If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mandatory)   "Chivalry isn't dead, you stupid biatch" and 50 other funniest tweets of all time   (mandatory.com) divider line 275
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

37025 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2012 at 1:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



275 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-01 03:35:34 PM
This really happened (a few months ago):

i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-01 03:35:55 PM

Begoggle: Yeah, most of these are not funny.
I could come up with hundreds if not thousands of these ultra-random "jokes".
Zach Galifianakis is not a genius.


Post one.
 
2012-06-01 03:38:16 PM

CruJones: Write the name of someone you hate in permanent marker on you everyday so no matter how you die they'll be a suspect


This is a flawed plan. If they die before you then the first suspect will be the psycho with the victims name written on their body in multiple shades of faded marker.
 
2012-06-01 03:40:07 PM

NormalMode: "Gonna rent a storage space, stuff it w/ Yoo-Hoo, Funyuns, & Pocky, let the lease run out & blow your minds when it's opened in Storage Wars."


Teh funnay would triple if Dave Hester bought it, as he spent the rest of the show yammering on about how he was going to turn a couple dozen cases of year-old snacks into a $10,000 profit.

/yuuuuuuuuuuup!
 
2012-06-01 03:40:25 PM

omeganuepsilon: I think it's experience, some of it anyhow. People who have never seen funny shiat before are prone to guffaw at ridiculously simple stuff like children with their fake laughs.

Some people just don't grow out of that. I think some of it is programmed response. They see what's supposed to be funny and then laugh. It's a substitute for an actual sense of humor. They then project on others "why so serious" when we don't join them.

And for another group, it is mood. People tend to laugh at comics / comedies because it's the whole excitement factor, the material builds the mood. Some of these kids are just in a perpetual state of comedic arousal, and spurt at the slightest hint of humor.

Any way you want to spin it, they're really not all that refined.


LOL farking fake ass intellectual.
 
2012-06-01 03:41:58 PM
People say funnier things on fark.
Especially me.
Here's an example:
A dog and a priest go to the dry cleaners and the dog says "Can you get out the stains?"
 
2012-06-01 03:42:02 PM

fruitbatnt: kroonermanblack: Three Crooked Squirrels: I didn't laugh once. Apparently since you all did, I am dead inside. But that still doesn't change the fact that I didn't laugh once.

I didn't find any of them funny either.
+infinity
I thought "so that's what the writers of FarkTV are doing now"


oh wow Fark TV almost forgot about them. Strangely I kind of miss Fark TV because all the threads were about how horrible the video was.



Actually no, I don't miss it.
 
2012-06-01 03:42:14 PM

Fred Smythe: Teh funnay would triple if Dave Hester bought it, as he spent the rest of the show yammering on about how he was going to turn a couple dozen cases of year-old snacks into a $10,000 profit.


Dave Hester: This is a five gallon bucket of used rubbers, that's an easy $100.
 
2012-06-01 03:43:55 PM
www.blogcdn.com
 
2012-06-01 03:45:53 PM
Actually, a lot of these resemble the "Deep Thoughts" from SNL.
 
2012-06-01 03:46:11 PM

theknuckler_33: mat catastrophe: Bunnyhat: Mugato: Does anyone else have a big ad in the middle of it? I have ad block and no script.

Only using Chrome. Works in Firefox for me.

OK, that's some seriously broken shiat. Who do I blame? Chrome? The coder? Or Firefox?

Obama


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-06-01 03:51:07 PM

violentsalvation: [i798.photobucket.com image 432x148]

That one cracked me up.


Love how wigger boys be talking like dey right outa da hood.
 
2012-06-01 03:52:11 PM

mcwehrle: ban_sidhe & sure haven't:


There's open seats over here by me.

I have beer


'sup.

*ppsh*
 
2012-06-01 03:53:40 PM
Not to be a suck-up or anything, but the 50 funniest fark headlines would kick it's ass.
 
2012-06-01 03:56:16 PM

Orgasmatron138: Actually, a lot of these resemble the "Deep Thoughts" from SNL.


Yep, not a single one of those ever made me laugh, either.
Truly stupid "comedy".
People are only laughing because they think they're supposed to.
 
2012-06-01 03:56:16 PM
https://twitter.com/#!/TwopTwips
GET THAT 'sex on the beach' feeling by masturbating with your girlfriend's body scrub.
 
2012-06-01 03:58:38 PM

The Muthaship: Dave Hester: This is a five gallon bucket of used rubbers, that's an easy $100.


For sarious. He's like the anti-Pawn-Stars-guy.
 
