2012-06-03 07:42:57 AM
Ahhh...if only they could be caught with a video camera, but these upper crust Republicans don't frequent the clubs the way the 'rabble' do. They pay for private sessions.

Now, hitting the public johns with that camera... especially where rough trade goes on... that might turn up some fun. I mean, these Repubs seem to have no idea what 'stealth' and 'on the down low' means. (Of course, maybe they are so arrogant that they no longer care... I have seen evidence of this...)
 
2012-06-03 07:48:01 AM

Alphax: Strippers getting ready to perform for people who want to prevent them from getting health care, or having any real control of their bodies. Ironic or not?


Trickle down economics.
 
2012-06-03 07:49:50 AM

enry: Alphax: Strippers getting ready to perform for people who want to prevent them from getting health care, or having any real control of their bodies. Ironic or not?

Trickle down economics.


Golden Shower economics?
 
2012-06-03 07:50:01 AM

payattention: Ahhh...if only they could be caught with a video camera, but these upper crust Republicans don't frequent the clubs the way the 'rabble' do. They pay for private sessions.

Now, hitting the public johns with that camera... especially where rough trade goes on... that might turn up some fun. I mean, these Repubs seem to have no idea what 'stealth' and 'on the down low' means. (Of course, maybe they are so arrogant that they no longer care... I have seen evidence of this...)


I think it would probably be pretty enlightening to go wandering around near the Tampa Bay Times Forum with Grindr running on your phone while the RNC is going on. I suspect that there will be a higher than normal percentage of torso shots from people looking for someone to be "discreet".
 
2012-06-03 07:53:37 AM

payattention: Ahhh...if only they could be caught with a video camera, but these upper crust Republicans don't frequent the clubs the way the 'rabble' do. They pay for private sessions.

Now, hitting the public johns with that camera... especially where rough trade goes on... that might turn up some fun. I mean, these Repubs seem to have no idea what 'stealth' and 'on the down low' means. (Of course, maybe they are so arrogant that they no longer care... I have seen evidence of this...)


I was in the Audobon Pub on Bourbon street, doing some drinking with the aforementioned gay pal and his husband and a few friends of mine.

The RNC was in town and a group of delegates "wandered" in and ordered drinks, said they did not realize it was a gay bar. I mean if you are on Bourbon and St. Anne, then it is pretty much impossible to not know you are in a gay bar. Especially with the giant mulatto dancing on the bar in his skivvies.

The repubs get really tanked and one takes a shine to me and comes over to our table and tries to kiss me. I push him away and inform him I am straight, he replies "so am I but not tonight." I tell him I am just there to drink and walk off to the bathroom.

That son of a biatch follows me to the urinal and trys to grab my business and i knock him into the urinal and go back to the table.

He shows up covered in piss screaming at me and thats when a giant gay dude says "no means no motherfarker" and slaps the piss out of him and picks him up and tosses him out the door.

Then giant gay dude turns to me and says "hell, you even smell straight". And walks off.

/cool story bro
 
2012-06-03 07:57:55 AM
"I was just helpin' that alligator over the fence."
 
2012-06-03 08:00:21 AM
Check the Craig's List Personals for Tampa. They will be very busy with out of towners looking to hook-up.
 
2012-06-03 08:05:39 AM
\

theflatline: The RNC was in town and a group of delegates "wandered" in and ordered drinks, said they did not realize it was a gay bar. I mean if you are on Bourbon and St. Anne, then it is pretty much impossible to not know you are in a gay bar. Especially with the giant mulatto dancing on the bar in his skivvies.


Oh hey, this gives me an idea. We should have a politics tab Fark Party at one of the gay clubs in Tampa during the RNC, you know, to hang out, get drunk and watch all of the delegates who "accidentally" end up there.
 
2012-06-03 08:11:57 AM
If there is any justice in this world, the Tampa convention is going to degenerate into a Chicago 1968 situation, only with a lot more hidden cameras.
 
2012-06-03 08:12:13 AM

rynthetyn: \theflatline: The RNC was in town and a group of delegates "wandered" in and ordered drinks, said they did not realize it was a gay bar. I mean if you are on Bourbon and St. Anne, then it is pretty much impossible to not know you are in a gay bar. Especially with the giant mulatto dancing on the bar in his skivvies.

Oh hey, this gives me an idea. We should have a politics tab Fark Party at one of the gay clubs in Tampa during the RNC, you know, to hang out, get drunk and watch all of the delegates who "accidentally" end up there.


With a big sign that says "Beer, Wings, and Cocks".

I think we should run a couple of ads looking for hookups and see who responds.

Sample Ad

"Young, hot beach boy, looking for daddy type. Prefer authoritarian white collar types with a penchant for Mens Warehouse suits, wingtips, sock tans, out of towners preferred who are just looking for the brown eye the wife won't supply."
 
2012-06-03 08:18:24 AM

StrikitRich: /raises a drink to the memory of The Tanga.


Ah, The Tanga.

Let's just say Chris Rock was wrong.
 
