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(The New York Times)   Formerly uber-hot Fiona Apple releases new album, completes Edward Scissorhands transformation. (PIC)   (nytimes.com) divider line 115
    More: Sad, Fiona Apple, Steve Maddens, Epic Records, Best New Artist  
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20407 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 May 2012 at 4:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-30 04:48:40 PM
Her unblinking gaze has always scared the hell out of me.
 
2012-05-30 04:51:55 PM
Is she still dating that guy who could make me disappear?
 
2012-05-30 04:57:38 PM
Fiona Applehands
 
2012-05-30 04:58:30 PM
its funny, i was wondering what ever happened to her. guess she just continued marching to the beat of her own drummer.
 
2012-05-30 04:58:45 PM
BRAAAAIIINS
 
2012-05-30 05:00:54 PM
wait a minute....Fiona Apple was "uber-hot"? Kick ass music, definitely....but uber hot? No....just no
 
2012-05-30 05:04:02 PM

Apos: Her unblinking gaze has always scared the hell out of me.


Yeah it would steal your soul and spit it out.
 
2012-05-30 05:04:10 PM

exick: Is she still dating that guy who could make me disappear?



A Gotti mafioso?
 
2012-05-30 05:04:26 PM
The poor man's Liz Phair.
 
2012-05-30 05:04:57 PM

chevydeuce: wait a minute....Fiona Apple was "uber-hot"? Kick ass music, definitely....but uber hot? No....just no


thegallant.com
 
2012-05-30 05:07:22 PM
Heroin's a helluva drug
 
2012-05-30 05:08:07 PM
16+ years of hard drinking and minimal eating will do that to a person.
 
2012-05-30 05:08:29 PM
still looks great to me, subby.
 
2012-05-30 05:10:45 PM

tlchwi02: its funny, i was wondering what ever happened to her. guess she just continued marching to the beat of her own drummer.


threadbombing.com
 
2012-05-30 05:10:51 PM

NutznGum: The poor man's Liz Phair.


The other way around is more accurate. Fiona Apple is a fantastic singer-songwriter. I really wanted to see her in NYC when I was in town in March, but the show had already sold out and tickets from scalpers cost a ransom.

thescenestar.typepad.com
 
2012-05-30 05:12:10 PM
Data Fiona Apple, she alwaya maka me cry.
 
2012-05-30 05:13:05 PM

Apos: exick: Is she still dating that guy who could make me disappear?


A Gotti mafioso?


That would make more sense than the truth, which is that her boyfriend was David Blaine.
 
2012-05-30 05:14:37 PM
I thought she gave up singing and became a weather forecaster........

Ooooh...wrong Fiona.

\obscure, unless you live in DFW.
 
2012-05-30 05:14:58 PM
I would penis here.
aux-www.s3.amazonaws.com



Side note, it seems this is a popular hair style for her
cache2.artprintimages.com
img2.bdbphotos.com
 
2012-05-30 05:17:24 PM

exick: Apos: exick: Is she still dating that guy who could make me disappear?


A Gotti mafioso?

That would make more sense than the truth, which is that her boyfriend was David Blaine.


Isn't he the one she wrote Limp about?
 
2012-05-30 05:22:31 PM
Would still wreck that with the 15 seconds I'm good for
 
2012-05-30 05:23:47 PM
Now that's the kinda crazy I like.
 
2012-05-30 05:23:53 PM

LectertheChef: exick: Apos: exick: Is she still dating that guy who could make me disappear?


A Gotti mafioso?

That would make more sense than the truth, which is that her boyfriend was David Blaine.

Isn't he the one she wrote Limp about?


♫He's limp, he's limp, he's in my bed♫?
 
2012-05-30 05:27:41 PM
"Edward Scissorhands...surely that's an exagerr *click* GAHHHH!!!!!"

/still would
 
2012-05-30 05:28:27 PM
Ok, according to the TFA, she's given up gluten. Already a vegan, had anorexia or some other crap, heavy drinking, and now she's given up yet another source of calories? That girl definitely has some screws loose. On the plus side, the crazy ones seem to make the best art. Granted, they don't live all that long, but they make great art while they're around.
 
2012-05-30 05:29:42 PM
graphics8.nytimes.com

She looks the same, just like a woman instead of a girl-child.
She always needed a sammich, she just needs two or three right no.
She's still on my make-out-and-worship list --
I'll cook her up some steaks first.
Good to go.
 
2012-05-30 05:29:42 PM
I would rape her...oh wait that is pretty low even for me. I always though she was very attractive. Personality could use some work, but she had a ruff childhood.
 
2012-05-30 05:32:17 PM
That woman seriously needs to eat a sausage.. or 12.
 
2012-05-30 05:35:48 PM
a few sammiches and...
Presto!
... she's hot again

/make it so
 
2012-05-30 05:39:13 PM
Her new look is criminal.
 
2012-05-30 05:41:24 PM

LectertheChef: Ok, according to the TFA, she's given up gluten.


When did this gluten thing become so widely accepted as a real issue?

