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(Scientific American)   NC bans sea level rise; King Canute unavailable for comment   (blogs.scientificamerican.com) divider line 135
    More: Asinine, NC Constitution, King Canute, North Carolina, sea-level rise, mark knopfler, Thomas More, Charlotte Observer, shut up  
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12928 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2012 at 4:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-30 02:58:36 PM
No resolution delivering a memo to Jesus demanding an immediate lowering of ocean levels?
 
2012-05-30 03:13:08 PM
This just in.....North Carolina has put out an arrest warrant for God, Buddha, Allah, and Mother Nature, just to be safe. The warrant for Flying Spaghetti Monster was dismissed.
 
2012-05-30 03:19:13 PM
What the governor of North Carolina may now look like:
www.vroma.org
 
2012-05-30 03:25:37 PM
thefinanser.co.uk
 
2012-05-30 04:14:11 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: No resolution delivering a memo to Jesus demanding an immediate lowering of ocean levels?


4.bp.blogspot.com

I'm sure he'll ride in and save NC because of their holy legislation.
 
2012-05-30 04:22:19 PM
YOU! SHALL NOT! SPLASH!
 
2012-05-30 04:26:58 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Mr. Coffee Nerves: No resolution delivering a memo to Jesus demanding an immediate lowering of ocean levels?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 298x400]

I'm sure he'll ride in and save NC because of their holy legislation.


Jesus needs a bridle and reins to ride His dinosaur??? is the artist implying that Jesus couldn't simply send out telepathic waves to direct His dinosaur?

Is he suggesting Jesus isn't as pimp as AQUAMAN?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-05-30 04:33:28 PM
Sometimes I wonder if there is some sort of critical mass for stupidity, and what will happen if we reach it. I kind of imagine something like the breakup of Yugoslavia.
 
2012-05-30 04:34:30 PM
This isn't about religious zealotry. There's a lot of money at stake, here. If the state starts using *science* to determine sea levels, coastal developers may soon find it impossible to sell their beach-front property, and may have trouble convincing banks to lend them millions of dollars to build condos that will be underwater (literally) before the mortgage is paid off.
 
2012-05-30 04:39:52 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Because People in power are Stupid: Mr. Coffee Nerves: No resolution delivering a memo to Jesus demanding an immediate lowering of ocean levels?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 298x400]

I'm sure he'll ride in and save NC because of their holy legislation.

Jesus needs a bridle and reins to ride His dinosaur??? is the artist implying that Jesus couldn't simply send out telepathic waves to direct His dinosaur?

Is he suggesting Jesus isn't as pimp as AQUAMAN?



img.photobucket.com

Don't worry North Carolina, Obama Aquaman will save you from yourself when you sink into the ocean. (To be certain Obama Aquaman uses reins too.)
 
2012-05-30 04:59:24 PM
Hurricanes will be banned from entering NC waters!

Come one, come all!
 
2012-05-30 05:00:47 PM
Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.
 
2012-05-30 05:01:48 PM
Have they tried praying the waters back yet? i bet they will try that eventually.
 
2012-05-30 05:01:55 PM
images.wikia.com

The wind sea does not respect a fool.
 
2012-05-30 05:02:01 PM

Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.


Even if I'm just visiting for a week?
 
2012-05-30 05:02:49 PM

NeverDrunk23: Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.

Even if I'm just visiting for a week?


We can't take any chances. The data is irrefutable
 
2012-05-30 05:02:54 PM
Meanwhile, Republicans will look at this, ignore it, and continue to claim Barack Obama saying that voting for him would result in a policy change that would mark "the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow" was a) the oceans stopping their rise or more absurdly reversing, and b) a sincere expression of his belief that he had magical powers.
 
2012-05-30 05:03:58 PM
The GOP has proven time and again that facts are irrelevant to their platforms, laws, or arguments.
 
2012-05-30 05:04:02 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: No resolution delivering a memo to Jesus demanding an immediate lowering of ocean levels?


Maybe they can hold a joint prayer session with Texas and pray that the water along the North Carolina coast turns into rain over Texas.
 
2012-05-30 05:04:23 PM

Lost Thought 00: NeverDrunk23: Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.

Even if I'm just visiting for a week?

