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(Mandatory)   "Chivalry isn't dead, you stupid biatch" and 50 other funniest tweets of all time   (mandatory.com) divider line 275
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37044 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2012 at 1:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-01 02:59:56 PM  

trappedspirit: Exactly 2 of "the 51 funniest tweets of all time" made me laugh out loud. I found 3 other's to be punny and about 5 that were retardo.


Thanks. Because I was wondering what you thought.
 
2012-06-01 03:00:44 PM  

BigLuca: fruitbatnt: kroonermanblack: Three Crooked Squirrels: I didn't laugh once. Apparently since you all did, I am dead inside. But that still doesn't change the fact that I didn't laugh once.

I didn't find any of them funny either.
+infinity
I thought "so that's what the writers of FarkTV are doing now"

[kontraband.se image 500x384]


That got a bigger laugh out of me than any of those tweets.

/off my lawn
 
2012-06-01 03:01:16 PM  
Wise_Guy

trappedspirit: Exactly 2 of "the 51 funniest tweets of all time" made me laugh out loud. I found 3 other's to be punny and about 5 that were retardo.

Thanks. Because I was wondering what you thought.


oh, a real wise guy, eh?
 
2012-06-01 03:01:20 PM  
@pattonoswalt: My bodyfat has the same steely determination as the dude in the song "Juke Box Hero."
 
2012-06-01 03:01:21 PM  
"Gonna rent a storage space, stuff it w/ Yoo-Hoo, Funyuns, & Pocky, let the lease run out & blow your minds when it's opened in Storage Wars."
 
2012-06-01 03:02:02 PM  
Norm Macdonald @normmacdonald

"It wasn't me who started that old crazy Asian war": Kenny Rogers at his war crimes trial
 
2012-06-01 03:02:06 PM  

mcwehrle: CapnPlaty: The one about dressing as the pizza guy was a ripoff of a Carrot Top joke.....

which is actually a rip off of a Robin Williams joke.......


In all fairness, Carrot Top may have had to shave the joke to get to the funny hidden inside.
 
2012-06-01 03:02:15 PM  
Most of these are hilarious!
 
2012-06-01 03:02:21 PM  
Ken Jennings has posted quite a few funny gems in his time.
 
2012-06-01 03:02:58 PM  

scottydoesntknow: LeroyBourne: Lebron James' ego twitter page has some hoots!
Link

They were ok, none of em quite had a ring to it though.


You didn't like the one where he says he's watching old movies of him b balling before his birthday. He had no idea what he was getting, but so good under the pressure.

busy chillin': scottydoesntknow

LeroyBourne: Lebron James' ego twitter page has some hoots!
Link

They were ok, none of em quite had a ring to it though.

SLAM!


ohhhh, I see. Nice.
 
2012-06-01 03:03:38 PM  

Wise_Guy: trappedspirit: Exactly 2 of "the 51 funniest tweets of all time" made me laugh out loud. I found 3 other's to be punny and about 5 that were retardo.

Thanks. Because I was wondering what you thought.


To be completely honest, I was waiting to click this link before reading what trappedspirit had to say. I sat there slamming F5 until I saw that post. Thank you, good spirit, thank you. I'm not going to click.
 
2012-06-01 03:04:48 PM  
ban_sidhe & sure haven't:


There's open seats over here by me.

I have beer
 
2012-06-01 03:06:10 PM  
@CorporateHRDept: Updates to the Company Health Care Plan. Due to budget cuts we will be switching from Blue Cross to The Healing Power of Christ.
 
2012-06-01 03:07:46 PM  
@isfullofcrap: Thank goodness @buildabear put "Ages 0+" on the tag. I was going to buy one for a fetus and cram it into a woman's uterus.
 
2012-06-01 03:08:41 PM  
img820.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-01 03:09:03 PM  

genepool lifeboat: Ed Grubermann: Well, that was a huge waste of time.

Welcome to FARK.


Out of all of it, this was the only thing that got a response from me. Good jerb.
 
