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(Gizmodo)   10 things that have Steve Jobs vibrating in his grave   (gizmodo.com) divider line 97
    More: Ironic, iPhone 4S, Apple TV, top box, user interfaces, beige  
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8197 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 May 2012 at 10:45 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-30 09:46:34 AM  
The Siri is a remarkable device. Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying and John Malkovich's creepy and somehow made Samuel L. Jackson uncool.
 
2012-05-30 09:52:42 AM  
10 things that have Steve Jobs vibrating in his grave.

You mean besides the worms and beetles feasting on his flesh?
 
2012-05-30 09:57:20 AM  
They're dead on with the UI details. iCal looks like something out of a badly colorized 1960s Western. I can't imagine who greenlit that look - I guess Lash LaRue is working at Apple now?
 
2012-05-30 10:12:10 AM  
Guess who's not in charge at Apple anymore?

True geniuses inspire others to carry on their visions. If he was so sparse with sharing his creative process, then he would leave no real legacy, just soon-to-be-outdated revolutionary gadgets. There was a downside to his obsession with centralized control.
 
2012-05-30 10:51:52 AM  
Semi-related... I recently found something interesting about Siri: I didn't like the default US voice, so I had switched to using the British voice. And, like many people, I was less than impressed with the voice recognition.

But, playing with it the other day, I tried out some of the foreign voices to see if they'd still parse American English, even though, say, French was selected... no, of course not. It couldn't understand a single word I said.

... which led me to an idea. I went back to the default US voice and the voice recognition was much better. And with the British voice, if I spoke in a fake British accent, the voice recognition was also much better. In other words, it's basing accent localization on the selected voice.
So, how many people have selected the British or Australian voice and are disappointed with Siri, without realizing that that selection made a difference.

/this also means they should add American Southerner, East Coast, West Coast, etc. as an option
//and make the responding voice independently selectable from your own accent
 
2012-05-30 10:52:42 AM  
It doesn't matter, Apple obsessed arseholes will still buy whatever crap they shiat out.
 
2012-05-30 10:55:32 AM  
He probably would have eventually relented on the screen size, if his ego would allow it.
 
2012-05-30 10:56:13 AM  

Theaetetus: In other words, it's basing accent localization on the selected voice.


Well why wouldn't it? I've never even tried it and I could figure that out. My question is, does it actually do anything useful or is it just a gimmick?
 
2012-05-30 10:59:12 AM  
The concept of a larger screen than 3.5" would have caused an aneurism.

Apple is already showing signs that it has lost focus. Larger iPhone, smaller iPad, losing their ability to convince people that Siri is truly unique and a necessity of life...

They lost their cult idol, and have begun flailing. Nobody with any strength of personality has stepped up to the helm. No matter what devices or software they "design", without the force of a strong leader they won't be able to sell it effectively.

Apple's not going away by any stretch of the imagination. Jobs did a great job getting the iProduct ingrained within the minds of the masses and iTunes the entertainment hub for millions of people. However, we should expect Apple to begin a decline just like last time they were without Señor Steve.
 
2012-05-30 10:59:13 AM  
Bet he wishes he was a 'PC' now.
 
2012-05-30 11:00:49 AM  
Useless without animated pics of Steve Jobs vibrating in his grave.

// disappointed
 
2012-05-30 11:01:25 AM  

Mugato: Theaetetus: In other words, it's basing accent localization on the selected voice.

Well why wouldn't it? I've never even tried it and I could figure that out. My question is, does it actually do anything useful or is it just a gimmick?


Well, right, now that I'm speakin' properly ter it, it takes dictation much better for emails, text messages, and web searchin', faster than I can type. It's also 'andy for settin' reminders or calendar entries in one step ravver than gahn frough a multi-input dialog box, mate.
 
2012-05-30 11:02:06 AM  

TheOther: Bet he wishes he was a 'PC' now.


PCs are boring. But they do tend to go with the modern westernized cancer treatments instead of some woo woo bullshiat and carrot juice or whatever the fark it was he was taking.
 
