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(Foodbeast)   Pizza Hut has a really tough time spelling "Hot Pockets"   (foodbeast.com) divider line 73
    More: Interesting, Hot Pockets, Pizza Hut, dipping sauce  
•       •       •

6042 clicks; posted to Business » on 29 May 2012 at 9:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-29 07:30:04 PM  
Hey I got an idea - let's fill a Pop-Tart with nasty meat.
 
2012-05-29 07:34:49 PM  
♫♪Diarrhea Pocket♫♪
 
2012-05-29 07:37:12 PM  
mojosavings.com

Just bake those right in the middle.
 
2012-05-29 07:45:04 PM  
Caliente pocket...
 
2012-05-29 07:52:46 PM  
Z'polyp
 
2012-05-29 08:31:37 PM  
Gut grenade.
 
2012-05-29 08:53:18 PM  
How many ways can they combine their crappy toppings, crappy cheese, and crappy dough
 
2012-05-29 09:51:54 PM  
site is farked? that was fast
 
2012-05-29 09:52:09 PM  
Molten lava tomato sauce squirting in my mouth! Yum
 
2012-05-29 09:52:18 PM  
P'Gimmick #734
 
2012-05-29 09:52:39 PM  
those look like turds.
 
2012-05-29 09:56:24 PM  

RoyHobbs22: those look like turds.


Tastes like turds too. Daughter and I tried two yesterday...yuck! Tossed ' em and ordered Round Table triple pepperoni pizza. Yummmm!
 
2012-05-29 09:59:20 PM  

Lor M. Ipsum: How many ways can they combine their crappy toppings, crappy cheese, and crappy dough


Oh we have not seen the end of this tunnel. Not even close.
 
2012-05-29 09:59:29 PM  
If you want a calzone, why not just order a bloody calzone? Why dress it up in a "fancy" tube form?

Want to sell a small snack-sized calzone? OFFER A SNACK SIZED CALZONE. People know what calzones are. Mostly. And if they don't, it still sounds less retarded than "P'zolo".

/Calzone is a funny word though.
//Calzone calzone calzone
 
2012-05-29 10:02:18 PM  
Looks like a pizza burrito. Seems straight forward enough. Don't know who decided to give the crust leprosy, however.
 
2012-05-29 10:09:30 PM  
Those look absolutely dire.
 
2012-05-29 10:14:43 PM  
So, what is the fancy version of Jim Gaffigan?
 
2012-05-29 10:15:09 PM  

poodebunker: RoyHobbs22: those look like turds.

Tastes like turds too. Daughter and I tried two yesterday...yuck! Tossed ' em and ordered Round Table triple pepperoni pizza. Yummmm!


Sounds like their plan worked.
 
2012-05-29 10:15:44 PM  
I haven't eaten at a Pizza Hut in over 15 years. Crap like this won't bring me back...

/ are the pizzas as bad as I remember them being? (eg. cardboard with off-tasting cheese)
 
2012-05-29 10:16:20 PM  

Amnestic: If you want a calzone, why not just order a bloody calzone? Why dress it up in a "fancy" tube form?


This is the same company that makes a pizza with a hot dog in the crust. Nothing is below them.
 
2012-05-29 10:20:09 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: ♫♪Diarrhea Pocket♫♪


Was listening to Marc Maron interview Jim Gaffigan on his WTF podcast the other day and Gaffigan claimed that Nestle did a study and discovered that even though he was equating their product with diarrhea, his act was boosting sales. So before his shows, as people were lined up outside the theater, Nestle would send out some guy dressed up as a Hot Pocket to hand out coupons to the crowd.
 
2012-05-29 10:21:55 PM  

dletter: So, what is the fancy version of Jim Gaffigan?


Zach Galifianakis

/he's got a funny last name
//Galifianakis Galifianakis Galifianakis
 
2012-05-29 10:22:18 PM  

Amnestic: If you want a calzone, why not just order a bloody calzone? Why dress it up in a "fancy" tube form?

Want to sell a small snack-sized calzone? OFFER A SNACK SIZED CALZONE. People know what calzones are. Mostly. And if they don't, it still sounds less retarded than "P'zolo".

/Calzone is a funny word though.
//Calzone calzone calzone


No, see, they already make a calzone. It's called the P'zone. This is another architectural variation. Big companies feel like they have to create "new" products all the time to keep customers interested and get free publicity like what we're giving them now.
 
2012-05-29 10:24:37 PM  
done well, that could be a good idea

done by pizza hutt, not really interested
 
2012-05-29 10:26:22 PM  

odinsposse: Amnestic: If you want a calzone, why not just order a bloody calzone? Why dress it up in a "fancy" tube form?

