If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Foobies)   Ever wondered what it feels like to be 75? Try the all new 'age suit'   (thelocal.de) divider line 88
    More: Scary, physical effects, industrial designer, social change, cataracts, teaching hospitals, kevlar  
•       •       •

10458 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 May 2012 at 1:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-30 10:10:10 PM  
Anyone a little bit reminded of Harrison Bergeron?
 
2012-05-30 11:03:25 PM  
No need. I figure I'll have plenty of time to experience old age when the time is right. And if not... well, that means I'll have gone away without experiencing chronic pain, loss of bladder control, and watching all my friends die around me, so no real loss there, either.
 
2012-05-31 01:10:38 AM  
They never tell you when you're younger that being an adult means paying bills and having back pain.
 
2012-05-31 01:11:31 AM  
Hrrumph
leblogdesovena.com
 
2012-05-31 01:17:07 AM  
Except that all that BS comes on slowly over the course of years. Otherwise it's exactly like being 75. Exactly.
 
2012-05-31 01:18:10 AM  
your dad wears new age suits.
 
2012-05-31 01:18:15 AM  

phrawgh: Hrrumph
[leblogdesovena.com image 450x460]


He's an urban spaceman.
 
2012-05-31 01:18:21 AM  
What does 75 year old tail taste like?

Depends.
 
2012-05-31 01:21:23 AM  

TheVeryDeadIanMartin: phrawgh: Hrrumph
[leblogdesovena.com image 450x460]

He's an urban spaceman.


Looks a bit like Jamiroquai.
 
2012-05-31 01:21:31 AM  
That suit is crap. I have parents who are in their seventies. One is in a nursing home with no kidneys, the other is in a wheelchair due to 65 yrs of smoking, liver damaged beyond repair due to excessive drinking, and is shocked (every 3 hrs) that he is wearing adults diapers.

FALSE ADVERTISING!!!
 
2012-05-31 01:22:27 AM  
Why the fark can't they invent a suit to make a 75 year old person feel like they're 25 again? That would be worth the development money.
 
2012-05-31 01:23:43 AM  
My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.
 
2012-05-31 01:23:54 AM  
My 88-year-old mother-in-law would love something like that. Gyroscopic balance control, laser-guided, auto-steadied hands....she'd be awesome.
 
2012-05-31 01:24:48 AM  
I think it is crazy that they were able to completely sum up the universal feeling of "75". I had no idea that every single person of that age had the exact same maladies and woes.

Here I thought that some people took better care of themselves than others, and their outcome was different because of that. Guess I better start smoking. Pass the butter!
 
2012-05-31 01:25:40 AM  

Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 30 and never moved out of your mom's basement.


FTFY
 
2012-05-31 01:29:30 AM  

diaphoresis: Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 30 and never moved out of your mom's basement.

FTFY


My big toes have osteoarthritis from busting them in high school, something funky in my back from lifting something that was way too heavy for me, and shoulder that shifts out of socket from a volleyball injury from way back.

Exercise is no guarantee to be pain free. Just ask any former extreme mountain biker with busted up wrists and head injuries.
 
2012-05-31 01:30:13 AM  

At 45 - posting stupid stuff on Fark.com


At 75 - posting stupid stuff on WebMD

 
2012-05-31 01:30:21 AM  
I've thrown out my back and suffered from vertigo at the same time.
So I'm familiar with taking 20 min. to get out of bed and hobbling around with a cane while feeling like 12 kinds of shiat.

The difference is, of course, that when you are 75 you have no expectation of getting better.
 
2012-05-31 01:33:06 AM  

skinink: At 45 - posting stupid stuff on Fark.com


You should rent Last Tango in Paris.
 
2012-05-31 01:33:23 AM  
So, if an individual eighty years of age or older were to wear the suit continuously, would he or she become immortal?
 
2012-05-31 01:33:52 AM  

FunkOut: They never tell you when you're younger that being an adult means paying bills and having back pain.


I recall my parents telling me that quite frequently.
 
2012-05-31 01:36:21 AM  
Except the suit doesn't mimic one of the biggest parts: decrease in mental ability. Forgetting how to use technology, new ideas and concepts failing to stick, thinking that you're still living in a world of 40 years ago. The suit can't replicate those things. And those are some of the things that incapacitate old people the most.
 