2012-06-03 08:20:34 AM

shanrick: Benevolent Misanthrope: Ladies Gentlemen mount your poles. The RNC is coming

FTFY

Not every single republican is gay.


Of course not. Just the ones who are most vocal about hating teh gheys.
 
2012-06-03 08:24:25 AM

Mugato: StrikitRich: /raises a drink to the memory of The Tanga.

Ah, The Tanga.

Let's just say Chris Rock was wrong.


To be honest, I miss the Tex-Mex Cafe' more.
 
2012-06-03 08:25:21 AM
They'll do their level best to shut those down.

Right after the convention ends,that is.
 
2012-06-03 08:26:24 AM

Mugato: StrikitRich: /raises a drink to the memory of The Tanga.

Ah, The Tanga.

Let's just say Chris Rock was wrong.


Though they say it was named after an Island, tango means g-string in latin america.
 
2012-06-03 08:30:05 AM

rjakobi: If there is any justice in this world, the Tampa convention is going to degenerate into a Chicago 1968 situation, only with a lot more hidden cameras.


You assume there's Florida politicians as sinister as Mayor Daley?
 
2012-06-03 08:34:02 AM
Craigslist will need more servers than Cheyenne Mountain to handle all the traffic with subject lines like:
"Two Shaved Wesley Snipes lookalikes needed for 'Rotisserie Chicken' fantasy"
"ATTN SUCCULENT HISPANIC BOYS! Don a Ronald Reagan mask and ride me like a winning hedge fund"
"Tap Tap Slide Tap Slide -- Pilot Truck Stop on the I-4 north of Sarasota"

I hope the Tampa-area Volkswagen dealers have heavily ordered white-on-white Beetle convertibles for the days after the RNC. The line of shaved twinks flush with cash will be out the door.
 
2012-06-03 08:39:43 AM
I'm moving to Tampa later this month so I'm really getting a kick out of these comments. I'm sure I'll also get a kick out of how much the convention is going to screw up traffic around town. Thankfully the house and the new workplace aren't really anywhere near the Times-Forum, or so I've been told.
 
2012-06-03 08:41:00 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Craigslist will need more servers than Cheyenne Mountain to handle all the traffic with subject lines like:
"Two Shaved Wesley Snipes lookalikes needed for 'Rotisserie Chicken' fantasy"
"ATTN SUCCULENT HISPANIC BOYS! Don a Ronald Reagan mask and ride me like a winning hedge fund"
"Tap Tap Slide Tap Slide -- Pilot Truck Stop on the I-4 north of Sarasota"

I hope the Tampa-area Volkswagen dealers have heavily ordered white-on-white Beetle convertibles for the days after the RNC. The line of shaved twinks flush with cash will be out the door.


And Travolta can always scoot over from Ocala, but he is probably in Clearwater anyway already.
 
2012-06-03 08:41:38 AM

hurdboy: rjakobi: If there is any justice in this world, the Tampa convention is going to degenerate into a Chicago 1968 situation, only with a lot more hidden cameras.

You assume there's Florida politicians as sinister as Mayor Daley?


I'm inclined to think that unless the anarchist types deliberately try to turn Tampa into a war zone, nothing much is going to happen during the convention. If there's one thing that the Tampa PD is good at, it's dealing with crowd control in a reasonable manner. Of course, if people decide they want to get all rioty, all bets are off, but the police department in Tampa is very good at making sure crowds don't get to the point where mass crowd dynamics come into play.
 
2012-06-03 08:55:00 AM
Haha, gay jokes are always funny. Thank you thread.
 
2012-06-03 08:57:26 AM

rynthetyn: I'm inclined to think that unless the anarchist types deliberately try to turn Tampa into a war zone, nothing much is going to happen during the convention. If there's one thing that the Tampa PD is good at, it's dealing with crowd control in a reasonable manner. Of course, if people decide they want to get all rioty, all bets are off, but the police department in Tampa is very good at making sure crowds don't get to the point where mass crowd dynamics come into play.


Fox. Next spring. COPS -- RNC Edition.
 
2012-06-03 08:58:57 AM

edmo: They'll do their level best to shut those down.

Right after the convention ends,that is.


Much like those blisters your Mom has, these clubs are never going away.
 
2012-06-03 09:00:03 AM

rynthetyn: the police department in Tampa is very good at making sure crowds don't get to the point where mass crowd dynamics come into play.


I've heard that with all the old people that live there, if the early bird isn't up to scratch, you can expect to see Buicks on fire and walking frames being wrapped around the waitresses' throats.
 
2012-06-03 09:05:43 AM
Is there a Fark Tropes List on the net somewhere? Like TV Tropes, but for Fark threads?

I ask because the recent Gaydar Thread provided a pretty exhaustive compilation of most of Teh Ghey Fark Tropes (mostly cultural ones), and this thread, if it develops fully, could cover off all the Rethuglicans Are Repressed Rent Boy Chasers NTTAWWT memes. It would be a shame to waste these resources.

If there isn't a Wiki, somebody (smarter than me) should start one, if only for the purpose of managing the trope ecosystem.

/It's all about conservation.
 
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