Want to sell a small snack-sized calzone? OFFER A SNACK SIZED CALZONE. People know what calzones are. Mostly. And if they don't, it still sounds less retarded than "P'zolo".

/Calzone is a funny word though.
//Calzone calzone calzone

No, see, they already make a calzone. It's called the P'zone. This is another architectural variation. Big companies feel like they have to create "new" products all the time to keep customers interested and get free publicity like what we're giving them now.


Meanwhile, I'm still buying calzones from Pete's Pizza. I've been doing it for 15 some odd years. Haven't been to pizza hut in over 20 years.
 
2012-05-29 10:26:25 PM  

Tanqueray: Gaffigan claimed that Nestle did a study and discovered that even though he was equating their product with diarrhea, his act was boosting sales.


not with me I literally have not had a hot pocket since the first time I heard that routine
 
2012-05-29 10:34:44 PM  

Shaggy_C: This is the same company that makes a pizza with a hot dog in the crust. Nothing is below them.


odinsposse: It's called the P'zone


I honestly thought you were making these up until I googled them. I was all ready to get a "You be trollin!" picture. Nope. They're real. Both of 'em.

Kinda glad I've stuck to local takeout places rather than going to the 'big name' ones. Last time I ate Domino's was about 5 years ago, Pizza Hut about 10. Really don't feel like I've missed anything worth talking about.
 
2012-05-29 10:36:05 PM  

odinsposse: No, see, they already make a calzone. It's called the P'zone. This is another architectural variation. Big companies feel like they have to create "new" products all the time to keep customers interested and get free publicity like what we're giving them now.


It's simple economics. In monopolistic competition, the long-run economic profit is always zero. The only thing you can do in the short run is create new products to capture whatever profit you can before competitors follow suit. This is no different than McDonalds selling coffee a few years ago.
 
2012-05-29 10:39:45 PM  

SilentStrider: Caliente pocket...


You've got a gift, my friend.
 
2012-05-29 10:44:00 PM  
I swear, "Hot Pockets" has got to be one of the top 10 stand-up routines ever. At least for me it is.

/"Now you can have a Hot Pocket for breakfast, a Hot Pocket for lunch, and be dead by dinner. Deaaad Pocket."
 
2012-05-29 10:46:02 PM  

SnarfVader: SilentStrider: Caliente pocket...

You've got a gift, my friend.


It's not as good as his "By Mennen", though.
 
2012-05-29 10:53:48 PM  
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the multiverse....
 
2012-05-29 10:55:11 PM  
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the multiverse....


fc08.deviantart.net
 
2012-05-29 10:55:28 PM  

Kevin72: Meanwhile, elsewhere in the multiverse....


If only we had trade embassies with other universes, we could threaten to release pizza hut on them
 
2012-05-29 10:57:13 PM  

Amnestic: If you want a calzone, why not just order a bloody calzone? Why dress it up in a "fancy" tube form?

Want to sell a small snack-sized calzone? OFFER A SNACK SIZED CALZONE. People know what calzones are. Mostly. And if they don't, it still sounds less retarded than "P'zolo".

/Calzone is a funny word though.
//Calzone calzone calzone


I wouldn't say it's "fancy". Looks more like a costco chicken bake or a burrito than a calzone, so why call it a calzone? And the form factor of their calzones doesn't lend itself to a snacksized calzone, imho
 
2012-05-29 10:57:51 PM  

SilentStrider: Tanqueray: Gaffigan claimed that Nestle did a study and discovered that even though he was equating their product with diarrhea, his act was boosting sales.

not with me I literally have not had a hot pocket since the first time I heard that routine


yeah I have the same issue. Anytime I see them on sale and think "that $2.50 will save me another $5 because I won't just go pick something up at lunch" I just hear that Gaffigan's "hotttt pockets" and its over.
 
2012-05-29 11:03:11 PM  

baorao: SilentStrider: Tanqueray: Gaffigan claimed that Nestle did a study and discovered that even though he was equating their product with diarrhea, his act was boosting sales.

not with me I literally have not had a hot pocket since the first time I heard that routine

yeah I have the same issue. Anytime I see them on sale and think "that $2.50 will save me another $5 because I won't just go pick something up at lunch" I just hear that Gaffigan's "hotttt pockets" and its over.


Same....except that it caused me to transition to frozen burritos, so I'm not sure I really came out ahead.
 
2012-05-29 11:16:13 PM  

Triumph: Hey I got an idea - let's fill a Pop-Tart with nasty meat.