2012-05-31 01:37:04 AM  
Does it also make you think the nurse is stealing from you?
 
2012-05-31 01:37:34 AM  

This text is now purple: FunkOut: They never tell you when you're younger that being an adult means paying bills and having back pain.

I recall my parents telling me that quite frequently.


Mine acted like it was all the Cherry Coke and Doritos you could eat. Of course, they are ambitionless muddleheads who are fixated on snackfoods.
 
2012-05-31 01:40:19 AM  
There's an 80+ year old guy working at a hardware store in my town. Seems to get around just fine. Still sharp. Will talk your ear off if you let him, beware.

/ They don't tell you when you're young that 18 to 35 is "your life".

// After that, it's all a slowly worsening battle to control damage on a ship that eventually sinks anyway.
 
2012-05-31 01:43:23 AM  
If a 75 year old dons the suit, do they feel 150? Or is there some parabolic algorithm of diminishing returns that caps out at 110 and you start to hear citar music and pass out?

/high
//pseudo-scientific doobage-derpage
 
2012-05-31 01:43:33 AM  

studebaker hoch: / They don't tell you when you're young that 18 to 35 is "your life".


My dad told me 40-50 and not to miss out during those years.
But when I tried to talk about my Chinese mistress he didn't want to hear about it.
Follow his advice and that's what you get?
 
2012-05-31 01:46:44 AM  

taurusowner: Forgetting how to use technology, new ideas and concepts failing to stick, thinking that you're still living in a world of 40 years ago.


So you're saying it's like living in New Zealand?
 
2012-05-31 01:48:52 AM  
When I was in med school, they simulated aging by having us put empty toilet-paper rolls over our first 3 fingers on each hand, wear shooting-range style ear muffs, and wear these sunglasses that were basically sprayed with paint.

They then handed us a standard hospital intake form, and told us to fill it out, all while the instructors went around from table to table, and yelled at us for not being quicker.

It was very hard to take the simulation seriously, and many of us just started laughing.
 
2012-05-31 01:53:56 AM  

Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.


bwahahaha! yes, fully ignore the many medical problems that might afflict a person as they age regardless of diet & life style.

high school teenage athletes that heart attack out and drop dead during sports practice - how does the body work?
 
2012-05-31 02:00:09 AM  

Gyrfalcon (favorite): My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.


Respectfully, what did your mother do for a living before she turned 50?
I'm guessing probably not an ironworker, a carpetlayer, or a roofer.
 
2012-05-31 02:02:39 AM  

KrispyKritter: high school teenage athletes that heart attack out and drop dead during sports practice - how does the body work?


It's called HOCM, and it's extremely rare.

There is no excuse for laziness.
 
2012-05-31 02:04:57 AM  

Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.


That's one of the most ignorant statements I've ever read on this site, and I spend most of my time here on the politics tab.
 
2012-05-31 02:05:06 AM  
This suit is nonsense, because it gives you sudden disabilities that you haven't had time to adjust to. In reality, barring major injuries, you get worse slowly over time, and you learn to compensate to a certain degree.
 
2012-05-31 02:06:44 AM  
I'm taking care of myself because my grandparents.
It's not because they suffered, but because they've aged very well.

The genetics are there, so I'll be trying to benefit from them.

Of course, who knows what horrible things we're doing to our bodies now that people will marvel at in 50 years. If it's corn syrup then we're farked.
 
2012-05-31 02:11:44 AM  

FunkOut: diaphoresis: Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 30 and never moved out of your mom's basement.

FTFY

My big toes have osteoarthritis from busting them in high school, something funky in my back from lifting something that was way too heavy for me, and shoulder that shifts out of socket from a volleyball injury from way back.

Exercise is no guarantee to be pain free. Just ask any former extreme mountain biker with busted up wrists and head injuries.


They say that the late Gary Nixon used to walk around 'cradling' his arms, he was so busted up from multiple motorcycle crashes.

Mick Doohan called motorcycle racing a 'cruel sport' and he has a permanently crushed foot to prove it.