2012-06-01 03:09:12 PM  

Unfreakable: Bonanza Jellybean: Just follow @dril

and @FarkerPeaceboy


and @spergers

/ass burgers is always relevant
 
2012-06-01 03:09:28 PM  

ban_sidhe: Is this a generational thing, I wonder?


I think it's experience, some of it anyhow. People who have never seen funny shiat before are prone to guffaw at ridiculously simple stuff like children with their fake laughs.

Some people just don't grow out of that. I think some of it is programmed response. They see what's supposed to be funny and then laugh. It's a substitute for an actual sense of humor. They then project on others "why so serious" when we don't join them.

And for another group, it is mood. People tend to laugh at comics / comedies because it's the whole excitement factor, the material builds the mood. Some of these kids are just in a perpetual state of comedic arousal, and spurt at the slightest hint of humor.

Any way you want to spin it, they're really not all that refined.
 
2012-06-01 03:09:38 PM  
My two lweast favorite things right now are "That awkard moment when..." and hashtag anything. 'That party was awesome. #gotsodrunkipuked'

Now then, get of my lawn.
 
2012-06-01 03:09:43 PM  

Pyynk: mcwehrle: CapnPlaty: The one about dressing as the pizza guy was a ripoff of a Carrot Top joke.....

which is actually a rip off of a Robin Williams joke.......

In all fairness, Carrot Top may have had to shave the joke to get to the funny hidden inside.


YOU just got funny click'd......

that is way funnier than any of the twits tweets
:^)
 
2012-06-01 03:10:44 PM  
I liked the sad news delivered by hot women link at the bottom
 
2012-06-01 03:11:25 PM  

TheDumbBlonde: "Rap Math: I need to pour out 40 oz to honor a fallen homie, but I only have 12 oz cans. How many cans will I need to mourn properly? Show your work."


This was my favorite one too.
 
2012-06-01 03:12:16 PM  
CapnPlaty

@CorporateHRDept: Updates to the Company Health Care Plan. Due to budget cuts we will be switching from Blue Cross to The Healing Power of Christ.

LOL...i went to check more of their tweets (shiver) and got many lulz. thanks.

/that guy won't like 'em
 
2012-06-01 03:13:12 PM  
Just here to post comment saying how dreadfully unfunny this and everything else in the world is.
 
2012-06-01 03:13:44 PM  
I can believe that these are the best. I can also believe that twitter sucks donkey balls.

/In fact, I believe both of those things.
 
2012-06-01 03:14:02 PM  
Those were funny? Are all you people brain damaged?

Oh wait, that sentence is out of order -- all you people are brain damaged!
 
GBB
2012-06-01 03:15:14 PM  

stevie1der: ATTENTION PLEASE


I just want you all to know that I found some of the tweets to be funny and was not entertained by the others.

Thank you for your time.


THIS!!!
 
2012-06-01 03:15:48 PM  
You read a maximum of 7140 characters. Quit complaining.
 
2012-06-01 03:16:38 PM  
I can't believe a few of the funny ones were written by women..
 
2012-06-01 03:16:41 PM  
What's a "tweet"?
 
2012-06-01 03:17:04 PM  
Not one mention of Colbert? Everyone knows the best tweets came from the Jon Kyl #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement protest.
 
2012-06-01 03:17:55 PM  
I'd just like to remind everyone that these were:

{ } Funny
{ } Not Funny
 
2012-06-01 03:22:29 PM  

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-01 03:22:38 PM  

GOB: fark livers!


high five!
 
2012-06-01 03:22:46 PM  

Wise_Guy: trappedspirit: Exactly 2 of "the 51 funniest tweets of all time" made me laugh out loud. I found 3 other's to be punny and about 5 that were retardo.

Thanks. Because I was wondering what you thought.


That's right. I keep forgetting that forums are for posting other people's opinions. Not mine. Thanks for keeping me on track. Maybe next time I wont look like such a colossal fool.
 
2012-06-01 03:23:33 PM  

Eternal Virgin: I can't believe a few of the funny ones were written by women..