2012-05-30 11:03:35 AM  
The problem isn't Siri, its voice recognition in general. I've tried every voice recognition system I can get my hands on and Siri is as good as it gets without doing extensive training for each user, and even then it can't do what I say, only transcribe words.

Siri is useful for is doing what it was designed to do: adding reminders, adding calendar events, call my girlfriend, etc. Once you step outside of the list of commands its designed to handle it doesn't know what to do BECAUSE its A COMPUTER PROGRAM!

Everyone who's tried to show me why they hate Siri have tried to stump it with slang or asking obscure questions. Its not going to work like the computer on Star Trek; no voice recognition system in the world is that good.

So, Siri is the best general purpose voice system ever built into a phone, and people are whining because they can imagine a better system that doesn't actually exist.
 
2012-05-30 11:04:20 AM  

Kuroshin: The concept of a larger screen than 3.5" would have caused an aneurism.


He would have given in on that one eventually. It was inevitable. Fact is a huge segment of the phone buying public wants larger screens.
 
2012-05-30 11:06:14 AM  

Mugato: Theaetetus: In other words, it's basing accent localization on the selected voice.

Well why wouldn't it? I've never even tried it and I could figure that out. My question is, does it actually do anything useful or is it just a gimmick?


Just a gimmick from everything I've seen.
 
2012-05-30 11:06:35 AM  
Reading this on my iPhone I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

Actually I only have the iPhone cause I wanted a smart phone and the Google phone (as it was known at the time) wasn't out yet.

I'm actually rather surprised to learn Jobs forbad charity... Anyone know the reason? Only thing I can think of is not wanting Apple to be associated with them if they become... Less than reputable?
 
2012-05-30 11:06:40 AM  

czei: So, Siri is the best general purpose voice system ever built into a phone, and people are whining because they can imagine a better system that doesn't actually exist.


I think they're whining because it's been misrepresented in the commercials, mostly the early ones.
 
2012-05-30 11:09:33 AM  
6. Making products with worse specs

That new iPad's thickness is 0.37 inches and weighs 1.44 pounds, compared to the 0.34 inches and 1.34 pounds of the iPad 2. All while the battery life has decreased to 9 hours vs 10 hours using it. These differences are not dramatic, but they are a step back in Apple's star product. They represent compromise, and compromise is for b-players, something that Jobs hated. He constantly pushed engineers and suppliers to get the product he wanted.


So it's three-hundredths of an inch thicker and one tenth of a pound heavier. . . and therefore worse? And, despite 4G connectivity and a much better screen, the 10% decrease in battery life makes it horrible?

Seriously, THIS is what they're harping on? At some point, doesn't thinness/weight approach a singularity?

"The new iPad 8(e^i) with iOS 42 Forest Brachiosaurus is only .5x10^-3 inches thick and weighs less than a paperclip!"

". . .you expect us to carry around something that weighs as much as a paperclip?!"
 
2012-05-30 11:10:13 AM  
I refuse to update my appletv to version 5 just because of that bat-shiat awful interface.
 
2012-05-30 11:11:10 AM  
Jobs was a megalomaniac control freak. Of course nobody can step in to fill his shoes. I think Apple had a brilliant management strategy for their resources they had- you were basically two hops on the Org Chart from Jobs (or a Chinese worker assembling shiat). You need a certain kind of person in that top slot for that to work, and Jobs was that person.

That kind of person was rare. At the same time, Jobs wasn't some perfect genius. Finder has been a POS since OSX launched, and it hasn't gotten better. The 3D dock was approved on his watch, and it's terrible and remains so. I could go on.

My hope is that they're feeling out what the organization needs to look like in the post-Jobs landscape, and then they go back to focusing on making the best possible designs they can.

Kuroshin: Larger iPhone


Rumors have it that the iPhone isn't getting larger, just the screen. And I'm not as sure that Jobs would have an issue with that. Not as big a one, anyway.
 
2012-05-30 11:11:25 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: He probably would have eventually relented on the screen size, if his ego would allow it.


