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(CNN)   Bear eats corpse of convicted killer. I bet that was a *puts on sunglasses* Kodiak moment   (cnn.com) divider line 97
    More: Scary, Volkswagen Jetta, animal print, murderers, corpses, black bear  
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8438 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2012 at 11:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-02 08:00:03 AM
cdn.chud.com

/Bummer they're thinking about putting the bear down, though. Of course, if he has the taste for human blood...
 
2012-06-02 08:41:12 AM
Sounds like it was a *puts on sunglasses* grizzly scene.
 
2012-06-02 09:00:36 AM
CNN likes to run stories that *puts on sunglasses* pandas to the masses.
 
2012-06-02 09:26:34 AM
i1123.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-02 09:32:12 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Of course, if he has the taste for human blood...


You should know that folk tale is bushwa. Why would an animal start eating humans? Because they're slow and easy to kill, not because it's an acquired taste.
 
2012-06-02 11:28:25 AM

2wolves: FirstNationalBastard: Of course, if he has the taste for human blood...

You should know that folk tale is bushwa. Why would an animal start eating humans? Because they're slow and easy to kill, not because it's an acquired taste.


I've always heard that if you play dead they will leave you alone. Hnh, guess that isn't true.
Also, +1 for subby.
 
2012-06-02 11:31:56 AM
Love the headline.

/window seat please.
 
2012-06-02 11:33:33 AM
Does a Bear shiat in the woods comes to mind
 
2012-06-02 11:37:50 AM

FirstNationalBastard: [cdn.chud.com image 460x275]

/Bummer they're thinking about putting the bear down, though. Of course, if he has the taste for human blood...


They're putting CSI: Miami down too, no doubt for the same reason.
 
2012-06-02 11:38:26 AM

2wolves: You should know that folk tale is bushwa. Why would an animal start eating humans? Because they're slow and easy to kill, not because it's an acquired taste.


Well duh... you start killing humans because they're slow and easy to kill, but then it becomes an acquired taste and next thing you know, you're in Miami gnawing on some dude's face.
 
2012-06-02 11:38:48 AM
Looks like he exercised his right *puts on sunglasses* to bear arms.

/got nuthin
 
2012-06-02 11:39:36 AM
Hurray for animal puns!

I continue to have no idea what +1 means, and yet i feel a strong desire to +1 you, subby.

Also, this article gives me *puts on sunglasses* paws for thought.
 
2012-06-02 11:39:40 AM
media.screened.com

Was he menstruating? Bears can smell the menstrual blood!
 
2012-06-02 11:40:29 AM
Did he wash it down with some of his own pee?
 
2012-06-02 11:42:29 AM
The moment I saw this story, I knew it was totally farkworthy! Bear, check, eaten dead guy, check, murderer, check. :)
 
2012-06-02 11:43:37 AM

The_Gallant_Gallstone: 2wolves: You should know that folk tale is bushwa. Why would an animal start eating humans? Because they're slow and easy to kill, not because it's an acquired taste.

Well duh... you start killing humans because they're slow and easy to kill, but then it becomes an acquired taste and next thing you know, you're in Miami gnawing on some dude's face.


sounds like u need a bath
aah refreshing bath salts
 
2012-06-02 11:44:06 AM
I had no idea Capital Punishment in Canada was so harsh!
 
2012-06-02 11:47:38 AM

Brick-House: Does a Bear shiat in the woods comes to mind


Link
 
2012-06-02 11:48:13 AM
This thread is becoming unbearable fast...
 
2012-06-02 11:51:06 AM

ruiner13: This thread is becoming unbearable fast...


Are puns really that *puts sunglasses on* polar-izing?
 
2012-06-02 11:52:32 AM

hillbillypharmacist: CNN likes to run stories that *puts on sunglasses* pandas to the masses.


Sounds like it could have been an *puts on sunglasses* ursine killing.
 
2012-06-02 11:56:04 AM
He bearly stood a chance!
 
2012-06-02 11:56:15 AM
FTFA
Conservation officials say the bear was caught, but may be killed to ensure public safety.
Fark that send this bear on a North American tour of all supermax prisons
/Hell send him to wallstreet
 
2012-06-02 11:57:51 AM
I don't think a corpse qualifies as The Most Dangerous Game.
 
2012-06-02 11:59:28 AM
What if the bear absorbs the serial killer's powers? The bear needs to be killed before it takes more lives.
 
2012-06-02 11:59:47 AM
I was looking for a pic to add and um, do NOT google bears eating men with your filter off.
NTTAWWT.

/off to bleach eyes
 
2012-06-02 12:01:38 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: [i1123.photobucket.com image 640x477]


That was well worth reading for the lol punchline at the end
 
2012-06-02 12:02:37 PM

AbbeySomeone: I was looking for a pic to add and um, do NOT google bears eating men with your filter off.
NTTAWWT.