That statement explains a lot about your fark name.
 
2012-06-01 03:24:02 PM  
Are we all reading the same stuff? I don't see how any of this garbage is funny.

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-06-01 03:24:51 PM  
I have a magic vagina!
 
2012-06-01 03:25:20 PM  
Reading all those Tweets reminded me of my days doing stand-up. At amateur nights you'd have 20+ comics doing 5 minutes each and you'd just try to keep things moving as people went out there and said stupid stuff, their friends in the crowd laughed hysterically, and then they left. Most of these tweets were like that. Except 5 or 6 which were legitimately funny.

Yeah, I'm aware "funny" is pretty much as personal as it gets: an immediate gut-reaction to something that you really can't explain. But good jokes and bad jokes are discernible; the former generate momentum while the latter kill it dead. And there were a few in there that brought everything to halt.

A note: absurdism as vehicle for comedy is only as good as its link (as loose as it may be) to reality: the seagull tweet is amusing. The old banana in your pocket routine interrupted with the addition of "bread" and imagery of seagulls. While the dog in a convertible and hulk hogan on a leash has no real tie to anything.

Clearly, comedy is not to be enjoyed but picked apart and analyzed, and used to prove someone right or wrong about their gut reactions to things, especially when it involves their own personal enjoyment.

28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-06-01 03:25:35 PM  
Don't forget these

i140.photobucket.com

cdn2.holytaco.com
 
2012-06-01 03:26:55 PM  

violentsalvation: That one cracked me up.


That was the only one I chuckled at on the first page. Really disappointed that this group is the funniest ever.
 
2012-06-01 03:28:55 PM  

Saracuda: I have a magic vagina!@postpicsyouknowthedrillEIP

/fixed that for everyone
 
2012-06-01 03:29:37 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: Oh, and "Tegro" was funny too. When my kid watches it I'm going to nonchalantly refer to him as that, and when my wife corrects me act all appalled.


It should really be Bengal-American Tiger.
 
2012-06-01 03:29:59 PM  

omeganuepsilon: And for another group, it is mood. People tend to laugh at comics / comedies because it's the whole excitement factor, the material builds the mood. Some of these kids are just in a perpetual state of comedic arousal, and spurt at the slightest hint of humor.


Or we have shiatty jobs or stressful lives.

And we don't overthink things that're intended to be mildly entertaining.
 
2012-06-01 03:29:59 PM  

omeganuepsilon: They see what's supposed to be funny and then laugh. It's a substitute for an actual sense of humor.


Agree completely. Years ago I had a roommate who held a gathering I wasn't invited to (neither was the 3rd roommate). From my room, I could only hear their laughter. It was like a laugh track -- I knew exactly, down to the second, when they were going to laugh. These were not people with keen senses of humor, either (poli sci grad students), so it's unlikely they were actually saying anything funny. Instead, over the years they'd been programmed by their televisions to insert laughter at socially appropriate times. Sorta creepy.

Humor is probably the most contentious taste issue out there (way more so than music). I recommend laughing at what you like and just accepting there's a lot of comedy that you're simply not going to find funny.
 
2012-06-01 03:30:40 PM  
www.img404.com
 
2012-06-01 03:31:49 PM  
Rob Delaney's tweets are hella funny. Roger Ebert is always interesting.
 
2012-06-01 03:32:17 PM  
Jedi one made me lose it.
 
2012-06-01 03:33:46 PM  
My favourite tweet was from Jimmy Carr:

'If you have a parrot, and you don't teach it to say "Help! They've turned me into a parrot!" then you are wasting everybodys time.'

/posted this same thing on Reddit earlier today
//spending less time on Fark nowadays and more on Reddit because Drew and the mods are letting the trolls run rampant on the Politics tab. Fark that.for a joke.
 
2012-06-01 03:35:09 PM  
Yeah, most of these are not funny.
I could come up with hundreds if not thousands of these ultra-random "jokes".
Zach Galifianakis is not a genius.
 
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