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(The Mary Sue)   Not content with just hearing bad dating advice? Here's bad dating advice for superheroines   (themarysue.com) divider line 28
    More: Amusing, the rules, Invisible Woman, Marco Polo, Jean Grey  
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3598 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 May 2012 at 4:01 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-30 03:00:10 PM  
"...so the invisible man says, 'I don't know but my asshole is killing me!'"
 
2012-05-30 03:09:02 PM  
Don't look in the refrigerator.
 
2012-05-30 03:37:23 PM  

Sybarite: Don't look in the refrigerator.


Also, don't look at that article for anything humorous, entertaining, well-written, or informative. You know that pathetic "you go girl" attitude that women's magazines have? The kind that tries to sound sassy but is really just more of an embarrassment for anybody outside of the "48-year-old white suburban mother" demographic? This article actually tried to sound like that and failed miserably.
 
2012-05-30 04:03:55 PM  
super heroin?

not much of a date, more of a lost weekend
 
2012-05-30 04:10:54 PM  
Traveling to the moon and committing suicide makes for very awkward conversations when you see your ex again.
 
2012-05-30 04:12:13 PM  
www.universomarvel.com.aq
 
2012-05-30 04:15:48 PM  
the-adventurers-club.typepad.com

Approves
 
2012-05-30 04:30:58 PM  

Kanemano: super heroin?

www.thedorkreport.com
 
2012-05-30 04:35:43 PM  
"Being telepathic" only works if his last name is "Summers." "Being tragically dead," works very well across the board (Daredevil, Wolverine, Magneto, Cyclops, etc.)

/wishes the article had been written by a chick more well versed in comicbook lore.
 
2012-05-30 04:36:04 PM  
Point 1: never date Hank Pym.
 
2012-05-30 04:43:09 PM  
Point 7: Work the frenemies angle. Let the sexual tension simmer with every attempt at world conquest resulting in a beating. To be sure, you will have him offering his side to rule the world by in short order.
 
2012-05-30 04:48:33 PM  
i1080.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-30 04:48:58 PM  
Forget pregnancy scares and ring shopping- the surest way to get a guy to commit is to be turned temporarily evil! He'll pledge his undying love to break the spell/brainwashing/etc., and you've got your man!
 
2012-05-30 04:57:28 PM  
No capes!
 
2012-05-30 05:21:32 PM  

Trocadero: [www.universomarvel.com.aq image 640x1016]


Did... Did... Did She Hulk just Hulk kick some guy in the nuts?

*crosses his legs protectively and sides away*
 
2012-05-30 05:58:56 PM  

Drunken_Polar_Bear: Trocadero: [www.universomarvel.com.aq image 640x1016]

Did... Did... Did She Hulk just Hulk kick some guy in the nuts?

*crosses his legs protectively and sides away*


From Wiki
Starfox was put on trial for sexual assault, accused of using his powers to seduce a happily married woman. He was defended by lawyer Jennifer Walters, the She-Hulk. The law firm which employed her, Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway, was contracted by Mentor to defend his son from the allegations. In the course of the trial, Ms. Walters came to suspect that Starfox had used his powers on her during their time in the Avengers, resulting in a brief sexual interaction. By this time, Starfox had been banned from the courtroom after it was determined that he was using his special abilities to influence the witnesses. When Jennifer Walters confronted Starfox with her suspicions via closed-circuit video link, he evaded her questions and then cut the video feed. Walters angrily charged out of the courtroom, transformed into She-Hulk, and caught Starfox as he was attempting to escape from Earth. She-Hulk dealt Starfox a savage beating, giving him no chance to defend his actions, knocked him unconscious, finally duct-taping his mouth shut to ensure that he could not use his abilities to elude punishment. However, Mentor, Starfox's father, effected his son's release by teleporting Starfox away to Titan.
Mentor eventually staged a native Titanian trial in the hopes of clearing his son's name. The Living Tribunal, interested in the equity of the process, called on She-Hulk as prosecuting attorney. Jennifer Walters, in an attempt to get to the bottom of the matter, agreed to a mind probe of both Starfox and herself. She discovered that Starfox did not use his abilities to influence her decision to sleep with him, but that he was deliberately responsible for her sudden infatuation with and marriage to John Jameson. An enraged She-Hulk once more lashed out at Starfox for toying with her life, bringing the legal proceedings to a halt.
Thanos now appeared at the trial, and testified that his brother Starfox inspired his obsession with Death when they were children, when attempting to make young Thanos accept the death of an animal he had involuntarily killed with his enormous strength. By Titanian law Eros would thus take full responsibility for all the genocides Thanos had later committed. In the following issue it was revealed that this was a false memory that Thanos implanted into Starfox's mind, and shared by a Thanos clone which the real Thanos sent. Thanos' implantation of the memory is what caused Starfox to briefly become mentally unbalanced, and use his power in this manner for the first time. Starfox agreed to have Moondragon shut them off completely rather than risk hurting more people.[26]
It is unknown if Starfox is still considered a fugitive from justice by New York State and the federal government.
 
