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(The Raw Story)   The CDC has officially declared that no zombie outbreak is underway. "Itchy, tasty," a spokesman added   ( divider line
    More: Scary, zombie apocalypse, teachable moment  
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9499 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2012 at 6:59 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-06-01 03:56:12 PM  
10 votes:
That's reassuring. Those stories were getting so bizarre, even though it was summer break, I was keeping my kid Carl in the hou--hey, where the fark is Carl?
2012-06-01 07:09:52 PM  
6 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-06-01 03:29:23 PM  
4 votes:
The CDC official was also heard to say *whisper whisper whisper*.
2012-06-01 08:45:24 PM  
3 votes:
Hold on a sec. My crazy neighbor is knocking on my door. He's wearing a saucepan as a helmet and babbling incoherently about selling me seeds.
2012-06-01 07:22:38 PM  
3 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2012-06-01 07:24:17 PM  
2 votes:
Send more cops...
2012-06-01 07:18:29 PM  
2 votes: Full Size
2012-06-01 07:03:55 PM  
2 votes:
And those five or six corpses I've had to brain in the face with an oxygen tank just wanted to give me a hug, right?
2012-06-01 07:01:51 PM  
2 votes:
imageshack.usView Full Size
2012-06-01 06:07:16 PM  
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

2012-06-01 05:58:25 PM  
2 votes:
I've watched Stargate SG-1, I know what the CDC's game is
2012-06-01 03:48:14 PM  
2 votes:
Oh sure, that's what they claim, but there were a lot less cars on the highway this morning during my commute. A lot less. First thing I thought was "Holy shiat, the Zombie outbreak is real."
2012-06-01 11:07:03 PM  
1 vote:

B.L.Z. Bub: Xexi: B.L.Z. Bub:
The thing is, the zombie fantasy doesn't even make sense. How can creatures that are basically rotting corpses have teeth strong enough to pierce human skulls? Especially when you consider that modern-day humans have very unhealthy teeth due to all the sugar we consume.

Let me guess, you're a vampire fan.

I'm not trying to start some sort of lame horror monster flamewar here, just pointing out the obvious.

So, okay, they'll break off all their teeth with the first bite, that doesn't make it any more pleasant to be gummed to death by a decaying corpse.
2012-06-01 08:18:10 PM  
1 vote:

CygnusDarius: Also, Nurgle is pleased.

images.dakkadakka.comView Full Size
2012-06-01 08:08:11 PM  
1 vote:
2012-06-01 07:52:00 PM  
1 vote:
Okay, who's been letting Umbrella conduct experiments?
2012-06-01 07:50:51 PM  
1 vote:
Tl;dr shot neighbor just in case
2012-06-01 07:40:57 PM  
1 vote:
So...World War Z wasn't just a good book then, but Max Brooks travelling forward in time?
2012-06-01 07:35:35 PM  
1 vote:
That's it, official denial. Time to lock and load, folks.
2012-06-01 07:24:10 PM  
1 vote:
i1.squidoocdn.comView Full Size

Don't worry it's just a rash
2012-06-01 07:22:15 PM  
1 vote:
Oh sure, "Trust me , I'm from the government." Look, I work for the government, you can't trust me. Trust me.
2012-06-01 07:19:33 PM  
1 vote:
Oh, BTW, the Phalanx vaccine is available.
2012-06-01 07:19:00 PM  
1 vote:
"CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," an agency spokesman explained.

What the agency spokesman's arm might look like:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2012-06-01 07:05:31 PM  
1 vote: Full Size
2012-06-01 07:05:05 PM  
1 vote:
Well, they *would* say that, wouldn't they?

Relatively Obscure: That's reassuring. Those stories were getting so bizarre, even though it was summer break, I was keeping my kid Carl in the hou--hey, where the fark is Carl?

He's in the house.
2012-06-01 07:05:01 PM  
1 vote:
I can't be the only one hoping for a full-scale outbreak.

It would fix most every major problem in the world.
2012-06-01 03:41:45 PM  
1 vote:

Sybarite: The CDC official was also heard to say *whisper whisper whisper*.

Lori's pregnant?
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