2012-06-01 03:59:27 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I didn't laugh once. Apparently since you all did, I am dead inside. But that still doesn't change the fact that I didn't laugh once.


I didn't either.

*yawn*
 
2012-06-01 03:59:31 PM

tommydee: Not to be a suck-up or anything, but the 50 funniest fark headlines would kick it's ass.


I laugh-cried so hard at my all time favorite:
Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt
 
2012-06-01 04:00:44 PM

9Speed: violentsalvation: [i798.photobucket.com image 432x148]

That one cracked me up.

Love how wigger boys be talking like dey right outa da hood.


t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-06-01 04:00:53 PM
None could top this one until this one came along last night.
 
2012-06-01 04:04:02 PM
Those were quite funny, however I found THIS to be far more entertaining. (NSFW)
 
2012-06-01 04:04:20 PM

Aidan: omeganuepsilon: And for another group, it is mood. People tend to laugh at comics / comedies because it's the whole excitement factor, the material builds the mood. Some of these kids are just in a perpetual state of comedic arousal, and spurt at the slightest hint of humor.

Or we have shiatty jobs or stressful lives.

And we don't overthink things that're intended to be mildly entertaining.


But when you hear/read that "mildly" and go on about how you actually peed from laughing...does nothing but make you look...simple. Like a full grown adult laughing at Blue's Clues or something.

encrypted-tbn1.google.com

Gelatinous: Sorta creepy.


That's why that guy is only invited to lunch for specific reasons.
 
2012-06-01 04:12:36 PM

sure haven't:

'sup.

*ppsh*


There's some ham sammiches and cookies in the other cooler. Damn kids anyway.


Been hot, ain't it?
 
2012-06-01 04:13:15 PM

Begoggle: People are only laughing because they think they're supposed to.


I'm going to have to ponder that one for a while. People laughing...but only because they think that it is what's expected of them...
 
2012-06-01 04:17:54 PM

The Muthaship: Fred Smythe: Teh funnay would triple if Dave Hester bought it, as he spent the rest of the show yammering on about how he was going to turn a couple dozen cases of year-old snacks into a $10,000 profit.

Dave Hester: This is a five gallon bucket of used rubbers, that's an easy $100.


that's a $200 bill all day long
 
2012-06-01 04:18:12 PM
Started following this one the other day:

Link

Sometimes funny, sometimes thoughtful, always helpful.
 
2012-06-01 04:19:18 PM

TheDumbBlonde: "Rap Math: I need to pour out 40 oz to honor a fallen hommie, but I only have 12 oz cans. How many cans will I need to mourn properly? Show your work."


Simple problem for a math major: ten. Then drink 2/3rds of them.

Wait . . .
 
2012-06-01 04:19:31 PM

TheraTx: The Muthaship: Fred Smythe: Teh funnay would triple if Dave Hester bought it, as he spent the rest of the show yammering on about how he was going to turn a couple dozen cases of year-old snacks into a $10,000 profit.

Dave Hester: This is a five gallon bucket of used rubbers, that's an easy $100.

that's a $200 bill all day long


I want to go to Best Buy and get a bunch of empty boxes for expensive electronics and fill a storage locker to the brim with them, then quit paying the bill. Hilarity would definitely ensue at the auction.
 
2012-06-01 04:21:16 PM
Subby must work for FedEx because that link delivered.
 
2012-06-01 04:25:43 PM
GOOFY IS A HORSE, DAMMIT!
 
2012-06-01 04:26:05 PM
Anyway, they're funny. Makes me almost not hate Twitter. Almost.
 
2012-06-01 04:28:30 PM
I tweeted this with a much funnier headline
 
2012-06-01 04:28:51 PM
cafewitteveen.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-01 04:28:56 PM

MaxxLarge: Whoa. What the hell, internet? The vast majority of those actually WERE funny.

If I actually have to start believing headlines, I'm not gonna have any way of knowing what's real, anymore.


I came on to say that this is the first time that a '(x) of the (meanest/funniest/scariest/most disturbing) (Tweets/pictures/emails/resignation letters) of all time' list actually was good enough to be worth my time.
 
2012-06-01 04:28:57 PM
namegoeshere

GOOFY IS A HORSE, DAMMIT!

all in favor? *silence*

all opposed? neigh
 
2012-06-01 04:29:28 PM

namegoeshere: GOOFY IS A HORSE, DAMMIT!


lolwut
 
2012-06-01 04:30:19 PM

susansto-helit: [www.blogcdn.com image 432x167]

I almost hacked up a lung.



