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(Gawker)   Best. School absence note. Ever   (gawker.com) divider line 32
    More: Spiffy, pardons, Honeywell, exclamation points  
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36921 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2012 at 7:06 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-02 06:51:57 PM
46 votes:
I want to see the long-form excuse.
2012-06-02 05:16:36 PM
14 votes:
Sincerely,
Juan Epstein's Mother
2012-06-02 07:41:11 PM
13 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-06-02 07:21:09 PM
5 votes:
FOX NEWS SPECIAL REPORT - BREAKING: Alleged president B. Hussein Obongo kidnaps child and threatens schoolteacher. Police say socialism may be involved.
2012-06-02 07:30:32 PM
4 votes:

imprimere: Still, that's about the most meaningful signature he's penned since taking office.


Yo Drew...there's plenty of room up there next to the "Smart" tag for a "Retard" tag.
2012-06-02 05:02:22 PM
4 votes:
Berry Carnack MaoBongo is just trying to keep the poor kid out of school so he will have to rely on the govt for his purple drank and fried chicken.
2012-06-02 07:32:31 PM
3 votes:

StoneColdAtheist: imprimere: Still, that's about the most meaningful signature he's penned since taking office.

Yo Drew...there's plenty of room up there next to the "Smart" tag for a "Retard" tag.


Drew doesn't want us to wear out our clicking finger.
2012-06-02 07:24:04 PM
3 votes:
I remember in high school I knew a guy who made sure the very first note he ever turned in was in his own handwriting, that way they'd always refer back to it to "verify" subsequent ones.

It didn't take long for him to realize they weren't even reading the text of the notes, so he just kept pushing it farther and farther... The last one he gave them said to excuse him as he'd been fishing with Albert Einstein and the Pope and nobody said a word.

I think he stopped because something inside him died that day.
2012-06-02 07:13:21 PM
3 votes:
OH MY GOD! The savior performed another miracle! Stop what you're doing and remember where you were when.

Still, that's about the most meaningful signature he's penned since taking office.
2012-06-02 08:22:19 PM
2 votes:

imprimere: Salt Lick Steady: imprimere: Sadly, none here. I don't really get going until the small hours.

It's amusing that you knew red5ish was referring to you.

Yes, it's a very difficult thing to figure out. Quick, there is someone who is not in love with Obama. Farkers, to the Insult Cave!

Our political system is so farking broken that it's long past funny. But hey, you go on believing that your party is the righteous one. I happen to know they're both farked and overhyped. But, what do I know. I'm just a (all those clever names).coon-canker.


The term is coont-canker.
2012-06-02 07:59:41 PM
2 votes:
"Coont-canker" is now my new favorite insult I've learned from Fark. Twatwaffle, tardvaark, chucklefark, and sparklefark now have a new friend.
2012-06-02 07:48:27 PM
2 votes:
2012-06-02 07:22:01 PM
2 votes:

imprimere: It's just part of Obama's Every Child Left Behind agenda!


You are just hoping Obama leaves some of those children's behinds for you.
2012-06-02 07:13:02 PM
2 votes:
That absence notice is NOT from the USA.
2012-06-02 06:03:07 PM
2 votes:

Paris1127: //which I hope isn't scented...


The odor of cheez-wiz is distinctive.
2012-06-02 11:18:49 PM
1 votes:
I longed for a similar note written by President Clinton: "Dear Coach Kessler, please excuse Louis from P.E. for the rest of time...

Did anybody else visualize this during the last paragraph?
belinda412.files.wordpress.com
2012-06-02 09:09:18 PM
1 votes:

imprimere: Barbecue Bob: I'm a ...
No. Did you really come to a FARK thread to have your spirits lifted?


Actually, I come here to biatch at ignorant douchenozzles.
How 'bout you?
2012-06-02 09:08:48 PM
1 votes:
www.conspiracyplanet.com

How about ... No.
2012-06-02 08:23:06 PM
1 votes:
He got an excuse note from the POTUS, that's all kinds of cool!

Oh wait, I just remembered who the POTUS is; this is the Worst Thing Ever!
2012-06-02 08:04:55 PM
1 votes:

imprimere: Coco LaFemme: "Coont-canker" is now my new favorite insult I've learned from Fark. Twatwaffle, tardvaark, chucklefark, and sparklefark now have a new friend.

Now there's an achievemnet!

"Look at all the nonsensical words I know! Aren't I cool?"
"Cool like like coont-canker cream."
"I know, right?"


I didn't say it was an achievement. Just a funny new word I didn't know five minutes ago. I am cool, though. You got that part right.
2012-06-02 08:03:51 PM
1 votes:

Coco LaFemme: "Coont-canker" is now my new favorite insult I've learned from Fark. Twatwaffle, tardvaark, chucklefark, and sparklefark now have a new friend.


Now there's an achievemnet!

"Look at all the nonsensical words I know! Aren't I cool?"
"Cool like like coont-canker cream."
"I know, right?"
2012-06-02 07:56:58 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-06-02 07:52:07 PM
1 votes:

MayContainHorseGluten: Peepeye: I'm a democrat, but if I somehow received a republican presidential excuse note, I would frame it. Geez....lighten up folks. It's a cute story.

No kidding. Sounds like lately Obama couldn't save a family from a building single-handedly without being criticized for something something socialism.


"Why didn't 0bama let the firefighters save that family? Does he think he's better than our red-blooded REAL AMERICAN HEROES? Because of his typical liberal socialist selfishness, those men didn't work, and we all know 0bambi wants to keep Americans out of work and sucking off the government tit. That's why we need a real friend to the middle class, someone who understands how important it is for Americans to work....someone like Mitt Romney."

Jesus, I think I need to take a shower after typing that.
2012-06-02 07:41:31 PM
1 votes:
img.gawkerassets.com

Hey, bring me some more weed up here please ... STAT
2012-06-02 07:36:22 PM
1 votes:
Fellas, fellas! Relax.. both of your mothers were whores.
2012-06-02 07:20:42 PM
1 votes:
Follow up story will be principal expelling Tyler and selling the president's signiture on Ebay.
2012-06-02 07:18:28 PM
1 votes:
It's just part of Obama's Every Child Left Behind agenda!
2012-06-02 07:17:19 PM
1 votes:
I thought it was going to be this rather dyslexic effort:

i.dailymail.co.uk

'Dery [dear] Mrs. Trotty [Trottier]. Gannon is not going to the prgrogm [program].'

6 year old kid's effort not to go to the 'program', whatever that is. It worked.
2012-06-02 07:17:16 PM
1 votes:
Wow, the Kenyan-in Chief wrote the kid a note! That's about as worthless as Bounel's birth certificate.

I can't believe you farkers fell for this conman's lies. What makes you so gullible - wishful thinking?
2012-06-02 07:16:31 PM
1 votes:

Friskya: Sincerely,
Juan Epstein's Mother


img.photobucket.com
2012-06-02 07:15:38 PM
1 votes:
Zero tolerance. Suspend the kid for being absent.
2012-06-02 07:10:34 PM
1 votes:

Shostie: I want to see the long-form excuse.


Close it up and turn off the lights. Thread over.
 
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