If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Seacoastonline.com)   Slow news day in New Hampshire as "Uncooperative turtle draws police response"   (seacoastonline.com) divider line 34
    More: Silly, New Hampshire, turtle graphics, coax, turtles  
•       •       •

2587 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2012 at 9:24 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-06-01 09:28:02 AM
Live Free or Snap!
 
2012-06-01 09:30:39 AM
Grandpa would have had that sucker cleaned and the stew pot going before the cops got out of the car.
Damn I miss gramps!
 
2012-06-01 09:31:24 AM
At first, officers Josh McCain and Bob Lukacz tried to coax the turtle out from beneath the motorcycle by attempting to have it bite onto a stick.
...the officers were able to trap the turtle in a postal service box, pushing the reptile into the box with a stick.


Someone fetch me my turtle stick. We got a turtle to move.
 
2012-06-01 09:36:50 AM
Yup.
 
2012-06-01 09:37:01 AM
Oh, sure, it doesn't sound like a big deal, until you discover that this:

upload.wikimedia.org

is the uncooperative turtle in question.
 
2012-06-01 09:37:28 AM
Since it was "being uncooperative" and "not complying with orders," did they tase it a half dozen times?
 
2012-06-01 09:37:51 AM
Concerned:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-01 09:42:33 AM
I've always found that a tall latte or laxatives help shift an uncooperative turtle.
 
2012-06-01 09:43:48 AM
www.maniacworld.com
 
2012-06-01 09:46:08 AM
That 'police response' doesn't look drawn to me...more likely 'shopped.

/pixels
//etc
 
2012-06-01 09:50:14 AM
Sounds like my honeymoon.
 
2012-06-01 09:50:38 AM
This probably qualifies as a regular news day up in NH. It's either this or stupid shenanigans in their House of Representatives.
 
2012-06-01 09:53:19 AM
"The officers considered picking up the turtle, but decided against it due to the lack of safety gloves."

Were they afraid of the deadly toxins in the turtle's poisonous stinger or perhaps the razor sharp claws that can disembowel in the blink of an eye?

Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?
 
2012-06-01 09:58:58 AM

the ham sap gwailo: I've always found that a tall latte or laxatives help shift an uncooperative turtle.


i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-01 09:59:29 AM
I live in this area. I prefer 'news' stories like this over the recent shiat. Cops getting shot and killed, and nuclear submarines catching fire isn't supposed to happen here.
 
2012-06-01 10:00:23 AM
Better then all the murders we've been having...

Incansus: "The officers considered picking up the turtle, but decided against it due to the lack of safety gloves."

Were they afraid of the deadly toxins in the turtle's poisonous stinger or perhaps the razor sharp claws that can disembowel in the blink of an eye?

Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?


you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips, and i will take a slow new day any time. better than all of the murders we've been having...
 
2012-06-01 10:04:54 AM

Incansus: "The officers considered picking up the turtle, but decided against it due to the lack of safety gloves."

Were they afraid of the deadly toxins in the turtle's poisonous stinger or perhaps the razor sharp claws that can disembowel in the blink of an eye?

Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?


You're not familiar with what a snapping turtle can do, are you?

Go to youtube and search for "snapping turtle bite".
 
2012-06-01 10:10:43 AM
We've become so helpless that we call the police about turtles now? And then they won't pick it up without safety gloves? We're doomed.
 
2012-06-01 10:11:22 AM

tedthebellhopp: Better then all the murders we've been having...Incansus: "The officers considered picking up the turtle, but decided against it due to the lack of safety gloves."

Were they afraid of the deadly toxins in the turtle's poisonous stinger or perhaps the razor sharp claws that can disembowel in the blink of an eye?

Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?

you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips, and i will take a slow new day any time. better than all of the murders we've been having...


This.
And, they won't let go until it thunders!

/Old rural tales stick with you...
 
2012-06-01 10:13:31 AM
I was right next door to this excitement and didn't know it.... how'd I miss it???
 
2012-06-01 10:16:03 AM

Bedstead Polisher: At first, officers Josh McCain and Bob Lukacz tried to coax the turtle out from beneath the motorcycle by attempting to have it bite onto a stick.
...the officers were able to trap the turtle in a postal service box, pushing the reptile into the box with a stick.

Someone fetch me my turtle stick. We got a turtle to move.


The mental image of this made me giggle
 
2012-06-01 10:26:37 AM
Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?

Um yeah, snapper with a shell over a foot long, you should probably wear welding gloves, that thing will take a finger off.
 