So much win. I'm still chuckling.
 
2012-06-01 04:30:36 PM

TheDumbBlonde: "Rap Math: I need to pour out 40 oz to honor a fallen hommie, but I only have 12 oz cans. How many cans will I need to mourn properly? Show your work."


zero, you only have to pour out a drink not the whole beer.
 
2012-06-01 04:30:50 PM

Begoggle: Orgasmatron138: Actually, a lot of these resemble the "Deep Thoughts" from SNL.

Yep, not a single one of those ever made me laugh, either.
Truly stupid "comedy".
People are only laughing because they think they're supposed to.


You just sound like a barrel of monkeys. I thought a lot of them were funny and I'm not easy to please humor-wise.

/boobies
//tee hee
 
2012-06-01 04:32:08 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: "Of all time" being all of what, 5 or 6 years?


Well, idf that's as long as Tweeting has been around, then the answer is Yes.
 
2012-06-01 04:40:02 PM
"Pretty sure the lead actress from 'Precious' has a twin sister that works at every Wendy's I've ever been to" lmfao

if you didn't laugh at that one, you're dead inside.
 
2012-06-01 04:41:06 PM
Guys, we are surrounded by some truly superior creatures, they may be the next evolutionary step of man. You can easily identify them because they are too "cultured" have even grinned at any of those tweets. If you show this to anyone in your office or your family and they find them to be "not funny", I suggest that you immediately bow down, because these are your new overlords.

/ I, for one, welcome our snarky overlords...
 
2012-06-01 04:41:09 PM

halfof33: Started following this one the other day:

Link

Sometimes funny, sometimes thoughtful, always helpful.


HA!
Hilary the White @hilarythewhite

@tide there is still goo in my bra until i leave to go home. irritation continues.
 
2012-06-01 04:44:55 PM

omeganuepsilon: ban_sidhe: Is this a generational thing, I wonder?

I think it's experience, some of it anyhow. People who have never seen funny shiat before are prone to guffaw at ridiculously simple stuff like children with their fake laughs.

Some people just don't grow out of that. I think some of it is programmed response. They see what's supposed to be funny and then laugh. It's a substitute for an actual sense of humor. They then project on others "why so serious" when we don't join them.

And for another group, it is mood. People tend to laugh at comics / comedies because it's the whole excitement factor, the material builds the mood. Some of these kids are just in a perpetual state of comedic arousal, and spurt at the slightest hint of humor.

Any way you want to spin it, they're really not all that refined.


Or it could be you that's the pretentious prick....

Nah, I'm sure that's not it...
 
2012-06-01 04:46:27 PM

CapnPlaty: Debeo Summa Credo: Oh, and "Tegro" was funny too. When my kid watches it I'm going to nonchalantly refer to him as that, and when my wife corrects me act all appalled.
It's attractive and successful tiger American, please


www.ngngsports.com
 
2012-06-01 04:49:02 PM

TheraTx: The Muthaship: Fred Smythe: Teh funnay would triple if Dave Hester bought it, as he spent the rest of the show yammering on about how he was going to turn a couple dozen cases of year-old snacks into a $10,000 profit.

Dave Hester: This is a five gallon bucket of used rubbers, that's an easy $100.

that's a $200 bill all day long


YUUUUP
 
2012-06-01 04:50:11 PM
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think, biatch!"
 
2012-06-01 04:50:31 PM
Put me on the list who thought these were funny.
I was giggling like a ticklish little girl at a feather factory.
 
2012-06-01 05:00:04 PM

Mikey1969: omeganuepsilon: ban_sidhe: Is this a generational thing, I wonder?

I think it's experience, some of it anyhow. People who have never seen funny shiat before are prone to guffaw at ridiculously simple stuff like children with their fake laughs.

Some people just don't grow out of that. I think some of it is programmed response. They see what's supposed to be funny and then laugh. It's a substitute for an actual sense of humor. They then project on others "why so serious" when we don't join them.

And for another group, it is mood. People tend to laugh at comics / comedies because it's the whole excitement factor, the material builds the mood. Some of these kids are just in a perpetual state of comedic arousal, and spurt at the slightest hint of humor.

Any way you want to spin it, they're really not all that refined.

Or it could be you that's the pretentious prick....

Nah, I'm sure that's not it...


No, that'd be the guy butting into the conversation between two other people calling them both wrong, because, like, it's "pretentious" for others to compare notes that you don't agree with and need to get all defensive about.
 
Displayed 50 of 275 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report