We can't take any chances. The data is irrefutable


So you would kill the 40% that voted in favor of gay marriage?
 
2012-05-30 05:04:56 PM

Isitoveryet: Have they tried praying the waters back yet? i bet they will try that eventually.


Worked great for Texas in getting rain during the drought.

Oh wait, didn't their drought get WORSE after they prayed?
 
2012-05-30 05:05:33 PM
You know, I'm starting to think we need an Atlas Shrugged movement, not with business people, but with scientists, or at least anyone who can tell a proton from a protractor. If we put our heads together, we could probably figure out a way to take over, say, Hawaii, or maybe Australia, and just ride out the coming Storm of Stupidity.
 
2012-05-30 05:06:09 PM

Lost Thought 00: NeverDrunk23: Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.

Even if I'm just visiting for a week?

We can't take any chances. The data is irrefutable


Well, I am from NJ, so nothing of value lost really.
 
2012-05-30 05:06:24 PM

Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.


'Set foot' meaning walked? What if I drove through it once but didn't exit the car in the state?
 
2012-05-30 05:06:54 PM

NeverDrunk23: Isitoveryet: Have they tried praying the waters back yet? i bet they will try that eventually.

Worked great for Texas in getting rain during the drought.

Oh wait, didn't their drought get WORSE after they prayed?


God works in mysterious ways. If you didn't know any better, it would seem rather random.
 
2012-05-30 05:07:11 PM
Huh. North Carolina is really going full-Kansas on this one.
 
jvl
2012-05-30 05:07:12 PM
That's ridiculous. Everyone knows that sea level rise started to slow because Obama was elected. He said so!
 
2012-05-30 05:07:24 PM
imgs.xkcd.com

/oblig
 
2012-05-30 05:07:27 PM

Cat Food Sandwiches: Lost Thought 00: NeverDrunk23: Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.

Even if I'm just visiting for a week?

We can't take any chances. The data is irrefutable

So you would kill the 40% that voted in favor of gay marriage?


Yep. The only good news is that according to the data, NC used to be a location of infinite intelligence not too long ago, so we may be able to resurrect former intellectual giants like Jesse Helms and have them come up with a less extreme solution.
 
2012-05-30 05:07:48 PM

Isitoveryet: Have they tried praying the waters back yet? i bet they will try that eventually.


I'm thinking if they all gathered at the low-tide mark and formed a human sea wall while praying, it would solve a lot of the problem.
 
2012-05-30 05:08:29 PM

NkThrasher: Lost Thought 00: Based on the last 2 notable laws to come out of the state, I linearly extrapolate that every single person ever to step foot in North Carolina should be immediately executed without trial or remorse.

'Set foot' meaning walked? What if I drove through it once but didn't exit the car in the state?


You're in the clear, but I'm afraid your tires must be replaced
 
2012-05-30 05:08:32 PM
This country is getting too screwed up.
 
2012-05-30 05:09:09 PM
Well, I guess if you are looking for some solace, the new regulation only applies to 'state' agencies. So, those pesky universities and non-state scientific organizations can still do real science and report their results.
 
2012-05-30 05:10:46 PM

NeverDrunk23: Isitoveryet: Have they tried praying the waters back yet? i bet they will try that eventually.

Worked great for Texas in getting rain during the drought.

Oh wait, didn't their drought get WORSE after they prayed?


The drought was eventually broken by a substantial rainstorm that coincidentally occurred on October 9, 2011, which was the final day of the Atheist Alliance International's 4th Annual Texas Freethought Convention
 
2012-05-30 05:10:53 PM
Wasn't the point of King Canute's little act to show that the world does not respect the authority of men and kings?
 
2012-05-30 05:12:25 PM

Lucky LaRue: This isn't about religious zealotry. There's a lot of money at stake, here. If the state starts using *science* to determine sea levels, coastal developers may soon find it impossible to sell their beach-front property, and may have trouble convincing banks to lend them millions of dollars to build condos that will be underwater (literally) before the mortgage is paid off.


Outer banks real estate routinely turns into ocean without any sea level rise. The banks on the coast have already developed underwater underwriting and waterproof FEMA-paperwork-bots.
 