2012-05-30 06:01:49 PM  

texdent: Drunken_Polar_Bear: Trocadero: [www.universomarvel.com.aq image 640x1016]

Did... Did... Did She Hulk just Hulk kick some guy in the nuts?

*crosses his legs protectively and sides away*

From Wiki
Starfox was put on trial for sexual assault, accused of using his powers to seduce a happily married woman. He was defended by lawyer Jennifer Walters, the She-Hulk. The law firm which employed her, Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway, was contracted by Mentor to defend his son from the allegations. In the course of the trial, Ms. Walters came to suspect that Starfox had used his powers on her during their time in the Avengers, resulting in a brief sexual interaction. By this time, Starfox had been banned from the courtroom after it was determined that he was using his special abilities to influence the witnesses. When Jennifer Walters confronted Starfox with her suspicions via closed-circuit video link, he evaded her questions and then cut the video feed. Walters angrily charged out of the courtroom, transformed into She-Hulk, and caught Starfox as he was attempting to escape from Earth. She-Hulk dealt Starfox a savage beating, giving him no chance to defend his actions, knocked him unconscious, finally duct-taping his mouth shut to ensure that he could not use his abilities to elude punishment. However, Mentor, Starfox's father, effected his son's release by teleporting Starfox away to Titan.
Mentor eventually staged a native Titanian trial in the hopes of clearing his son's name. The Living Tribunal, interested in the equity of the process, called on She-Hulk as prosecuting attorney. Jennifer Walters, in an attempt to get to the bottom of the matter, agreed to a mind probe of both Starfox and herself. She discovered that Starfox did not use his abilities to influence her decision to sleep with him, but that he was deliberately responsible for her sudden infatuation with and marriage to John Jameson. An enraged She-Hulk once more lashed out at Starfox for toying with ...


Oh FFS
 
2012-05-30 06:01:54 PM  
static03.mediaite.com

Holy hell this was a bad storyline. Magneto pretending to be Xorn while hopped up on some sentient drug or something.
 
2012-05-30 06:29:56 PM  

texdent: Thanos now appeared at the trial, and testified that his brother Starfox inspired his obsession with Death when they were children, when attempting to make young Thanos accept the death of an animal he had involuntarily killed with his enormous strength.


The only reason I understood this part at all was because someone explained the end of "The Avengers" movie to me.
 
2012-05-30 06:51:51 PM  

xpisblack: Point 1: never date Hank Pym.


Corollary: That Dr. Light fella seems on the up and up. And he's a doctor, baby. A DOCTOR!
 
2012-05-30 06:53:51 PM  
7: Call Dr. Strange about that haunted vagina
 
2012-05-30 06:55:58 PM  

Fano: Corollary: That Dr. Light fella seems on the up and up. And he's a doctor, baby. A DOCTOR!


firestormfan.com
 
2012-05-30 08:16:00 PM  
Rule 1: Don't date Tony Stark.
Rule 2: Don't date Tony Stark.
 
2012-05-30 09:42:54 PM  

texdent: Drunken_Polar_Bear: Trocadero: [www.universomarvel.com.aq image 640x1016]

Did... Did... Did She Hulk just Hulk kick some guy in the nuts?

