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(Talking Points Memo)   When your ex-wife is telling crap about you to the FEC because you're doinking your aide and siphoning off millions of dollars her way, you might just be Senator Mark Kirk (R-eally farked, and not in the good way)   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 133
    More: Dumbass, Fe C, March of Dimes, Federal Election Commission, Senate  
•       •       •

5596 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Jun 2012 at 10:29 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-02 12:54:07 AM  
dude's got an ex-wife that's pissed he cheated on her with his ex-girlfriend/aide who he gave shiatloads of money to. I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for the guy or mock his utter stupidity.

how about a mocking pity?
 
2012-06-02 01:04:28 AM  
He's a Republican. Nothing will happen.
 
2012-06-02 09:16:08 AM  

kmmontandon: He's a Republican. Nothing will happen.


Doesn't matter which party- they all got this type of thing covered. Insider trading, kickbacks, payola, etc.

FTFA: Charles Tiefer, a University of Baltimore School of Law professor and former deputy general counsel of the House of Representatives, told the Tribune he did not think rules were broken in this case. Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members. Girlfriends apparently are ok. "It's a question of appearances," he said, "not a violation of hard-and-fast congressional ethics rules."
 
2012-06-02 09:20:45 AM  
take party affiliation out of the story for a moment and just read the story - WTF was this guy thinking?! if you are in congress, keep it in your pants. if you can't keep it in your pants, DO NOT ever EVER let the women involved find out about your corrupt little deals. if you're gonna be a corrupt bastard for money...don't get wrapped up in a sex scandal.

also - this guy had a stroke!? dude! retire already!
 
2012-06-02 09:33:49 AM  
Released the McCracken!
 
2012-06-02 09:52:43 AM  
Ex-girlfriend? I thought the rumor was that Mark Kirk was gay.
 
2012-06-02 10:30:49 AM  
IOKIYAR.
 
2012-06-02 10:31:37 AM  
Dodie McCracken. Dodie McCracken!
 
2012-06-02 10:33:19 AM  
Weaver95

He just got elected senator in 2010. I imagine that's why he hasn't retired yet.
 
2012-06-02 10:36:03 AM  

"Kirk suffered a stroke in January. Earlier this month, he released a video showing his rehabilitation work, and discussing his hope to one day "climb the 45 steps that my staff counted, from the parking lot to the Senate front door, to fight for the people of Illinois.""


Because if he can't climb stair then there's no way he'll have the stamina to fark his mistress.

 
2012-06-02 10:36:30 AM  
I voted against the clown.
 
2012-06-02 10:36:49 AM  
I still can't believe my fellow Illinois residents voted for that piece of shiat over the other piece of shiat running against him. 2010 was not a fun election.
 
2012-06-02 10:37:24 AM  

somedude210: dude's got an ex-wife that's pissed he cheated on her with his ex-girlfriend/aide who he gave shiatloads of money to. I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for the guy or mock his utter stupidity.

how about a mocking pity?


Truly he should just shoot himself to save himself future misery
 
2012-06-02 10:40:12 AM  

Weaver95: take party affiliation out of the story for a moment and just read the story - WTF was this guy thinking?! if you are in congress, keep it in your pants. if you can't keep it in your pants, DO NOT ever EVER let the women involved find out about your corrupt little deals. if you're gonna be a corrupt bastard for money...don't get wrapped up in a sex scandal.

also - this guy had a stroke!? dude! retire already!


He can't. If Sen. Kirk retires, the Governor of Illinois gets to appoint a replacement, and the current governor of Illinois is a Democrat.
 
2012-06-02 10:41:09 AM  

skinink: "Kirk suffered a stroke in January. Earlier this month, he released a video showing his rehabilitation work, and discussing his hope to one day "climb the 45 steps that my staff counted, from the parking lot to the Senate front door, to fight for the people of Illinois."

Because if he can't climb stair then there's no way he'll have the stamina to fark his mistress.


i48.tinypic.com

If there is one thing the history of cheating has taught us it's that this man's dick will not be contained. The dick breaks free, expands to new territories, and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, ah, well, there it is.
 
2012-06-02 10:43:14 AM  
He's got that "Politician caught with hand in the cookie jar" look about him in TFA.
 
2012-06-02 10:44:29 AM  

dugitman: kmmontandon: He's a Republican. Nothing will happen.

Doesn't matter which party- they all got this type of thing covered. Insider trading, kickbacks, payola, etc.

