FARK.com: (7135421) Want to survive the zombie apocalypse in a super safe underground condo? Too bad. At only $2 million per pad, there is now a waiting list. Sucks to be you, serf

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		Want to survive the zombie apocalypse in a super safe underground condo? Too bad. At only $2 million per pad, there is now a waiting list. Sucks to be you, serf (news.cnet.com)		44
		More: Stupid, missile silos, end times, doomsday scenarios, zombie apocalypse, Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, Nibiru, technology and society, electric fences

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3675 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 May 2012 at 10:12 PM | Favorite | share:

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ThunderPelvis		2012-05-30 09:06:30 PM

Check out the website for the weapons-grade stupid...it has it all! 2012! Planet X! Global warming and unrest!

/goddamn people are gullible.

The_Sponge		2012-05-30 09:28:05 PM

My condo is already zombie proof.

/On the second floor.
//Only way through is the front door or first floor garage.

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-05-30 09:36:11 PM

So now all we need to do is convince the stupid rich farks that would buy these things that the zombie apocalypse has begun

/then once they're all in there, we weld all the doors shut

WI241TH		2012-05-30 10:08:37 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: So now all we need to do is convince the stupid rich farks that would buy these things that the zombie apocalypse has begun

/then once they're all in there, we weld all the doors shut

We may need to rethink that plan:

Dammit Florida

God-is-a-Taco		2012-05-30 10:10:39 PM

ThunderPelvis: Check out the website for the weapons-grade stupid...it has it all! 2012! Planet X! Global warming and unrest!

/goddamn people are gullible.

You don't need to be smart to be rich, as the saying goes.
The list of threats at the bottom of the main page is awesome.

One of the listed threats is interstellar debris and some sort of "gravity radiation" from the supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy.

Ignoring the obvious problems with those claims (wtf are gravametric waves, a metric is a form of measurement...), you don't hide from those events. You're farked. Your bunkermate is farked. The entire planet is farked because a gamma ray burst or a collision with a large object is an extinction event.

It'd be less absurd to put a little helmet on an ant and challenge it to a fair fight.

Kanemano		2012-05-30 10:17:20 PM

Radon

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-05-30 10:20:32 PM

WI241TH: MaudlinMutantMollusk: So now all we need to do is convince the stupid rich farks that would buy these things that the zombie apocalypse has begun

/then once they're all in there, we weld all the doors shut

We may need to rethink that plan:

Dammit Florida

Dude... that's PART of the plan

/we have to make it convincing
//slow build-up

Ackbar_GastricFluid		2012-05-30 10:33:21 PM

Towel and a thumb.

/mad I missed Towel Day last week

ArtosRC		2012-05-30 10:40:30 PM

Any word on horrific science or sociological experiments?

Clyde_Suckfinger		2012-05-30 10:47:52 PM

One of their threats is "floods."

Now...if Hurricane Katrina part 2 shows up...and you build this thing underground...wouldn't that som'bich fill up with water??? They'd end up like that mole in my backyard, when I shoved a garden hose in his little burrow.

born_yesterday		2012-05-30 10:50:31 PM

God-is-a-Taco: ThunderPelvis: Check out the website for the weapons-grade stupid...it has it all! 2012! Planet X! Global warming and unrest!

/goddamn people are gullible.

You don't need to be smart to be rich, as the saying goes.
The list of threats at the bottom of the main page is awesome.

One of the listed threats is interstellar debris and some sort of "gravity radiation" from the supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy.

Ignoring the obvious problems with those claims (wtf are gravametric waves, a metric is a form of measurement...), you don't hide from those events. You're farked. Your bunkermate is farked. The entire planet is farked because a gamma ray burst or a collision with a large object is an extinction event.

It'd be less absurd to put a little helmet on an ant and challenge it to a fair fight.

I watched part of an episode of "doomsday preppers". These people reek of the "I got mine, fark you" mentality prevalent in society today...problem is, that doesn't work in long-term survival situations. What are they going to do if the food runs out, and society is still a shambles? Become one of the violent scavengers--"unprepared suckers"--they held in such contempt?

If society is struck by a cataclysmic event, the ones to survive long-term will be the people that are the first to cooperate to rebuild, to share, and to form groups large enough to allow for specialization and division of labor. Not the assfark with a year's worth of oatmeal and a shotgun.

Mrbogey		2012-05-30 10:50:40 PM

Kanemano: Radon

Considering the missile silo itself was built by the military decades ago, I'm guessing that there's at least a framework for handling things like that already.

Flappyhead		2012-05-30 10:57:37 PM

ArtosRC: Any word on horrific science or sociological experiments?

Gary?