*crosses his legs protectively and sides away*

From Wiki
Starfox was put on trial for sexual assault, accused of using his powers to seduce a happily married woman. He was defended by lawyer Jennifer Walters, the She-Hulk. The law firm which employed her, Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway, was contracted by Mentor to defend his son from the allegations. In the course of the trial, Ms. Walters came to suspect that Starfox had used his powers on her during their time in the Avengers, resulting in a brief sexual interaction. By this time, Starfox had been banned from the courtroom after it was determined that he was using his special abilities to influence the witnesses. When Jennifer Walters confronted Starfox with her suspicions via closed-circuit video link, he evaded her questions and then cut the video feed. Walters angrily charged out of the courtroom, transformed into She-Hulk, and caught Starfox as he was attempting to escape from Earth. She-Hulk dealt Starfox a savage beating, giving him no chance to defend his actions, knocked him unconscious, finally duct-taping his mouth shut to ensure that he could not use his abilities to elude punishment. However, Mentor, Starfox's father, effected his son's release by teleporting Starfox away to Titan.
Mentor eventually staged a native Titanian trial in the hopes of clearing his son's name. The Living Tribunal, interested in the equity of the process, called on She-Hulk as prosecuting attorney. Jennifer Walters, in an attempt to get to the bottom of the matter, agreed to a mind probe of both Starfox and herself. She discovered that Starfox did not use his abilities to influence her decision to sleep with him, but that he was deliberately responsible for her sudden infatuation with and marriage to John Jameson. An enraged She-Hulk once more lashed out at Starfox for toying with ...


Hey, Marvel. DC. You know why nobody cares about comics anymore outside of movies? Hint: It's not because there aren't enough gay people in them.
 
2012-05-30 10:34:22 PM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: texdent: Thanos now appeared at the trial, and testified that his brother Starfox inspired his obsession with Death when they were children, when attempting to make young Thanos accept the death of an animal he had involuntarily killed with his enormous strength.

The only reason I understood this part at all was because someone explained the end of "The Avengers" movie to me.


God, I read the Thanos Wikipedia article after seeing it, and was reminded how quickly plotlines turn to crap in high volume serial media.

Quick, we need a new plot for another Thanos storyline! I know, we'll pair him up with, uh (chucks dart) the Hulk. We haven't done that yet, right? Thanos will make a clone of him -- wait he did clones five issues ago? Okay, whatever, then there'll be a shapeshifting alien race...
 
2012-05-30 11:35:50 PM  

Skirl Hutsenreiter: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: texdent: Thanos now appeared at the trial, and testified that his brother Starfox inspired his obsession with Death when they were children, when attempting to make young Thanos accept the death of an animal he had involuntarily killed with his enormous strength.

The only reason I understood this part at all was because someone explained the end of "The Avengers" movie to me.

God, I read the Thanos Wikipedia article after seeing it, and was reminded how quickly plotlines turn to crap in high volume serial media.

Quick, we need a new plot for another Thanos storyline! I know, we'll pair him up with, uh (chucks dart) the Hulk. We haven't done that yet, right? Thanos will make a clone of him -- wait he did clones five issues ago? Okay, whatever, then there'll be a shapeshifting alien race...


Pretty much the embodiment of everything wrong with perpetual story characters. Sure, people like them, perhaps even love them. But you need to retire the poor guy after 3-5 years. Give it to one writting staff, give them a set deadline run, X issues per month, running X years. Minimal 'crossovers' requiring you to read 400000 different books to 'get the story'.

Then retire the character for a little while. Give him a cooling off period, and let someone else come in and create a new version. I only say this because americans aren't going to let go of flagships like Batman, Spiderman, Superman, X-men, etc.

In the case of group stories, limit the character to 1 book plus his own. So a Justice league book running concurrent with Deadpool (I think I crossed houses, but whatever) would preclude dp from showing up in every.farking.comic.
 
2012-05-31 05:11:24 AM  

texdent: Holy hell this was a bad storyline. Magneto pretending to be Xorn while hopped up on some sentient drug or something.


So bad, it was subjected to the fastest retcon in Marvel history. Only the Morrison fanboys still pitch hissy fits about Marvel undoing to work of their god.
 
2012-05-31 09:25:14 AM  

kroonermanblack: Pretty much the embodiment of everything wrong with perpetual story characters. Sure, people like them, perhaps even love them. But you need to retire the poor guy after 3-5 years. Give it to one writting staff, give them a set deadline run, X issues per month, running X years. Minimal 'crossovers' requiring you to read 400000 different books to 'get the story'.

Then retire the character for a little while. Give him a cooling off period, and let someone else come in and create a new version. I only say this because americans aren't going to let go of flagships like Batman, Spiderman, Superman, X-men, etc.


This is why I'm glad that the movies at least seem to have figured this out. Four movies, then reboot has become the norm. Try to run the series too long and you end up with the crap Batmans versus Mr. Freeze.

kroonermanblack: In the case of group stories, limit the character to 1 book plus his own. So a Justice league book running concurrent with Deadpool (I think I crossed houses, but whatever) would preclude dp from showing up in every.farking.comic.


But then how would you convince Deadpool fans to buy other series? Cram some important new part of Deadpool's arc into another series and now they have to buy it, too.
 
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