It's been done.
spacebison.com
 
2012-05-29 11:21:14 PM  
theseamonster.net

Taken at the Pizza Hut P'Zolo harvesting facility.
 
2012-05-29 11:22:08 PM  

Lor M. Ipsum: How many ways can they combine their crappy toppings, crappy cheese, and crappy dough


I don't think they've baked all their menu items into their crusts yet. Eventually they'll just start attaching mini-pizzas to the crust because you're already eating one of our crappy pizzas, so why not two?
 
2012-05-29 11:37:34 PM  

fishingthesky: Lor M. Ipsum: How many ways can they combine their crappy toppings, crappy cheese, and crappy dough

I don't think they've baked all their menu items into their crusts yet. Eventually they'll just start attaching mini-pizzas to the crust because you're already eating one of our crappy pizzas, so why not two?


Well, they kind of did that.....

quikorder.pizzahut.com

Not too much of a stretch to get from "Cheesy Bites" to "Cheesy Bites with pepperoni and mushroom".
 
2012-05-29 11:44:12 PM  

Lor M. Ipsum: How many ways can they combine their crappy toppings, crappy cheese, and crappy dough


On that topic though, I was watching a few old commericals, for Pizza Hut and KFC....

Pizza Hut

KFC

The stuff actually looks pretty good, better than they even try to make it on the commercials now. And at least in my memories, it seems like they did make better food back then... although it could have just been because I was 8 at the time. Maybe someone older than me who was actually an adult at the time could attest to whether they actually did prepare better food in the late 70s/early 80s.
 
2012-05-29 11:47:50 PM  
HAY! HEY U!!!!!!

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO PIZZA HUT IN 74 YEARZ!!!

THEY STILL MAKE THEIR PIZZA OUTTA KETCHUP N CARDBOARD N STUFF???

HEY?

YOU HEAR ME?

PIZZA HUT IS THE SUXXORZ!!

I HAD DIAHHREA FOR 18 DAYS THE LAST TIME I ATE THEIR!!!

I GO TO MY LOCAL MOM AND POP PIZZA SHOP.

IT'S 100000 TIMES WAAAAY BETTER!
 
2012-05-29 11:49:49 PM  

zato_ichi: HAY! HEY U!!!!!!

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO PIZZA HUT IN 74 YEARZ!!!

THEY STILL MAKE THEIR PIZZA OUTTA KETCHUP N CARDBOARD N STUFF???

HEY?

YOU HEAR ME?

PIZZA HUT IS THE SUXXORZ!!

I HAD DIAHHREA FOR 18 DAYS THE LAST TIME I ATE THEIR!!!

I GO TO MY LOCAL MOM AND POP PIZZA SHOP.

IT'S 100000 TIMES WAAAAY BETTER!


You say all that in jest as if you have some case that Pizza hut is better than most mom and pop places?
 
2012-05-30 12:01:23 AM  
They should start making calzones the size of chicken nuggets, and they should fire the guy who makes up names and just call them "calzone bites." Then they should copyright the name so that if they end up getting popular and Domino's wants to rip them off they have to call their ripoff product something retarded. They're trying to be cool, and when a huge faceless corporation tries to be cool they fail hilariously. On a related note, Starbucks should drop the cutesy names for their cup sizes.
 
2012-05-30 12:02:26 AM  
I considered eating at Pizza Hut this evening, so I am now considering getting a kick out of these replies.

/didn't though
//went home & ate food out of a box
 
2012-05-30 12:07:59 AM  

fishingthesky: I don't think they've baked all their menu items into their crusts yet. Eventually they'll just start attaching mini-pizzas to the crust because you're already eating one of our crappy pizzas, so why not two?


Yo dawg! I heard you like pizza...
 
2012-05-30 12:14:22 AM  

zato_ichi: HAY! HEY U!!!!!!

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO PIZZA HUT IN 74 YEARZ!!!

THEY STILL MAKE THEIR PIZZA OUTTA KETCHUP N CARDBOARD N STUFF???

HEY?

YOU HEAR ME?

PIZZA HUT IS THE SUXXORZ!!

I HAD DIAHHREA FOR 18 DAYS THE LAST TIME I ATE THEIR!!!

I GO TO MY LOCAL MOM AND POP PIZZA SHOP.

IT'S 100000 TIMES WAAAAY BETTER!


what he said
 
2012-05-30 12:18:38 AM  
Pizza Hut is to pizza as Taco Bell is to Mexican food.

/Fark you PIzza Hut.
 
2012-05-30 12:20:49 AM  
Are Seinfeld references still cool?

media.avclub.com
 
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