2012-05-30 05:12:27 PM

Dimensio: NeverDrunk23: Isitoveryet: Have they tried praying the waters back yet? i bet they will try that eventually.

Worked great for Texas in getting rain during the drought.

Oh wait, didn't their drought get WORSE after they prayed?

The drought was eventually broken by a substantial rainstorm that coincidentally occurred on October 9, 2011, which was the final day of the Atheist Alliance International's 4th Annual Texas Freethought Convention


All hail AronRa!
 
2012-05-30 05:12:43 PM

from the screenshot in tfa: "Rates of sea-level rise shall not be one rate for the entire coast but, rather, the Division shall consider separately oceanfront and estuarine shorelines."

Am I missing something, here? While it might make perfectly good sense to have different policies for dealing with sea level changes on shorelines vs. estuaries,

WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL, YOU DOLTS!!!!
 
2012-05-30 05:12:54 PM
This sure looks like par for a fark AGW thread.

1. No one acually read TFA or the bill in question.

2. The fark head line is a bold face lie.

3. Fark libs dont care as long as they can bolster their own self esteem by ripping on what they think repubs say.


And they say reality has liberal bias.
 
2012-05-30 05:13:47 PM
What are they going to do? Arrest the Oceans?
 
2012-05-30 05:13:48 PM
ontariolightning: Hurricanes will be banned from entering NC waters!

Come one, come all!


They'd better hope that Pat Robertson doesn't hear of this Tarheel arrogance!


On a literary note, Ivan Denisovich is informed the Communist Party has decreed the sun reaches its zenith one hour after noon: "Can they even tell the sun what to do?"
 
2012-05-30 05:14:23 PM

Lost Thought 00: You're in the clear, but I'm afraid your tires must be replaced


I can live with that.

They needed replacing after a year in Georgia anyway.

/That adds me back into the 'kill' bucket, doesn't it?
 
2012-05-30 05:14:44 PM

phaseolus: from the screenshot in tfa: "Rates of sea-level rise shall not be one rate for the entire coast but, rather, the Division shall consider separately oceanfront and estuarine shorelines."

Am I missing something, here? While it might make perfectly good sense to have different policies for dealing with sea level changes on shorelines vs. estuaries,

WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL, YOU DOLTS!!!!


Gravity is just a theory.
 
2012-05-30 05:15:18 PM
I like to TYPE in CAPITALS to draw ATTENTION to the WORDS i like the BEST.
 
2012-05-30 05:16:01 PM

Ed Grubermann: Wasn't the point of King Canute's little act to show that the world does not respect the authority of men and kings?


Yes. A 10th Century Great Dane has a better understanding of nature and science than the 21st Century NC legislature.

It is shameful, but that's how bad it is.
 
2012-05-30 05:16:12 PM

jayhawk88: You know, I'm starting to think we need an Atlas Shrugged movement, not with business people, but with scientists, or at least anyone who can tell a proton from a protractor. If we put our heads together, we could probably figure out a way to take over, say, Hawaii, or maybe Australia, and just ride out the coming Storm of Stupidity.


mizzery can't come
 
2012-05-30 05:16:46 PM
Don't forget about Xerxes's first attempt to bridge the Hellespont. Apparently giving the sea a hundred lashes works.
 
2012-05-30 05:17:02 PM

Dr. Mojo PhD: Meanwhile, Republicans will look at this, ignore it, and continue to claim Barack Obama saying that voting for him would result in a policy change that would mark "the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow" was a) the oceans stopping their rise or more absurdly reversing, and b) a sincere expression of his belief that he had magical powers.


Are you saying that the election of Obama was ....

a sea change?

Yeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhh!
 
2012-05-30 05:21:16 PM
I have studied the sea rise estimates for global warming and have now bought hundreds of acres of foreclosed farm land on Maryland's eastern shore. In about 20 to 25 years all that farmland will be ocean front property. I should make a fortune off of it. But if for some odd reason global warming doesn't pan out I'll just lease it all to be used as a landfill. Oh wait a minute that's what the eastern shore is now! Nevermind.
 
2012-05-30 05:24:23 PM

CygnusDarius: What King Canute looks like.

[i14.mangareader.net image 640x913]


Farmland Saga! I mean... Vinland Saga!

Fark Yeah!
 
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