2012-06-01 10:31:48 AM
Actually, this is NOT a slow news day in NH, this is HUGE NEWS. Slow news days here are when mundane things happen like when the moose go swimming in your pool (With helpful pic of Police Officer herding a moose with pool implements)

/we also do, hikers go missing, bikers in a crash, and something flew over NH airspace.
//The traffic reports are hilarious, think of a really inept weather guy giving a 3-day forecast, but for the roads. Oh, and there's only 1 channel for the ENTIRE state.
 
2012-06-01 10:52:33 AM

tedthebellhopp:
you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips...


So you're telling us you're a country boy who has never picked up a snapping turtle?

They have a nasty bite, but it's an old wive's tale that they can amputate a finger or snap a broom handle.

If they're too heavy to pick up by the rear of the shell, just grab their hind legs. Be prepared to get peed on.

(Found a big one by the side of the road a few days ago, put it in our garden and watched it lay eggs with my son, then let it go in a swamp.)
 
2012-06-01 11:06:18 AM
Came across somewhat of a similar situation this past weekend while bike riding... ornery snapping turtle was in the middle of the road. A few cars were pulled over and people were trying to figure out how to get it out of the middle of the road. My husband found himself a turtle stick, poked it a few times to no avail. Other than pissing the turtle off, we got nowhere and left. We're guessing it got bored with all the commotion and went back into the woods 'cuz it was gone when we drove through on the way back.

Link
 
2012-06-01 11:07:44 AM
I like turtles

i27.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-01 12:22:31 PM

Oblio13: tedthebellhopp:
you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips...

So you're telling us you're a country boy who has never picked up a snapping turtle?

They have a nasty bite, but it's an old wive's tale that they can amputate a finger or snap a broom handle.

If they're too heavy to pick up by the rear of the shell, just grab their hind legs. Be prepared to get peed on.

(Found a big one by the side of the road a few days ago, put it in our garden and watched it lay eggs with my son, then let it go in a swamp.)


I'll give you broom handle, but a finger? come on, that's a pretty good size snapper.

as far as country, ehh i'm from the west Lebanon area it's not Colebrook or anything.
 
2012-06-01 12:54:23 PM
See, this is the kind of news I like hearing out of New Hampshire.
 
2012-06-01 02:56:47 PM
OCCUPY POND
 
2012-06-01 03:03:26 PM

Oblio13: tedthebellhopp:
you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips...

So you're telling us you're a country boy who has never picked up a snapping turtle?

They have a nasty bite, but it's an old wive's tale that they can amputate a finger or snap a broom handle.

If they're too heavy to pick up by the rear of the shell, just grab their hind legs. Be prepared to get peed on.

(Found a big one by the side of the road a few days ago, put it in our garden and watched it lay eggs with my son, then let it go in a swamp.)


Some time ago a farker related a great story about the mother of all alligator snappers who'd pulled herself up onto a dirt road somewhere above the Mississippi, and having to use a 6x4 as a chew toy since she snapped a 4x4 clean in half. Thing might well have been older than the state it lived in.

/Has had a couple of bruised fingers from the ornery farkers.
 
2012-06-01 05:57:35 PM

tedthebellhopp: Better then all the murders we've been having...Incansus: "The officers considered picking up the turtle, but decided against it due to the lack of safety gloves."

Were they afraid of the deadly toxins in the turtle's poisonous stinger or perhaps the razor sharp claws that can disembowel in the blink of an eye?

Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?

you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips, and i will take a slow new day any time. better than all of the murders we've been having...


Amen. It's been relatively quiet in NH lately and that's exactly the way I like it.
 
2012-06-01 06:22:46 PM
TURTLE MAN! LIVE ACTION!
 
2012-06-01 06:58:14 PM

FriarReb98: I was right next door to this excitement and didn't know it.... how'd I miss it???


This happened in the parking lot of my office at the time I was leaving work yesterday and I missed it!

I saw this article in the paper today and KNEW it would make Fark.
 
2012-06-02 10:56:39 AM

SarcasticFark: tedthebellhopp: Better then all the murders we've been having...Incansus: "The officers considered picking up the turtle, but decided against it due to the lack of safety gloves."

Were they afraid of the deadly toxins in the turtle's poisonous stinger or perhaps the razor sharp claws that can disembowel in the blink of an eye?

Safety gloves? To pick up a turtle?

you must live in the city, A snapping turtle will take off fingers faster then a pair of tin snips, and i will take a slow new day any time. better than all of the murders we've been having...

Amen. It's been relatively quiet in NH lately and that's exactly the way I like it.


If there was a way to have Vermont and NH secede to Ontario instead of Quebec, it might have happened by now. Values seem similar.
 
Displayed 34 of 34 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report