What fapping may look like

Who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alphalfa, or is it Spanky? Sinner

Sperm cells that have been stored for too long start to show abnormalities, such as abnormal heads, or no heads at all. For that reason a regular turnover - of between three and five days, it is estimated - is important in the context of reproduction.

Interesting. Didn't know sperm had a sell-by date.

subby's a fapper
he's a rapper
he's a midnight clapper

get's his lovin' on the run

he's a joker
he's a stroker
when he dreams of poke her

/just kidding

i don't want to masturbate
but i have to
so i don't rape random people

.

This is why I own stock in Kimberly-Clark.

Jon iz teh kewl: i don't want to masturbate
but i have to
so i don't rape random people

I thought I was the only one.

F.A.P. stands for Factory Authorized Part.

The author sounds fat.
We all get what's coming to us.

Benefits of fapping include:
You don't have to deal with personality conflict
No one's heart gets broken
No one gets an STD
When it's over, you get to sleep peacefully.

Negatives include:
More emotional detachment during sex
Not being "ready" for real sex if you over indulge
Putting orgasms on a pedestal, and becoming depressed when you don't get one.
Trading an interest in sex for an interest in porn.
(that is, losing interest in actual relationships, and being complacent about its surrogate)

Buffet: F.A.P. stands for Factory Authorized Part.

Foster Auto Parts.

Just in time for the weekend!

fusillade762: Buffet: F.A.P. stands for Factory Authorized Part.

Foster Auto Parts.

[s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 425x407]

*ahem*.

Ain't no law against it yet.

hey guys! i think people do like orgasms after all!

If you misspell mastrubation in a Google search, it will not correct you or offer a correction, even with SafeSearch off.

Wankers.

I thought this would have turned into a BIE/WIE thread so we can do first-hand research.

/EIP

To quote the late Richard Jeni:

"90% of all men masturbate. The other 10%...no hands! Prove it!"
"60% of all women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath."

I plan to masturbate even after I'm dead. I figure I'll have a hell of a boner.

Everyone does it, but I think females are more likely to lie about it.

The ex claimed she never ever did/does it - and was in fact disgusted that I was so glib on the subject as I assume it's quite normal and such. After 23 years I would bet a kidney that she was, in fact, not lying. Some women simply don't have physical or sexual desires. The topic was akin to trying to describe the subtle differences in hues and tones to Stevie Wonder...

So in my head, Subby's headline sounded like a Cheerleader's cheer...

Unhip1: The author sounds fat.
We all get what's coming to us.

Benefits of fapping include:
You don't have to deal with personality conflict
No one's heart gets broken
No one gets an STD
When it's over, you get to sleep peacefully.

Negatives include:
More emotional detachment during sex
Not being "ready" for real sex if you over indulge
Putting orgasms on a pedestal, and becoming depressed when you don't get one.
Trading an interest in sex for an interest in porn.
(that is, losing interest in actual relationships, and being complacent about its surrogate)

You sound like a virgin.

Wanking is nice, but to think that matrubation can replace sex is just naive fear.

Explains why so many fundies are angry and stressed out all the time.

Paging farker "The Onanist" to aisle one for "cleanup."

Is this the thread where we post pictures of ourselves masturbating? No? Oh.....

bump: Everyone does it, but I think females are more likely to lie about it.

The ex claimed she never ever did/does it - and was in fact disgusted that I was so glib on the subject as I assume it's quite normal and such. After 23 years I would bet a kidney that she was, in fact, not lying. Some women simply don't have physical or sexual desires. The topic was akin to trying to describe the subtle differences in hues and tones to Stevie Wonder...

Same here. I recently had a vasectomy, and hinted toward my wife that she's invited to be a part of the sample-collection process. (For those who don't know, four separate ejaculations are examined to show no sperm are present before getting the "all clear" to start farking again). She wants nothing to do with it; coming into an examination cup, "...sounds pretty weird. Just let me know when you're all clear."

Me, on the other hand? (no pun intended) If she were given the medical task of collecting some sort of orgasm resultant for examination...I'd be all over it. In fact, the thought of it makes me, um, ... er...

Good night.

Decent article with a bit of actual historical context instead of just the opinions of a random dude on the internet, but the last paragraph trailed off into such stilted prose that I wonder if the proofreader gave up beforehand.

/Take that critique as you will, coming from another random dude on the internet and all.

Mugato: That's a lot of text about beating off.

Yep. Kind of made me want to take a nap. The sleeping kind.