Kanemano		2012-05-30 11:07:16 PM

Mrbogey: Kanemano: Radon

Considering the missile silo itself was built by the military decades ago, I'm guessing that there's at least a framework for handling things like that already.

not for 24 hours a day living, for several years.

that was just one of the reasons people were rotated out.

poot_rootbeer		2012-05-30 11:11:29 PM

Clyde_Suckfinger: if Hurricane Katrina part 2 shows up...and you build this thing underground...wouldn't that som'bich fill up with water???

A lot of the old missile silos were filled up with water when they were decommissioned. Water that stood still for decades, leeching poisonous chemicals out of the green-painted steel cabinets that passed for military electronics back in the 1950s.

You willing to bet $2 million and the future of the human race that they got ALL the toxins out of that silo when they converted it into residential space?

Cyno01		2012-05-30 11:12:29 PM

Considering the price of tiny downtown condos around here, $2 mil for something that size, especially in a converted missile silo (im sure the government sold them cheap, but not THAT cheap) this doesnt seem like that bad a deal.

naveline		2012-05-30 11:12:39 PM

Yeah, "hide out in a condo." How the fark am I going to dance naked at church to "War" and loot and pillage and steal and take slave captives if I'm all a-tremble and hiding out in a squirrel nest? Are you not aware of the incredible thronging numbers of people who are just itching for a zombie apoca-wackiness? I'd wager for every zombie there would be two geeky DIY hipster doofuses with a flame thrower just itching for the chance to burn a zomb' and follow it up with an ironic remark like "That's hot" or "I saw this on Boing Boing"

Basically. . . I think you're missing the point of the apocalypse.

SweetSilverBlues		2012-05-30 11:20:20 PM

Have these people never watched horror, sci-fi, manga, anime?

These places ALWAYS fail. Catastrophically.

Just force feed 'em a cyanide pill upon arrival so there are more cobwebby, dust covered non-perishable supplies for the real survivors to find.

Honestly.

ArcadianRefugee		2012-05-30 11:23:20 PM

Kanemano: Radon

What Radon may look like:

upload.wikimedia.org

Znuh		2012-05-30 11:23:33 PM

Hrm.

I really, really, really want to own and convert an Atlas grade silo.

How cool? Ultimate Fallout III Digs.

/drooooooooooooooool

TruBluTroll		2012-05-30 11:27:04 PM

They might be covered in any of the doomsday scenarios they listed, but wouldn't living in the site of a formerly strategic missile silo put them at the top of some dusty high priority target list in some forgotten cold war-era Russian missile bunker?

albuquerquehalsey		2012-05-30 11:28:57 PM

Flappyhead: ArtosRC: Any word on horrific science or sociological experiments?

Gary?

Gaaaaaaaaaaarrry!

poot_rootbeer		2012-05-30 11:33:55 PM

Cyno01: $2 mil for something that size, especially in a converted missile silo (im sure the government sold them cheap, but not THAT cheap) this doesnt seem like that bad a deal.

You can buy an entire Atlas missile site, including a converted silo, luxury surface home, private runway, and hundreds of acres of further developable land for well under $2 million.

http://www.missilebases.com/adironback

Who wants to go innsies on it with me? We can put some cots and beer fridges in and have a Perpetual Underground Fark Party.

Mrbogey		2012-05-30 11:35:46 PM

Kanemano: not for 24 hours a day living, for several years.

that was just one of the reasons people were rotated out.

With a hole that big and deep, there are other heavy gases that would cause trouble. Methane, Nitrogen, CO2 are all major concerns. Radon exposure would be a concern but you're talking about an apocalypse scenario. Radon isn't the worst thing in that case. Ventilation would solve the majority of the toxicity concerns.

StoneColdAtheist		2012-05-30 11:49:31 PM

FTFA: Just so they won't go insane, the silo would also have facilities like a spa, movie theater, classrooms, a bar, and a pool.

For the record, there isn't enough booze in existence to keep me from going insane after several years locked up in an 1820 square foot cell.

Cyno01		2012-05-31 12:00:06 AM

Chunks McGunks		2012-05-31 12:34:09 AM

So it's 1820 sq feet and 15 floors? How does that work?

UsikFark		2012-05-31 12:35:22 AM

poot_rootbeer: Cyno01: $2 mil for something that size, especially in a converted missile silo (im sure the government sold them cheap, but not THAT cheap) this doesnt seem like that bad a deal.

You can buy an entire Atlas missile site, including a converted silo, luxury surface home, private runway, and hundreds of acres of further developable land for well under $2 million.

http://www.missilebases.com/adironback

Who wants to go innsies on it with me? We can put some cots and beer fridges in and have a Perpetual Underground Fark Party.