I find the size of my 4s and its screen to be perfect. I have friends with 4.X" android phones and while they're pretty, I can't imagine shoehorning those things into my pocket. In other words, if I could magically upgrade my current phone to the exact same thing with a larger screen, I would not.

You might think they'd offer both sizes for variety, but with Apple's simplistic approach to things, I have to wonder if that would cause headaches for developers having to deal with different resolutions for the two devices. Apple doesn't seem keen on saying that something will work on one current gen device, but not another.
 
2012-05-30 11:13:38 AM  

TwistedIvory: So it's three-hundredths of an inch thicker and one tenth of a pound heavier. . . and therefore worse? And, despite 4G connectivity and a much better screen, the 10% decrease in battery life makes it horrible?


If you're releasing a new version of a product, it should perform at least as well in every specification as the previous version. Apple was never a fan of making "trade offs". That's a big part of the reason that their initial revisions tend to seem really incomplete (remember the first iPhone?). They pick the features they can definitely nail, and they ship those with as much polish as they can put on them.

Which is why Siri is such an anomaly. It's a beta product shipping on one of their flagships and a core element of their marketing strategy. WTF?
 
2012-05-30 11:14:15 AM  

Mugato: Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying


THIS. I totally fell out of love with her after that. Who the fark is so incompetent they need to order TOMATO SOUP FOR DELIVERY???
 
2012-05-30 11:14:39 AM  

Will-Mun: Reading this on my iPhone I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

Actually I only have the iPhone cause I wanted a smart phone and the Google phone (as it was known at the time) wasn't out yet.

I'm actually rather surprised to learn Jobs forbad charity... Anyone know the reason? Only thing I can think of is not wanting Apple to be associated with them if they become... Less than reputable?


When I bought my 4s the top of the line Android was $299, I could not justify spending $99 more for a phone I would only have 2-3 years.
 
2012-05-30 11:14:41 AM  

czei: people are whining because


Go back and check out the 4s threads. People are whining now because it neither works as advertised, nor even as well as they thought it would work when it first came out. People were all like "it's star trek up in here! the future is here!". That turned out to be overstating it pretty substantially. More like Futurama and a thing that worked kinds sorta like the other thing already worked but with a pretty lady voice and a nice marketing name instead of 'voice recognition'.
 
2012-05-30 11:15:59 AM  

CaptainWes: Mugato: Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying

THIS. I totally fell out of love with her after that. Who the fark is so incompetent they need to order TOMATO SOUP FOR DELIVERY???


Siri, is that rain? I don't have a farking window.
 
2012-05-30 11:18:51 AM  

animal900: HotWingConspiracy: He probably would have eventually relented on the screen size, if his ego would allow it.

I find the size of my 4s and its screen to be perfect. I have friends with 4.X" android phones and while they're pretty, I can't imagine shoehorning those things into my pocket. In other words, if I could magically upgrade my current phone to the exact same thing with a larger screen, I would not.

You might think they'd offer both sizes for variety, but with Apple's simplistic approach to things, I have to wonder if that would cause headaches for developers having to deal with different resolutions for the two devices. Apple doesn't seem keen on saying that something will work on one current gen device, but not another.


I guess maybe I have bigger hands than the average Joe, I love my S2. The iphone never felt too small, but the bigger screen suits me better.

I think he would have eventually relented because consumers are starting to want and buy phones with bigger screens.
 
2012-05-30 11:20:23 AM  

CaptainWes: Mugato: Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying

THIS. I totally fell out of love with her after that. Who the fark is so incompetent they need to order TOMATO SOUP FOR DELIVERY???


Yeah, I always white knighted her as not being as annoying as people say. Now I just want to smack her.

/not with my hand
 
2012-05-30 11:20:47 AM  

Mugato: The Siri is a remarkable device. Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying and John Malkovich's creepy and somehow made Samuel L. Jackson uncool.


Zooey, standing next to a WET window, asks Siri if it is raining.

New tag line; Siri, It's for morans!
 
