SharkTrager: Smeggy Smurf: HaywoodJablonski: 5 wives? What kind of man has so much soul to crush that he needs more than 1?

A sexually repressed one that has 6-8 kids with each wife.

Mormons: afraid of sex. Have a shiatload of kids. WTF?

I've known a lot of Mormons. Not many of them were afraid of sex.

The life cycle of a Mormon girl:

1-13: No clue what sex is, because they're kids.

14-15: "OMG I'm Mormon! I don't have premarital sex! That's a sin!"

16-18: Oral isn't "technically" sex.

18-20: Anal isn't "technically" sex, either! aka "The College Years"

20: Marries a Mormon boy, who is usually the first boyfriend she's actually told her parents about.

21-25: Pops out at least 4 kids and writes a Mormon mom blog, with photos of hubby and her decked out in the latest hipster fashions, and looking all Jared and Jerusha Hess.

25-30: Talks about how "awesome" it is to have no life outside raising children on her blog, and gets prescribed antidepressants.