Day 6: discarded beer bottles attract insects.
Day 20: Lower levels accumulate thick, moldy layer of pizza boxes, beer can furniture, car keys, pocket detritus, and some of the weaker Farkers.
Day 60: Bottom two levels claimed by "foreboding assertive" nest of cockroaches; accumulate trash with the assistance of gravity.
Day 80: Seeping fluids have caused the cardboard filling to expand dramatically, warping and cracking the lower concrete floors.
Day 120: remaining two levels sealed off from trash crypt with poorly mixed cement and mud.
Day 200: entire site sealed off, declared Fark monument.
Day ~50,000: Much of the formerly-underground structure has been exposed by upheaval and erosion. Small patch of short-fungi prairie thrives in shadow, protected from extreme UV light and alkali dust storms. Roving reptile-barnacle obligates form colony in deep network of tunnels through solidified interior.

links136		2012-05-31 12:42:28 AM

all you farking need to do for the zombie apocalypse is wait for farking winter, all the zombies freeze done.

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-05-31 01:09:14 AM

Chunks McGunks: So it's 1820 sq feet and 15 floors? How does that work?

Let's just say you won't need a StairMaster

Satanic_Hamster		2012-05-31 01:19:59 AM

I wouldn't trust that moron to build a tree house, much less a bunker that we'd depend on his planning for air, food, and water.

wildcardjack		2012-05-31 01:26:17 AM

Chunks McGunks: So it's 1820 sq feet and 15 floors? How does that work?

They're 1820 sqft CONDOS. Yes, after the end of the world you wind up with neighbors who share your belief in an end of the world scenario.

And I doubt the first couple of layers are deep enough to protect you from a cobalt bomb, that would require mine shafts.

I'd actually be cool with the idea of a private underground residence. I might actually be able to get some silence. Or at least reduce things down to just the level of the air handlers.

MrSteve007		2012-05-31 01:44:17 AM

Clyde_Suckfinger: One of their threats is "floods."

Now...if Hurricane Katrina part 2 shows up...and you build this thing underground...wouldn't that som'bich fill up with water??? They'd end up like that mole in my backyard, when I shoved a garden hose in his little burrow.

Here is WA State, you can scuba dive in a flooded Titan silo. I'm thinking of going in a couple of weeks, once I stock up on some NukaCola & RadAway:
www.underseaadventures.net

Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash		2012-05-31 02:07:50 AM

links136: all you farking need to do for the zombie apocalypse is wait for farking winter, all the zombies freeze done.

Unless they're Nazis.

diaphoresis		2012-05-31 02:29:45 AM

I have 2 of them reserved already. I'm winning the lottery sometime next month.

/How do you order pizza during a zombie apocolypse anyway?

dyhchong		2012-05-31 04:21:41 AM

Znuh: Hrm.

I really, really, really want to own and convert an Atlas grade silo.

How cool? Ultimate Fallout III Digs.

/drooooooooooooooool

This, I've always wanted to own and convert one into a house just for the pure novelty. I reckon it would be the coolest thing ever if done properly, could even have a bat cave at the bottom. Or even turn one into the world's coolest office building.

madcan34		2012-05-31 06:43:19 AM

Everyone knows that you don't use bunkers during a zombie apocalypse - they can fall a lot easier than they can climb

PizzaJedi81		2012-05-31 07:35:50 AM

Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: Unless they're Nazis.

Or sheep.

Grither		2012-05-31 08:36:32 AM

MrSteve007: Here is WA State, you can scuba dive in a flooded Titan silo. I'm thinking of going in a couple of weeks, once I stock up on some NukaCola & RadAway:

Wow, that looks awesome!

davideggy		2012-05-31 10:10:39 AM

Seeing as nuclear war probably has to be one of the more likely of these doomsday scenarios, is it really wise to set up shop at a location that may very well be a primary target? Sure, the US government and you know that it's an abandoned nuclear missile silo, but do you think the people launching nukes at us are going to take our government's word for it, assuming they are even told such things?

palelizard		2012-05-31 10:20:38 AM

Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: links136: all you farking need to do for the zombie apocalypse is wait for farking winter, all the zombies freeze done.

Unless they're Nazis.

Those were magic/curse zombies. They only die as the narrative demands.

madgonad		2012-05-31 01:52:34 PM

The diameter of the hole in the ground isn't much more than 50' - not exactly huge. Now the 174' depth is a pretty nice hole. Going by their renderings it looks like the underground portion is made up of seven residential floors and seven common / mechanical floors. It looks like the $2M per floor price tag will only generate $14M to build with - and 50k square feet with a lot of pricey HVAC and water management has got to have a stiff price. Remember, there is actually more 'commonly owned' square footage than there is privately owned.

For comparison, you can buy a similarly sized office building in Phoenix for anywhere between $5-12M, depending on location.

bel4sucks		2012-05-31 07:03:43 PM

davideggy: Seeing as nuclear war probably has to be one of the more likely of these doomsday scenarios, is it really wise to set up shop at a location that may very well be a primary target? Sure, the US government and you know that it's an abandoned nuclear missile silo, but do you think the people launching nukes at us are going to take our government's word for it, assuming they are even told such things?

They don't hit the ground an explode like a cartoon.