Apparently the long-term effects of many of those racing injuries don't show up until you get old.
 
2012-05-31 02:15:09 AM  
Getting old sucks, but it beats the alternative.
 
2012-05-31 02:15:29 AM  
Until they can make a suit that'll let me experience what it's like to have a vagina and taking a good pounding (from a lesbian with a strap-on, of course), I'm not really interested.
 
2012-05-31 02:18:41 AM  
Middle age is your second youth.

/ Like the first, you will grow out of it
 
2012-05-31 02:19:04 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.


"Correlation does not imply causation"
 
2012-05-31 02:19:45 AM  

Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.


I cannot totally agree with your assessment. I'm 46 and fairly damn fit if I say so myself. Biked to the firm and lifted weights just today and generally do the same several days a well. Have a 16 mile hike coming up in a couple of weeks. That said, I've had about five orthopedic surgeries in the last decade including back, shoulder and knees. And arthritis in at least the knee and shoulder. Now I fully plan on staying very active for as long as I can - that's why I do all this shiat even when I may not feel like it. But I have seen that it's not always in my control despite my best efforts. I wish it was. Unfortunately, joints wear out, sooner for some than others. I feel pretty good most of the time but my connective tissue fees like it belongs to a much older person.
 
2012-05-31 02:24:07 AM  
Jesus I feel like i'm 75 sometimes. But I've abused my body for much of my life so I can only blame myself for it. But now that i'm 35 and having problems with my hands it's really hitting home. I can live with my bad knees and shoulder but when my hand freezes up in the claw or throbs all day long it reminds that those years of fun will now be paid for by many more years of pain.
 
2012-05-31 02:24:11 AM  

Public Savant: Until they can make a suit that'll let me experience what it's like to have a vagina and taking a good pounding (from a lesbian with a strap-on, of course), I'm not really interested.


Well, of course. That goes without saying.
 
2012-05-31 02:28:24 AM  

albertmdh: your dad wears new age suits.


only when he is not farking your mom
 
2012-05-31 02:39:16 AM  

Gyrfalcon: My mom is 71. She runs twice a week, works out, does not wear glasses (except to drive), has no pains or aches worth speaking of since her hip replacement, no arthritis, and full control of all her bodily functions.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyone who has "aches and pains" and all the rest of these problems--it's because you sat down at age 50 and never moved again.


My pops worked out at China Lake NAWS's gym twice a week until he was about 83.Then he started to suffer from spinal stenosis and things just went downhill from there. You can't control these things, and it's very rude to those that have sickly parents and grandparents to say that you can beat old age effects by not being lazy in the golden years.

/he's turning 92 this August, and despite being bed bound and his wife living hours away at a nursing home he refuses to give up
//Dad says his workout buddy was an older anorexic lady
 
2012-05-31 02:39:47 AM  

JohnBigBootay:
Have a 16 mile hike coming up in a couple of weeks.
...
I feel pretty good most of the time but my connective tissue fees like it belongs to a much older person.


Staying fit doesn't require you to grind your joints and tendons into dust on the side of a mountain.
If hiking is your hobby then yeah it's probably worth it, but it's definitely not doing your body any favors.
 
2012-05-31 02:41:26 AM  

fusillade762: Does it also make you think the nurse is stealing from you?


lol i accidently pocketed a seniors glasses this week. Had no idea they were in my scrubs, didn't feel them at all. I returned them immediately after noticing with profuse apologies.

/health care aide
//would never be a nurse
 
2012-05-31 02:49:43 AM  
I want a new-age suit, so I can experience what it's like to be a gullible fool who believes in crystal healing powers, channeling of star prophets and life vibrations emanating from the reincarnated souls of the Ascended Masters.
 
2012-05-31 02:52:40 AM  

buckler: I want a new-age suit, so I can experience what it's like to be a gullible fool who believes in crystal healing powers, channeling of star prophets and life vibrations emanating from the reincarnated souls of the Ascended Masters.


I imagine it'd be something like this.
 
2012-05-31 02:55:14 AM  

The 4chan Psychiatrist: I imagine it'd be something like this.


Nah, more like this.

/drip
//drip
///drip
 
Displayed 50 of 88 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report