FTFA: Charles Tiefer, a University of Baltimore School of Law professor and former deputy general counsel of the House of Representatives, told the Tribune he did not think rules were broken in this case. Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members. Girlfriends apparently are ok. "It's a question of appearances," he said, "not a violation of hard-and-fast congressional ethics rules."


Yeah, I did a double-take on that as well. WTF?
 
2012-06-02 10:45:25 AM  

Fart_Machine: dugitman: kmmontandon: He's a Republican. Nothing will happen.

Doesn't matter which party- they all got this type of thing covered. Insider trading, kickbacks, payola, etc.

FTFA: Charles Tiefer, a University of Baltimore School of Law professor and former deputy general counsel of the House of Representatives, told the Tribune he did not think rules were broken in this case. Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members. Girlfriends apparently are ok. "It's a question of appearances," he said, "not a violation of hard-and-fast congressional ethics rules."

Yeah, I did a double-take on that as well. WTF?


I don't think anyone should be surprised that congressional ethics rules are vague and crudely drawn at best.
 
2012-06-02 10:46:10 AM  

The1andonlyZack: I voted against the clown.


Same here. I got on his email list somehow after he won. After the 3rd or 4th "Republicans Rule, Democrats Drool" email from him, I sent out a rather strong lash of negative psychic energy--for a while I felt a little guilty that I might have caused his stroke. Then I learned that I don't have that particular telepathic ability, and I felt better.
 
2012-06-02 10:47:04 AM  

Shaggy_C: I still can't believe my fellow Illinois residents voted for that piece of shiat over the other piece of shiat running against him. 2010 was not a fun election.


It's Illinois and shiat is always your only option.
 
2012-06-02 10:47:40 AM  
FTFA: Charles Tiefer, a University of Baltimore School of Law professor and former deputy general counsel of the House of Representatives, told the Tribune he did not think rules were broken in this case. Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members. Girlfriends apparently are ok. "It's a question of appearances," he said, "not a violation of hard-and-fast congressional ethics rules."

Glad we could clear that up. I feel much better now. Propriety is so overrated these days.
 
2012-06-02 10:48:29 AM  
Best part?

Dodie McCracken.
 
2012-06-02 10:53:14 AM  

vernonFL: Best part?

Dodie McCracken.


Yes, and her gay ex-husband's name is Phil
 
2012-06-02 11:03:54 AM  
I'd fill her McCracken

www.theblaze.com
 
2012-06-02 11:05:29 AM  

skinink: "Kirk suffered a stroke in January. Earlier this month, he released a video showing his rehabilitation work, and discussing his hope to one day "climb the 45 steps that my staff counted, from the parking lot to the Senate front door, to fight for the people of Illinois.""
Because if he can't climb stair then there's no way he'll have the stamina to fark his mistress.


It appears that not only can he climb the 45 steps, but it seems that he can't even count that high anymore.
 
2012-06-02 11:06:52 AM  
I keep trying to think of a comment and then I get distracted by the Bush picture on the right.
 
2012-06-02 11:12:39 AM  

brandent: I keep trying to think of a comment and then I get distracted by the Bush picture on the right.


Why is it labeled Jenna (L)? That's what I find distracting.
 
2012-06-02 11:14:16 AM  

brandent: I keep trying to think of a comment and then I get distracted by the Bush picture on the right.


Thank god you didn't go to the 70s porn politics thread yesterday. We'd never get you out of there
 
2012-06-02 11:45:16 AM  
Oh good. That means I get to get my hopes up that we'll find a halfway decent Senator and those hopes won't be dashed until the end of the primaries.
 
2012-06-02 11:46:41 AM  

brandent: I keep trying to think of a comment and then I get distracted by the Bush picture on the right.


Bring back Sofia Vergara.at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

fark.upi.com
 
2012-06-02 11:54:38 AM  
So wifey didn't have any problems with ethical violations until she found out about the girlfriend? Investigate her ass, too. You shouldn't get points for whistleblowing if the only reason why you're doing it is because you got kicked off the gravy train.
 
2012-06-02 12:04:16 PM  
Subby: "When your ex-wife is telling crap about you to the FEC because you're doinking your aide and siphoning off millions of dollars her way..."

You're going to have to be more specific.
 
2012-06-02 12:04:39 PM  
I think he might actually get some repercussions from this.

