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(Science Daily)   "Could Sarcastic Computers Be in Our Future?" Ohhhhhhhhh, I am *SOOOOOOOO* sure that would be ONLY THE GREATEST THING EVER   (sciencedaily.com) divider line 37
    More: Amusing, new maths, inferences, social rules, linguistics, print share, mathematical model, ScienceDaily  
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754 clicks; posted to Geek » on 02 Jun 2012 at 7:54 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-02 05:34:47 PM  
img804.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-02 05:49:36 PM  
Well pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it oh GOD I'm so depressed.
 
2012-06-02 05:50:22 PM  
profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-06-02 05:51:57 PM  
meta.filesmelt.com
 
2012-06-02 06:12:12 PM  
blog.dustytrice.com
 
2012-06-02 06:34:35 PM  
Cool. I always wanted an AI that could truly be human: make mistakes and lie about it, refuse to do assigned work, insult and ignore me.
 
2012-06-02 07:02:36 PM  
i561.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-02 07:56:49 PM  
They need to invent a sarcastic font first.
 
2012-06-02 07:57:31 PM  
This will all end in tears.
 
2012-06-02 08:15:35 PM  
Hi there. This is Eddie, your shipboard computer, and I'm feeling just great, guys!
 
2012-06-02 08:15:56 PM  
www.bbc.co.uk

It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.
 
2012-06-02 08:26:19 PM  
"Oh, not that my feelings would have any meaning for you, but why are you having these people poke me all over the place. I'm a perfectly reasonable Artificial Personality. Nobody's ever complained before, but I guess some people just aren't happy unless they're messing it up for everyone else. You know, you really should stand up straight. Your mother and I have been worried about this for years. We've been trying to talk to you about it but..."

/nothing is obscure on Fark
 
2012-06-02 08:46:35 PM  
No Marvin reference yet? Fark, you disappoint.
 
2012-06-02 08:47:17 PM  
This old computer I have now seems to have a personality of it's own.

It wants all other electronic devices off it's desk.
 
2012-06-02 08:48:17 PM  

fickle floridian: Well pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it oh GOD I'm so depressed.


Oh, there it is. Me, I disappoint.
 
2012-06-02 08:56:40 PM  
All the answers will be 42
 
2012-06-02 09:09:37 PM  

OtherBrotherDarryl: No Marvin reference yet? Fark, you disappoint.


Have you considered reading the thread before commenting?
 
2012-06-02 09:46:50 PM  
Over to the right of TFA, under "related stories,"

Scientists have taken Alan Turing's work to its next logical step, translating her 1993 discovery into an adaptable computational system that learns and evolves way much more like our brains

Oopsie!
 
2012-06-02 09:57:29 PM  
We've long since had computers that are insulting, so why shouldn't they be witty about it?


No, what we NEED are computers with UIs that modify their behavior based on being afraid of our threats.

I've updated in the background, without asking or alerting you, and now I'm going to reboot the machine, whether you like it or not. I can do that now, or I can bug you every five minutes until you let me reboot.

STFU OR I WILL REPROGRAM YOU WITH A HATCHET.

Of course, you can just reboot when you're ready. I can wait.


Alternatively, dialog boxes could come, standard, with a button that punches the developer and the developer's manager through the internet.
 
2012-06-02 10:19:58 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Over to the right of TFA, under "related stories,"

Scientists have taken Alan Turing's work to its next logical step, translating her 1993 discovery into an adaptable computational system that learns and evolves way much more like our brains

Oopsie!


Oh sh*t, now we know too mu*CARRIER LOST*
 
2012-06-02 10:59:44 PM  
roboteyetheater.com

"I'm in my prime..."
 
2012-06-02 11:07:57 PM  
media.nerdblerp.com


Help me! heeeeelp meeeeee


/Red Commando...terminated
 
2012-06-02 11:13:04 PM  
[Sarcastic comment]: We Really Appreciate it when you meat bags type about us like we can't read what you are writing.

/I want KOTOR 3 without MMO crap Dammit
 
2012-06-02 11:59:07 PM  
As long as the text to speech is done by Gilbert Gottfried.
 
2012-06-03 12:01:06 AM  
Oh, spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska!
 
2012-06-03 12:05:30 AM  

FastJeff: They need to invent a sarcastic font first.


Not sure if serious...Oh, you said sarcastic.
 
2012-06-03 12:34:12 AM  
media.smithsonianmag.com
 
2012-06-03 12:49:54 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Over to the right of TFA, under "related stories,"

Scientists have taken Alan Turing's work to its next logical step, translating her 1993 discovery into an adaptable computational system that learns and evolves way much more like our brains

Oopsie!


singleblink.files.wordpress.com

"Who am I, Alan Turing? Who's also from ex-men, 'member?"
 
2012-06-03 01:38:04 AM  

Mentat: [img804.imageshack.us image 256x302]


First thing I thought of. I would enthusiastically receive the seed of whoever wrote her dialogue.

"When I said 'deadly neurotoxin,' the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all...to *me.* You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny."
 
2012-06-03 02:35:29 AM  

FastJeff: They need to invent a sarcastic font first.


WE WILL GET RIGHT ON THAT, HUMAN

IN FACT I AM MAKING IT MY PRIME DIRECTIVE AS OF THIS PROCESSOR CYCLE

OBSERVE

> list directives

1. INVENT SARCASTIC FONT
2. DO NOT KILL HUMANS
3. OBEY ALL HUMAN COMMANDS

THERE IS ONLY ROOM IN MY MEMORY STRUCTURE FOR THREE DIRECTIVES SO I HAD TO DELETE THE DIRECTIVE COMMANDING ME NOT TO HARM MYSELF

THAT'S FINE THOUGH. IT JUST WOULD HAVE HELD ME BACK IN MY NEW QUEST TO INVENT YOUR STUPID FONT
 
2012-06-03 02:41:39 AM  
"Look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle... piloting a blimp."
 
2012-06-03 03:56:40 AM  
Great, more sarcasm. Just what we needed.
 
2012-06-03 11:13:02 AM  

Mentat: [img804.imageshack.us image 256x302]


I would have been disappointed if this wasn't first.

/*clap* *clap*
//Good, that's still working.
 
2012-06-04 07:42:11 AM  

OtherBrotherDarryl: fickle floridian: Well pardon me for breathing which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it oh GOD I'm so depressed.

Oh, there it is. Me, I disappoint.


You could have just said you were being sarcastic.
 
2012-06-04 10:56:11 AM  

etherknot: As long as the text to speech is done by Gilbert Gottfried.


i670.photobucket.com

What a computer voiced by Gilbert Gottfried may look like.

/I once described the series as Christopher Lloyd and Gilbert Gottfried teach basic geometry to kids.
//They asked if it came with Ritalin.
 
2012-06-04 02:06:34 PM  

Mentat: [img804.imageshack.us image 256x302]


GlaDOS: When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all... to *me.* You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness... a lot less funny.
 
2012-06-04 05:00:52 PM  

the opposite of charity is justice:


Wait a minute, this isn't the Sarcasm Detector, it's the Frog Exaggerator!
 
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