2012-05-30 11:23:43 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I guess maybe I have bigger hands than the average Joe, I love my S2.


Somewhere around 38-43'ish, presbyopia occurs. It's damn near universal and when it does just about everyone will wish they had a bit more screen real estate. So they can see it and read it and stuff.
 
2012-05-30 11:25:08 AM  

Here's why it doesn't matter:

farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2012-05-30 11:25:15 AM  
I guess I'm the only person who remembers when Siri was an app in the App Store, worked on devices other than just the 4S, and actually did most of the things we wish Siri did now.
 
2012-05-30 11:28:14 AM  

ABQGOD: I guess I'm the only person who remembers when Siri was an app in the App Store


Nope.

ABQGOD: and actually did most of the things we wish Siri did now


No it didn't. It was more feature complete, certainly, but it was still pretty much useless.
 
2012-05-30 11:37:04 AM  

TwistedIvory: So it's three-hundredths of an inch thicker and one tenth of a pound heavier. . . and therefore worse? And, despite 4G connectivity and a much better screen, the 10% decrease in battery life makes it horrible?


Well, when you don't understand that the screen has four times the number of pixels and needs brighter lights to make it as visible as the previous model, and that the GPU is four times as powerful... yeah, you don't take battery life into account. I'm sure Apple could have found batteries powerful enough to make the iPad 3 thinner than the iPad 2, but the cost would have been astronomical. As it is the 3's cost the same as the 2's did.
 
2012-05-30 11:39:11 AM  

CaptainWes: Mugato: Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying

THIS. I totally fell out of love with her after that. Who the fark is so incompetent they need to order TOMATO SOUP FOR DELIVERY???


i.imgur.com

Not incompetent. Just careful.
 
2012-05-30 11:43:59 AM  
Hotspacho.
 
2012-05-30 11:50:59 AM  

Will-Mun: Reading this on my iPhone I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

Actually I only have the iPhone cause I wanted a smart phone and the Google phone (as it was known at the time) wasn't out yet.

I'm actually rather surprised to learn Jobs forbad charity... Anyone know the reason? Only thing I can think of is not wanting Apple to be associated with them if they become... Less than reputable?


The honest truth is because Steve Jobs was a greedy fark who wanted Apple to horde cash. Dividends, acquisitions, charitable giving, offering a legal wage to overseas workers -- to him, all any of that did was reduce Apple's store of cash.
 
2012-05-30 11:53:13 AM  

TwistedIvory: 6. Making products with worse specs

That new iPad's thickness is 0.37 inches and weighs 1.44 pounds, compared to the 0.34 inches and 1.34 pounds of the iPad 2. All while the battery life has decreased to 9 hours vs 10 hours using it. These differences are not dramatic, but they are a step back in Apple's star product. They represent compromise, and compromise is for b-players, something that Jobs hated. He constantly pushed engineers and suppliers to get the product he wanted.

So it's three-hundredths of an inch thicker and one tenth of a pound heavier. . . and therefore worse? And, despite 4G connectivity and a much better screen, the 10% decrease in battery life makes it horrible?

Seriously, THIS is what they're harping on? At some point, doesn't thinness/weight approach a singularity?

"The new iPad 8(e^i) with iOS 42 Forest Brachiosaurus is only .5x10^-3 inches thick and weighs less than a paperclip!"

". . .you expect us to carry around something that weighs as much as a paperclip?!"


9% thicker, 7% heavier, 10% reduced battery life... those certainly count as worse.
 
2012-05-30 11:55:09 AM  

HotWingConspiracy:
I think he would have eventually relented because consumers are starting to want and buy phones with bigger screens.


From the sounds of it, it was his way or the highway. Jobs being a slight man with small hands, I'll bet he wouldn't have approved of the larger screen if it was uncomfortable for him to hold.
 
2012-05-30 11:55:18 AM  

CatPeople: Guess who's not in charge at Apple anymore?

True geniuses inspire others to carry on their visions. If he was so sparse with sharing his creative process, then he would leave no real legacy, just soon-to-be-outdated revolutionary gadgets. There was a downside to his obsession with centralized control.