Went from "never-heard-of-it" to "OH NOES I HAZ TEH CELLIAC!" in like no time.

Your guts-how do they work?
 
2012-05-30 05:43:04 PM
GAH! Kill it with fire, seriously. Or give it a sammich.
 
2012-05-30 05:47:45 PM

23FPB23: LectertheChef: Ok, according to the TFA, she's given up gluten.

When did this gluten thing become so widely accepted as a real issue?

Went from "never-heard-of-it" to "OH NOES I HAZ TEH CELLIAC!" in like no time.

Your guts-how do they work?


Yeah, I know. My parents are completely into it, too, but that's what happens when you move to NC...near Asheville, anyway.
 
2012-05-30 05:48:50 PM
Skinny girls have their place. It's fun to see your outline in their tummy.
 
2012-05-30 05:49:31 PM
Meh, even when she was young she was never my type, definitely "kill it with fire!" now. (/studman69)
 
2012-05-30 05:50:01 PM

23FPB23: Went from "never-heard-of-it" to "OH NOES I HAZ TEH CELLIAC!" in like no time.


Syndrome of the Week. In ten years everyone will be worried about Hodgkin's lymphoma or something.
 
2012-05-30 05:50:43 PM
Having your hair spread out for a poorly conceived photograph does not stop you from being hot, as those images clearly show.
 
2012-05-30 05:50:59 PM
She went from looking like a young heroin addict to looking like an old heroin addict.
 
2012-05-30 05:51:30 PM

ExperianScaresCthulhu: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 190x191]

She looks the same, just like a woman instead of a girl-child.
She always needed a sammich, she just needs two or three right no.
She's still on my make-out-and-worship list --
I'll cook her up some steaks first.
Good to go.


She requires an infusion of bacon, STAT!
 
2012-05-30 05:55:15 PM
She only lost like 5 lbs. from her "hot" days.
 
2012-05-30 05:57:01 PM

greatgodyoshi: 23FPB23: LectertheChef: Ok, according to the TFA, she's given up gluten.

When did this gluten thing become so widely accepted as a real issue?

Went from "never-heard-of-it" to "OH NOES I HAZ TEH CELLIAC!" in like no time.

Your guts-how do they work?

Yeah, I know. My parents are completely into it, too, but that's what happens when you move to NC...near Asheville, anyway.


Seriously, I'm sure this will come off as trollish, but in recent years all of these GI issues no one had ever heard of have become mainstream.
As if an entire generation or two have suddenly some ass-related issue that they can claim some degree of attention/sympathy for. And, ain't NOBODY gonna pry them for details.

I mean, am I to believe that some significant percentage of the BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS of human beings who subsisted on grain alone (sometimes for days/weeks) up until 10-15 years ago were all suffering in a confused, ass-burning silence?
 
2012-05-30 06:10:18 PM

23FPB23: LectertheChef: Ok, according to the TFA, she's given up gluten.

When did this gluten thing become so widely accepted as a real issue?

Went from "never-heard-of-it" to "OH NOES I HAZ TEH CELLIAC!" in like no time.

Your guts-how do they work?



She's found her "healthy" excuse to be wayyy too thin and gaunt. Yuck.
 
2012-05-30 06:11:03 PM
German Translation Dictionary:

uber=not

never hot
mildly attractive at height of career
 
2012-05-30 06:13:48 PM
Love her. Here she is on The Late Late Show. Skip to 4:35 for the interview. She doesn't seem to be anything like what her music or her sometimes creepy photos suggest. She seems quite normal, cute and just like some of the girls I've lusted over. Also, When the Pawn...is one of my favorite albums ever. It's farking superb and I have high hopes for this new album.


/And I like her.
 
2012-05-30 06:15:20 PM
When the out of date singer Hits the record charts She Thinks like a Queen What She Knows Throws the Blows When She Goes to the Fight and She'll Win the Whole Thing Fore She Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right Unless You're Not.
 
2012-05-30 06:23:53 PM
For Christs sake.....you're in the music industry. It's entertainment. It's disposable.

If you're taking everything that seriously then go help starving children in a third-world country where your efforts will amount to something.

If you're that bent on being an "artist" then ditch the big label and go it on your own.
 
2012-05-30 06:26:23 PM
As long as she still has that fantastic voice I don't care what she looks like.
 
2012-05-30 06:26:42 PM
Thank God she won't look like that until 3 days from now.
 
2012-05-30 06:27:46 PM

chevydeuce: wait a minute....Fiona Apple was "uber-hot"? Kick ass music, definitely....but uber hot? No....just no


How about "no" to both. Her music farking sucks.

She was probably popular with the Arcade Fire fans before they learned they prefer cock.
 
2012-05-30 06:28:48 PM

theorellior: 23FPB23: Went from "never-heard-of-it" to "OH NOES I HAZ TEH CELLIAC!" in like no time.

Syndrome of the Week. In ten years everyone will be worried about Hodgkin's lymphoma or something.


Right, but that's the good Hodgkin's, no?
 
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