/off to bleach eyes



www.thisblogrules.com
 
2012-06-02 12:09:10 PM

JerseyTim: Sounds like it was a *puts on sunglasses* grizzly scene.


Something like this would have made a better headline.
 
2012-06-02 12:11:13 PM
FTA -- "Police believe Wagner was already dead in a 1986 Volkswagen Jetta when the black bear broke into the vehicle, ate some parts of him and dragged the rest of the body away."

Wouldn't that make Wagner technically road kill with the bear just doing its part to help keep Gaia clean? I'll bet he stops forest fires also.
 
2012-06-02 12:13:11 PM
DNRTFA


Was it a corpse when the bear STARTED eating?
 
2012-06-02 12:16:19 PM

jayessell: DNRTFA


Was it a corpse when the bear STARTED eating?


You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and...
 
2012-06-02 12:17:46 PM
I daresay, these are some...

-Sunglasses-

Koalaty Puns
 
2012-06-02 12:32:56 PM

MAYORBOB: FTA -- "Police believe Wagner was already dead in a 1986 Volkswagen Jetta when the black bear broke into the vehicle, ate some parts of him and dragged the rest of the body away."

Wouldn't that make Wagner technically road kill with the bear just doing its part to help keep Gaia clean? I'll bet he stops forest fires also.


Shhh, what if rhino unions hear about it?
 
2012-06-02 12:34:13 PM
"You are no match for my crane-style."
babyanimalzoo.com
 
2012-06-02 12:34:48 PM
Bearial
 
2012-06-02 12:37:54 PM
I guess we should just....

*puts on sunglasses*

...grin and bear it.

YEEAAAHHHH!!!!!
 
2012-06-02 12:42:43 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I daresay, these are some...

-Sunglasses-

Koalaty Puns


Koalas aren't bears, they're marsupials.

-2 points

/same with pandas
 
2012-06-02 12:44:26 PM
Oh sh*t, Stephen Colbert was RIGHT!!
 
2012-06-02 12:45:36 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: bears eating men


www.sushiesque.com

You owe me a new breakfast, that's just sick.
 
2012-06-02 12:46:16 PM
i25.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-02 12:47:26 PM

Martonio: /same with pandas


From Wiki:
For many decades the precise taxonomic classification of the giant panda was under debate because it shares characteristics[clarification needed] of both bears and raccoons.[43] However, molecular studies suggest that the giant panda is a true bear and part of the Ursidae family,[44][45] though it differentiated early in history from the main ursine stock. The giant panda's closest extant relative is the spectacled bear of South America.[46] The giant panda has been referred to as a living fossil.[47]
 
2012-06-02 12:48:00 PM
Conservation officials say the bear was caught, but may be killed to ensure public safety.


/Now why would you go and kill the bear? It eats carrion, that's what they do. It's not like it will become a man hunting rogue bear. Jeez. Reminds me of a vid i saw on youtube where a guy owned a towing business, which was fenced in, and he had 2 german shepards to guard it. He had video of the car area, and two scumbags broke in to rob the place at night. Well..to make a long story short, the dogs jumped the guys and tore out their necks. The cops showed up, the guys were dead as yesterdays meatloaf, and the cops proceeded to shoot the shiat out of the dogs. The owner was standing there yelling at them to stop..as the dogs were just doing what they were trained to do, and he would go in and get them. But they killed them anyway. Sighs...
 
2012-06-02 12:55:54 PM

Evil Canadian: The moment I saw this story, I knew it was totally farkworthy! Bear, check, eaten dead guy, check, murderer, check. :)


t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-06-02 12:57:29 PM
Nice bear puns, Farkers!

That's the *puts sunglasses back on* spirit!

www.wildshots.ca

/not a polar bear
//i have a picture of one on my wall :D
 
2012-06-02 01:00:02 PM

Craptastic: "You are no match for my crane-style."
[babyanimalzoo.com image 600x400]


So cute! :D
 
2012-06-02 01:03:13 PM

Badgers: [i25.tinypic.com image 259x799]


irom.files.wordpress.com
The beautiful, beautiful bear came in peace and he came in hunger.
 
2012-06-02 01:03:40 PM
We at Thud Shirts have a shirt for almost every occasion.

static.neatoshop.com
 
2012-06-02 01:04:45 PM
Hey guyz... Am I in the right thread?

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-02 01:06:33 PM

Thudfark: We at Thud Shirts have a shirt for almost every occasion.

[static.neatoshop.com image 600x400]


It is good to see that we can enjoy our Fark threads free of unnecessary advertising.

Funny shirt, but would be funnier, and more subtle without the caption.
 
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