Guess who was never any species of "genius" at all?

Jobs only claim to fame was his sociopathy, not any sort of "creative genius". He stole that from the people around him who were and frequently screwed them over in the process. He made his first IT fortune by hiding most of the money Atari paid him from his "partner" and supposed "best Friend" Wozniak. During his entire career that was apattern that would repeat itself. He seems to thing the the Ipod, Iphone, and Ipad were things Apple "invented" and that his competitior were "thieves" when in the majority of cases the reverse is true
 
2012-05-30 11:55:51 AM  

CaptainWes: Mugato: Its commercials amplified Zooey Danchanel's annoying

THIS. I totally fell out of love with her after that. Who the fark is so incompetent they need to order TOMATO SOUP FOR DELIVERY???


I had a crush on her until I saw her do an interview with Leno back when she was doing that weird Wizard of Oz movie. She was just so mind blowingly stupid that I wouldn't trust her near a stove to warm up her tomato soup.
 
2012-05-30 11:56:38 AM  

meanmutton: The honest truth is because Steve Jobs was a greedy fark who wanted Apple to horde cash. Dividends, acquisitions, charitable giving, offering a legal wage to overseas workers -- to him, all any of that did was reduce Apple's store of cash.


Maybe there's an app that let him take it with him.
 
2012-05-30 11:57:50 AM  

Ed Grubermann: TwistedIvory: So it's three-hundredths of an inch thicker and one tenth of a pound heavier. . . and therefore worse? And, despite 4G connectivity and a much better screen, the 10% decrease in battery life makes it horrible?

Well, when you don't understand that the screen has four times the number of pixels and needs brighter lights to make it as visible as the previous model, and that the GPU is four times as powerful... yeah, you don't take battery life into account. I'm sure Apple could have found batteries powerful enough to make the iPad 3 thinner than the iPad 2, but the cost would have been astronomical. As it is the 3's cost the same as the 2's did.


Well, I guess there are SOME sacrifices you have to make in order to keep a product's 50% profit margin.
 
2012-05-30 11:59:28 AM  
I'm guessing Jobs didn't see as clearly how profitable the company might become, and stuck with the idea of no dividends or charitable contributions from back when he was trying to keep Apple on sure footing. Perhaps he overlooked it during his decline in health, dismissed it as a short-lived thing, or had little faith for Apple to keep raking in the cash after he was gone.
 
2012-05-30 12:04:18 PM  

JohnBigBootay: czei: people are whining because

Go back and check out the 4s threads. People are whining now because it neither works as advertised, nor even as well as they thought it would work when it first came out.


Such as... What exactly in the official list of features doesn't work?
 
2012-05-30 12:08:17 PM  
That Apple may now actually donate some of it's vast fortune to charity
 
2012-05-30 12:09:04 PM  

Will-Mun: Reading this on my iPhone I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

Actually I only have the iPhone cause I wanted a smart phone and the Google phone (as it was known at the time) wasn't out yet.

I'm actually rather surprised to learn Jobs forbad charity... Anyone know the reason? Only thing I can think of is not wanting Apple to be associated with them if they become... Less than reputable?


So what are you on? a 3 year contract?
 
2012-05-30 12:10:01 PM  

czei: JohnBigBootay: czei: people are whining because

Go back and check out the 4s threads. People are whining now because it neither works as advertised, nor even as well as they thought it would work when it first came out.

Such as... What exactly in the official list of features doesn't work?


Anyone that buys a 4s for Siri is a wicked retard. I bought mine because the processor, screen, and camera were exponentially better than what I had with my 3gs. You could argue that 6 months and 300 various Android phones later, it still has the best camera on the market.
 
2012-05-30 12:15:08 PM  

czei: Such as... What exactly in the official list of features doesn't work?


You are, for some reason, attempting to refute a claim I never made. I said that it doesn't work as well as advertised nor as well as early adopters expected it to work. And both are true.
 
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