If only because his hair isn't nearly up to par for this kind of situation.
 
2012-06-02 12:07:09 PM  

qorkfiend: I don't think anyone should be surprised that congressional ethics rules are vague and crudely drawn at best.


In this case I think vaguely drawn would have been better. The loophole is that the rule specifies family and the mistress isn't a member of his family. If the rule were something to the effect of "anyone which whom the senator has a personal relationship" he'd clearly be in violation.

This is the problem with rules that are too specific, they allow loopholes and gaming the system by following the letter rather than the intent of the law. Slightly more general rules allow for some gray area and the exercise of reason and judgement but that is it's own can of worms.
 
2012-06-02 12:07:50 PM  

Shaggy_C: I still can't believe my fellow Illinois residents voted for that piece of shiat over the other piece of shiat running against him. 2010 was not a fun election.


This.

The1andonlyZack: I voted against the clown.


And that.

Also, FTFA, "Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members"

Oh god. Can't stop laughing.
 
2012-06-02 12:16:15 PM  
Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members. Girlfriends apparently are ok.

*head-desk*
*head-desk*
*head-desk*


Oh, FFS. Really?
 
2012-06-02 12:22:46 PM  

kmmontandon: He's a Republican. Nothing will happen.


I hate the way that Republicans are always getting away with these shenanigans.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-02 12:25:51 PM  

Weaver95: take party affiliation out of the story for a moment and just read the story - WTF was this guy thinking?! if you are in congress, keep it in your pants.


Many of them seek office because they want to get it out of their pants with whomever they want.

/not surprised
 
2012-06-02 12:29:50 PM  
If the girlfriend was smart, she'd set up a SuperPAC and "lobby" with all that money rolling in
 
2012-06-02 12:32:40 PM  
Illinois: Get your money for nothing, get your chicks for free
 
2012-06-02 12:36:42 PM  

rynthetyn: Ex-girlfriend? I thought the rumor was that Mark Kirk was gay.


checkdonc.ca
Really? I lived in his House district for a decade, voted against him every time that I could, and I never heard a rumor like that...

/at least he is *fairly* moderate, he couldn't have won Illinois's 10th as a Teahadist...
 
2012-06-02 12:53:01 PM  

Shaggy_C: I still can't believe my fellow Illinois residents voted for that piece of shiat over the other piece of shiat running against him. 2010 was not a fun election.


Giannoulias was a piece of shiat but his policy positions were pretty good.
 
2012-06-02 01:10:21 PM  

rynthetyn: Ex-girlfriend? I thought the rumor was that Mark Kirk was gay.


He's gay by criminal choice. This type of gay is a feature, not a bug.
 
2012-06-02 01:20:07 PM  
www.chicagotribune.com

According to TFA, the ex-wife is 15 years younger than the girlfriend?
 
2012-06-02 01:20:09 PM  

quatchi: Senate ethics rules prohibit lawmakers from pushing legislation to financially benefit themselves or immediate family members. Girlfriends apparently are ok.

*head-desk*
*head-desk*
*head-desk*

Oh, FFS. Really?


If they included non-family buddies then lobbying would be effectively illegal.

Which, I mean, would be a good thing for 99.9999% of the population, but you're getting into cold day in hell territory there for obvious reasons.
 
2012-06-02 01:30:42 PM  
Isn't this the asshole who got caught lying about his military record and medals received, and when the person he was running against made it an issue, he cried that it was unfair to bring it up. So I'm shocked that he would do something like this.
 
2012-06-02 01:35:22 PM  
Dodie.

www.chicagobusiness.com
 
2012-06-02 01:44:27 PM  

Shaggy_C: I still can't believe my fellow Illinois residents voted for that piece of shiat over the other piece of shiat running against him. 2010 was not a fun election.


I left my ballot blank for the US Senate election in 2010. It was a choice between a straight-up liar (Kirk) vs a straight-up crook (Giannoulias). I picked neither.

/I hate Illinois nazis politics
//retire Kirk
 
2012-06-02 01:47:23 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Dodie.

[www.chicagobusiness.com image 600x400]


Looks like both entries were beginning to bald, for Westminster this year.
 
2012-06-02 01:50:58 PM  

somedude210: dude's got an ex-wife that's pissed he cheated on her with his ex-girlfriend/aide who he gave shiatloads of money to. I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for the guy or mock his utter stupidity.

how about a mocking pity?


Buuuuuurn!
 
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